A/N: Haaaaay. Haha I really have nothing to say... ._.

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Internal Dialogue
Chapter 6

I had been in Palumpolum for a total of three hours. I was lying on my bed in the Estheim residence, staring up at the ceiling, seriously thinking over what I was doing there.

Everything seemed so rational to me up until that point. Serah was too young to get married; I knew that. So everything seemed necessary – everything, including coming to Palumpolum, was necessary. But now here I was, thinking over what necessity really meant to me.

Sazh said Serah was happy, but he didn't understand. Dajh was still so young and it's so easy to make young kids happy. If a kid likes chocolate, just give him chocolate and he's okay. If a kid likes going to see the ocean, then take her to the ocean and she's okay. But this… this was not chocolate, and this was not the ocean. This was like saying to your chocolate-loving kid: "No, I can't give you chocolate because you might develop a sugar addiction and get high blood pressure and diabetes in the future". This was like saying to your ocean-loving kid: "No, you can't go see the ocean because I'm afraid the copious amounts of sunlight at the beach might give you skin cancer". This was a hundred times more complicated. Sazh was an adult but I think I was being a bit naïve assuming he'd understand.

The doorbell rang – it was like a gong, really. It echoed throughout the whole house. I lay still because, chances are, whoever was at the door was not there for me. I rolled over onto my side and sighed. Should I just go back home? I think… I think I should just let Serah get married. Of course it would kill me, but then she can get this whole marriage thing out of her system – and then see that it was the wrong choice… ugh, no. I wanted to save her from that. I wanted to save her from the realization that she's actually ruining her life. God. What a conflict.

There was a short knock at my door and I sat up to see who it was. I'm assuming this is the random woman Hope kept talking about. She was dressed enough like a housewife that I wouldn't have thought anything of it if I'd seen her walking around. She smiled warmly at me and took a slow step forward. "Miss Farron?" Her voice was sickeningly sweet. But I could see why Hope didn't like her. I'm not saying I agreed, but Hope didn't seem to take too well to people who reeked of fakeness. He didn't like Snow so much, after all. Well, no, Snow was different. Snow was actually just as irritating as he threatened to be, which was admirable, but irritating nonetheless. I'm getting off track.

"Yes?" I replied.

She grinned and glided in towards the bed, reaching for my hands. She took them and gave them a squeeze, "It's so nice to meet you. I must admit that when Hope mentioned a lady friend of his would be stopping by, I'd assumed she was younger." What? "But if Barty doesn't judge, then I won't judge. Hope has always had a mature spirit about him anyway." …um.

The doorbell rang again.

"Is no one going to get that?" I groaned sleepily. I didn't realize I was so sleepy. Must be the bed. Insanely comfortable for a guest room.

"Oh!" She chirped suddenly, putting a hand to her mouth. "I thought Hope might've answered it. I'll be right back." She smiled at me and turned on her heel.

Almost at once, Hope poked out from the door frame. He looked worried, and panicked – and then when he saw the woman, all his frustration turned to anger. He glared her down for a split second before he looked at me, his eyes filling with fear. "Lightning, we have a problem."

I got to my feet, "What kind of problem?"

"It's—" He looked at me and then at the woman. … I just realized I didn't know her name.

The woman smiled at me, and then turned to smile at Hope. "Hope, have you had lunch yet?"

"I – no, I'm not hungry." He scoffed, while waving to me, "Lightning, please, you have to come downstairs."

I slipped by the smiling woman to the doorway and Hope instantly grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the staircase. "Hey, hey – kid – what's going on?" I hissed as I tried to keep up with him. We sped down the stairs just as the doorbell rang again. God, whoever's there isn't going to go away, are they? We both stopped seconds before the front door. Hope pointed fervently at it, his eyes filled with adolescent fear. Really. I rolled my eyes and leaned forward to squint through the peephole and

Serah?

I backed away quickly and glared at Hope. "You called her."

"No, no, I didn't." He whispered – and the ushered me into a corner. "I don't know how she knew you were here but I'm scared. I don't know what to say. Do you want me to tell her?"

"No!" I snapped. "Don't say anything."

"But then what can I say?"

"I don't know. I don't know. Just. Answer the door."

"But—"

I picked him up and dropped him off in front of the door. He looked mortified. I hid behind a large indoor plant off to the side. Hope tried to steady his breathing before he whipped open the door – and put on the fakest smile I'd ever seen. "Serah?" He sounded way too surprised.

