Disclaimer: I still don't own them.
06 There's No Second Chance
The sound of the alarm clock wakes Mark up, and he groans as he reaches for his bedside table to turn it off. He rolls over – as he does every morning – to pull Addison close to him, but his arm meets the mattress instead of Addison's warm body, and he opens his eyes with a yawn, propping himself up on his elbows to look around the room.
"Addie?"
She doesn't answer, and Mark sleepily gets up from the bed, walking towards the bathroom. "Addison? Are you in there?" He opens the door after knocking, but she's not inside, and he puts on his boxers before walking out of the room. She has a c-section scheduled today, but it's not until noon and she never goes to the hospital before she has to. And yes, he's well aware of the fact that knowing when she has her surgeries is another step towards becoming a textbook boyfriend, but he can't say he cares. Well, he does care. He'd rather eat his own arm than let anyone know he's "that guy" now. But no one knows, so he can live with it.
It's one of those little secrets he has. Normal men – men who aren't Mark Sloan – hide the fact that they flirt with other women when their girlfriends aren't around, or the fact that they wait until their girlfriends are asleep to roll away and sleep without having to cuddle with them. But not Mark Sloan. No. Addison – and everyone else, for that matter – knows Mark flirts with other women when she's not around. She also knows he isn't a fan of cuddling, because he told her so. Those aren't the kind of secrets Mark Sloan has to keep.
What Addison doesn't know is that he sometimes watches her sleep, because he still can't believe he's lucky enough to be able to do it. She also doesn't know that he loves it when she snuggles into him while he's watching a game, even though he groans and tells her she's annoying the hell out of him. Addison doesn't know that he sometimes wishes they'd take their time with the foreplay and the cuddling, because – as much as he likes what they do – it always feels as if they don't have time. It feels like an affair, and he thinks they deserve more. But he knows better than to push it. She needs time, and he'll give it to her.
"Morning."
Mark smiles relieved when he sees her sitting at the kitchen table. He knows it's ridiculous to freak out every time she's not there when he wakes up, but he really can't help it. She's still married, after all, and he keeps waiting – against his will – for Derek to come back and ask her for another try, or for Addison to find out where he is and leave him to ask Derek for a second chance. Mark has never been an insecure guy. He gets every single woman he wants. But, with Addison, he's not so sure he actually got her. She said it herself, Derek has a part of her, and Mark doesn't know how important that part is.
"Hey." And he kisses the top of her head before pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Why are you up so early?" She shrugs slightly, fingering the glass of water on the table. "I was sick. Must have been the shrimps." Mark takes a sip of his coffee and puts his hand on his forehead, frowning slightly in concentration. "I ate shrimps too, and I'm fine. What are the symptoms?" Addison lets out a small chuckle and smiles up at him. "Vomiting and dizziness, Dr. Sloan. I think I'll live."
"You better. We have a date tonight." She smiles and takes a sip of her water before replying. "Right. A real date with food and wine, I'm excited." He kisses her softly and smirks when he pulls away. "You should be. I'll even feel you up to make it feel more like a real date." She laughs and playfully pushes him away, standing up to emphasize her point. "You're nasty." Mark grabs her around her waist when he walks past him and pulls her down on his lap, earning one of those girly squeals he likes so much but she almost never lets out. "I may be nasty, but you still love me, don't you?"
Addison doesn't answer, but she kisses him instead, and when her tongue traces his lower lip, he chooses to take it as a yes. That's another thing he's noticed about her. She doesn't say she loves him. She answers with a "you too" when he tells her he loves her, and she always replaces the three words with a warm smile and a soft kiss, so he doesn't complain. It would be nice to hear her say it, but he knows she's not ready. And, after their fight a few nights ago, he's not going to push it. He's taking things one day at a time.
And today is a very good day.
Because today he's taking her out on their first official date. A real date. Not a friendly dinner, or a walk to the nearest deli to buy some sandwiches to eat at home. A real date. With the nice clothes, nice wine and the best restaurant in Manhattan. The one she loves. He made the reservations two weeks ago – it normally takes months to get a table, but he's Dr. Sloan and he's practically built the manager's body from scratch – and he hopes she'll appreciate the gesture. Because, really, he wants to show her he can be a gentleman if he wants to.
But, right now, when she's kissing him in a way that lets him know they'll definitely be late for work if he plays his cards well, he figures it's not really the best moment to be a gentleman. And, let's face it, with the way she's pressing herself against him, he barely remembers his name, let alone the rules he's supposed to follow to be considered a gentleman. And so, he slides his hands under the shirt she's wearing, smiling against her lips when his hands find her breasts and she lets out a small sigh.
