Preston couldn't believe his luck! A buffet boat with a friendly man on it!
"You must be hungry! Please come this way!" said the man. Preston followed him to a stunning ballroom further into the ship. Along the way, they passed the engine room, the kitchen, the dungeon, the laundry room, the catacombs, the brig, and backup kitchen, and the backup catacombs.
"My dear sir," said Preston. "Could you tell me the history of this boat?"
"Certainly not!" replied the man. "Have a seat!"
"Sensational." said Preston. He approved very much of this boat. The waiter brought him a Leading Brand Cola, and showed him where to load up his plate. Preston filled plate after plate, and washed it all down with the delicious cola.
Morning became night, and night became ultra-night, and Preston was still eating. The man couldn't believe it! Except that he could believe it! Because this was no ordinary All-You-Can-Eat Lake Buffet Boat! This was a very sinister All-You-Can-Eat Lake Buffet Boat, and Preston was about to keep having been biting off more than he would previously have not been unable to chew. Or so he thought!
Preston had passed out while eating, but that didn't stop him! It was time for a plate of shrimp, and Preston couldn't say no to shrimp! He sleptwalk over to the shrimp, and piled them high on his plate, then turned to carry his plate back to his table.
"Mua-ha-ha-ha!" cackled the man. "Everything is going according to plan."
Preston hesitated, then sleepturned back to the buffet table and put one more shrimp onto his plate.
"I'm ruined! Yelled the man!" and he pulled a can of gasoline from his trunk, and started pouring it all over the boat. Preston woke to the sound of a match being lit.
"What's going on? Why does it smell funny in here?" Preston shouted in alarm, over his giant pile of warm half-eaten seafood.
"I'm burning down the boat!" shouted the man, who was also laughing.
"Oh, okay." said Preston, his voice muffled by the delicious shrimp he was eating at double speed.
Preston decided to get some imitation 'krab' meat to go. He took the styrofoam box, and left the dining room. He passed the various rooms I mentioned earlier, and found himself on the boat's majestic bow. The sight before him made him stop and fan himself with his box of 'krab' meat. Before his eyes, leaning against the very bow-est part of the ship, was the most beautiful adult woman that Preston had ever seen. She was eating 'krab' out of a to-go box as well.
"Sir!" said Preston to the man, who was still pouring gasoline out of the deceptively small gas can. "Who is that angel on the ship's bow?"
"My dear boy, that part of the ship is called the Front Bit! And that adult woman is Shay, the queen of my magnificent boat!"
"I must have her!" gasped Preston, gasping for air. Was this love? Was this an acute allergic reaction to shrimp? Perhaps… both?