"Yeah, hi. Hope, right?" She spoke. She sounded different. I think I was overreacting, though.

"Yes. It's… It's Hope." He chuckled nervously and glanced over at me. Our eyes met for just a second before I shook my head vehemently. He better not say anything about me being here. "What brings you here, to my house, and then to Palumpolum?" Grammatical structure, child!

"Oh," She cleared her throat. "I'm actually looking for my sister." She's lying. She's in Palumpolum because she's getting married. She just came here to show me her ring. "A friend of Snow's called and said he'd seen my sister on the train to Palumpolum but she hasn't called me. I mean, if she came to Palumpolum, she'd call me first. I know she would." Great. Guilt. That's exactly what I needed. "So I told him there's no way it could have been her."

Hope nodded greatly, "Yes. No. There's no way."

"Yeah, right?" She sighed. "But I figured… I mean, I don't know, I called the house and no one picked up, so now I'm just worried. I checked every single hotel in Palumpolum and there's no one with the last name Farron or code name Lightning anywhere."

Hope nodded again. "No. I mean, of course. I mean, why would there be if she's not in Palumpolum? That's just… that's just stupid."

"Right?" She agreed again. "But yeah, I figured that if she was here, she'd probably stay with someone she knew. She's been ridiculously thrifty these days and she hates spending money…" I heard her laugh. Hey. My thriftiness saves us 1000 gil a month, okay. Does she know what 1000 gil can buy—"But I don't know who else she knows in Palumpolum except for you."

Again, Hope nodded. "Of course."

Silence.

"Uh—" Hope choked, shaking his head. "—what I meant to say was that of course you, or I, don't know anyone in Palumpolum that would also know Lightning. That's what I meant."

"Is she here?"

"What?" He squeaked. "Obviously not. If she was here… I mean, if she was really here, I would have called her by now."

"Unless she forced you not to say anything."

Oh, Serah. She knows me too well.

But Hope just shook his head, "Why would she do that? That sounds crazy. She's not crazy and… that's so weird."

"Is it?" Serah asked.

Hope shook his head – and then nodded. "Yes…?"

Silence.

Hope glanced at me and I shook my head again. "Um, she's… did you check…" He cleared his throat and, suddenly, crossed his arms, "Well, okay… Serah," Why did he say her name like that? That tone implies that he doesn't believe 'Serah' is her actual name – except that he knows it's her real name. That's so tactless. "Everything you said makes no sense at all. Why would she be in Palumpolum randomly?" Yes, Hope gets points for adolescent snarkiness. Hopefully she'll be so put off by this that she'll leave and not ask any more questions.

"Oh, right, I thought you knew," She said. "I'm getting married. T-tomorrow, hopefully."

"Oh – oh wow, insanely huge ring. Congratulations." He smiled. What? Did I ask him to side with her? What is this? He took a casual glance in my direction and stopped smiling the instant he saw the glare grafted onto my face. "U-um… well." He re-crossed his arms, looking back at Serah, "Uh. That still doesn't explain anything. Are you getting married in Palumpolum or something?"

"Supposedly…" I think I just heard doubt in her voice. Real, authentic doubt. I'm ecstatic. "I mean, yeah, we are. But it's so hard to… decide on things, you know." She's lying. "I don't know. What am I saying, anyway…" She sighed. "I don't know. I'm sorry for rambling like this."

"… yeah, she's right here."

WHAT.

How – how did I miss this? I swear they were having a moment and now all of a sudden, he's calling me out – what?

"Is she?" Serah's voice lit up. Hope nodded, and then slapped himself on his right cheek. He stepped aside and let her in. I quickly moved away from the plant so it seemed as though I wasn't listening in on their entire conversation from behind an indoor plant... She smiled when she saw me. I tried to rub the glare from my eyes. By the time she was standing in front of me, I looked almost as surprised to see her as she was to see me. She appeared a lot less angry than I thought she would be, though. I do remember her blowing me off to go plan a shotgun wedding with her boyfriend – but no, she looked a lot more reserved now, a lot calmer, and, hopefully, a lot more thoughtful. "Claire, hi," She smiled.

"Serah," I began nervously. I really… I couldn't think of what to say. I bet she wanted an explanation.

"I'm glad you're okay." She said. Her voice sounded sincere.

"Oh," For whatever reason, the thought never once crossed my mind that she would be worried about me. Had I ever given her reason before to worry? I was always okay. "Yeah, of course. I'm just… um," I scratched my cheek softly. "I feel like anything I say will be taken the wrong way, and… result in you hating me for the rest of your life."

