A/N: Hey guys. I'm back. I really apologize it took me so long, over 2 years I believe, to update. (I blame moving across the country, going over a year without a computer and getting married.) I promise not to let it happen again. I just wanted to point out that I have upped the rating to M , just to be safe. They don't have sex, but it does get pretty intense and mildly graphic. I'd be ok with it as a Teen rating, but I though I'd protect other people whose sensibilities are more sensible than mine. I hope it was worth the wait.
Michael's POV, Not in Diary Form:
She's taking a long time in the bathroom. I pace, waiting for her to open the door. I fiddle with the pillows, arranging and rearranging them while, from the bathroom, I hear the faucet running on and off. I take off then put back on the blankets, attempting to arrange the bed into something both comfortable and inviting.
Finally I just sit on the end of the bed, waiting. The door opens slowly, hesitatingly. Mia pokes her head around the door, hiding the rest of her body. I try to smile encouragingly. She walks into the bedroom. I was right. Those shorts look fantastic on her. Her legs- Wow. She has great legs.
I open my arms and motion for her to give me a hug. She fits perfectly in my arms, even with me sitting and her standing. Her head is a few inches taller than mine. I pull her down for a kiss, then I wrap my arms tight around her waist and she hugs my neck.
"Hi," she says shyly and muffled.
"Mia you look gorgeous." I pull away so she can see the honesty in my face.
"You don't look too bad yourself," she replies with a grin, eyeing my chest as she slowly takes a step back.
I feel my face begin to flush as she devours me with her eyes.
"Mia, you're staring." She puts her hands out and slowly places them on my chest. I shudder in pleasure at the sensation.
"You are not wearing a shirt," she says.
"No I'm not. But you are. Don't you think that's a little unfair?" 'You should take off your shirt.' I plead silently with my eyes, wishing, hoping, but not truly expecting her to do it. But she surprises me.
"Come here." She takes my hand and pulls me to the front of the bed. She turns out the light. Slowly my eyes adjust to the near total darkness. The light coming through the curtains allows me to see something I never thought I would see, at least not for a long time. Mia is taking off her shirt. For some reason I thought she would be more nervous about this, but she is taking off her shirt. Well she did turn out the lights.
Even in the dark I can see her two perfect breasts, still swathed in her bra. Because it's dark, I can't tell the color, but it's definitely lacy. I fight against my desire to reach out and touch.
"Michael, you're staring." I jerk my eyes up to Mia's face, which I can barely make out. I can hear the uncertainty in her voice underneath the flirting tone, silently asking me 'What do we do next?'
"Sorry, but Mia. You're just so...amazing." I cup the back of her head and gently stroke her cheek with my thumb before pulling her in for a kiss. I try to keep it slow and gentle, to ease her into things, but Mia has other ideas. She steps closer to me, pressing herself against me as if trying to force our bodies to occupy the same space. Her tongue flicks against my lips cautiously at first, then with more confidence. Mia usually never initiates tongue kissing, although she's always very receptive to my tongue. I am pleasantly surprised by her forwardness and almost instantly I feel myself being to harden. Tonight is going to be a long night, especially if things continue to go this quickly.
I try to pull away; I had wanted to take things slowly tonight. But Mia just tightens her arms around me attempting to hold me closer. Somehow, in the ensuing struggle, I lose my balance and we topple onto the bed. Amazingly, this doesn't ruin the moment but makes it better. We somehow end up wrestling and tickling each other. I laugh as we tumble around the bed, taking turns being on top. Mia pins me and attempts to tickle me in submission. I laugh until my eyes water and my sides hurt. When I finally catch my breath, Mia is sitting on top of me, straddling me. There is an odd expression on her face.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing," she says, suddenly shy.
"Tell Me." I demand.
"It's nothing."
I move swiftly, flipping us over and pinning Mia's hands to the bed.
"Tell Me." I growl, more insistently as I look into her eyes.
She looks away as she finally relents.
"It's just...I love you so much, and..." she trails off, unwilling to actually finish the sentence, but the words are echoing through the room anyway.
I'm leaving her.
"Aw babe. I love you too. So much. Never forget that."
I relax my hold on her wrists as I lean down and kiss her, trying to express my love for her with nothing more than the movement of my lips on hers. For seconds, minutes, possibly hours we stay that way, kissing. Gently, sincerely, fervently kissing. Somehow our heads return to the top of the bed, where amazingly our pillows have remained. It feels great to let go of all the world's worries-
I'm Leaving Her!
Let go of time, space and just hold on to Mia. Her face, her body, her everything. When I close my eyes, everything else slips away. I feel 10 times smaller and at the same time infinitely larger. Like the only things in the entire world that matter, that even exist are right here, right now, me and her- our bodies pressing against each other and our lips, moving softly, giving, taking, caressing, asking, demanding.
After who knows how long I pull away just to remind myself what she looks like, that she's really there. She sighs in contentment and snuggles her face into my neck. She takes a deep breath making a small noise of pleasure as she smells my neck. I hold her tighter as we savor what could be our last relaxing moment together.
