The ride back to Bobby's was once again emotionally charged. No music played through the speakers and Clara knew Dean was thinking. He was going over everything he knew to find a way to save Sam. She was holding Sam's head in her lap and moved his long hair from his face. Though his eyes were shut she could see them moving beneath his eyelids. His hand twitched and she tried to imagine what he was seeing but knew she could not. If Castiel's betrayal to them hadn't proven to her that he had bad intentions, bringing down the wall in Sam's mind had. For a split second she imagined having to kill Castiel to save Sam and knowing she would do it without a second guess made her stomach turn. It had always confused and surprised her how someone could be your ally one day and your enemy the next.
They carried Sam into Bobby's house and down into the iron-clad panic room, resistant to demons, ghosts, and now angels too. They laid him on the makeshift bed in the center of the room where she knew he had spent days before. She pulled up one of the old wooden chairs from the wall and sat next to him. The look on Dean's face was a mixture of anger and fear.
"We can't just sit here, Bobby. I've got to help him," he said.
"Dean…" Bobby pleaded.
"You know, dreamscape his noggin. Something," Dean suggested.
"You know what Cas did. The dam inside your brother's head is gone, and all hell's spilling loose. We don't know what's going on inside."
"I don't care. We have got to do something," Dean yelled.
"And we will, but right now we got sixteen hours 'til they pop Purgatory."
"Bobby's right Dean," Clara spoke up. "Cas did this on purpose. He doesn't want us to interfere and try to stop him."
"Yeah, and how's that going, huh? We've got no line on Crowley. We got no line on Cas. Balthazar's MIA. I mean, all we've got is Sam, going through whatever the hell this is," he said.
"He wants you to fall to pieces. Just try to think of what Sam would want," Bobby told him and handed him a glass of whiskey. He offered one to Clara but she shook her head.
"Find Cas, Bobby. Find him now," Dean demanded, drinking all of the whiskey in one gulp and heading upstairs.
Bobby walked over and looked at Sam's seemingly lifeless face.
"How're things going for you?" he asked her.
"Fine. I haven't taken much of the pain medication though. Today I felt okay until I tried to kill Cas," she said with a small laugh. "I think I might've reversed any healing my body has done."
"It happens," he said taking another sip of his drink. "But I didn't mean physically."
She looked up at him and saw the fatherly expression she had often received from him.
"Good," she lied. "I think once everything stops hurting I'll be able to put it all behind me faster."
Bobby nodded.
"Don't pull a Dean on this one, Clara," he said.
"What's pulling a Dean?" she asked, confused.
"I'm sure you've noticed but Dean's not exactly one to talk about his feelings. He'll bottle everything up in his small, idgit head until he explodes. Look, all I'm saying is that I've been where you've been and know that it seems easier to push everything back and ignore it. You can't ignore it forever though and sometimes trying to just makes it that much harder in the end."
She nodded and then looked back to Sam.
"I'm going to go try and find this son of a bitch. You stay here and keep an eye on him," Bobby said before heading out of the iron room and back upstairs.
She thought about what Bobby had told her and he was right. She shouldn't keep everything inside. She couldn't understand why they all cared though. She looked over Sam who made the cot seem awkwardly small. His eyes still shot back and forth under their covers, seeing things none of them could guess. She moved his arm across his chest and laid her head on her arms among the small amount of space left on the mattress. She had been having trouble sleeping the few nights she had actually gotten the option to and it all suddenly hit her. She closed her eyes and nodded off. It felt like hours had gone by when she felt a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her. She sat up and saw it was Dean.
"Sorry," he said, "but I have to ask you something."
She looked at the watch on Sam's wrist. She had only been asleep for fifteen minutes.
"What is it?" she asked noting the concern on his face.
"When Crowley was…" he began but stopped when his eyes met the spot on her arm kept a secret by a thin layer of cloth and bandage. "Did he mention anything about where this would all happen or mention any place at all?"
"No," she answered him. "Dean, all he did when he took me was try to bribe me and when that didn't work he turned to hurting me. I think he had a feeling things wouldn't go his way that night and made sure to keep anything we could use against him to himself."
He nodded and she could see in his eyes how tired and stressed he was.
"I'm sorry, Dean," she said truly sorry she couldn't help them more.
"It's not your fau…"
Sam suddenly began to convulse, turning his head back and forth violently and his arms flying outward. Clara sprung out of her chair gripping Sam's arms and struggling to keep him from hurting himself or them for that matter.
"Sammy! Sam!" Dean yelled running to Sam's side. Her heart was suddenly going what seemed like a thousand miles per hour when Dean placed his hand on Sam's chest and he stopped moving.
"What the hell was that?" Dean asked.
"I don't know," she said.
They both turned around at the sound of Bobby's voice.
"Look what the cat dragged in,"
Balthazar was standing with him in the doorway, kept out of the room by the white symbols written on the walls.
"Well, at least you mudfish finally got the angel-proofing right. Still lets their lovers in though I see," he said glancing at Clara before pointing to Sam. "How's Sleeping Beauty? You didn't steal any kisses I trust?"
"What the hell took you so long?" Dean demanded walking over to the door.
"Honestly? I was having second thoughts," Balthazar said.
"About?" Dean asked.
"About whether to help you. I was thinking maybe... Maybe I should rip out your sticky bits instead."
"And what did you decide?" Bobby asked.
"Well," he said as he pulled out a piece of paper from his coat pocket and handed it to Dean. She walked over to the rest of them trying to hide her complete hatred for Balthazar.
"Cas and Crowley are there. That's where the show gets started."
"Alright, well give us a minute to pack up and then zap us there." Dean said.
"Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think so." Balthazar said shaking his head.
"Balthazar!" Dean yelled desperation in his voice.
"I'm betraying a friend here. A very powerful friend. We all are. So I think I've stuck my neck out far enough already. Good luck," he said making sure to give Clara a look of disgust before vanishing.
"We're leaving in ten if we want to get there in time. Hurry up," he said as they scattered to grab anything and everything they could before heading to Kansas.