8/20/2010
Script ep: 6
Warriors Parody
Into the Wild
(After Intro)
Scene 1
Narrator: The gathering had begun. Each of the leaders began to climb onto a huge rock. Heh huge rock! Heh, get it?
Crookedstar: Gay?
Brokenstar: Retarded?
Bluestar: Mentally challenged?
Brokenstar: That's what retarded is retard.
Bluestar: Meanie.
Brokenstar: Slut.
Bluestar: (blinks) That hurts...that really does.
Crookedstar: Eh, I'm used to being called a slut.
Bluestar: Shut up, whore.
Crookedstar: Ah, mixing it up a little I see.
Narrator: CAN YOU IDIOTS JUST PLEASE START THE FUCKING GATHERING!
Brokenstar: I don't know dipshit, can we?
Narrator: By all means.
Brokenstar: Thank you. I'll go first. (clears throat) Sha-
Bluestar: Bless you.
Brokenstar: (stares at her.) Shut the fuck up.
Bluestar: Okay, geeze, you're acting like a druggie with HIV.
Brokenstar: That's because I am a druggie with HIV.
Bluestar: Oh, it would have been nice to know that before we had sex.
Brokenstar: Yeah well, what you don't know, won't give you a sexually transmitted disease.
Bluestar: Fuck you.
Brokenstar: Oh you.
Firepaw: (screams) M'kay.
All: (Stares at him.)
Crookedstar: Uh, what?
Firepaw: What?
Crookedstar: Why did you just shout?
Firepaw: Why didn't you just shout.
Crookedstar: Cause I don't have tourette's.
Firepaw: Hey that's not funny tourette's is very serious.
Crookedstar: Get blown.
Firepaw: One of your favorite activities I hear.
Bluestar: Firepaw just tell us why you fucking shouted.
Firepaw: I dunno, just thought the scene should of ended at that moment.
Brokenstar: That's retarded.
Firepaw; You're retarded.
Brokenstar: Hey that's not funny mental retardation is very serious.
Firepaw: Hahaha M'kay.
End Scene 1
Scene 2
Bluestar: Okay shits, I think i'll go first.
Crokedstar: Wait, where is Tallstar and the rest of Windclan?
Brokenstar: In my pants?
Bluestar: Oh, that is clever, really witty.
Brokenstar: Who asked you whore?
Bluestar: Fair enough.
Crookedstar: Well should we wait fo-
Brokenstar: No.
Crookedstar: Why?
Brokenstar: Why not?
Narrator: Writer you fucking suck all you do is have them answer a question with a question it's fucking lame.
Writer: You know what, suck my dick.
Narrator: Nah, sucking your own dick is disgusting.
Writer: Heh, says you.
Crookedstar: Uh, excuse me?
Narrator and Writer: Yes?
Crookedstar: Shut the fuck up.
Writer: (Glares) I can kill you... with a single thought.
Crookedstar:(Whimpers) Spare me...
Writer: Suck my dick first.
Narator: I like how both times you asked people to suck your dick they were guys.
Writer: Hahahahahahahahahahaha... I'm so embarresed.
Narrator: It's okay man we'll get you through this.
Writer: (Sobs) I don't wanna be homosexual!
Narrator: I know right, then you'd have to move to San Fransisco.
Writer: Great, fucking spot on. I can already see the hate mail coming from the fans in San Fran.
Firepaw: What fans?
Writer: Good point.
Firepaw: (blinks) I'm confused.
Brokenstar: (Had watched everything in silence.) Can we please... start... the fucking... gathering.
Crookedstar: We can't Windclan isn't here yet.
Bluestar: Who gives a shit.
Crookedstar: I do.
Bluestar: Well in that case, you're gay.
Narrator: Hey, it's been enough jokes on homo's expense. Cut it out.
Bluestar: (rage) WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LISTEN TO YOU! I. FUCKING. HATE. YOU!
Narrator: Because I'm a sexy beast.
Bluestar: Be that as it may; you still suck.
Narrator: Fair enough.
Bluestar: Good, let the gathering commence.
End Scene 2
Scene 3
Bluestar: Okay not much has changed since the last gathering.
Firepaw: Umm, me!
Graypaw: And Yellowfang.
