Antimatter

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

Midnight Marauding

Kirby was woken by someone whispering "ssh".
His initial reaction was that the Forgotten Ancients were after him again for desecrating the image of the Lollipops of Time, but fortunately, it was only Kine.
"Oh, it's only you," said Kirby.
"Yes," said Kine, "it's only me."
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Uh, shall we go for a walk?" said Kirby.
"I'm not very good at walking," said Kine.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a fish."
"Oh." Kirby frowned. "Can't fish walk?"
"Not very well. In fact, I'm not even sure if I can breathe up here."
"If you can't breathe, then why-"
"Let's go for a walk, shall we?"
Kirby nodded and got off his seat (Pitch). "Where do we go?"
"I found a cosy little cave upstream; we could try there."
Kirby nodded; they went.

Inside the cave, it was dark. This might have been because it was night, or perhaps because they were in a cave.
"It's dark," said Kirby.
"Duh yes," said Kine sarcastically.
"Ooh!" said Kirby. "A breakable block leading to the pits of nowhere! Let's break it!"
Kine realised that any resistance would be futile (Kirby was a tad hyperactive, after all) so he wisely avoided any argument. By agreeing. All Kine's fault.
They burrowed deeper into the well-like place, and there they found a giant pool.
"Let's get in," said Kine.
"But I'm too tired to swim," said Kirby. "After all, it is the middle of the night and I probably should be sleeping right now."
"Yes, I do suppose I should sleep as well," said Kine. (Notice how I constantly restate that? Guess when I wrote this chapter. Daytime! Wasn't that obvious?)
They walked in silence for a while.
"Wait…" said Kirby. "Fish don't sleep!"
"Yes they do," said Kine, bewildered.
"No, they do not," said Kirby.
"Uh, I'm a fish, I think I'd know better than you, Kirby," said Kine.
"No fair," said Kirby, realising that Kine had actually found a completely valid point. Kirby did not like this because it meant that Kine did sleep, which meant… hmm… somehow related to Kirby's plans to eat civilisation…
Walking along, the two of them then saw something very curious indeed.
"The cavern ahead is glowing," said Kine.
"I think that's kind of obvious," said Kirby.
"Yeah, but you still fall for obvious tricks."
"Oh, yeah?" said Kirby.
"Your laces are undone."
"NOOOO!" screamed Kirby, running around in circles in absolute utter sheer, well, very panicky panic.
The walls of the cave rumbled!
"Not good," said Kine.
Kirby spun around to see a walking flame. "Oh, one of those cute things," he said. "Hi, little Bobo thing!"
It looked at them angrily.
"Kirby…" said Kine warningly.
"What?" said Kirby. "They're tiny, they can't hurt you badly."
"Kirby, that thing is eight times your size!"
"Oh," said Kirby, noticing. "Well, so it is. Funny… I seem to remember that Bobos were always about my side. They're so cute, don't you think?" He looked at the giant flaming Bobo and said, "you're cute, aren't you? Aren't you, little cutie-wutie? Oh yes you are, oh, yes you are!"
"KIRBY!" shouted Kine, diving at Kirby and knocking him out of the way as the Bobo zoomed through the air, burning right through the spot where Kirby had been standing only moments before!
"Whoops," said Kirby. "It's not very friendly, is it?"
"No, I- AUGH!" Kine jumped as the Bobo zoomed past him and crashed into a wall. Large balls of fire went flying past.
Kirby inhaled one. "Mm," he said. "Tastes like Waddle Dee."
"Kirby, why don't you spit it out at the Bobo?" suggested Kine as the Bobo went zooming around at amazing speeds.
"But it tastes so nice!" moaned Kirby.
Kine attempted a Heimlich and managed to get Kirby to spit the ball of fire at the giant Bobo.
"Ha!" said Kirby. "Not so tough after all, eh?"
Kine silently motioned, trying to point out that the giant Bobo was completely unfazed.
"Bobo?" said Kirby, dancing around in circles. "More like Boboo!" he sneered, pointing and laughing at the giant Bobo.
"That's not even funny," said Kine.
The Bobo, on the other hand, thought it was extremely funny, and started rolling on the floor laughing.
It kept on laughing.
It continued to keep on laughing.
It did not cease to continue to keep on laughing.
"Let's go before it remembers that we were fighting," suggested Kine.

A smaller cavern was where they found it. It was an ugly brown thing. Kirby took it because he thought it might taste nice with marshmallows, but as he did, something strange happened.
A white aura glowed over the area, followed by a soothing feeling of utter serenity. Kirby and Kine closed their eyes and sighed, relaxing in the feeling of warmth.
"Wow," said Kine. "What was that?"
"It felt like touching a heart star," said Kirby.
Kine gasped. "But that can only mean-"
"-that the brown monkey is a heart star!"
"No, it-"
Kirby ignored Kine and instead started to continually pound the monkey against the ground. "Turn into a star, curse you!" he shouted.
"Uh, hello?" said a voice.
Kirby and Kine wheeled around to find a strange creature which looked a bit like the monkey. "Are you food?" said Kirby.
"My monkey!" said the thing.
"Wait," said Kine, "you can own animals now? That's disgusting! Slavery!"
A Heart Star floated out of the strange red creature. "Monkey man!" she cried.
"…on the other hand, if animal captivity helps us defeat Dark Matter, I'm fine with that," said Kine, grabbing the Heart Star.
Kirby smiled because he had just eaten Kine and went back to camp.
Unfortunately, Kine came free in the process, but Kirby made up for it by eating lots of other stuff.
Then he slept.