Advocate

Disclaimer: CLAMP owns it. I play with it.

Summary: Sort of AU. Seishirou is sent back into the past by an angry Hokuto after he forces Subaru to kill him, giving him the chance to start again. The assassin however, resenting the changes to his plans, will be playing the older Sumeragi twin's game his own way. Hokuto herself has an importance of her own, and now she is alive again, retaining all memories of her death and subsequent afterlife, she'll play the game just as fiercely, leaving a confused but suspicious Subaru in the middle. Rating T, multiple storylines.

Pairings: Split evenly between Seishirou x Subaru and Kakyou x Hokuto

Warnings: Violence, blood, male-male. If you have a problem with shounen-ai or blood...you're in the wrong fandom. This is CLAMP, so blood is a given.

Author's note: Okay, I get it. Epic fail on updating. I haven't lost the plot on this story, I promise!! There's still a note on my desktop reminding me of plot points! Apologies, and hope you like the chapter, although no much reeeeally happens, it isn't until the next one where things start to get more...frantic.

......... Advocate .........

Chapter Five: Pawn

Subaru stared blankly out of the window, resisting the urge to scratch the backs of his hands. The marks were no longer burning, but the scars remained, and he no longer wore the gloves, as morbidly fascinated as he was by the Sakurazukamori's symbols. They were livid on his hands, red and menacing, and always, without fail, reminding him that he was marked for death. A soft sigh. He had, much to the horror of his sister, cancelled all his jobs for that day, something the hard working onmyouji wouldn't have ever considered under normal circumstances.

A gentle knock. He gave no indication he heard, but his sister came in anyway, of course. "Hokuto-chan..." He acknowledged without turning around. Both siblings were quiet for a while. Eventually, if only to break the tense silence, Hokuto spoke. "Subaru-kun? Have you eaten anything yet today?" She sat beside him with a frown as he guiltily shook his head. The girl sighed and dragged him, pyjamas and all, downstairs and across the hall to her own apartment, ignoring her twin's squeak of embarrassment. She'd already fixed him something to eat, having known he wouldn't have bothered. "Come and eat. Now." She said commandingly.

"I'm not – "

"Yes you are."

A slight laugh from the plush sofa in the corner of the room made Subaru blink and glance up. Kakyou was sprawled out on it, on his front, one of Hokuto's books in his hands. The easy smile and tired, but lively amber eyes suddenly made him want to grin. He had done this. He'd helped make the other boy happy. This made him feel a little better, and he sank into one of Hokuto's chairs gratefully, accepting the bowl of noodle soup she shoved into his hands. He began to eat, eventually, ignoring his sister's clucking and accusations of waiting for the stuff to go cold. Hokuto threw a wink at Kakyou, whose eyes sparkled even more at the flirty gesture. Subaru watched the interplay between them, and was dragged back into thoughts of his own convoluted relationship with Seishirou. They caused a lot of raised eyebrows when they were seen together, and the very idea of two men together was...well, bizarre. His grandmother would never speak to him again. A smile briefly flared on his lips when he remembered telling the woman adamantly that he wouldn't be having children, ever. She had laughed, then. But he wouldn't if he ended up with Seishirou...

Ended up with Seishirou? Oh, so now he was turning some...some crush into a full blown lifelong relationship? What was he fantasizing about? He snorted and shook himself a little. Hokuto poked his forehead. "Hello? Earth to Subaru...what are you thinking about?"

"Seishirou-san..." He blurted before he could stop himself. Then, he blushed. Hokuto simply giggled, covering up the fears that instinctively trickled into her head. Kakyou, on the other hand, went quiet, a frown creasing his forehead. Subaru missed both, having covered his blushing face with his hands. All the embarrassment had not removed his own fears, regardless. He still had no idea if his dreams were simply the product of too much sweet food (not that he ate much) or if they genuinely were trying to tell him something.

But why, then, did they seem like...memories?

......... Advocate .........

Kakyou frowned, recognising the name, and suddenly, inexplicably knowing who the man Subaru spoke of was. He'd had visions of the battles between the dragons of Heaven and the dragons of Earth – he was one himself, much to his chagrin. He knew all about it, and whilst he knew to hold his tongue and let destiny run its course, he couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy who'd helped him escape. If he was a better person, he'd tell Subaru everything.

But he wasn't. He still feared fate, and wondered how much Hokuto had already changed with her exuberance and determination to make everyone's life better. She certainly seemed to be rooting for her brother and Seishirou, and she'd gotten Kakyou out of his home before he'd had the chance to be forcibly enlisted into the battle for the fate of the Earth, whenever that battle would take place. He was pulled from his thoughts when he realised that Hokuto must have noticed his sudden vacancy. "Eh, everyone's zoning out on me! Boys are so useless!"

She had her hands on her hips when Kakyou finally turned to look at her. She was grinning at him, green eyes sparkling with mirth, and wonderfully crazy cat outfit hugging her skinny frame. He blushed when he realised he was smiling at her like a loon and staring. She was the only girl he'd ever met outside of his dreams, and there was no question that he found her incredibly attractive. Not only were she and her brother physically beautiful, Hokuto was sunny and radiant, with a striking, independent personality and a big heart. The older boy blinked, blushing and turning away. Of course he'd find her attractive, she was the only girl he'd ever met who wasn't his mother, for goodness sake...

