Oh lord Envy what are you doing... Envy no... Envy stop... Hope you guys all enjoy the brand new chapter :D

I sat tapping my fingers against the edge of the Control Panel. Ed was asleep and so was everyone else. I had said that I would take Sleep Duty that night so that everyone else could get some rest because, go knows, I sure as hell wasn't getting any. It had been three days since Ed and Roy's argument and things had been shit to say the least. Most of the time Ed spent alone he had been in this little bubble of self-loathing and self-pity and the pure and simple fact that he had actually managed to get any sleep at all was a miracle.

I leaned forward, resting my arms on the Control Panel and rested my forehead on top of them. I sighed. I was exhausted but unable to sleep and I felt as if I was never going to feel whole again. This whole thing with Roy had me so fucked up. That hole in my chest was tearing open wider and wider every single time I thought about him with another person. When I closed my eyes all I could see was Roy locked in the passionate embrace of someone else. It didn't matter who, their face kept changing each time I closed my eyes.

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes as hard as I could, until colours flooded the insides of my eyelids, but it did nothing to stop the horrific display flashing through my mind. That hole was beginning to get bigger and bigger and that feeling like I was drowning, struggling for breath and heart pounding, began to get stronger. I opened my eyes hoping against hope that I could make the images disappear by bringing myself back to the real world. But they didn't.

To my horror I opened my eyes and I came face to face with the image of Roy, kissing that dark haired woman, plastered all over the screen. I nearly jumped out of my chair in surprise, letting out a gasp of pained surprise, thinking that I must have fallen asleep and lost a few hours and Ed went walkabout on his own. Then I realised that the edges of the image were blurred and I looked down at the Control Panel. Without realising it I had been leaning on some of the buttons and had caused Ed to begin dreaming about what I had been thinking about.

Fuck I'm such an idiot! I began frantically typing, desperately trying to erase what I had done. Problem was I had no idea what it was I had done to make Ed start dreaming about my insecurities. I had never done that before and I didn't know how to make it stop and all I seemed to be doing was making things worse and the kissing became more heated and clothes started to come off.

"Shit!" I muttered under my breath. At this rate everyone was going to wake up feeling this weird mix of pain, dread, fear and anger. I couldn't get a grip and I was beginning to panic more and more. I needed to do something but I didn't know what and the more I freaked out the worse Ed's dream seemed to be getting. Finally I realised the only thing I could do was type in a sequence in block capitals and send it immediately.

WAKE UP!

Ed jolted awake breathing heavily. Fuck! Now he was even dreaming about Roy with other people and couldn't get any respite from it at all. This was so fucked up! He placed a hand over his eyes and tried to calm himself down. He felt so pathetic and inferior. He had known that this relationship (if he could even call it that) was a bad idea from the start – deep down he had – but when Roy had kissed him everything had stopped mattering and he had given in. He knew that Roy didn't want commitment but that hadn't stopped him falling harder and faster and now he felt sick and couldn't stop picturing him with other people.

He looked over at the clock on the wall; it was only quarter to ten! He sighed and realised that he must have fallen asleep really early (or more likely just passed out from fatigue) and now he was just awake again. He rubbed his hand over his face. He should try and go back to sleep as his sleeping patterns were fucked enough as it was without adding this. He didn't feel like staying in the house though (especially as the last time he and Roy had been together it had been there) but he also didn't really feel like wandering around on his own and being inside his own head until he felt like trying to sleep again.

He picked up his phone and began to scroll through it. He knew exactly who's number he was looking for but he did have to stop for a second when he felt a twinge in his chest at the sight of Roy's number. He should just delete it but he couldn't quite bring himself to... not yet. He blinked away tears and continued scrolling until he found Winry's number. He pressed the call button and held the phone to his ear, hoping that she wasn't asleep.

"Ed?" Winry asked as she answered the phone. "Are you okay?"

"Not fantastic," he admitted as a lump formed in his throat.

"What's up?"

"Just can't stop thinking about Roy," he told her.

"Oh Ed..." she said softly and he could hear the pity in her voice. God he felt so pathetic! How was he this fucked up over it?

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking. "I know it's stupid and I shouldn't be bothering you with it..."

No, please bother me!" Winry said cutting him off. "It's not stupid; you thought this guy was into you for more than just the sex but then he turned out to be a bastard and I wish there was more that I could do to help."

"I just don't know what to do..." Ed said. She was right – he knew she was – but he felt ridiculous for taking this so hard when it wasn't even a break-up because they weren't even really together in the first place.

"What are you doing right now?" she asked.

"Nothing," he replied.

"Why don't we meet up at the SU then you can get out of the house and have some fun and hopefully we can make you forget all about Roy for a bit."

