The Epic Tale of How Running in the Hallway Forever Changed the Nation

A/N: I skipped last week's update because finals were kicking my ass so fudging hard, man. So, I'm SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SORRY! I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, I SWEAR!

-blueoleVanDerBeek

P.S. This is barely edited. I'm so sorry, guys. I'm a mess.

Chapter Six: Derek and His Goddamn Forearms

Spencer

The movie had just begun and Spencer sat quietly in the passenger's seat beside Derek as the lights came up on the blank sheet. The night sky had settled into a pleasant dark blue curtain and in the quietness of the lot of parked cars, he could hear the shallow puffs of Derek's breath. Spencer glanced over to the screen to see Lon Chaney enter in the 1920's classic film The Penalty. Although he heard the movie title tossed around by some teachers in passing, he had never invested much in discovering what it was about and wasn't curious to delve.

From the first few moments of it, however, he knew that he was far less than captured.

Derek reached into the back of the car and glanced back at Spencer, "You want a Bun?"

Spencer raised an eyebrow as he hadn't heard correctly, taking his eyes off of the screen and over to Derek's outstretched back, "Huh?"

Derek leaned back into his seat and held out a handful of small plastic packs, "Want one?"

"I can say I'm a fan of candy, but I've never had one of these before. What are they like?" Spencer asked.

Derek adjusted the brim of his Trilby hat and replied, "If you like maple, you'll like this."

Spencer shrugged, "Arigatou gozaimasu," and took one.

Derek stared at Spencer for a moment with a blank expression before asking, "…what?"

Spencer ripped open the gold plastic, "It means 'thank you' in Japanese."

Derek nodded and muttered under his breath, "Of course you speak Japanese. Why wouldn't you speak Japanese?"

Spencer smiled calmly at Derek's reaction and popped it into his mouth, looking back at the sorrowfully uneventful screen before chewing. Whoa. It was a lot of maple. Like… a hefty amount. God, it was chewy too. Fuck, what is this? Quicksand? He labored through the mush and sloppily spoke around the mouthful, "Jeez, is this giving a jaw workout, or what?" Derek chuckled and shook his head, watching as Spencer worked his way through the toffee. Spencer continued to chew and bit down on something soft, "Ugh, and there's caramel in the center? Are you fucking me?"

Derek burst out into a fit of laughter as Spencer tried to swallow the candy.

"I think my tongue is stuck... in my throat." Spencer mumbled.

Derek's grin grew wider as he laughed. The guy was in stitches.

Spencer decided to milk the fact that he was making Derek laugh for once instead of the other way around, "If this pulls out one of my teeth, I swear to God…"

Derek started to lean into the crook of his arm as he looked away from Spencer, the laughter rocking his body to the side as he gasped out, "Dude, you look like an angry chipmunk right now! Oh, my gosh! I can't breathe!"

Spencer spit it out into his handkerchief, "I'm glad someone is enjoying himself."

Wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, he grinned, "You aren't?"

"I'm sitting here in a stranger's car watching one of the dullest movies ever created and my jaw feels like it just entered the Olympics, while the guy I have a thing for sits there and laughs at my misfortune. Honestly," Spencer shrugged, "...I'm already having fun."

Derek smiled over at him, "Me too."

Hesitating for only a moment, Spencer reached over the seat and grabbed hold of Derek's hand on impulse. His blush could probably be seen from space, but he didn't care. As Derek's fingers slid through his, he knew that at this moment, he couldn't feel much happier. Sure, his jaw was sore, but he was falling in love with Derek right in front of his eyes, and he could feel Derek falling right beside him. Derek was giving him that look again. You know, the one where his eyes glaze over and his lips form a soft smile and the sun shines and the flowers bloom and Spencer fucking feels like Ilsa Lund from Casablanca. Spencer sighed.

Derek pushed a lock of hair out of Spencer's eyes and rested his palm of the side of Spencer's face before telling him he was beautiful.

Spencer looked away and Derek pulled his face back toward him and told him that he meant it dearly. Feebly, Spencer confessed, "When I was in your room and I said I didn't mean it when I told you that you were handsome in the hallway, I was lying. I… think you highly outweigh me both aesthetically and physically. I mean, sometimes when I look at you, I find myself baffled that a person could even be as gorgeous as you are and still be human… is that weird?"

