The Dance You Choose - chapter 6

ooooooooooooooooooo

Kara woke early, feeling a warm body wrapped around her own. She stretched langorously and snuggled up a little closer, burying her face into his chest.

"Hmmm," she murmured. "John ..."

The body under her jumped suddenly and she came fully awake and opened her eyes, blinking in surprise.

"Lee?" she asked questioningly. "What are you doing in my bed?" She pulled back and wrapped her arms around herself protectively.

He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bunk, trying hard to keep the lump of jealousy forming in his heart from coming out in his words.

"You were having nightmares," he answered quietly, so as not to disturb Tessa. "You fell asleep in my arms and I didn't want to move lest I wake you."

"That's all? There's ... nothing more?" Her face was set, Starbuck style, but her eyes still held her inner vulnerability for Lee to see.

He wanted more than anything to proclaim his love for her - tell her yes, there was more, they'd been lovers at one time - but he couldn't lie to her. He shook his head.

"No, that's it. I was just trying to help you sleep."

"She nodded but was relieved from having to respond verbally as Tessa chose that moment to wake. She sat up and poked her head over the edge of the sheet.

"Ma-ma?" she said, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings as she searched for Kara.

"I'm here sweetie," Kara said, going over and lifting her out of bed. Tessa clung to her like she'd never let go. "It's okay, we're safe now. Nothing's going to hurt us here." She didn't know how she knew that, it was just a gut feeling.

It brought a smile to Lee's face though, to know that she trusted him implicitly. He excused himself to go to the washroom and get cleaned up and dressed, and when he returned, Tessa was already clothed in a clean dress and her hair was tied back in pigtails. He wondered idly where the child's clothing came from, but figured his father had probably pulled rank and requisitioned them from one of the civilian ships.

She and Kara were sitting on the floor, lost in some sort of game he was unfamiliar with, but when Kara realized he was watching them, she stopped and stood up.

"Would you ind watching her for a few minutes while I get ready?" She gestured towards the bathroom.

"I uh ... I guess," he stammered, but she'd already gone in and shut the door. Lee's spirits sank glumly; he'd had little to nothing to do with children and had always felt awkward around kids so young. Once they were old enough to ask intelligent questions he felt more at ease, but toddlers who couldn't even talk? Definitely something he wasn't ready to handle. When they cried and threw themselves on the floor in tantrums he was terrified and felt like just bolting and running away. He sent up a quick prayed that Tessa was flexible enough to deal with strangers.

He sat down on the floor in front of her and smiled, hoping that children, like animals, would be put at ease if you showed you weren't scared of them. He marveled again at just how much she looked like Kara. There was a look of fear in her eyes though, and for a moment Lee's heart began to pound, waiting for the wailing to begin. But then as he watched her, a look of interest replaced the fear and she began to smile. He wondered what it was on his chest that had caught her attention and when he looked down he saw what it was. His dogtags. His mind flew to Kara and he frowned, remembering she didn't have any on. A pang of jealousy shot through him as he thought of the one she'd given one to Sam, but where was the other one? Cylons must have taken it. They wouldn't have wanted her seeing it and wondering what it meant. She might have remembered who she was then. He sat very still, not wanting to spook her and slowly she crawled over to him and reached out to touch them. They spun around and caught the light and she squealed in delight, a huge smile lighting up her face.

Ten minutes later when Kara emerged from the bathroom, Tessa was still at it, crawling all over Lee and playing with the tags like they were the best toy in the world. Kara smiled.

"I see you've made a friend."

"It seems all girls like shiny things."

"Do I?" Kara asked suddenly, frowning.

Lee didn't even have to think about that one. "Jewelry was never your thing but you always loved your viper more than anything. Sometimes I think it was more important to you than anything else." He smiled warmly at her as a faint blush crept onto her freshly washed cheeks.

"Can I see it?" she asked shyly.

"Of course. I was thinking a thorough tour of the ship would be a good idea. Help your memory a little hopefully." His smile faded. "But we have to see the doc first."

She frowned. "Why?"

"Routine. You were gone for months and he's going to want to check you out and make sure you're okay - especially after what they did to you." His eyes darkened at the thought. "And of course he's going to want to see Tessa."

Kara pulled her daughter close.

"It's just routine Kara. She's a new crew member and she needs a full medical checkup like everyone else. " And she's half-cylon - that's something he's definitely going to need to check out! He put a bright smile on his face, hoping not to worry her, but it was difficult - he remembered what had happened to the last hybrid baby, Hera. It had died under suspicious circumstances and Lee had had a gut feeling, especially after talking to Helo later, that the death hadn't been accidental. Sharon was sure of it, but no one believed her. Not even Helo.

"Well, I'm ready, shall we go?" Kara said reaching for Tessa's hand and bending down slightly so the toddler could walk on her own.

Kara and Tessa's eyes were wide as they walked the corridors. There was so much to take in, and it was all like new for both of them. People they passed along the way smiled at Kara and the little girl by her side but threw curious looks at Lee.

"Why are they looking at you like that?" Kara wondered, giving him a sidelong look herself.

He shrugged. "I have no idea. Must be some gossip or other going around. There always is when you're in a position of authority."