Bluestar: Shut up Firepaw.
Firepaw: (Whispers) Notice how she didn't say "Shut up Graypaw."
Graypaw: Go to hell.
Firepaw: I don't want to.
Graypaw: Then we have a problem-
Bluestar: AS I WAS SAYING! We have a new cat amongst our ranks as an apprentice. Please welcome Fire-... Fire-... uh... What's your name again kid?
Firepaw: Firepaw...?
Bluestar: Right... FIREPAW EVERYBODY!
Narrator: there was a general uproar of applause.
Bluestar: Quiet you. Also we have a loner in our custody and she is being watched over by Firepaw because he wouldn't shut up and he's nice.
Firepaw: (Whispers to Graypaw) Notice hoe she d-
Graypaw: SHUT UP!
Bluestar: FITEPAW! IF YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP ONE MORE TIME TONIGHT, I WILL FEED YOU TO THE NARRATOR!
Narrator: Hey I'm not Chinese I don't eat cat.
Writer: OMIGAWD We are losing so many fans because of you!
Narrator: WHAT FANS!
Writer: I DON'T KNOW! STOP YELLING AT ME!
Narrator: Ok.
Writer: Thanks.
Narrator: Now get the fuck out of here. Kaythainxbai.
Writer: M'kay.
End of Scene 3
Scene 4
Crookedstar: You are the biggest bunch of retards I have ever seen in my life.
Bluestar: You love me lots now?
Crookedstar: Shut up whore.
Bluestar: Why are you talking to yourself?
Crookedstar: I find that talking to myself incredibly useful at times.
Writer: Heh, heh, heh, heh, refrences.
Narrator: GET OUT!
Crookedstar: I think I'll go next now. (Stands up proudly) Riverclan is-
Bluestar: Also in Thunderclan the prey is running well and know one is currently hurt.
Crookedstar: (Glared at her) What the hell! You already went!
Bluestar: Ah, but that is where you are wrong, I never said I was finished, did I!
Crookedstar: (Rolls eyes) Whatever, anyway, The prey is swimming well in Riverclan and-
Bluestar: Also Redtail is dead.
Crookedstar: Bluestar, If you don't shut up I am going to so thoroughly paint this rock with your blood that the rock will fuck your blood and little offspring of the Great Rock and Bluestar will be running around. How the fuck does that sound?
Bluestar: Not great. I can't stand children.
Crookedstar: Then it would be best if you SHUT THE FUCK UP! NOW, as I was saying... Riverclan has-
Bluestar: Redtail was replaced by Liontail and-
Narrator: (Shoots Bluestar in the head. A giant "Buzzkill" appeared over him.) One life down, two more to go. Had to do it, bitch was on a roll
Crookedstar: Wow...umm thanks.
Narrator: Hey this doesn't come without payment. Three virgins. My place. Tonight.
Crookedstar: Done. Anyway, Biverclan has uhhh hold on. (Pulls out a peice of paper and glasses.)
Brokenstar: What the fuck are those?
Crookedstar: Paper and glasses.
Brokenstar: Uhhh...
Crookedstar: Anyway, uhhh, oh yes Riverclan has 16 new kits.
All: WHAT!
Crokedstar: Oops my mistake the paper was upside down. Riverclan has 91 new kits
All: WHAT!x2
Narrator: Heh, heh, someone was busy.
Crookedstar: That is all. (Backs away deliberatly stepping on Bluestar's still dead body. Graypaw poked her with a stick with a worried look on his face.)
Brokenstar: (Stood up) Everyone, I assume you are wondering why Windclan isn't here.
All: NO!
Crookedstar: Well actually- (Gets headshot by Narrator)
Narrator: Sorry! Trigger happy! Can't be helped.
Brokenstar: Liars! You are curious! But guess what! SHADOWCLAN DROVE THEM OUT! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT!
(Silence)
Narrator: Wanna go fuck behind a tree?
Brokenstar: Gladly.
(They both walk away into the forest. Now the clan cats are alone without any leaders. A Riverclan cat jumper on the high rock.)
Riverclan cat: EVERYBODY LETS GET FFFFFFFFFFUCKED!
All: YEAH!
(And then began the fuck fest...of a century...)
End Scene 4
End Episode 6