The Twilight Twenty-Five
Prompt: WORRY
Pen name: SWEETP-1
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA
Rating: M
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight - I am just borrowing quotes and characters. I do however, own a piece of green sea glass that I found when I was ten.
Bella is 34.
The sand crunched beneath her feet, and Bella could feel the coarse grains scratching and shifting between her toes.
She pulled on Edward's hand, "Come on, let's go walk in the water for awhile."
He smiled as she ran from him towards the water. The cool, sea breeze blew her hair behind her in long wisps, and he could almost imagine what she must have looked like as a small child, running carefree on the beach.
When she reached the shallows, she kicked her feet up, laughing as the cold salty water splashed against her legs.
"Are you coming in?" Bella called to him as she danced, water flying up around her like a shower of sparks.
Edward laughed, and appeared next to her suddenly.
He kicked his own feet in her direction, and she squealed as the sprays of water covered almost her whole body. They traded splashes, insults and laughter for a few minutes before continuing their walk along the shoreline.
They wandered slowly, without purpose, stopping every now and then to pick up a pretty shell or polished rock. It was summer, and the day was warm even though the sky was overcast. Rainclouds loomed ominously on the horizon, scaring away all but the bravest of beach-goers. Bella and Edward were enjoying having the whole beach to themselves.
Bella stopped suddenly, a glint in the sand catching her eye. She reached down and retrieved a small piece of green sea glass, its surface blunt and worn, smoothed by the perpetual caresses of the ocean.
"Wow, it's so pretty," Bella exclaimed, as she held it in her hand. "You know, Dad used to have a whole collection of beach glass. When he used to go fishing off the coast at La Push, he'd often come home with a piece or two. He had a whole shoebox full of it."
Bella turned the small shard of glass over in her hand, admiring the different hues of green on its frosted surface.
"I haven't thought about that for years. He used to let me play with them, when I stayed with him for the holidays when I was just a girl. I used to line them up on the table, and sort them into colors."
She wondered how long it had been tossed and tumbled by the sea, before coming to rest on this beach. How long had it laid there, waiting for her to find it?
"They used to make Dr Pepper in bottles that color," Edward said, as he peered over her shoulder.
"Really?" Bella asked. "I didn't know that."
"A long time ago," Edward said softly.
"Oh, look, Edward. It sparkles!" Bella held the glass up to the sky, light refracting off the polished surface as it glistened and sparkled in her fingertips.
Edward grimaced as Bella held the glass above her. She was obviously enchanted by the way it had seemed to come to life in her hand. It looked as though it were almost animated as it flickered and flashed - like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in its surface. The parallels were obvious; he tried in vain to dismiss them, but he couldn't help looking at the glass in disdain.
"Mermaid's tears. That's what Dad used to call it. Beach glass - it's called mermaid's tears."
"There are no such things as mermaids, Bella," Edward laughed as he took her hand in his again, and started to walk.
"I used to believe there were no such thing as vampires, " Bella retorted as she put the piece of glass in her pocket to take home.
Just then, a huge dog bounded along the surf towards them. It looked as though it was going to come right up to them before it suddenly veered away, giving them a wide berth, and running past them.
Edward chuckled. Nothing to fear here, I can't stand the smell of dog, he smirked to himself.
Caught up in admiring her pretty find, Bella hadn't noticed a family approaching them from the other end of the beach. Quickly, she pulled her hand from Edward's, and smiled as they passed by, giving them a little wave.
As the woman walked past her, Bella noticed she was wearing some sort of baby carrier pack. On her back, a little baby was fast asleep, its soft chubby cheeks squished against its mother's back, a look of utter contentment as it dozed, oblivious to the world. Bella felt a familiar, unsettling pang in her chest. Everywhere she went lately, there seemed to be multitudes of pregnant women, tiny babies, families, children; like there was some sort of baby boom that included everyone around her.
Everyone except her.
Bella buried the thought as quickly as it appeared, but she couldn't help but glance back at the family wistfully.
The little girl that had walked past her a moment ago, with bucket in hand, sand colored water spilling over the side, was now being swooped through the air in her father's strong arms. He lifted her high above him, and settled her on his shoulders.
"Faster, Daddy! Faster!" Bella could hear her giggling as they ran along the water's edge to catch up to the dog that was waiting for them further up the beach.
"Since when do you not hold my hand in public anymore?" Edward asked suddenly. His question took her by surprise and she reluctantly averted her eyes from the happy family in front of her.
"Since I'm old enough to be your mother, Edward, that's when. It feels weird now, like it's wrong or something, " Bella muttered absentmindedly as she tried to ignore the sudden overwhelming yearning that threatened to take her breath away.
Bella's offhand comment stung like a slap in the face. Edward didn't say anything, not sure how to process what Bella had just said. He knew she was getting self-conscious about her age, but never did he think she would use the word wrong.
Of course, Edward knew that Bella was getting older with every birthday she refused to celebrate. She was no longer the skinny, naive teenager he fell in love with in high school. She was a woman now, her curves were more pronounced, everything was rounder, softer. Edward loved the sensuality of Bella's body; he loved to run his hands over the flare of her hips, the swell of her ass. He knew she hated the changes that time had imposed on her body, but he thought she was glorious - curvy, feminine, woman. 17-year-old Bella had been a sweet girl. 34-year-old Bella was a feisty and determined woman, with a grace and confidence that can only come with age and life experience.