Derek replied, "I've heard weirder."

Spencer smiled.

Derek's eyes trailed away and he started to grimace, "Oh, God, Spence. Look at that."

Spencer turned and looked into Kevin's car beside him to see the two of them making puerile kissy faces at them from the driver's window. Spencer proceeded to hide his face in his hands.

With a scoff, Derek raised his middle finger at the kids in the window and sighed angrily, "I don't know if it's just you, but at every turn, I keep being asked if we're having sex."

"It's not just you, they're dogging me too!" Spencer exclaimed, "Why can't everyone mind their goddamn business?!"

"I know right!? I'm under enough pressure as it is! I mean..." Derek looked toward his feet and scratched nervously at the back of his neck, "I mean… to be honest… I don't even know how two guys even have sex."

Spencer cocked his head to the side, "You don't?"

Derek shook his head.

Spencer asked, "And you classify yourself as a homosexual?"

Derek nodded.

Spencer narrowed his eyes, "Why haven't you looked into it?"

Derek replied, "Well, it's not like there's tons of information on it! The health classes taught at school only tell us about straight sex, and I know a bunch about that. But, all of this gay stuff… there's no way to get to know about that without getting caught."

Spencer shrugged, "You could just go to the library, find a book, and sit in the back. It's not difficult. That's how I found out all I know."

"I get eyed up every time I set foot in that place. The librarians never leave me alone…" Derek sighed before his eyes lit up, "Hey! Could you tell me?"

"Sure. Why not?" Spencer sat up straighter as if he were about to give a short lecture

Derek readied himself and opened his palms, "Hit me."

Spencer explained, "Okay, well, one of them—we'll call him Guy A—gets really relaxed and comfortable and Guy B shoves his penis up Guy A's rear end. The rest, as they say, is sodomy."

Derek's eyes went wide and his hand slapped over his mouth, "That's so fucked up."

Spencer asked worriedly, "Does that weird you out?"

Derek replied through his hand, "Not enough for me to be repulsed by the idea. I've just always wondered where it went, you know? I never thought… that… But, wait! Wouldn't that be mad uncomfortable for Guy A?"

Spencer shook his head, "Not if he's well prepared."

Derek paused, "…you mean like turkey? Does he have to be like… basted... before he can get all hot and sweaty?"

Spencer began to laugh, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but… kind of. You'll need lots of water based lubricant and a couple of fingers to stretch, then you're all good and ready to go."

Derek huffed, "Huh. Who would have thunk it?"

Spencer corrected, "Thought."

"Yeah, of course, man." Derek chuckled, "Well, is there another way it can be done? One that doesn't involve… you know…basting and butt stuff."

Spencer nodded and listed off on his fingers, "There's handjobs, blowjobs, rutting, and the good ol' fashioned dry hump."

Derek's eyebrows raised, "I knew about most of them, but all in all… that's a lot of variety."

Spencer replied, "There's even more if toys are involved."

Derek narrowed his eyes at Spencer, "Do you mean like hula hoops and jump ropes?"

Spencer blushed and looked away with a chuckle, "Oh, Derek, you're so cute."

Derek pouted, "Come on, man! I'm not 'cute'. I just don't know much on the subject. You know what—speaking of cute—why aren't you a blushing, blubbering mess?! We're talking about sex here! You're usually too petrified to casually chat about this type of thing!"

"This is more of a biological lesson and less of a sexual situation," Spencer shrugged simply, "In efforts to keep myself calm, I've developed a simple statement about my nervousness by way of what I can control and what I can't. As long as you're not flirting with me, making sexual advances, reciting classical works, or showing more than 32% of your skin, I'm usually very attentive and am able to keep my visible quivering to a minimum."

Derek smirked, "So, if I rolled up my sleeves, undid three of my shirt buttons, and started quoting Shakespeare, you'd be speaking gibberish right now?"

Spencer added a defeatist sigh, "I'd be reduced to a puddle of unintelligible mush."

Derek paused. Then, he started taking off his black suit jacket. Spencer raised his palms and begged, "No! No, Derek! Please!"