I'M LEAVING HER!
Her hands tighten, one hand fisting my hair, the other holding onto my shoulder. Her lips close over the neck she was just smelling, teasing, playfully biting, sucking. In an instant, the moment intensifies and we are both electrified by the fear of what will and won't happen tomorrow, and the desperate passion of the Right Now!
Our lips find each other, and we kiss with a fierceness that is different than the gentle searching kisses of before. This time we know what we are looking for and we each try to take it. I grab her face in my hand as I shove my tongue in her mouth. She pushes back by grabbing my head in both hands and tangling her fingers in my hair as she wraps her tongue around mine. I love feeling her hands in my hair leading and guiding my head as my mouth, my tongue plays with hers.
I leave one hand holding her head and the other, almost of its own volition begins to explore her body. I trail my fingers down her neck and cup her breast.. I've touched Mia's breasts before, but I have never gotten the chance to fully explore them. I suppress the urge to look over my shoulder for Lars. Tonight Mia is all mine and no one is going to interrupt us. I squeeze my hand and massage her breast. When my thumb grazes her nipple, she gasps—in pleasure I hope. I pull my hand away.
"Michael?" The uncertainty in her tone is colored by wonder and frustration.
"Hmm?" I ask as I internally debate touching her boobs again.
"Why did I never know how good that feels?"
"Maybe because I've never gotten the chance to touch you without being interrupted." At her words of approval, I put my hand back on her left breast and use my other hand to push down her bra strap. I gently pull her bra down below her breasts. In the dim light I sit up and survey the breasts I have revealed. Although they are not huge, they are tight and firm- Perky one would say. I think they are perfect.
"Mia, if you want me to stop, just say—"
"No. Don't stop, I want to experience as much as I can with you.
I lean down to kiss her sweetly on the lips, then her neck.
"Michael! What are you doing?" She says, half laughing, half exasperated.
"Ssshh. I'm exploring.
"Are you sure—"
You said you wanted to experience as much as you can," I say as I lick my way around her breast. As my tongue flicks against her nipple she makes a noise of distress, assent and pleasure as if she can't decide how she feels. I put her nipple in my mouth and gently suck. Definitely a sound of pleasure. I suck a little harder and gently bite before pulling away.
"You do not know how long I have been wanting to do this Mia. Your breasts are amazing. But I don't want us to get too crazy. If you think I should stop—"
"No!" She gasps, short of breath. "More!"
I return my mouth to her breasts and continue to make a full exploration of them. I kiss and lick and suck and bite. With my fingers I pinch and tickle. It is fun to see what brings Mia the most pleasure. When I am finished, I leave one hand cupped loosely on her breast and seek her mouth with mine. She is still slightly out of breath as she snuggles into my embrace. I wrap my warms around her and end up with both hands on her breasts. We lie that way for a long time. I can feel myself falling asleep. I could definitely get used to falling asleep every night with my girl in my arms. I push away the thought that this might be the only night I ever have with her and hold her closer.
"Michael!" I am snatched away from the edge of sleep by Mia's sudden movement.
"Hmm?" I mumble incoherently as she twists in my arms and looks at me.
"Wake Up, Michael!"
"I'm awake! What's up?"
"…Hi!" She squirms against me and gives me a hug. Even half asleep, I can she's working up the courage to ask me something. Knowing Mia, she's probably been thinking about it for a while.
"Hey Mia."
"I love you."
"I love you too. So…what's up?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?" I try to put all the disbelief I am feeling in that one word.
"It's just…"
"It's just what?"
"."
"What?"
"I just, well you got to see my boobs, so it would only be fair for me to explore your penis because I was just really curious and I wanted to see your penis, because I really have been wondering about it. How big is it? What does it feel like? Is it awesome? Is it scary? What's it like?"
Mia's words are almost white noise to me as heat rushes through me at the idea of Mia thoroughly examining my penis. I feel nervous and excited at the same time, but mostly I feel aroused. Very, very aroused. I tune back in as Mia trails off looking at me expectantly and I struggle to remember the question she just asked me.
"Yes. Yes. Whatever you want, yes."
"Are you sure?" She's asking me, but I can tell she's really asking herself.
"I am sure, but it's totally up to you. If you don't want to—"
"I want to, I just…just don't know what to do…"
I sit up and roll over to turn on the bedside lamp. We both flinch as our pupils react to the light. And, as my eyes adjust I can't help but staring at Mia's still uncovered breasts. They look even better when I can see them. As her eyes adjust, she notices I'm staring. She starts to blush and ineffectually attempts to cover her breasts with her arms. Interesting. The blush goes all the way down past her nipples. As I continue to stare she remembers her bra, which is still pushed down below her breasts (and pink!) and begins to pull it back on. I reach out and gently grab her wrist to stop her.
"Fair is fair."
She pauses, a very long pause and then slowly reaches behind her back and un hooks the bra, taking it off, then laying it aside. As she does that, I stand next to the bed and when Mia is ready, I slowly pull down my shorts and my underwear then climb back into bed. I sit with my back against the headboard and it takes a few moments to gather my courage and look at Mia's reaction.
