Title: A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes – Chapter 6
Genre: NCIS – Romance/Angst
Pairing: Tony and Ziva
Rating: M just because Missy is unpredictable.
Timeline: Season 9. AU – seriously now, we break away from the show here.
Spoilers: Some, vaguely – you know, Missy's speciality. Slight crossover with NCIS LA.
Summery: See Chapter one.
Disclaimer: Even if they were mine, I wouldn't want this to happen to them.
A/N: Readers will start to understand the title better now. Missy has once again decided to twist the storyline here, so it will be a while before the next update – I'm still feeling out the new storyline. Alex – the TT starts now…
Written: August 2012
Word Count: 3,154
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Ziva arrived at work the following morning, insistent on making it clear that she was okay. She stepped into the bullpen and was relieved to find Tony not there. She settled at her desk, starting up her computer and going over the evidence of the case, releasing a deep felt sigh.
McGee arrived with his backpack slung over his shoulder moments before Gibbs entered the bullpen form the other side. 'Don't get too comfortable.' Gibbs spoke up as the Tim made to place his bag on the ground.
'Boss,' Tim said looking towards him.
Gibbs looked at Ziva, tilting his head slightly, before returning his attention to McGee, 'Take Ziva and bring in the brother in law.'
'Where's Tony?' McGee was quick to ask, 'I have financials to do, can't he…' Tim left the rest unsaid as Gibbs fixed him with a glare, before continuing sheepishly, 'but they can wait.'
'Tony has a psyche-eval to pass before he's allowed in the field.' Gibbs said before picking up his phone.
McGee nodded his head as Ziva rose from her chair, grabbing to take her backpack. On righting herself her gaze locked with Gibbs's, she spoke up decorously, 'I'm fine, Gibbs.' then followed Tim out the squad room.
Gibbs made his way to the morgue, picking up a Caf-Pow for Abby along the way. Knowing she would most likely have something for him already.
He entered the morgue, 'Heya Doc.'
'Jethro, if you are here in hope of any additional findings, I'm afraid you've come knocking at wrong door, Miss Sciuto is more likely to have something for you.' Ducky started, turning from his desk.
'Not here about the case Duck.' Gibbs replied, stepping further into the morgue.
'Ah yes, yesterday's incident. How is Ziva this morning?' Ducky asked nodding his head slightly.
'Distant.' Gibbs replied coming to a halt at Ducky's desk.
'Ah yes, behavioural training, it has always been her failsafe.'
'I'm not sure if it is such a good failsafe in her case.' Gibbs replied taking the seat nearby.
'They need time,' Ducky started seriously, 'time to realize that what the other did came from their long suppressed desires. Presently they are hurting, and we know that when the heart is involved the mind does not always think clearly.' Ducky concluded looking pointedly at Gibbs.
'Yeah, but what do I do with them in the meantime Duck? It's not like it's going to be plain sailing 'till they've reached that point.'
'The only logical thing there is to do,' Ducky earnestly spoke up. 'You separate them.' Gibbs looked at Ducky in surprise, before Ducky continued. 'We both know they cannot function without the other for any extended period of time. Therefore, the most logical thing to do is to remind them of that.'
'It's a thought Duck, but which one do I move?'
'Speak to Director Vance; there should be some case Tony could be assigned to that would remove him from the team for a period of time.' Ducky started then noted Gibbs's reluctance, 'I would not suggest Ziva, she has proven in the past that she has a tendency to throw caution to the wind when emotionally strained, Tony remains cautious, his sense of self-preservation prevents him for doing anything too foolish.' Gibbs just lifted a brow at that, 'Well that is if the matter does not involve Ziva in some way.' Ducky added as an afterthought.
'He's barely recovered from the last mission. And he still has to pass his psyche-eval.' Gibbs reasoned.
'Tony can talk his way around those better than the both of us combined could.' Ducky started,' my guess is he'll be back on the team and out in the field in a matter of days. I don't see anything holding him back. Like you, he tends to bury his problems in his work, however this time it could end up causing problems.'
