I know, I know. I was astounded when I found out, too.
CHAPTER 6
Officer Mo seemed to be expecting my call.
"Hello?" he said eagerly, after only one ring. "This is Mo SmiggleSchmack. Who is this?"
My heart practically stopped.
No way.
I brought the phone away from my ear, slowly, slowly, looking at it as if it would explode any second now. Then, realizing he wasn't going to say, "ha, ha just kidding, this is Mo Smith!" that I placed the phone back on my ear, carefully.
I mean, MO SMIGGLESCHMACK?
There was no other explanation.
His parents… were escaped psychopaths. I mean, first of all, who names their kid Mo? ESPECIALLY those who have the last name SmiggleSchmack.
It just didn't happen.
"Hello?" he was saying. "HELLO?"
Rob was looking puzzled, motioning with charade-like movements at the phone. He was obviously stuck on the look that must be on my face.
"Later" I mouthed back at him, then started listening to what Mo SmiggleSchmack was saying.
"I swear to god, if this is Joey again I'll cut off your…"
"Whoa!" I said loudly, alarmed. "Whoa. Slow down there, cowboy! It's me, Jess Mastriani!" and did you know that your parents were seriously disturbed?
There was a short pause, brought to an end by him muttering, "Oh, um, well then," he sounded slightly embarrassed, " I apologize. Hello jess!"
"Um." I said, watching Rob making frantic 'tell me NOW' gestures with his hands, a frustrated look on his face. "Hello Mr. SmiggleSchmack."
Rob had a look on his face that suggested I had told him he had won the lottery- a mixture of shock, excitement, and a sick sort of hilarity. Then, his face contorting, he burst into a fit of, I kid you not, manic laughter.
I know. Disturbing.
While my fiancée was rolling on the ground, practically twitching from hilarity, I continued my conversation.
"Um, well, I used my powers, you know, and…"
"YES?" he asked eagerly, though I detected a faint…false note in his voice.
I frowned into the distance, again wondering if this was his first case. His voice was almost frantic with worry- or excitement, which was even more alarming.
"Well..." I said carefully, trying to bring the news slowly upon obviously eager ears. "I, uh…"
"What, Miss Mastriani?"
I decided to put it simply. "There's no way she committed suicide."
"Because…" Officer Mo said, sounding slightly impatient now.
I winced, trying to think up a polite, non-sickening way to put it. I decided on vague hints.
"Because…" I muttered. "Because she's in, um…a lot of different places."
There was a silence. I presumed he was taking it all in, so I continued.
"I mean, I know this puts a weird angle on the case, and I just want to apologize, because I know it will make it harder on you and your crew…"
"Wait. Miss Mastriani, slow down here."
I paused, confused. There was a cool edge to his voice, professional. It sounded as though he was suddenly MAD at me or something.
"Um, what?" I replied, ignoring Rob, who was now motioning at the phone, making "are you shitting me?" signs.
I could practically see Officer Mo stiffen, squint his eyes, and glare at the phone.
"What do you mean she's in a lot of different places? Do you mean to tell me that she cut herself up and threw the pieces all over the county?"
"Uh…no. I mean SOMEONE cut her up and threw her around the countryside. Her murde-"
"Miss Mastrani, we have already reached the conclusion, here at the station, that it was not a murder. Mrs. Ryder suffered from depression…"
I was staring to get mad now. "But she's in ten fucking pieces!"
"No, I'm sure you made a mistake." But his tone suggested something else, and I KNEW that he didn't' think, not for one SECOND, that I was telling the truth.
But how could he be so stupid? He had believed me yesterday! Was he hiding something?
"Officer Mo…"
"Young lady, I do believe this conversation is over. We have no further use of you…" he sneered the word, "powers. Thank you for your assistance. Good day."
I looked at the phone, frustration rising like fire in my stomach. I tried to take a deep breath, count to ten, but I only got to five before I broke.
"Listen Mr. SMIGGLESCHMACK. I have helped you on this case, against my and my fiancées wishes. I have endured countless crap over the years, mostly from police officers exactly like you, who have already made up their minds what this case is going to turn out like. It's people like you that wake up, look around the room, and say HMM, I DON'T FEEL LIKE SOLVING A MURDER TODAY!" and muddle the case to your convenience. Well I'M NOT LIKE THAT. I refuse for you to stubborn when PEOPLE'S LIVES ARE AT STAKE HERE. So you need to either shapen up and solve your goddamn case, or I'll do it for you. You got that?"
There was a short pause, and for a single, unifying heartbeat, I actually believed I had convinced him. All I heard was soft breathing on the other end of the phone.
It lasted for so long that I actually started listening for a dial tone, making sure he didn't hang up.