Addison's hands travel down his chest and stomach and her fingertips slide under the waistband of his boxers, and Mark is half-way through pulling off her shirt when she suddenly pulls away and gets off him, running towards their bedroom. After a moment of confussion, Mark goes after her and frowns when he sees her kneeling beside the toilet. He holds her hair back until she finishes, and helps her up when she's done, handing her her toothbrush and a towel. "Are you all right?" Addison nods and waits while he puts toothpaste on her toothbrush. "Do you want me to call the hospital? Tell them you need the day off?" Addison shakes her head. "I don't need the day off, I'm fine. I don't have a fever, it must be something I ate."
Mark isn't too convinced, but he knows how she is when she's sick, so he decides to humor her and pretend he believes her. "Ok, if you're sure. He looks at his watch and turns on the shower, smirking at her. "I have to get ready. Wanna join me?" But Addison shoots him a disgusted glare, the toothbrush still in her mouth, and he takes it as a noo. "Forget I asked." And she finishes brushing her teeth and leaves the bathroom when he takes off his boxers.
That's yet another thing that worries him a bit sometimes.How they still knock begorewalking into a room, and they never change in front of each oher. Not that they haven't been naked around each other plenty of times. But only before, during or after sex. Not while they're getting changed, or taking a shower. Unless they're showering together, that is. It's yet another small detail that makes him feel like they're not getting the whole relationship package. And, as much as he hates it when it happens, those small details always bring her marital status – and her husband – into his mind.
It's funny how Derek is now "her husband" in his mind. At first, he was Derek, that annoyingly geeky kid that always followed him around in the playground. And then he became Derek, his best friend. And, eventually, Derek, his brother. Years later, Addison, Derek's crush, came into the picture. And then they were his brother Derek and Addison, his girlfriend. Soon they became his brother Derek and Addison, his wife. And some years later, they were his brother Derek and just Addison. Addison. Because there were no words to describe what she was to Mark. Addison, his other best friend? His inappropriate crush? The only woman he ever loved? Just Addison. And now, they're Addison – his Addison, when no one can hear him – and her husband.
And Addison – just Addison – arrives at the hospital a few hours later, her stomach finally settled and her face fresh-looking as ever thanks for an expertly applied layer of make-up. "Must have been the shrimps." Because, let's face it, after years of living on take-out and leftovers, she's pretty sure there's nothing in the world that would be able to upset Mark's stomach. So him feeling all right proves nothing when it comes to the shrimps being edible or not.
She walks into her office to change into her scrubs, and she's just opened her locker when the door opens after a knock and she hears a familiar voice behind her. "Are all the surgeons around here this hot? Because I may have to ask for a job." She chuckles as she turns around to face Mark and his famous smirk, eyeing her appreciatively and leaning against the doorframe. "What are you doing here? Didn't you have a surgery?"
"As of half an hour ago, there's a new set of perfect boobs in Manhattan."
She chuckles again and he closes the distance between them, placing his hands on her hips when he reaches her. "I knew you had a surgery, so I thought I'd stop by and wish you good luck." He says it like only he can do it, mixing the sweet words with a dirty smirk that makes the whole thing deliciously not sappy. Just like everything about him. "Did you bring cocoa?" He tries not to laugh at her raised eyebrow and obviously fake stern voice. "I brought myself. I'm better than chocolate." And she pretends to ponder the truth in those words before speaking again. "Well, chocolate triggers the release of endorphins." He lets out a chuckle, his breath tickling her skin. "You know what else triggers the release of endorphins?" And Addison shakes her head, even though she knows what he's going to say.
"Hot sex."
And, because it's true – and also because his body is pressing hers against her locker and his tongue has just slid between her lips – she decides Mark is definitely better than chocolate and lets him lift up her skirt and slide his hands up her thighs. She smiles against his lips when he discovers she's wearing stockings and lets out an appreciative groan, and her fingers move to his waist, fiddling with his belt, impatient to free him from his pants.
"Dr. Montgomery, Mrs. Wallace is ready to... oh."
And the two surgeons turn around to see the young intern frozen mid-sentence, mouth slightly open as she looks from her boss to the sexy surgeon from last month, her cheeks turning redder by the second. "I'll be right there, Dr. Martin." Addison's voice – surprisingly normal-sounding considering the far from normal situation – makes the intern snap out of it, and she mumbles an apology before hurrying out of the office, shutting the door on her way out.
"You didn't close the door!?"