Hokuto made a huffing noise and flounced off, muttering something about 'idiot, spacey boys', leaving Kakyou lying on the couch, and Subaru hovering by the window, staring out of it distantly. Kakyou vaguely remembered dreams of both of their future selves, himself, and Subaru, and wondered if those dreams would come to pass. He used to trust them implicitly...and he used to think he knew everything that would happen before it happened...but the twins barging into his life and 'rescuing' him from his own mother had completely taken him by surprise. Not that he was ungrateful, of course, although he was terrified that his mother would send half the mafia after him. He scrutinised Subaru, wondering why Hokuto had dragged him over here in his pyjamas. The boy was looking hollow, and tired, and Kakyou wondered what was wrong with him. He hadn't 'seen' much of Subaru's early life, only brief flashes when their paths were supposed to cross later on in their lives.

"Are you alright?" He asked eventually, natural shyness making his voice sound disgustingly small and quiet.

Subaru glanced up, startled at the quiet, dreamy question. He'd discovered that this was how Kakyou spoke, and he imagined that it was probably the same with any dreamseer. He was secretly fascinated by the tall, pale blonde boy, and was pleased that Hokuto had met him and subsequently decided to let the older boy move in with them. He knew she watched the news like a hawk, waiting for anything suspicious that might suggest Kakyou had people looking for him. "Yes...I'm fine..." he answered, belatedly remembering the other had asked him a question. Kakyou cocked his head. "But you're not, are you?" He said perceptively. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be round here in your pyjamas, looking like death and staring out of the window with a moody expression on your face."

Subaru blinked at him, and sighed. "Maybe. I'm just...it's just bad dreams, that's all."

"You can't tell someone like me it's 'just' dreams." Kakyou suddenly laughed, and he was surprised at the sound of it. He wasn't used to laughing, which struck him as extremely depressing. He pushed himself off the sofa and made his way embarrassingly slowly over to Subaru. He still struggled to move very far, and even simple activities like walking tired him out. Ever-helpful Hokuto had researched it and told him that he probably had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and of course, she'd try to find out if this was something common to dreamseers like him. A faint smile. He leant against the wall next to the window. "What do you dream about?"

The young onmyouji looked up at the taller boy, biting his lip. "Don't laugh. I dream about Seishirou-san – but not in the way you think!" He said quickly, blushing. Kakyou quirked his lips, but said nothing, waiting patiently.

"In my dreams...he's...he's my enemy. He does terrible things, like..." A shudder, and Subaru shook himself. "In my dreams, he kills Hokuto."

At this point, Kakyou had to turn away a little to stop the boy catching the colour drain from his face. He'd seen flickers of that event, too, and he'd suspected and feared that these snatches were leading up to a full blown vision where he'd have to watch his Hokuto die at the hands of the Sakurazukamori. He inwardly cursed Subaru's naivety. He was having these dreams about a man with the name Sakurazuka. How blind could he be? The worst part was, he had a feeling both he and Hokuto knew exactly who he was, there was no way that girl would miss something like that. Kakyou eyed the marks on the backs of the younger boy's hands. Was Subaru seriously that dense, or was he just...hoping all his suspicions were wrong? Kakyou frowned. "In my experience, that would tell me to keep your sister a hundred miles away from him." He said plainly.

"I know." Subaru whispered. "But..." A deep sigh. "She's the one who's always telling me to go out with him, or go over to his apartment for lunch...and what if these dreams are just...manifestations of my own paranoia?" He looked o frustrated that Kakyou reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder. "You can't know. You're not like me, you're not compelled to believe everything you dream."

"Sometimes they don't feel like dreams. Sometimes...in fact...all the time, they just...feel like memories. As if I've already lived through them."

At this, Kakyou was stumped. "Hmm...Well, there I'm afraid you've slipped out of my area of expertise." He murmured with a yawn. "But if I were you, I'd try to find out what Seishirou Sakurazuka is hiding." Subaru was clearly startled by this, and he blinked curiously at Kakyou. "I don't remember telling you his full name..."

"No, because you didn't." Kakyou agreed, returning to his couch and picking up his book, leaving Subaru to wonder whether Hokuto had told him, or if Kakyou had just known who he was talking about. The younger boy watched him for a while, a very slight frown on his face.

......... Advocate .........

That night, Subaru was afraid to go to sleep. He instead pored over books on onmyoujitsu and the Sakurazukamori, bedside lamp shedding false, dim light over his shoulder. He glanced at his clock every ten minutes, frustrated that the night was passing so slowly. He was soon absorbed, however, reading about the Sakura tree the infamous assassin clan were supposedly bonded to. He read how it would call for its victims, and how the Sakurazukamori was bound to oblige. He also read how, apparently, the assassin clan were bound to serve the Japanese government, and take care of its enemies. For the first time he wondered if the Sakurazukamori were not so bloodthirsty and ruthless after all. Perhaps it was just a job. He then realised he was wrong when he read an entire chapter on the ingrained bloodthirsty nature of the clan, and the fact that they were genetically prone to enjoyment of their position. A groan. "Lovely..." He murmured.