She is sitting closer to the foot of the bed staring at me, at my erection, but she hasn't moved.
"Mia, Hey." She meets my eyes, still blushing. "Just do what you want. Anything you want."
She comes closer, looking back at my penis. She moves even closer still, her head getting dangerously, deliciously close as she leans down to stare, to inspect it.
"Does it meet with your approval?"
"It's very big."
"Thank You."
"I mean it's very thick. Thicker than I thought it would be."
"Thank You?"
"I mean, the length is nice too. It's just …so thick."
She inspects it for a while longer and I notice her hand moving closer, then moving away.
"Would you like to touch it?"
"Yes. But are you sure-"
"Yes!"
Very hesitatingly, she moves her hand towards me, first poking then stroking the edge. It should have been awkward, but the slow, curious tantalizing touch is incredible, Unlike anything I've ever felt.
"It's so soft, and yet really hard, she says as she haltingly wraps her hand around it, one finger at a time. "Now I understand why in romance novels, they call it a silk wrapped rod of steel."
She plays for a moment, massaging it, caressing it, then "Does this hurt?" she asks as she squeezes.
Now it's my turn to be short on breath. I fight my way through a lust-induced haze before I manage to shake my head.
"No, not at all."
"Does it feel good?"
"Very much so."
She lets go and traces the head with one finger. I shudder in pleasure.
Abruptly Mia pulls away. "Ok. Put it away."
"What's wrong? Don't you like him?"
"I like it. Him. He's just a little scary."
I laugh a little as I pull my shorts back on.
"Scary how?"
"Well it's there. All out in the open. If we wanted to, we could have sex right now. When it's there, everything is just so real. Someday you're going to be inside of me. And…" She trails off and the silence seems to drag on forever.
"You know you can tell me anything, Mia."
"It's just that—it's so big and it is going to fit inside of me one day, somehow. It's going to hurt. It's scary. Did you know that it takes an average of 8 times before sex is pleasurable for both partners? That's 8 times we're going to have bad, painful sex."
"It isn't all painful, Mia. It can feel really amazing too."
She looks at me with one eyebrow raised in skepticism.
"For you maybe. Guys always enjoy sex."
I sit back against the head board with my legs slightly spread and open my arms to motion Mia to come closer.
"Let me show you."
She crawls towards me hesitantly and first, then faster as she gains confidence. I sit her on my lap, her back flush with my chest and we snuggle against each other shifting around until we find a position that works for both of us. When we're settled, I squeeze my arms around her and give her a big bear hug.
"I love you, Mia."
"I love you too."
As she's speaking, I move her head and pull her lips towards mine. It's a little awkward at first, until we get the angles right. I keep kissing her as my hands move down to cup her breasts. I massage and play with her breasts for a while, pinching and tugging on her nipples. Then, still maintaining contact with her lips, I keep my left hand on her right breast, flicking and tickling her nipple, while I move my right hand down her side. I shift a bit so I can reach, then move my hand between her legs. I make sure to stay over her shorts; I don't know that I would be able to control myself if I got underneath them.
Mia stiffens at the touch, then lets out a moan of pleasure. She raises her hips into my hand, seeking more. I love that I'm making her feel this way. I'm the only person who has ever pleasured her this way. It makes me feel powerful, besides being incredibly sexy and intimate. I lose myself to the sensation, moving one hand between her legs, the other over her breasts, all the while never breaking the kiss. Mia is writhing beneath my hands and whimpering into my mouth. I'm not one hundred percent sure how much time has passed, but things are starting to get out of hand. All I want to do is flip Mia onto her back, rip off her shorts and have my way with her. Judging by her current state, I don't think she would object very much. I can't let this happen.
I reluctantly move both my hands to grip Mia into a tight hug as I break off the kiss and press my face into the side of her head, breathing heavily.
"See, it can feel amazing for girls too."
"Oh. Yes." replied Mia in a dazed voice. She was also breathing heavily.
I shifted us lower on the bed until I was lying on my back with my girlfriend draped across my chest. We lay in comfortable silence for a while as our breathing returned to a much steadier pace. I started listing prime numbers in my head until my erection went away. We aren't going to have sex tonight and I want to be able to fully enjoy falling asleep with my girl in my arms.
"Michael?"
"Hmm?"
"I really enjoyed tonight. ALL of it."
"I'm glad. Good Night Mia."
"Love You Michael."
"Love You Too."
"G'Night"
My girlfriend, I thought as I pressed a kiss against her temple. She wouldn't be my girlfriend for very much longer.
A/N: So there you have it. This was actually written in chunks in my email over the past 2 years. I'd write whenever I had a spare moment at work or on a friend's computer. So I apologize if it's choppy at all. I tried to make it as cohesive as possible. I really hope you like it. There will be around 3 more chapters and probably an epilogue. I hope to finish this story by the end of February.
Thanks for sticking with me!