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Jay felt restless. He'd made Will leave him alone. Jay's doctor had wanted him to stay for å few more hours before he'd release him, as he was still suffering the effects of the concussion pretty bad. He'd thrown up his breakfast so he'd refused to try lunch, just drinking some apple juice the nurse had forced on him, arguing that he needed something in his system if he was going to be going home later in the day.
Hopefully Will would get some sleep and come get Jay in the early evening.
Ethan had been by to check on him, explaining to Jay what had happened the day before, as he had a hard time remembering. The concussion had scrambled his brain pretty bad. Ethan warning him about the effects of it, that he would need rest.
Problem was that Jay's coping strategy if his flashbacks or nightmares resurfaced, was either going to the gym to work out until he could hardly stand up, or watch TV all night. Neither strategy would be an option for a while.
Having closed his eyes just for a minute to rest a minute, the headache bothering him he could hear shuffling steps outside his door before someone knocked. Jay wasn't ready to face his boss or anyone else but he knew he had to at some point.
"Come in," he said as loud as his head could tolerate without the apple juice he'd swallowed coming back up for a surprise visit.
"Hey, is it okay to visit," Erin said opening the door, Antonio a step behind her.
"Yeah…come on, come in." Jay tried to smile and act like he was happy to see them.
Jay felt awkward sitting up in a hospital bed, IV still in his arm, leads monitoring his heartbeat, blood pressure cuff around his bicep. It was slightly claustrophobic; his colleagues standing over him, the equipment attached tethering him to the bed. Not able to get up and wander the room to get away from their scrutiny.
Erin must have picked up on his discomfort taking a step back from him to sit down in one of the chairs beside the bed. Antonio walked over to the end of Jay's bed, deciding to put some distance between them, leaning against the wall.
"You doing okay?" Erin's eyes were searching Jay as if she was inspecting him for damage.
"Yeah, headache, other than that I'm okay I guess." Jay had to avert his eyes as he was lying just a little bit, but they didn't need to know, it was enough with Will's concern smothering him.
"Yeah? You remember what happened at the scene yesterday? You disappeared from under our noses!"
Antonio seemed upset.
"Uh..no…just Ruzek cursing and then we hit that other car. Yesterdays' a bit fuzzy still," Jay really didn't remember how he'd exited the car or the ride to the hospital.
"Will said you hit your head pretty bad, had to get some stitches. There was blood in the back seat; the window on your side broke." Erin said, still looking at Jay as if she was trying to figure out some kind of mystery.
"Explains the headache then," Jay tried to smile at her, diffuse the tension in the room.
"You caught a ride with the patrol car following the ambo that carried Ruzek, they thought you'd been cleared on scene by paramedics," Antonio supplying more information about what had transpired at the scene.
"Huh, really? I can't really remember much," Jay reached up to rub at the bandage at the back of his head; it was really starting to itch.
"We thought you'd gone home, that you were unharmed until Will called me. Said you'd been admitted overnight with a head wound."
Erin leaned forward, her arm reaching across the bed rail, her hand taking Jay's, a gesture of concern.
Looking down at their joined hands he didn't really know what to say.
"Are Ruzek and Olinsky doing okay?" he asked remembering someone telling him they were doing okay earlier. But he needed to shift the focus over on someone else.
"They're okay, just cuts and bruises, both are recuperating at home. You're the only one still in hospital," Erin's raised eyebrows was supposed to tell Jay something but he missed the point, his brain wasn't working right.
"Good, glad everyone's okay." Jay closed his eyes, tired of keeping up appearances, his headache spiking.
Both his visitors went quiet, obviously waiting for Jay to open his eyes again, Erin's hand squeezing his in an unspoken question if he was fine.
Another knock on his door startled him, and Erin's hand let go of his.
Opening his eyes he found Will peeking in the door.
"Hi! Didn't know you had visitors," Will wasn't in his scrubs anymore; he looked a bit more rested then when he left that morning.
Jay could tell his heartrate had spiked as the beeping behind him speeded up.
"You okay?" Will asked noting the monitor and the telltale sign his brother was distressed.
Jay just nodded his head, not answering Will's question verbally. The beeping slowing down.
"We'll leave you alone Jay, I'll come by later when you're home to check on you," Erin said, getting up from the chair looking at Antonio, then giving Jay a hug.
"I'll take him home later; he's off work for at least a week. Head wounds are tricky though so he might need more," Will said looking down at Jay's tired form.
"Get some rest Jay, take all the time you need," Antonio said, as he put a hand on Jays shoulder.
"Yeah, thanks, I'm fine though, don't listen to him," Jay tried to put on a smile, but it was difficult to put up his normal front.
Erin and Antonio left, leaving the brothers alone. Will had brought a bag of clothes as the ones Jay had been brought in with were dirty and bloodied.
He'd brought his little brothers favorite sweats, and a Hawkes t-shirt. Will left to tell the nurses station that he'd be taking Jay home.
Jay was dizzy as he sat up, pushing his hands though his hair touching the bandage at the back of his head. It was strange how he'd lost time, the blanks spots in his memory disconcerting to him. He'd had blackouts before, alcohol induced ones for sure. But there was still a week missing from his time in Afghanistan before waking up in a hospital in Germany that he didn't want to be reminded of.
Will came bounding back into the room, making Jay push way his disturbing thoughts.
"Okay, let's do this," Will said, determination on his face as he tossed Jay's clothes on the bed, his hands going for the strings tying the back of Jay's hospital gown together.
It wasn't as awkward as he'd thought it would be as Will helped him get his own clothes back on but Jay insisted he could put his shoes on by himself. Bending over to tie the laces making his head spin, but Will stood back, letting Jay have his way.
It was a balancing act between helping and keeping his distance so that Jay could have some privacy and not feel smothered.
Will tried not to talk constantly as he drove to their place, he was keeping Jay close by for a few days. There had been some protests when he'd learned Will would stay home with him, but when Jay understood that it was either that or another night at Med he'd shut up about it.
His brother was quiet, not something entirely new when it came to Jay, but it was difficult to gauge him when he was like this.
Making their way into the apartment, Jay sought out the couch pretty quickly; he looked kind of ashen, the concussion probably making him feel like shit. Getting him to eat and take some meds would be the first challenge Will thought as he went to put his brothers belongings away in his room.
Jay had tipped over on his side, lying down when Will returned, his eyes closed, the furrowed brow a telltale sign of him not sleeping.
Will found the bottle of Advil and the antiemetic Ethan had prescribed, hoping his brother would swallow the pills without arguing this time. Being at home hopefully made him less skittish and afraid to sleep.
Presenting Jay with two pills and a glass of apple juice after poking his shoulder to make him open his eyes Will could see the fear there. It was bubbling under the surface.
"You need it, come on, sit up," Will helped pull on his brother's arm, helping sit up.
"I'm not sure I'll keep them down Will, just give me a minute."
Will couldn't tell if he was stalling to get out of taking anything, or if he was being truthful about being too nauseated. The look Jay gave him was begging him to not nag him.
"Okay, but it'll help make you feel less sick so maybe you should try? You haven't really eaten anything in the last 24 hours so you could use some calories in you." Will tried smiling, make Jay feel less like a project Will had to deliver on.
Jay studied the pills for a minute, then picked them up and rolled them around in his hand before popping them in his mouth and swallowing them with the juice Will had provided.
Will smiled, as he watched Jay from the kitchen, happy his brother was trying to do what was good for him.
tbc