'That's for sure, I'll speak to Vance.' Gibbs said getting up to leave. 'I just hope they sort it out soon enough.' Gibbs said as he left.
Tony stepped off the elevator, drawing in a deep breath as he walked towards the bullpen, letting it out in relief when he noticed that Ziva was not there. However felt a small twinge in his chest, he wanted to see her, had hoped to see her, he would even go as far as saying he needed to see her. The previous week had been a continuous succession of sessions, with restrictions. The therapist had refused to clear him for work, not even paper work, possibly because he would not have heeded the restriction anyway. He had missed the team the past week, missed their company, but most of all he had missed her – her smile, her voice, her laugh, her smell… but most of all her presence in his life. He continued past the bullpen and went up the stairs to Vance's office. Lydia nodding her head to indicate that he could proceed through the door.
Tony entered the Director's Office and took the seat indicated, waiting for Director Vance to conclude his call.
'Agent DiNozzo.' Director Vance spoke up in greeting as he returned the phone to its cradle.
'Director Vance.' Tony replied in acknowledgement.
Leon picked up Tony's file that was lying before him on his desk and glanced over it. 'You will be moving teams.' The director started, and Tony felt his heart drop to his shoes, he had known what the price would be, had even been willing to take it. However, he had hoped that Gibbs would at least have had the guts to tell him himself. A cold bolt of shock shot straight through him, causing his lungs to stop functioning, he swallowed several times to try to encourage his body to function normally. 'The move is temporary,' Vance continued 'pending the outcome of the investigation.'
Tony nodded his head at that, finally managing to get some air into his lungs.
'There is an undercover operation currently under way in California.' At the words, Tony felt his heart drop once again. California was as good as half way around the world for all it mattered, even two floors down in the lab with Abby would have been too far from her. Vance started once again 'Agent Lang has requested additional backup, as both Agents Callen and Hanna are too well known to the suspects to go under cover with Agent Blye. Therefore you will be going undercover with her.'
'And Gibbs?' Tony calmly asked.
'I have cleared it with Gibbs, he agreed to it.' Vance surely replied.
Tony pursed his lips and nodded his head in acceptance.
'You'll be leaving this afternoon. You can pickup your travelling arrangements with my secretary. Take only essentials. Hetty will brief you on landing.' Vance concluded, closing the file in front of him, then rose with Tony to see him out.
Tony stepped onto the walkway, halting at the rail he looked down over the squad room, his gaze immediately moving towards Ziva's desk. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her there, busy working on her computer. He longed to go down to her, to hug her, to just to be close to her again. He gripped the rail tightly, the whites of his knuckles showing. No! No I will not go to her. She lied to me. He adamantly resolved. I gave it all, my heart, my affection and she did not even have the decency to tell me that she was still involved with Ray. I would have backed off, when have I ever not backed off or put her needs first. God it was hard at times to push her away, but it was for the best. I need her. I've always needed her. She… just… ugh… why couldn't this be simpler? But no, Ziva has to have this uncanny ability to creep under my skin, to take possession of my heart, to make me feel things… things I shouldn't be feeling. And yet I want to feel them, want to share them with her, I want to go back to before Ray returned – we had it all.
Looking down at her, he released a tired, mournful sigh. His body was weary, his couch not having offered him the solace he needed in sleep, but his bed was out of the question. Too many images assailed him there. The sheets, the room felt cold without her there. The memories of the pleasure they had shared there rendered sleep unattainable. He has lost count of the amount of times in the last week he has tried to numb the pain he felt, but even corpus amounts of alcohol could not anaesthetize the sense of pain of loss he felt…
Maybe he needed some time away from her, some time to get over this… whatever it really was.
He watched as she lifted her head, her gaze turning and lifting before it came to rest on him. For a moment, he believed he could see some dejection in her demeanour, but then took a deep breath before steeling himself, and making for the elevator – he would go see Abby instead.
