A.N. Hey guys I'm back yet again and I've been getting loads of requests so thank you very much. This next one I was given two options on what I chose to write about and there was one where I thought would tie in better. This was requested by Rachael (koalagirl9) so I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it's all the amazeballs Suzanne Collins

I love seeing Katniss and Peeta with their children. Both of them are such good parents and they always look so happy together. It's just sometimes when I see them I can't help but think that could have been Effie and I. Effie had always been good with kids as well, I don't really know why it must have been something about the clown make-up that kids found amusing.

Throughout the months of Effie's pregnancy we did well to hide it. She wore dresses that stuck out so no-one could really tell her stomach has gotten bigger and as Effie has always been quite a petite person her stomach never got outrageously big. I take a big swig of liquor trying to block it all out. The truth is Effie lost the baby and on that day I couldn't help but think. Oh my god we killed another child. Our own child. Effie was heartbroken and locked herself in her apartment for three days and didn't leave, didn't answer the door and didn't even answer her phone.

She made herself sick with grief and became stick thin. It was one day I went to visit her and she wouldn't answer the door even though I knew she was in there. When I was in 12 I learnt a few things and one of those was how to pick a lock. When I finally got the door open, there sat Effie in darkness. The television wasn't on, the curtains were closed and not a light was on. Her face was a horrible shade of grey which Effie being Effie would have usually covered up but this Effie was wearing no make-up at all which worried me slightly. She still wore her fancy Capitol clothes but they hung off her like curtains.

"Effie, come on let's get these curtains open," I say tripping over empty bottles that I guess must have once contained alcohol.

"Looks like the roles have changed haven't they Haymitch?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's usually me taking care of you," she says, her voice flat.

I nod pulling open the curtains and watching Effie squint as sunlight fills her apartment. It's then I realise how much alcohol Effie had been drinking. It was not like her and surely her little frame couldn't consume so much of the strong stuff she was drinking.

"Effie, why have you been drinking so much? You know you can make yourself ill," I say picking some of them up.

"I have been drinking for the same reason you have been drinking all of these years. To take away the pain," she says tears forming in her eyes before she quickly wipes them away.

I stop trying to remember the days Effie was unhappy for sad and focus on the present. Katniss' children were given their very first bows and arrows last week. Her daughter is getting the hang of it but her son fails miserably every time he attempts it. I wonder what our child would have been like. Would it have been a boy or a girl? Would it have been uptight and obsessed with manners or would it have been always up to mischief and running about wild? Would Effie and I live together? If not who would the child live with? If we did live together would we stay in the Capitol or District 12? These are all questions I will never find out, these are questions that will always be at the back of my mind and will sometimes appear out of the blue and continue to make me drink. I push the thoughts to the back of my mind and put down the bottle.

After all the caution Effie and I took I still ended up loosing two lives at the end of things. Another two people I loved or would have loved. The rebellion may be over but the Capitol will have always won. They took away lives from some innocent and some not so innocent people. The killed husbands, wives and children. They caused grief for seventy five years and are still causing grief in every district; some of these people are close to me, Annie in District 4 who is a single mother because Finnick got killed by mutts, a child who will never know who his father is except that his father is a hero. Peeta here in District 12, he got trackerjacker venom in him which he has not fully recovered from and will be haunted from the hallucinations he had when the venom was at its worst. Last but not least, every person who went into the games and survived. These people will be plagued with nightmares all of their lives, wishing they had not had to go through that and come out alive because they would be better off dead.

People say it's over but it will never be over. The Capitol will always have won.

A.N. Thanks for reading, I know I kind of drabbled on a bit there but oh well these things happen. This one wasn't so much hayffie, it was more about Haymitch but these things happen.

~Emma