Disclaimer: TTS, Tangled and the songs Killer, and Bullet Train are not mine.
Bold- Singing, A/N, Disclaimer.
Varian swore.
Rapunzel suppressed the urge to tell him off.
"Dun, da dun. We're dead."
"Thanks for noticing." Varian shot back.
Blade stuffed a knife into Varian's hands. "I hope you know how to fight, 'cause I'm no master myself."
"How-"
"Corona security."
In fact, Varian had gotten a little training in 'Fighting in Circumstances Where You Are Disadvantaged'.
And of course, Quirin never explained how he knew this stuff, or why he was teaching it to Varian.
Dads.
Cassandra shot an arrow at them from a crossbow, as it neared them, Blade's hand moved quicker than humanly possible, it seemed, flinging a couple miniature boomerang blades towards it.
Seconds later the arrow was in pieces, and Blade was holding miniature boomerang blades between her fingers, wearing a cheshire grin.
"Not a master… more of an artist."(Pronounced: Arr-tea-st, with an accent) Blade laughed, before muttering, mostly to herself: "Even though I can't draw to save my life."
"You take Crossbow Lady, I'll take the other two."
"What- I- hey!" Varian glared at Blade as he charged at Cassandra.
Blade nearly got banged in the head about twenty times as she barraged Rapunzel and Eugene with a swirling storm of knives.
Varian blocked a blow to his head with the blade, and lunged forward for another attack.
Music began to play.
Varian parried an attack to his shoulder. "Stu-u-uck in a limbo-"
Everyone(minus Varian) took a moment to look confused.
Blade rolled her eyes. "Here we go."
"Me and my sins go- toe to toe-oh oh oh!" Varian stabbed the knife forward, aiming for the chest.
Cassandra blocked it last second, looking a little impressed.
"I played a vicious part!"
Cassandra raised an eyebrow.
That meant: 'WTF is he going on about?'
"Whoa-oh!" Blade put in helpfully.
"A broken heart, into an unfair share of pa-a-arts!" He made a jab towards her heart.
"Very unique." Eugene joked.
Varian didn't seem to hear him.
"I'm about to blow, so if you come around, maybe you should know-oh-oh-oh!"
"Go ahead, knock me out, you know what's best for you!"
Knock me out=Kill me
"Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!"
"I'm!" He stabbed forward.
"No!" Again.
"Good!" Repeat.
"For!" And again.
"You!" Ditto.
"Ooh!" You get the idea.
"I'm not built for you, so-"
Cassandra tried to cut him off."Okay listen, if you think that-"
"I'll run away, run away!"
"What."
Yeah, that was all Cassandra could say.
"'Cause I'm no- I'm no- I'm no-"
"Good for you."
Cassandra groaned.
That meant: 'Why is this my life!?'
"I'm."
"No!"
"Good!"
"For!"
"You!"
"Ooh!"
"We get it!"
"This love I gotta lose,"
"So I'll run away, run away."
"He's a bullet train-" Blade was quickly cut off by the flow.
"'Cause I'm no, I'm no, I'm no-"
"Good for you."
"I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, kill-er."
"I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, kill-er."
"I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, KILL-ILL-ER!"
"Varian: Number of successful murders: zero." Blade pointed out 'very helpfully'.
"L-l-lower than real low,"
I guess I have to mention that Rapunzel is looking very confused too.
"Here we go."
"Hide my heart like a reaper."
"Does that even make any sense?:
"You dug yourself into-"
"A pretty mess that I made for you-ooh-ooh!"
At that moment Rapunzel decided to exclaim out loud the thing that nobody bothered to point out. "I get it! Varian's song is about how he doesn't have a crush on Cass anymore!"
Cue anime style deadpan.
Varian pretty much ignored everyone.
"I've a lot to show-" He missed the next line due to nearly getting stabbed in the heart.
That would have been inconvenient.
It would be kinda hard for Ruddiger to get a hold of one of Quirin's bones for the ressurection ritual. (Harry Potter)
"I'd tear you up in two."
"Varian, there is a big difference between stabbing and tearing."
"So I'll go ahead, walk out, do what's best for you."
"Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh."