Two days later, Ziva was sitting at her desk when Abby reticently entered the bullpen with a box in hand. They had closed their case, and Ziva and McGee wrapping up their paperwork, when Ziva shifted her gaze from the computer screen to the scientist who had stepped behind Tony's desk. Abby placed the box on the desktop and pulled open the first drawer.
'Abby, what are you doing?' Ziva demanded, her voice firm at first but faltering towards the end hen she saw Abby extract something from the drawer, her heart started racing at the implication, a nauseous felling settling in the pit of her stomach.
'Tony asked me to clear out his desk.' Abby nervously replied, unwilling to meet Ziva's gaze. Abby looked about nervously, her gaze moving to Gibbs's empty desk.
'Why would he do that?' Ziva quickly demanded, swallowing against the bile that suddenly seemed to creep into her throat.
'He's been posted to California,' Abby tensely replied, 'didn't he tell you?'
'No. I have not spoken or seen Tony for nearly two weeks. He did not told me that he has been transferred.' Ziva said rising from her chair, her stomach feeling queasy at that. A strong and sudden nauseous sensation overcame her, causing her to swallow repeatedly. A firm, relentless squeezing sensation settled over her heart, and her breathing became shallow. No! He cannot leave me here, I am his partner.
'Ziva, you okay? You look ill.' Abby's choice came from a distance, causing Ziva to look at her, watching in slow motion as the goth made her way around Tony's desk. Incapable of containing the nauseous sensation that overcame her, Ziva bolted in the direction of the bathroom, barely making it to the lavatory before parting with what little food she had managed to eat that morning.
Both sleep and food had been the least of her concerns the last two weeks, she had eaten when she had remembered to. Her body was beat, sore. Her heart suddenly felt shattered. She had hoped that they could resolve what had happened, even if they could only settle as only partners. She would willingly to settle for anything, as long as he was in her life. She told herself to be thankful for the little bit that she had had, because it had been more than she had ever thought she would have. She had dreamed of it, and more, but never thought any of it would actually transpire. She took a few deep breaths before rinsing out her mouth and splashing her face with cold water.
When she returned to the bullpen, she realized that she must have lost track of time, because Abby had already packed up his desk. His computer and the equipment remained there but all of his personal effects had been removed. She moved behind her desk, repeatedly swallowing against the bile that persistently rose from her stomach. She tried not to look in the direction of his desk as she moved behind her own, only for her gaze to land on a mall pile of effects Abby must have placed on her desk. Ziva quickly brushed her hand over it, scattering the photos; then shook her head before gathering everything up and dropping it all in one of her drawers. Once done she forcefully sat down, dropping her head into her palms and breathing deeply, counting her breaths before lifting her head and clasping her hands into fists, trying to contain the scream, how could he?
A month passed, excruciatingly slowly, in which no one mentioned dared to mention Tony, at least not in Ziva's presence. She refrained from looking towards his desk, as best she could. No one had placed anything on it since Abby had cleared it, and no mention was made regarding his replacement.
She knew Abby would have contact with him, had even on occasion been tempted to ask Abby how he was doing, where he was, or if he was okay, however she fought the urge.
Abby stepped into the bullpen one morning, just before mid day, and halted in front of Gibbs's desk. 'I'm ready, you coming?' She chirped up. Ziva watched as Gibbs lifted his gaze to her, 'You go Abbs, you don't need me.' Gibbs deadpanned before returning his attention to the folder he was reading.
'But,' Abby started. Her utterance cased him to glance up at her for a moment, before he nonchalantly added, 'Take Ziva with you.'
Ziva could feel the frown forming on her forehead at that, and watched as Abby started signing something, immediately becoming irritated. She hated it when they did that, because she could not understand it, and in all likelihood knew they were discussing her.
Abby finally smiled and nodded her head before turning to Ziva, 'Okay Ziva, come on.'
'Where are we going?' Ziva asked as she rose from her seat.
'MTAC.' Abby answered, already making for the stairs.
Ziva followed her, even more confused than she had been. Why would Gibbs not need to go to MTAC?
They entered MTAC, and Ziva followed Abby down the walkway, nodding her head to the technicians in greeting.