Mark keeps laughing even after she smacks his arm. "It's not funny, Mark. That inter is friends with the nurses. The whole city will know about this by the end of the day." He's still laughing, and Addison squirms away from him, straightening her clothes. "Get out. I need to go back to work." And Mark glances down for a second before speaking again. "I'm gonna need a second to... calm down." It's Addison's turn to laugh now, but Mark frowns at her, trying to make her stop. "Don't laugh. It's the second time today. This is just unhealthy." Addison grabs her scrubs from her locker and smiles at the pitiful look on his face. "Eyes on the prize, Sloan. We have a date tonight."
And he's smiling when she leaves him with a wink.
Addison meets Savvy at the cafeteria a few hours later, after a successful surgery and ready for their daily lunch date. She sits down next to her friend, and Savvy takes a sip of her water before looking around them. "Why is everyone staring?" Addison shrugs and pokes her salad with the plastic fork, feeling her stomach complain again. "An intern caught me with Mark today." Savvy laughs and shakes her head. "Oh, so that smell is the bitter scent of pure, undiluted envy. Nice."
The two friends keep laughing for a while – Savvy pointing out one of the nurses looked green sent Addison into a second fit of giggles – and Addison manages to calm down before speaking again. "So, how's the baby-making going?" Savvy and Weiss have decided to start their family, and Addison can barely control her excitement. Good people deserve good things, and Savvy and Weiss are definitely the best people she knows.
"Still no luck. I think we should try monitoring my cycle. How does that work, anyway?" Addison gives her friend a very detailed speech about the science behind period math, but Savvy interrupts her when she starts talking about hormones with unpronounceable names. "I don't speak doctor, Addie. Try again in English." Addison chuckles and apologizes before trying again. "Ok, let's take me, for example. To know when I'm ovulating, I take the date of my last period, which was..."
"Oh, my God."
Savvy looks at her in confusion for a moment before everything clicks in her head. "My God, Addie, are you..." But Addison stands up, looking like she's about to have a heart attack. "I don't know! I... I don't know. I have to go. I'll call you later." And Addison walks away before Savvy can say anything else.
An hour later, Addison sits at her desk, trying to calm down. But it's hard when there are four pregnancy tests – four positive pregnancy tests – in her purse. And she doesn't know what to do. After almost an hour of intense thinking, she only has one plan: have an abortion, don't tell Mark. And she hates that plan. But every time she tries to come up with a plan B, her mind goes back to square one. Have an abortion, don't tell Mark.
She's going insane, and so she decides to do the only thing that makes her mind focus when she's having one of her flip outs. Working. And she buries herself under a mountain of paperwork and a long line of surgeries that will keep her focused for as many hours as she needs.
She walks into the apartment at four in the morning, exhausted but relaxed, and still without a plan B. She gasps, startled, when she sees Mark sitting on the couch, staring at the silent tv in front of him. "Hey, why are you up so late?" Mark looks at her, and the icy glare he shoots her makes her hesitate before walking towards him. "I called you a million times, but I got the voicemail every single time. I went to the hospital, but they told me you were busy. So I went home to get ready for the date, but you never came. I was just waiting for you to get here and explain what the hell happened today."
"Oh."
The date. She hadn't even thought about it. "I'm sorry, Mark. I had surgeries." Mark stands up, his jaw clenched, and it's obvious that he's making an effort to stay calm. "You delivered seven babies tonight. Seven regular c-sections. Seven surgeries that would normally be handled by residents, not by the head of neonatal. Try again, Addison." She sighs before talking again, knowing she's messed up. "I forgot about the date. I'm sorry." And his voice is even colder than his eyes when he speaks again. "You never stay at the hospital without a reason. You don't spend the night in the OR unless you have to. That's not you. What the hell is going on, Addison?" And she knows he's right, so she does the only thing she knows how to do when someone corners her. She fights back.
"I've already told you I'm sorry, Mark! Stop whining as if you were my neglected wife!" If Mark was having trouble controling his voice, hearing her yell at him makes him decide to not even try anymore. "Well, you're acting like your fucking absent husband, so you tell me how else I'm supposed to act!" And he's gone too far yet again, but he doesn't care. As far as he is concerned, right this moment, she deserves it. "Do you want to know what's wrong, Mark? Do you!?" And he barks a "yes" while she opens her purse and throws four small boxes at him, with enough force to make a small "ow" escape his lips. It takes him a moment to figure it out, and then he looks from the boxes to her. He doesn't say a thing, and she knows plan A is already screwed, so she decides there's no point on being subtle anymore.
"I'm pregnant."