Edward kicked at a pile of sand, thinking about how he had watched Bella change and grow over the years. With every passing minute, he had only found more things to love about her. He never really thought about how old she was, or how old he was, literally or figuratively. Age was irrelevant to him. He found it easier to face eternity when he wasn't constantly marking off time in infinitesimal increments.
Sometimes, he forgot that Bella had a different view on the passing of time.
"Do you really think that?" he asked her, studying her face, looking there for the answers as well.
"Think what?"
"That we're wrong."
"No, of course not," Bella said quickly, instantly regretting her choice of words . It wasn't so much that things were wrong now, just... awkward.
While she knew that on the inside, Edward was significantly older than she was, on the outside he still looked like a young man. A 17-year-old teenager. A boy.
Every time Bella looked in the mirror, and saw the time-ravaged reflection that greeted her, it only reinforced the ever-growing age gap between them. With every second, of every day, the chasm got larger.
Bella's bathroom cabinet was stocked full of the finest skin care products and anti-aging creams that money could buy, but there was no cream, no tonic, no magic cure, that could change the fact that she was aging and Edward was not.
"It's just...I don't want to draw attention to us. Imagine how it must look," she attempted to explain.
"I don't give a fuck what people think," Edward snapped at her.
"Look, I don't want to talk about this now. Can't we just go back to enjoying our walk?" Bella was tired and was in no mood for a fight. She could feel her skin prickling under Edward's gaze, and knew he was studying her face, searching for something. She wasn't sure if it was reassurance he wanted, or the truth.
"Well, I do want to talk about it now. Jesus, Bella, you've basically just admitted you're ashamed of our relationship, " Edward said, unwilling to let the subject drop.
"I'm not ashamed!" Bella spun around to face him. "How dare you put words in my mouth. All I said was I'm not comfortable with public displays of affection anymore."
"Because you're worried what people, we don't even know, might think?" Edward asked in disgust. He shook his head; her lack of self-confidence never ceased to amaze him. One minute she was in control, strong, resilient and then, seemingly in a heartbeat, she was insecure and worried about the opinions of people who didn't matter.
Bella had to admit to herself that what Edward had said was, in fact, the truth. She was worried what people thought. She had always shied away from being the center of attention, hating to be in the limelight, uncomfortable under the scrutiny like she was afraid of what people might find if they looked hard enough; like she wouldn't measure up. Edward, on the other hand, was gorgeous and turned heads wherever he went. She was used to hiding in the shadows while he walked under a spotlight of attention. He was always center stage, the star of the show, and she was a bit-part extra, silent and invisible. He never seemed to notice, or perhaps he simply didn't care, but she saw the way people looked at him. Everything about him drew people in; his beauty, the ease with which he carried himself, even his voice was gravelly, deep and inviting. Everything about him made people catch their breath, take another look, want to be near him, and yet, there was an air of intrigue and danger that surrounded him; a storm of something dark brewing beneath his other-worldly features. People found themselves all at once afraid and attracted to him; poor unsuspecting humans didn't stand a chance.
That kind of attention was not something she ever wanted turned on her, for whatever reason.
"There's a word for women like me, you know, " Bella said harshly. She dug her hands deep into the pockets of her cardigan.
"Intelligent? Beautiful? Sexy? Because you're all of those things, Bella, " Edward touched her cheek tenderly, hoping it would help to melt Bella's defensive posture.
"Cougar. They call women like me, cougars. Older woman, younger man. It's not meant to be complimentary." Bella shivered and hunched her shoulders against the rising wind. The clouds were closer now, and the air crackled with the smell of rain.
"Well, you know I am a bit partial to a piece of mountain lion," Edward said dryly.
Bella couldn't help but smile.
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean it like that. It's just, you always seem so oblivious to the age thing, and it's not that easy for me. It's different now, and I'm just...trying to wrap my head around how things are," she said softly, as she took his hand from her cheek and held it in her hands. "I love you." She brought his hand up to her mouth and placed a kiss on his knuckles.
Fat drops of rain began to fall, splashing on the sand like little splatters of black paint. In the distance, they could hear the boom and rumble of thunder.
"Come on," Edward said as he grabbed her hand, "we better make a run for it."
Bella did her best to keep up, but Edward could never completely reign in his natural speed, and she soon fell behind. Her hair was completely soaked, streams of water ran into her eyes, and she shivered as droplets of rain ran down the back of her neck.
Edward turned back for her and hoisted her effortlessly onto his back. Gratefully, she wrapped her arms around his neck. As he began to run, she nestled her head into the crook of his neck, taking a deep, comforting breath of Edward and shut her eyes tight.
In that moment, as the world rushed past her in a blur, Bella could almost ignore the insidious unease that lurked deep inside her, the uncomfortable little ache that wormed and worried against her bones. For the briefest of moments, she convinced herself that there was nothing unbalanced or unnatural about their relationship.
In that instant, all that mattered was that they loved each other.
In that instant, there was nothing to fear from the future.
A/N: My Alice one-shot, The Secret Keeper, placed 4th in the contest and I've now uploaded it to my own profile. Check it out and let me know what you think. Reviews are better than walks on the beach with Edward.
As always, grateful thanks to Betham and Vanpirenz for their beta skills and support. They make everything prettier.