"I don't know..." Ed said. Was going out and getting ridiculously drunk until he thought it was a good idea to call Roy a good idea? He would make an even bigger fool of himself than he already had if he did. He had to have some self-respect.

"You can't sit around wallowing forever Ed," Winry told him. "If you just get out of the house for a few hours you'd feel better. I promise you will."

You know what? That sounds like a really good idea. All Ed had been doing for the last couple of days was sitting around the house and moping, trying to distract himself with work. Granted that was mostly my fault but now I was going to put things right. If he just got out of the house for a few hours then everything would be better. Not perfect but better. If Ed went and hung out with Winry for a few hours she would be able to get his mind off Roy and maybe even help him start to move on.

I would also really love it if I could get my mind off Roy too as he was starting to affect my mental state. I had never felt this shit before. Sure Ed occasionally got jealous (mostly of people taller than him) but it was never more than a passing niggle. This was debilitating, possessive jealousy and I hated that I was the one doing this to him. I hated how it was making me feel as well as I was pretty sure I was just slowly becoming less and less useful. Ed needed a break and so did I and Winry was offering the perfect outlet.

"Sure," I said to myself as I began to type a sequence into the Control Panel. "That sounds like a good idea." What could possibly go wrong?

The SU Bar was relatively full for a Wednesday night but Winry managed to find a secluded table for both her and Ed to use. She had gotten them drinks and had then began to grill Ed about what he had been doing since his and Roy's argument. When he said it out loud he was embarrassed by how much moping around he had been doing. This wasn't like him! He was usually much better at bouncing back when one of his relationships ended but this one had hit him much harder than he had expected too.

After a while Winry turned the conversation away from Roy and moved on to the kind of daft nonsense that they had always talked about. Ed found himself starting to relax. He hadn't felt this at ease in a long time. That might have been because of the alcohol (and Ed was definitely sure that it was helping) but just being able to get everything out was wonderful and being given something to focus on other than Roy was exactly what he needed.

"Thanks Winry," he said.

"What for?"

"For getting me out of the house," he said shrugging. "For getting me to stop wallowing and actually rejoin the world."

"That's what I'm here for," Winry said smiling.

"I know but still," Ed said. "I was being a useless slug person; you're fantastic and I love you."

"Damn," Winry laughed. "How drunk are you?"

"Apparently more than I thought," he replied. He nodded towards her empty glass. "Do you want another?"

"Sure thing," she said.

"Okay, back in a second," Ed said getting to his feet.

He weaved his way through the bar, which was even more crowded now that it was getting later, until he reached the counter. There were a lot of people there so he resigned himself to the fact that he would have to wait for a while and looked around to see if he could see an emptier part where he could get served quicker. As he looked over towards one of the darker corners he saw something that made his world come to a juddering halt.

Across the room from where he was standing was Roy, locked in a passionate kiss with a tall, blond haired man, who seemed to be feeling the effects of Roy's talented tongue. Ed stared, unable to take his eyes off the scene in front of him. The blond haired man was clutching Roy's shirt as if it were a lifeline as Roy took his bottom lip between his teeth. Ed knew that move only too well. If was an incredibly erotic display and if it was anyone else it would have been a turn on but seeing Roy kissing someone else only made Ed feel sick.

No! No, no, no, no, no! This couldn't be happening again!

That hole was ripping itself open in my chest and tearing me apart from the inside out. My head was spinning and I couldn't breathe. Seeing Roy with yet another person who wasn't Ed was like torture. Why? Why was this happening? Why did Roy need anything other than Ed? Why did he need anyone else? Had he even bothered to wait a while after Ed had finished with him or had he just jumped into bed with his next willing participant. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! No this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

I needed to stop the pain but my mind was reeling and I couldn't think straight. Fuelled by blind panic, as tears started falling down my face, I reached under the Control Panel to a locked cabinet. All I had to do was touch the door and the lock sprang open, I was in such a state. That had only ever happened once before; just after Ed's mother died. I reached in and pulled out a full bottle of whiskey. I knew that this was such a bad idea, deep down I did, but all I could think about was the feelings overwhelming me and I needed to do something to stop that hollow inferiority spreading through me. As I cracked open the bottle and began to neck it like it was water I saw Ed reached over the bar to buy his own bottle.

The feeling wasn't going away so I kept drinking (quite thankful that I at least seemed to be numbing to everything else). The world was starting to blur at the edges and I was pretty sure that Ed was slowly getting more and more hammered too. He seemed to be just about holding a conversation with Winry, who seemed to be getting more concerned the drunker he got. In reality though I couldn't actually tell anymore; half the bottle was gone and I was really starting to feel it. I doubted I'd even be able to stand.