She nodded, not quite understanding but not being bothered enough to pursue it.

Soon enough they arrived at Lifestation, where Cottle looked overjoyed to see them. Well, overjoyed for him. To his credit though, he put out his half-smoked cigarette as they came in.

"So, this is the new crew member huh?" he said. Tessa clung to Kara and buried her face in her leg.

"Perhaps you should do Captain Thrace first," Lee suggested.

Kara turned a shocked face to him. "I'm a Captain?"

"You'd probably be higher yet if you could learn to behave and follow the rules," Lee said, eyes twinkling.

"Amen to that," Cottle mumbled. "Now let's take a look and see what they did to you."

Tessa clung on and refused to let go but Lee tempted her with his dogtags again and she sat contentedly on his lap playing hide-and-seek with them in his uniform jacket. Kara's examination didn't take long fortunately, so she was done before Tessa had a chance to get bored of the game.

She was a little less cooperative about having the doctor poke and prod her, but it was when the needle came out that she suddenly started screaming. The doctor quickly jabbed her and within ten seconds she was unconscious.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Kara screamed, putting her arms around her daughter wildly.

"Calm down Captain, I just gave her a sedative. Children that age aren't terribly cooperative, and I can see it's going to be difficult enough to explain to you what I have to do. There's no way she'd understand. Perhaps you should go look around for a while a come back later. It might be easier if you're not here."

Kara's mind suddenly filled with images. A small, slender pregnant woman with long, dark hair, sitting across from her and talking ... a tall dark man hugging her and crying on her shoulder ... "our baby died, I can't believe she's gone" ... the dark-haired woman screaming madly ...

"No, I'm not leaving her," she said determinedly, knowing somehow that if she did, something bad would happen to Tessa. Lee put his hand on her back for comfort, knowing she was remembering something by the vacant look on her face. He had a pretty good idea of what it was - he'd been there when Helo had cried on Kara's shoulder. The two of them were close - had known each other back at the academy, and often trusted each other when they trusted no one else.

"Suit yourself." Cottle busied himself with syringes and bottles.

An hour later, Cottle seemed to be satisfied, and he pulled off his gloves. "It's going to take a few hours to do some blood analysis, and I'm going to need to read over your MRI as well and see if they messed with your head at all. Not," he added in an undertone, "that that would be a bad thing."

Lee turned to Kara. "Come on, let's get to that tour now."

"Tour?" Cottle asked questioningly.

"We plan to tour the ship. Maybe seeing all the old familiar places and things will help bring her memory back." Lee smiled at Kara.

"Can't but help," Cottle said gruffly. "Come back in a few hours. She should be awake then."

"I'm not leaving her." Kara's body stiffened.

"She needs to stay here, she's still unconscious," Cottle argued.

"I'm not leaving her here," Kara insisted, jaw set in the way most people knew meant you shouldn't argue with her.

"You can't carry her around the ship, you're too weak yourself."

"I'll carry her," Lee offered. "She'll be fine and we'll bring her back when she wakes up if you need to see her again."

""Fine," Cottle grumbled, turning his back on them. It was his way of ending the conversation.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They walked the corridors to the hangar bay, Lee feeling that seeing her ships would make Kara feel more at home, and perhaps remember more. They passed more people who acknowledged Lee but gave him strange looks. He began to wonder himself if perhaps there was something wrong.

The look on Kara's face however, when they finally reached the bay, drove all other thoughts from his mind. Her eyes were wide as saucers and they gleamed with an intensity he'd rarely seen before. She strode immediately over to 'her' ship and began to run her hand lovingly over it, smiling broadly.

"I've missed you," she whispered, as if she were talking to a long-lost lover. She moved closer and rested her cheek against the cool metal, eyes shutting as if she were remembering their love affair.

Lee smiled and hefted the little girl to the other side, her head curling into his neck naturally, just as her mother had snuggled up to him unconsciously. He felt something in that moment - something he'd never felt before; desire - desire to have a family. Watching Kara, feeling Tessa snuggling against him suddenly made him want more than anything to have them as his family. He wanted to love them, protect them, always be with them. His heart swelled larger than it ever had before - THIS was where he belonged. Wherever they were.

"Lee? Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you." Dee's voice pulled him suddenly out of his little dreamworld and made him hit reality with a hard thud. She walked over and pushed Tessa aside to put her arms around him.

As Kara opened her eyes to see what the commotion was all about, Dee threw herself at Lee and began to kiss him passionately.

Lee would have struggled but for the fact that both his arms were busy holding up the little girl fast asleep on him. He pulled back as quickly as he could and looked over at Kara, seeing the sudden hurt in her eyes at the woman attached to him.

"I missed you in bed last night," Dee cooed happily, tucking her head under Lee's chin right beside Tessa, though thoroughly ignoring her presence.

Lee threw Kara an apologetic glance just in time to see the tears glint in her eyes as she turned back to her ship, seemingly intent on inspecting every inch of it. His heart ached - she was hurting yet again. It seemed that whatever Lee did to help only ended up hurting her more.

He sighed. This day had started off so well - now it looked like things were going downhill fast.

TBC