He didn't. Because, not a moment later, I heard his voice coming over the line, sharp and official.
"That's Officer Mo to you, Miss Mastrani. And I can assure you, if you even THINK about messing with police work, the authorities are going to have something to say about it."
And with that disturbing final note, he hung up.
I stared at the phone for a long time, until Rob finally came to from his state of hilarity and noticed I was weirded out. He cocked his head at me, then, suddenly, kneeled down by the couch, staring straight into my eyes.
"Hey you." He said, which sounded very romantic due to his husky tone. "What's wrong?"
For a second, I was just caught staring into his deep gray eyes, mesmerized, having one of those rare moments where I realized exactly how lucky I was to have him. I mean, think about it. We met in fucking DETENTION. We were high-school sweethearts (and there's enough proof that THOSE never work out, BELIEVE ME). He's had several… distractions; he MUST have, when I was in Afghanistan. Any girl would swoon to have him –except Karen Sue Hanky, prejudiced against grits as she was- and yet, out of everyone, he chooses me. ME, Jess Mastrani, tomboy in every respect.
Rob loving me was nothing short of a miracle.
He was still staring into my eyes, not saying a word, waiting for me to break the silence. Flustered, I said the first thing that popped into my head.
"Hey Rob… um… don't you hate store-bought cupcakes?"
He blinked.
"You know, I said hurriedly, "the ones that suck? With all that fake frosting and flaky stale…. Cupcakiness? Don't you think they should be abolished?"
He blinked again, still looking into my eyes. "I…guess…" he said slowly. "Some of them really do suck…."
"You've got THAT right!" I said, warming up to my uselessly rambled topic. "I mean, especially the white cake one, don't those completeahmmmmmmmmmmm…"
I broke off when Rob leaned in and covered my mouth with his.
Yum. All thoughts of store-bought cupcakes abandoned, I kissed him back, tangling my hands in his hair, leaning into him, feeling his nose push roughly against mine, falling back on the carpet, on HIM…
He moaned, breaking off the kiss, staring into my eyes. "Jesus Christ Jess," he said, kissing my temple. "You are the single weirdest girl I know."
I laughed, breathlessly. "I love you too Rob."
He grinned, and it took my breath away to realize that the reason he was looking so happy, that he was so bright and ecstatic, is because of ME. I was so proud of myself fro bringing that expression to his face, that I leaned down to kiss him again.
He pulled away, rolling out from under me and standing up. "Nope." He said, playful-firm. "Not until you tell me what happened with Mr. Mo…SmiggleSchmack." He cracked a grin at the name.
I frowned and stood up too, putting my hands on my hips. "You fight dirty." I muttered.
He laughed, but prompted me with a glance to start my story.
I groaned, and rubbed my head. "Fine," I said. "Well, the basic story is that he REALLY doesn't want to believe it's a murder, and he's doing this whole I'm-a-cop-co-I'm-better-than-you thing. I think he's going to close the case soon."
He frowned. "But didn't you tell him about… you know…"
"Yeah. Not like he cared. He thought I was making it up."
Rob let out a small noise, which sounded a bit like a growl. A Possessive Growl.
"Well," he said tersely. "I guess you have a choice to make."
I blinked. "I do?"
He nodded, searching my eyes again. "You have to be pissed that there's a murderer out running loose, right?"
I nodded, raising my eyebrows. Duh.
"So, you can either leave it up to the police, not your problem, go on." Rob explained, sounding like he didn't like this idea at all. "Or, you could…"
"Solve it myself."
He shrugged and nodded. "Basically."
I groaned, raking my hand through my hair. "What do you think I should do?"
He looked at me, his answer apparent on his face.
We stared at each other for a long time, before I finally threw up my hands and rolled my eyes. "God, do I even have a choice? Whatever. I'll work on the stupid case by myself."
He was grinning now. "Not alone." He murmured, coming up and giving me a huge hug. "I'll be there. Always."
I smiled. Not that I felt GOOD about my decision or anything…
But Rob was with me. And somehow, that was enough.
For now.
A/N:
Oh you lovely, wonderful ppl that are reading this as we speak.
I really do adore you. I would however, adore you even MORE if you decided to review. Just, you know, a thought. I figured I might as well put it up for grabs (HEHEMM THAT IS A SUBTLE HINT TO CLICK THE BUTTON AND TYPE A BUNCH OF GUSH ABOUT HOW MUCH U LOVE MY STOY!)
Just, u know. For those that didn't pick up my little hint there, this is a plead to REVIEW!!!!!!!!
Thanks and you all ROCK!
Starzil
p.s sorry it took so long to get up….. homework….
Pps. SmiggleSchmack? I kid u not, this is BASED ON A LEGITIMATE NAME!