"Envy?" Lust asked, switching on the light. "What's going on?" I groaned against the sudden onslaught of light and shielded my face with my hands.

"Turn the light off," I slurred looking up at her. She looked at the screen and then looked at the bottle in my hand.

"What did you do?" she asked. "What's happening?"

"Winry asked Ed if he wanted to go out for a drink and I thought it was a very good idea," I said.

"And you decided to join the party?" she asked.

"What the fuck is going on out here?" Pride asked before I could reply. Both he and Greed, who was just behind him, looked at the bottle in my hand as I took another swig.

"Fuck yeah, now it's a party!" Greed cackled.

"Greed this is serious," Lust snapped. "Envy's trashed." She grabbed the bottle out of my hand before I could take another swig.

"Hey!"

"That's enough," she said firmly. "Tell me what the hell is going on?" I opened my mouth to tell her but I stopped, my voice catching in my throat as the image of Roy kissing that man flashed through my mind.

"I saw Roy..." I sobbed, "with someone else." Lust sighed.

"Envy you need to snap out of this," she said.

"No what I need is another drink," I told her and tried to reach for the bottle.

"No you don't," she replied. "I've never seen you like this before; you're always the one who is so good at holding everything together. What has changed so much to make you fall apart like this? Is it just because you're jealous of seeing Roy with other people?"

"Why does he need anyone other than Ed?" I asked. I tried to stand but lost my footing and slipped to the floor. Lust put the bottle down on top of the Control Panel and tried to help me to my feet, before putting me back in the chair.

"Come on Envy, work with me," she said, "what's going on with you?"

"I live inside someone else's head, let's not delve into this too deeply," I replied. "I'm drunk! I'm fucked up and I'm drunk!"

"And Ed is going to end up paying the price for that," she muttered.

"I have to pee," Ed said suddenly, getting to his feet.

"Are you going to be alright?" Winry asked. "You're a little unsteady on your feet." Ed laughed and waved her off.

"I'll be fine," he said.

"If you're sure," Winry said and watched him stumble in the direction of the toilets.

Ed just about managed to stagger to the toilet without injuring himself too much. That felt like a massive accomplishment as he was so drunk he could barely see straight, never mind walk straight. More than anything he was glad that he didn't bump into Roy. He wasn't sure if he would be able to have a sensible conversation without breaking down and crying and that would be horrifically embarrassing. As long as he didn't speak to him when he was alone he would be fine; if he was with Winry she would be able to censor him if he fucked up too badly.

He began to make his way back to Winry but before he left the seclusion of the corridor with the toilets and into the crowded bar he ended up walking into someone tall with dark hair. Ed's stomach dropped as he looked up expecting to see Roy (because why wouldn't he bump into Roy when he was in this state?) The person he had bumped into turned round and Ed just about managed to make out Kimblee standing in front of him.

"Sorry," he slurred, blinking to try to get his vision to focus. It was really Kimblee in front of him, he was sure of it, but he had pounded through a lot of alcohol in the last half an hour so he could have been seeing anything. Kimblee looked Ed up and down and smirked.

"No harm done," he said reaching over and running his thumb over Ed's bottom lip. "Although if you really want to make it up to me, I can think of a few ways you can."

Ed was stunned into silence as Kimblee leaned forward and pressed his lips to his. The way Kimblee kissed was nothing like Roy; it was forceful and demanding and Ed was unable to do anything to stop him. He was torn. He didn't really want Kimblee to be kissing him like this (or at all for that matter) but there was a tiny part of him that wanted Roy to walk out and see him with someone else, then he'd know what it felt like. He began to reach up to pull Kimblee closer but Kimblee reached down and gave his backside a harsh squeeze and Ed snapped back to himself, suddenly painfully sober.

He didn't know this guy – he had met him all of once and his first impression was that he was creepy and he didn't want to do this! With as much strength as he could he pushed Kimblee away, panting heavily and trembling. He couldn't look at him. He could feel Kimblee glaring down at him but he didn't want to look up and see the contempt for himself.

"I'm sorry," Ed muttered. "I can't..."

"Come on," Kimblee said, tugging on the collar of Ed's shirt. "What's stopping you?"

"I just can't..." Ed said.

"Come on," Kimblee said again, a little more forcefully, leaning in to suck on the side of Ed's neck. "I'll make it worth your while." Ed struggled against him but Kimblee was stronger and a lot less inebriated that he was so he was at a huge disadvantage.

"Please..." Ed said softly. He closed his eyes. There was nothing he could do to stop him and it seemed as if Kimblee was just going to be able to take what he wanted.