"Isn't it?" An unmistakeable voice purred from behind him, and Subaru, startled, suddenly felt the weight of broad hands on his bare shoulders. A quick glance confirmed what the slick feel of them had already told him – they were covered in blood. His yelp of revulsion was covered by one of Seishirou's hands straight away, and the smell of it filled his nose. He gagged, trying to pull away, heart and mind racing away with him. Seishirou leant very close and murmured, "It's true, you know, little Subaru-kun. We do love to kill. I live for it, it isn't just a job..." A light, amused chuckle, and Subaru squirmed, overwhelmed with such a tirade of emotions, and Seishirou's big hand still covering his mouth and nose, he was struggling to breathe...

The man's other hand trailed down his arm, and held his hand, deceptively gentle. "So pretty and fragile..." He murmured, kissing the boy's neck. Subaru froze, shivering uncontrollably at the feel of the older man's lips touching his skin. It felt wrong, even though he knew his teenage self longed for that kind of touch from Seishirou. Long, slender fingers stroked his arm, and then his hip, leaving smears of blood on his skin, and his pyjama bottoms.

Then, the Sakurazukamori was gone, and Subaru started awake, head pillowed on his book. He let out a gasp, taking huge mouthfuls of air into his somehow straining lungs. His breath continued to come in pants that sounded hideously loud in the empty room. His light was off, and the inverted pentagrams on his hands were glowing slightly, filling his bedroom with an eerie half light. He must have fallen asleep. His mind raced, and he let out a whimper, staring around in the dark, trying to see if anyone was there, and checking to see if the blood he'd seen and felt being smeared on him was still there. Which of course, it wasn't. That creeping feeling of being watched was back, and he was trying so hard to understand what was happening. Retreating to his bed, he decided to blame it on his tiredness, and reluctantly lay back on his bed. Lying there staring at the ceiling, he began to question himself. Was this just him being paranoid, like he'd told Kakyou? Or was he just being played with by his very own predator? A glance at his hands. Subaru squirmed, feeling slightly sick. Seishirou Sakurazuka. Kakyou was right, these dreams were telling him something, and he knew exactly what that was.

So why couldn't he admit it to himself?

......... Advocate .........

Seishirou waited patiently for the child to fall asleep, a grin on his face. Molesting the boy while he was about to collapse from fatigue had been supremely satisfying. And of course, Subaru simply believed it to be a dream, because he'd 'woken up' to find no evidence of Seishirou's presence. Once Subaru was asleep, he watched the bad dreams plague him. There was no need to plant the illusions, now, Subaru's own mind was doing all the work. He was so worked up and paranoid that the dreams came without Seishirou's 'assistance'. However, the feeling he should have been getting from all this was not there. Nor was the pleasure he normally felt upon torturing someone half way to insanity. What was there was a sort of dried-out, hollow feeling.

A frown of irritation. The better half of Seishirou knew exactly why that was, and the not-so-better half was just plain annoyed about it. The man watched his young friend toss and turn, and even cry out in his sleep. He was the cause of the boy's helplessness. The thought should have made him pleasantly gleeful, but it just made him feel like an asshole. He was used to hurting people, but he was not used to feeling bad about it. A huff. Damn Hokuto and her oh-so-accurate predictions.

Seishirou couldn't help it; he moved over to Subaru and sat down on the bed, frowning at the boy. He laid one hand on the little onmyouji's damp forehead and eased his sleep, a trick he usually reserved for calming down hysterical victims he couldn't be bothered to deal with before killing them. He watched the boy visibly relax and fall into a deep, untroubled slumber, and then blinked at his own highly confusing actions. He knew exactly why he couldn't help but fluctuate between wanting to toy with Subaru, and wanting to sit with him and ease his suffering, he just didn't want to have to deal with it. He sighed frustratedly, unconsciously stroking Subaru's hair. Something was going to give sooner or later. It would be a race between his own conflicted emotions, Subaru's sanity, and Hokuto's patience.

Unable to stop himself, he pressed a kiss to Subaru's forehead, one slender, marked hand in his own. "I do love you, you know." He murmured. It was safe to say it while the boy was asleep, he decided. Of course, to admit this to Subaru would go against his very nature, and he wasn't willing to deal with the consequences of it. He wasn't exactly sure how long he sat with the onmyouji, idly stroking his hair, and suddenly felling very, very tired of this game.

......... Advocate .........

Author's rambling: FUU. Done. Finally. This chapter has been giving me HELL. Nothing really happens in it, so it was hard to reach my word count and not kill myself along the way. HOWEVER, the next chapter is almost finished (idiot wrote it before she finished this one) and should be out soon. XD

By the way. I love love love writing young!Kakyou. This way I get to do what I like with him, and give him, oh, I don't know, A LIFE.

LOVE TO ALL MY VERY VERY PATIENT REVIEWERS....LIKE....MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF LOVE...

Next Chapter: Subaru finally clues in, and the consequences are not pretty. Kakyou realises that his mother won't let him go quite so easily.