"Uh, hello? Kind of crazy moment here, are you done singing love songs to your crush?" Snapped a frustrated, greenish looking, Blade, who had pinned to the wall with small knives, and gagged, Eugene and Rapunzel, who, except for a few small scratches, seemed unharmed.
"Let's get our butts outta here, before, you know!"
"First of all, those were not love songs! I don't have a crush on Princess Rapunzel's Lady In Waiting anymore."
"Cold." But, the butterflies in Blade's stomach did a few happy flips.
Somehow, Varian managed to pathetically defend himself from Cassandra, while being dragged ahead by Blade.
"Alright y'know what?" Blade said, attacking Cassandra. "You run ahead I'll catch up."
Cassandra finally decided she needed backup.
One could not handle the power that was Blade alone.
You know, because Varian was going to go ahead.
I mean, Blade was transformed. Knives swirling around her like a wild blizzard, and a black cat ear headband that no one was quite sure when she put it on.
But no one ran ahead, and because I, Tia13tia, am a kind dictator with complete control over everything, and let them go to the secret tunnel before being caught up by the guards.
/
Meanwhile:
"Why aren't you four at your post?" The Captain said it in his usual I-would-like-to-kill-you-but-I-don't-want-to-go-to-prison air.
"You sent for us." Luke said dryly.
"No. I did not."
"Uh- what?" Ralph asked.
Victor folded his arms.
"Nico." Nico stopped in his tracks. "Where are you going?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Nico locked his dark eyes with the Captain's, staring at him in a dead way that would haunt the Captain for years to come.
Well, probably not. The Captain's a tough guy.
Nico's voice was cold and hollow. As usual. "It's clearly a trap. The Alchemist must have escaped. The person who came, Kia, must have been an associate. Probably a fangirl. He's collecting followers. Shouldn't we… do something about it?"
"Yes, of course. Ralph, check room 42, if empty, search for Varian. If not, stand guard. Luke, go with him. Victor, tell everyone about the issue, and tell the other guards to search. Nico, I want you to search the tunnels."
They all dashed out of the room.
"Dad!"
There is no rest for the wicked, or for a Captain.
"Cassandra, we-"
"Varian's escaped. He attacked the princess, Fitzherbert and I. He had a girl with him. She had brown hair, a lot of knives, and… a cat headband."
Yep, that sounded like a fangirl alright.
"Alright Cassandra. Alert the castle to the danger."
/
Anyhow, Nico crept through the secret tunnels.
And, behold, voices.
Or, uh, beheard, voices…?
Nay.
"Why are these tunnels so boring, and why are you poking everything with that knife?"
Nico drew his sword. "Halt."
The two jumped.
"Halt? Really? La-ame."
"Kia, you are working for… him?" Nico asked calmly, with a voice as cold as death.
In that moment, Blade realized that she was still wearing the guard in training uniform. With her jacket over it. Note, it's like the one Eugene wore while he was trying to become a royal guard. "Hi. It's not Kia, it's Blade-"
"Really?"
"-and I am not working for him, I am… cooperating with him."
"Sure." Nico rolled his eyes. "Listen. Come quietly, and no one will get hurt."
Blade exaggeratedly rolled her eyes, imitating him mockingly. "No one will get hurt." She smirked. "You should reword that. YOU won't get hurt. Hate to break it to you, but boredom hurts. A lot." And with that, she slashed the dull side of the knife towards the side of his head.
He dodged with surprising swiftness.
Varian and Blade closed in for attack.
Nico was blocking and dodging like someone who had years of practice.
And then, out of nowhere: "Do you want to take over the world?"
Nico earned himself a pair of blank stares. "Just Corona then?"
"What? No-what-why?" Varian rambled. "No!"
"Oh." Nico lowered his sword. "Go."
"What you mean go!?" Blade demanded. "We're fighting here! Hello?"
But it was too late, Nico disappeared into the shadows.
Okay, fine, he took a couple of steps to the left.
"Go."
The two ran off without looking back.
OMAKE:
"For the last time, my name isn't Nico." Growled Nico. "It's Nero. Ne-ro. I don't care about your Percy Jackson and the Olympians reference, or that you don't like tyrannical Roman emperors."
"Aw." That was me. I can talk. Woo.