'What are we doing?' Ziva asked as Abby came to a standstill before the big screens.
'I was sent some samples for analysis, I now have to report my findings.' Abby cheerfully replied, causing Ziva to nod her head in response. Abby then indicated to the one technician to open up the channel, and Ziva turned to look at the image of a middling brunette woman that appeared on the screen.
'Agent Blye.' Abby greeted the woman, who nodded her head in acknowledgement before speaking up, 'Miss Sciuto.'
'I have the test results -' Abby started, only to be interrupted by a familiar voice. 'Heya Abbs,' Tony said, suddenly appearing in the image next to Kenzi. Ziva felt her heart literally flip in her chest at the sound of his voice, gasping slightly when she saw him. He seemed thinner than he had the last time she had seen him, his face seemed drawn, but she also knew that the equipment could cause that appearance. She saw him start for a moment before he nodding his head slightly in greeting, 'Ziva' his voice was level, controlled.
'Tony,' she politely replied, causing Abby to look towards her for a moment.
'How's things that side?' Abby asked, looking back at the two imaged on the screen.
'They're okay,' he returned nodding his head slightly, his eyes seeming fixed in the middle of the screen.
'Could we get on with it,' Kenzi impatiently spoke up, elbowing Tony slightly, causing him to break the trans-like stare he had. 'You can catch up with your buddies after.'
Ziva could feel her hands clenching into fists at the woman's action, I'm the only one allowed to reprimand him – other than Gibbs.
'I analysed the compound you sent me,' Abby started, 'it contained traces of aluminium and…' Abby's voice seemed to fade into the background as Ziva's gaze remained fixed on the screen in front of her, taking in the slightest of changes in him. His eyes lacked the animation they had always held when they spoke, his shoulders drooping slightly – the way they did when he was tired. She looked at the woman besides Tony, noted the ease with which she stood there, the ease with which she had reprimanded him. She also did not see him make any attempt to move from her, casing Ziva to once again swallow repeatedly. Hoping she was wrong. The woman was beautiful, in an esoteric way. She hoped that she was wrong, that he could not have moved on from her so quickly. That she at least meant more to him than that. She was pulled from her deliberation when Tony spoke up, answering Abby's question, 'She hogs the sheets and won't share.' His words sent a cold bolt of shock through Ziva's body, ad she fought hard not to stumble back and move from the screen.
'How long do you think you guys are still going to be out there?' Abby asked.
'Not for much longer, I hope. I'll kill him if we don't close this case soon.' Kenzi decisively replied, for a moment easing Ziva's discontent. He's on assignment – undercover. However the thought gave her little comfort, her mind drifting to her on undercover op with him. The thought caused a squeezing sensation to settle over her heart once again. He wouldn't.
'It's not so bad,' Tony was quick to return, shrugging his shoulders. Ziva tried to read his body language, but the slightly grainy image made the nuisances difficult to spot.
'Yeah, like you pick anything up after your ass.' Kenzi retuned, bitingly, turning towards Tony with a glare.
'How long have you two been sharing?' Abby asked. Ziva remained silent, her gaze remained fixed on the screen.
'Too long.' Kensi bit back.
'Okay we have to go, there is another call coming in.' Abby said as the technician drew their attention, then cut the feed, the test pattern appearing on the screen.
Ziva followed Abby out of MTAC, unwilling to engage in conversation with the woman as they returned to their respective workspaces, Ziva was immediately relieved to find that Gibbs was no longer there, and that McGee had obviously gone out, leaving her on her own.
She needed a few moments on her on to come to terms with what she had learnt. Releasing a sigh, she sat down on her chair. Her hand instinctively moving down to her abdomen, before she looked down at it, I may not have gotten the entire dream, but at least I got part of it.
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Missy has been on a three-week long hiatus, so there's not much this month, I will post what is ready in the next week.
However, Jnr. is on stage for the next two weeks – every night – so don't hold your breath.
Provisional; Put It To Bed; The Kiss (new); As One Door; The Gift (new).