"Hmm? What was that?" Derek chuckled and tossed the jacket into the backseat, winking at Spencer before slowly loosening his tie. Spencer turned in his seat and folded his arms, refusing to steal a look at him. Not giving one single fuck, Derek pitched the tie into the backseat and began on his buttons, "No, go on, Spencer. What were you saying before about this being a biological lesson?" Spencer pointedly stared out of the window, the light from the silent movie casting a glare onto the glass so that he had a clear view of Derek's reflection. Derek let out a soft, sultry hum before leaning over to whisper in his ear, "My forearms are exposed. Doesn't that turn you on?"

Spencer held his ground and didn't respond. Derek wrapped his arms around Spencer and kissed his neck softly before breathing, "Let me not to the marriage of true minds. Admit impediments…" Spencer let out a calm breath as he begged himself to keep it together. He could do it, he knew he could do it. Derek continued, "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends when the remover moves to remove…" Spencer held in a gasp. Derek was quoting Shakespeare again, but he couldn't place the exact play. He sifted through his mental bank until his searching was stifled by another light kiss to his neck, "Oh no! It is an ever-fixed mark. That looks on tempests and is never shaken! It is the star to every wandering bark! Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken..."

"William Shakespeare. Sonnet 116. Marriage of True Minds. Written in 1609," Spencer replied.

Derek chuckled softly against his ear and held him closer, his chest warm against Spencer's back as he could feel through his waistcoat and shirt, "Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending… sickle's… compass… come."

Spencer sighed, "Seriously, Derek. Stop. I don't think… I don't think I can…"

Derek spoke in a low whisper through kisses to Spencer's hair, "Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom."

Spencer moaned lightly.

"If this be error and upon me proved…" Derek quoted against the shell of Spencer's ear, "I never writ…"

Spencer leaned his head back to rest of Derek's shoulder.

Derek whispered over Spencer's lips before kissing them as soft as the flutter of a butterfly's wings, "Nor no man ever loved."

Spencer turned and pressed his hand against Derek's chest, pushing him back into the driver's seat as he stayed put in his own as he chastised, "You already know what Shakespeare does to me, so I'm not even going to give you grief for that."

Smirking, Derek awaited Spencer's backlash at his blatant use of Shakespeare for evil.

Spencer sighed, "You're waiting for me to flip my lid, aren't you?"

Derek nodded, "Yep."

"You see, I could do one of two things. I could bitch, moan, and complain at you because of how you obviously used olde English to get me into your lap as quickly as possible," Spencer hopped out of his seat and climbed on top of Derek's legs to straddle him, "Or, I could give into my Austen side and make out with you because you speak with eloquence and you're intentions are good."

Derek gave the most amazing puppy dog eyes this world has ever seen, "You should pick option number two."

Spencer grinned, "You would say that, wouldn't you?"

"If I quote Austen, will you make out with me?" Derek asked.

Spencer answered instantly, "Yes."

Derek murmured, "Shit. I don't know any Austen."

Spencer began to laugh, "Study up then, fream. You're going to need all the help you can get."

Derek raised a bare forearm.

Spencer's face went red.

Derek smiled, "Where'd all that confidence go?"

Spencer breathed as a shudder went through him, "They're so toned, oh, my God…"

Derek undid another button.

Spencer complained, "You were a siren in a past life, weren't you? That explains a lot."

Derek slid another button free and barely got to finish before Spencer shoved their lips together in hasty kisses as he spoke between them, "With the Shakespeare…" Spencer grabbed hold to the sides of Derek's face and littered his lips with kisses, "And the shirt buttons…" Spencer pulled him closer and kissed him harder, "And your goddamn forearms…"

"Spence… Spence!" Derek stopped him.

Spencer blinked and looked at Derek, "What?"

"Shut up," Derek pushed their chests together and dove in for a few more kisses. They wrapped around each other in the small seat and Spencer was pressed up against the steering wheel and it was all off and unbalanced and he asked, "Mind if we… go in the back…?"

Derek paused, "You do know what it means, right…? To go in the back…?"

Spencer scoffed, "I'm just saying that it would be more comfortable. We don't even have to do anything."

