So tired... Enjoy.

Kat

-Mello-

I stood trembling staring at the floor.

"I'm sorry." Matt looked at me confused.

"Sorry? For what?" I looked up, did he honestly just ask that? He didn't look upset though, he looked…relieved? "Come on, Let's get a pizza."

The night went smoothly, I finally relaxed, felt safe; Matt, his shoulders lost all the tension that they had held for months… We ate pizza, watched a movie, Matt even convinced me to play a game. It was late, but Matt had convinced me one day off of school wouldn't hurt. He clapped my shoulder and we left to our separate rooms.

Days passed, nothing changed, I went to school and work; he did computer work for some people, occasionally worked on a car. Jen never showed up. Matt didn't seem to care. When I asked he just shrugged and said,

"She'll come back when she's ready."

I hated work, the music would come on and I could feel the hands, the pain; but I was paid well and needed the money. I told myself that it was only a temporary thing with Matt. I would find someplace and move back out. One night I came home early, someone had grabbed me and I froze. Ultimately I was sent home and another dancer brought in. As I walked in I stopped, frozen. Matt was on the couch, eyes closed, hand on his cock.

"Oh, um…Sorry…I'll just…" I quickly looked away walking quickly passed going to my room. I was stopped however, by a hand on my wrist.

"Matt?"

"What happened to all your offers?" Trembling I pulled away.

"No." Matt looked hurt at my panicked backing away, he stepped forward catching me between the wall and his body hand cupping my cheek.

"I would never hurt you." I found myself locked into his gaze. I don't think I had ever seen him without goggles before now. His green eyes were magnetic. I knew instantly that his eyes were what had caused Jennifer to fall for him. I could feel it happening myself.

"You're married."

He leaned closer, only a breath away now. "Never stopped you before."

Our lips touched. It was explosive. I always scoffed at the idea of "love" mocking those who spoke of "sparks." Never again. His hands rested gently on a hip, the other cupping the back of my head. Not liking this new timid me, I forced my shaking arms around his neck. I could feel his grin in the kiss as he deepened it. Damn it all if he wasn't a better kisser sober. I had thought it impossible. Crying I broke the kiss.

"I can't."

"Did I ask for sex?" Scowling I shoved him back, slowly making my way to the room he was loaning me.

"I'm not stupid! I know how this goes! You were hard, missing your wife and you want a good fuck. I'm here, I'm convenient, I've offered before. Well that was before…" My hand closed around the handle to the door.

"Did I ever say this was for Jen?" He gestured to his erection. I froze. He continued,

"Somewhere in the past six months I realized….Jen was a mistake ok? I loved her at one point, I still do to some extent, but…." He shook his head. "Never mind. Goodnight Mello." He kissed me chastely going into his room, shutting the door behind him.

The next few days were slightly strained on my part. Matt seemed to know what he wanted, me. But he was married, and then I wasn't even sure I could… He was patient though, letting me think things through.

But then one night I came home from work, I was in a panic. I could feel hands, taste alcohol; I needed familiarity, safety. Matt was on the couch playing some game, I all but ran over, straddling his lap kissing him needily.

"Touch me, Matt. Please. I need someone I know…Please…"

"What? Mello, are you sure?" I just kissed him again. Tossing the controller aside he laid me back on the couch. In my attire from work, there wasn't much to remove and soon I was bare before him. I pulled off his shirt, not wanting to be the only vulnerable one; that was all he allowed me to remove. Instead, he looked at me. He looked at me. Not hungrily like the people I dance for, but honestly looked. He saw me not the façade, but me. His hand brushed my cheek, then my collarbone, tracing down my arm lacing our fingers. This innocent touch…It was more…I don't know, but more than sex I've had with others. His hands finally rested on my hips as his lips touched mine, my palms resting against his chest.

"Matt, I'm sorry I…" We pulled away at the sound of a female voice, seeing Jen standing in the door. "Get out."

"Jen, calm down." Matt stood crossing to her, I stood slipping back into the skirt I had been wearing. I looked down as Matt rested his hands on her shoulders. I was twining my fingers, before jumping at the loud "crack" that split the air. A red hand print covered Matt's cheek.

"I. Want. Him. Out. Now." I didn't wait for Matt's response, I walked to my loaned room slipping on a pair of jeans shoving my things in a bag.

"Mello, wait!" I shook my head holding my bag tightly quickly walking past.

"Good riddance! Whore!"

"Mello! Come back!" I ignored the calls, both sets of them pressing my helmet on my head kicking my bike to life with a roar. I didn't know where I would go, but I knew I couldn't stay here. As it started to rain lightly, it was easy to pretend it was rain, not tears that made my vision blurry. That the insults didn't cut.

I found some ratty motel I could afford for a few days. Matt called five times and sent me ten text messages. I didn't answer. I couldn't.