Serah cocked her eyebrow at me, "Wow, Claire, way to be optimistic."

"I—" Ugh. See? There's really nothing I can say right now. I just shrugged.

"How come you're in Palumpolum?" She asked suddenly. "You're not trying to kidnap me and persuade me to not get married, are you?"

Play it cool. Don't say anything offensive. "You invited me to your wedding, didn't you? The least I could do is show up." I even faked a small smile.

It didn't look like she was buying it. She bit down on her bottom lip and let her gaze fall down to her feet.

I should just tell her. I know, I know – the last time I said this, she took off to Palumpolum to elope. But I really think that I should tell her that I do care about her and I would prefer she hold off on the marriage thing. There really are no cons to this. If I don't tell her and she gets married tomorrow, I run the risk of killing Snow. If I do tell her, she'll just dislike me for a very long time, but I can deal with that. … I seem to be having these conversations with myself a lot these days.

"Serah?"

"Yes?"

"I'm – okay, I'm going to first say that I think you completely overreacted the last time we had a serious conversation—"

"Um, it was more like you telling me not to get married—"

"—it's – no it was not—"

"—just thought I should put that out there. Yep."

"—but – ugh." I groaned. A failed mission.

"Listen, Claire," She began softly. "I know you're saying this because you're trying to look out for me, and I get that. I completely understand and… I'm really happy that you care. But I'm not doing this to make you angry… you know."

I looked up at her and sighed. "Yes, you are. You're getting married tomorrow to make me angry."

"Okay, so… so I was." She smiled weakly. "I could – we – we, being Snow and I, not you – could postpone it. But you really have to stop making everything about you, because it isn't. I'm not agreeing to marry him just to make you angry—"

"You're not going to university." I interrupted, and she groaned instantly. "Huh? What's that about? You can't sacrifice your future for this, you know."

"I'm deferring my acceptance for a year, but I'll totally go back."

"Deferring a year for what?" I lowered my eyes at her. "For babies?"

She rolled her eyes, "Ugh – see – this is you overreacting again."

"Well – I'm sorry – what exactly are you taking a year off for? Enlighten me." I said. She looked at me and her right eye twitched a little. She was trying to think up a horrible lie to tell me, but I knew I was right. It was for babies. Holy fuck. "You're eighteen. In a year, you'll be nineteen. Neither age requires a baby. In fact, babies are seldom required."

"It's – just in case."

"Oh my God, just in case what?"

"Can we – okay, can we not talk about this right now?" She asked hurriedly and then cast a sideways glance to Hope – oh my God, Hope. What… I completely forgot he was still here. He looked between us, but said nothing.

I shrugged again and crossed my arms, "You're not getting married tomorrow."

"No, I'm not."

Goodness. It worked. I knew it – I knew my five years in the military, Cocoon-wide distinguished rank, and bade of authority had to count for something. "Well—"

"This venue – you'll love it – it's booked solid for tomorrow, so we're going with this Saturday."

… "This Saturday?"

She nodded quickly, "Yes."

… "But that's in two days."

Another nod, "Yes."

… "B-but you don't have a dress!" I snapped. "How… are you planning on getting married in two days?"

"Well," She clasped her hands together, her eyes lighting up. "We have a caterer and a florist and all that good stuff, and Snow knows some guy who knows some guy who knows some guy who plays the piano beautifully and he's free for Saturday – also, you're my family and you're here already so that saves me invitations – everything's working out so well, it's insane!" She giggled and twirled on the spot. "Honestly, at first, when Snow suggested that you might be in Palumpolum trying to hunt him down, I was really angry at you, but then after the venue stuff got sorted out, I realized that everything does happen for a reason… Snow told me so." I bet he did.

"Okay, but you still don't have a dress, so… clearly this isn't going to work out." Hmmm, logic. "You won't even have time to buy one—"

"Stores are still open." She shrugged. "I wouldn't buy it alone anyway. I want you to come with me."

Of course.

"Unless you're busy…?"

I looked at Hope. He looked back at me, wrinkling his nose. "Come on. She's your sister." He said. "If I had an older sister or brother, I'd kill for them to do cool things with me. I mean, we'd go to the beach and then go shopping by the lakeside – and camping and things like that. You're so lucky. I bet you don't even know how lucky you are."

I guess that's my answer.

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Thanks again for reading! And a huge thanks to those of you that comment after every chapter! That's amazing. I appreciate it a lot. :)