Derek

Derek knocked on his sister's door over and over until she answered it. Angry and half asleep, Sarah answered the door with an annoyed look. Not answering it, he pulled her out of her room and down the hallway toward his as she struggled and protested all the way until he finally shoved her into his room. He closed and locked the door and looked at her with wild eyes, "We did something."

Sarah yawned, "What do you mean? Who's 'we'?"

Derek whimpered, "Me and Spencer, alright? We're-we're together. We're a thing."

Sarah tiredly raised a fist and blinked lazily, "Good for you. Can I go back to sleep?"

"No, Sare! You've gotta help me figure this out! I don't know what I did, you know? It's just… one minute everything's fine and the next minute you're having an orgasm in the back of Lee Ann Martin's car." Derek worried.

Sarah's eyes widened, "Okay, back up. You did what in Lee Ann Martin's car?!"

Derek explained, "We went to a drive in tonight; Me, Spencer, Kevin, and Pen. But, Kevin and Pen wanted privacy, so when Spencer came along, we borrowed Lee Ann's car. The movie was shit, so me and Spence got to shooting the shit talking," Derek started to pace, "and then I was teasing him and all of a sudden we were talking about sex. Then I started thinking about it, and teased him some more and then he was kissing me and talking about, 'let's go in the back, we're not going to do anything' and he lied because we ended up doing a lot of something," Derek ran his hands over his head, "Then, it got really awkward and the silence was super intense, so when the movie ended, I dropped him off at home and he didn't kiss me goodnight! So, now I'm thinking that he didn't like it and hates me and wants to break up with me and—"

"Derek!" Sarah sighed.

Derek stopped pacing and looked at her with worried eyes, "Yeah?"

Sarah instructed, "Sit down."

Derek sat.

She followed him and sat beside him on his bed and took one of his hands, "Breathe, okay? You're having a nervous breakdown and you need to calm your shit ahora."

Derek took deep, shaky breaths.

Sarah let go of his hand and rubbed his back in calm circles, "Now, even though I don't want to hear about it, what did you two do?"

Derek breathed, "We were making out in the backseat—he was on the bottom—and then I started doing this grinding thing, like mashing our hips together an stuff. Spencer seemed to like it, and we had our clothes on and it was no big deal, so I kept doing it. Then, he was, like, breathing into my mouth and moaning in my ear and saying things like, 'oh, yeah… you're so good… more, Derek, more—"

"Less detail, man!" Sarah made a face, "Can we take this down 87 notches, please?"

Derek shrugged, "Fine. Long story short, we accidentally climaxed. It was a total mistake, and now I'm afraid our first time happened in the backseat of my neighbor's car three weeks after we said hello."

She nodded, "Well, that's… awful."

Derek put his head in his hands, "I fucked up."

Sarah scoffed, "No, you didn't."

Derek looked at her through his fingers, "I didn't?"

Sarah rolled her eyes, "No, dipshit. It's called dry humping. People do it all the time, it's perfectly fine."

Derek dropped his hands, "But, we just met! Aren't we moving too fast?"

Sarah shrugged, "Kinda, but… since you didn't go that far you still have time to take it slow. If that's what you want to do…"

Derek nodded, "I do! I want to be with him so bad, I'll do anything."

Sarah chuckled, "Hey, what brought on all this?"

"When I first met him, I figured, he was cute and all, but somehow… now... he's got me… and I like it," Derek smiled brightly.

Sarah rolled her eyes, "Call him in the morning, or walk him to school. Take the time to talk it out. Trust me, communication is the key to calming the crazy. See? You were hyperventilating not several moments ago. Look at you now! A few moments taken out to assess where you are and you're as chill as a cucumber."

Derek grinned over at his sister, "Thanks."

Sarah gave a smile back, "You're welcome. Just remember, if you ever want to talk… go to someone else."

Derek chuckled, "Just for that, I'm fixin' to go to you for everything."

Sarah feigned anger, "Please, God! No!"

Derek pushed a tendril of curls into her face, "Fuzzy Duck."

She wrapped an arm around him and leaned her head on her shoulder, retorting heatlessly, "Lover Boy."

A/N: The drama kicks up next week for sure. The title will soon start making sense.

-blueoleSandbox