"Is there a problem here?" a familiar voice asked. Ed opened his eyes, gasping as his blood turned to ice. Kimblee stopped attacking his neck and looked at Roy over his shoulder. Ed couldn't work out if he was happy that he had been saved by Roy or if that made the whole situation ten times worse.

"No problem here," Kimblee said letting go of Ed and straightening his jacket before going back into the bar. "Don't know what you were on about Mustang; kid's a fucking prude anyway" he added tossing a look at Ed that was filled with contempt. Ed took a deep breath, almost hoping that Roy would just walk away at this point but he didn't.

"Are you alright?" Roy asked placing a hand on Ed's shoulder.

"I'm fine," Ed said brushing him off. This was quite possibly the worst situation he could be in; having Roy jump in and save him like that and find out that Roy had been talking about him to Kimblee of all people.

"Ed. You're not fine," Roy said. He was right, Ed was still trembling but he was too proud to say so he kept his mouth shut. "What were you doing messing around with him anyway?"

"What are you jealous?" The words were out of Ed's mouth before he could stop them and he instantly wished that he hadn't said it. Roy glared at him.

"Really?" he asked sardonically. "I just save you from getting sexually assaulted and you're going to be like that?"

"Well how do you expect me to be?" Ed asked.

"I expect you to be less of a fucking child about this but apparently that's too much to hope for," Roy replied.

"That fucking fucker," I slurred. "I'll fuck him up." I lurched towards the Control Panel but Greed grabbed me by the waist and stopped me.

"Easy man," he said dragging me backwards. "You carry on like that and you'll start a fist fight."

"So what?" I asked. "I don't care anymore."

"Yes you do," he said. "If Ed starts an unprovoked fight with this guy he could get expelled or arrested."

"I don't care," I slurred again. And I didn't. I was blinded by anger, jealously and alcohol. I really shouldn't have drunk so much but I had and I was beyond the point of making sense. I struggled against Greed's hold on me but he was a lot stronger than I was and I was too drunk to really put up too much of a fight. Having said that I was also way too stubborn to give up by that point.

"Yes you do," he said."You don't want to fuck things up for Ed any more than they already are."

"But someone needs to do something to this guy to make him feel the same kind of pain Ed is," I said.

"Mate, you are in no state to do anything right now," Greed said. He wasn't wrong – I was in no state to even stand on my own let alone do anything that would be in anyway useful never mind do anything that could actually help.

"I don't care," I said again and began struggling against his hold with renewed fervour as tears began to prick my eyes.

Greed's pleas for me to stop fell on deaf ears as all I could think about was doing something to make Roy realise just how much pain he had caused Ed. I had no idea how but, whether physical pain or mental anguish, I needed to do something to him. I wasn't thinking or paying attention to anything going on around me until I felt a stinging slap hit the side of my face.

I stopped struggling immediately and slowly held a hand up to my throbbing cheek and stared up at Lust. Her hand was still raised and I had no idea if she was going to hit me again. She stared down at me with cold, angry eyes and I suddenly felt small and stupid. I opened my mouth to say something but she cut me off.

"Don't say anything," she told me. "Just go to your bunk and sleep this off."

"But..."

"No," she said cutting me off again. "You are not fit to do anything to help this situation so it would be better for all of us if you just left."

"But..."

"I said go to your bunk until you've sobered up," she told me firmly.

Now I felt like a child being berated for acting out. I had been getting hysterical and it hadn't been the first time I had gotten into that kind of state but no matter how bad it had even been I had never gotten benched before. I felt myself sag in Greed's arms, all the fight finally going out of me, and I realised that she was right. I had fucked things up by getting as drunk as I had and there was nothing I could do to make it right again.

"Okay," I mumbled.

"Good," Lust said turning back to look at the screen. "Now I can fix some of the damage you've caused."

"Come on, mate," Greed said giving me a gentle tug and pulling me away.

"Okay," I replied. I was so broken I didn't even protest that it was Greed being the sensible one. I turned round to say something to Lust but I thought better of it. She was leaning against the Control Panel, hanging her head. She looked like she had enough to be dealing with and it was entirely my fault.

"Fuck!" she muttered before straightening up. "I don't think I can do this, I can't make a sensible decision right now."

"What are you on about?" Pride asked raising an eyebrow at her.

"Fuck! I can't do this, he's too hot," she said placing her hand over her eyes. She sighed. "Pride you take over."

"Okay," he said shrugging, after a pause. "Just don't blame me if it all goes to hell."

"Come on," Lust said taking my arm as she headed off in the direction of the sleeping bunks, dragging me along with her. "Let's go."