One way or another
By: prettyingreenkyz
Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice/ Alice Academy.
Mikan's memory was tampered by the anti-organization before she was saved by the others. Which memory was lost? Will she regain it? Or will she just leave it at that? How far will she go to get it back?
Rating goes up in this chapter:D my first somehow FLUFF fic. please be kind
--edited 11/22/09
Natsume just continues to watch the scene in front of him. The door opened and the doctor entered the room, Natsume excused himself and went out of the room.
The conversation went on and on explaining what Mikan's actions caused her.
"Do you not want to live any longer?" the doctor asked
Mikan stayed silent.
"Mikan?" the doctor asked
"I… I don't know the answer to that question myself, doctor" Mikan said staring at the doctor in the eye.
"I'll leave you by yourself for a while" the doctor nods after a few seconds of silence "just call us if you need anything"
Natsume, Ruka and Hotaru watched Mikan silently as she lay down on her bed just staring at the ceiling completely unaware of the camera recording.
"Do I still want to live?" Mikan asked herself in a whisper
"Hold this" Natsume said handing the small screen to Hotaru
"Where are you going?" Ruka asked him as the other boy stood up
"Mikan's room"
"Whatever for?"
"To knock some sense in her head," Natsume replied "give us some privacy, Imai"
Though Hotaru didn't give any reaction to what he requested, Natsume knew she would.
"I'm serious, Imai" just to make sure, Natsume thought
"Yeah, whatever" Hotaru said turning the screen off "I'll get the talk some other way…"
"I'm sure you will" Natsume mumbles and walked away
--
"There's someone here to see you, Mikan" a cheerful nurse went in Mikan's room after she knocked on Mikan's door.
"Who is it?" Mikan asked not in the mood to talk to someone
"Me" Natsume answered for the nurse as he steps away to look at Mikan
"Oh"
"Disappointed?" he asked
"Honestly?"
Natsume just gave her a look.
"Yes… I'm not really in the mood to talk to anyone" Mikan said "especially with you"
"What do you mean by that?" Natsume asked
"I'm quite tired, miss" Mikan ignoring Natsume's question
"Are you?" the nurse asked grabbing Mikan's chart to check if she had any interaction with anyone within the pass hour. Just the doctor and that was like 30 minutes ago.
"Yes" Mikan said with a firm voice. Why can't she just kick Natsume out? She thought sulkily.
"Don't worry. I'll talk you listen" Natsume said "you won't get tired doing that would you?"
"I suppose" Mikan sighed in defeat. She's got a feeling that Natsume won't give up until he does what he came to do.
"Good…" Natsume said and waited till the nurse left the room.
"What do you want?" Mikan demanded as soon as she heard the door lock click.
Natsume gave her another look that made her feel like a slug on his shoes, ready to be squished to death.
"Is that a trick question?" Natsume asked
"No, just answer the question so you can go on with your life"
"Speaking of which--do you still want yours?" Natsume said making eye contact.
"Why are you asking me that?" Mikan asked after a while. She herself didn't know the answer just like what she answered to the doctor.
"I need to know" Natsume answered her "now answer the question"
Silence.
Natsume released his breath harshly and cried "How do you suppose I get on with life if the one person I love doesn't even know if she wants to live anymore?"
"How did you kn--"
"Because I know so!" Natsume snapped and started pacing. It's been a while since my temper got the best of me, he thought. "Now will you please figure it out so I won't be stuck in this state?—this state of not knowing if anything is worth living! Yes, Mikan! You're worth dying for! Don't tell me that you're not because that's just plain—stupid! Moronic even!" he was starting to flail his hands in agitation. "How could you be so stupid? You should have noticed that you're worth dying for when we rescued you before! You should have realized that we risked our necks to save you! And yet what do we get? You trying to kill yourself!"
"I wasn't trying to kill myself," Mikan said calmly not affected by Natsume's ranting. For all she know he might have been practicing this for ages.
"Will you please tell me what you were doing then?" Natsume asked after taking a calming breath
"I was trying to gain the memories I stupidly lose!" Mikan suddenly shouted the controlled temper of Natsume now transferring into her own
"How many times do we—I have to tell you, not to blame your—"Natsume began getting his emotions in control knowing that both of them being at the point of their temper is bad. One must remain calm.
"And how many times do I have to tell you that I don't care if you think I'm not to blame because if one thinks about it long enough he would think of all the reasons why he is to be blamed!" Mikan cried "and that happened to me! I was able to think about it long enough!"
"Okay… blame all you want…" Natsume sighed, the fight in his body simply disappearing. He sat himself on the bed and held Mikan's hand where her tears fell "does it help to say I'm sorry?"
"It makes it worse" Mikan sobbed
"Still," Natsume said lifting a hand to brush away loose hair strands blocking her face and started to caress her cheek "I'm sorry I made you feel stupid… bad… blamed… and sad… I didn't mean to…" each word he enumerated he kissed away Mikan's tears on her face
"Natsume…" Mikan whispered voice full of sorrow and something Natsume cannot recognize. Pain? Love?
"Yes, Mikan?" Natsume asked still kissing away Mikan's tears on her face. She felt him smile on her face "I always wanted to do that" he said as an explanation
"Natsume…" she whispered again, nuzzling her face to his neck, arms around his waist. She was sorely tempted to bury her face there and sleep all the time in the world with him, cocooned in warmth, safety and love.
"Hmm?" he asked against her hair, he left a kiss there
"Why are you doing this to me?" her question muffled. He could feel Mikan's lips moving on his neck
"What am I doing to you?" Natsume rested his head on Mikan's.
"This…" she sighs making Natsume shiver with the sudden warm breath on his skin. She knew she was being tested for what reason she's not aware of "Why are you confronting me with this topic?"
"Because I want you to live…" he wraps his arms around Mikan
"But what's the point of living?" Mikan she asked so confused. Lost in her own world, her own suffering, she felt like giving up. She knew the other didn't know but she hoped he would give her something.
Natsume stayed silent. How Mikan can ask him such a question is beyond him. So with romance all over his head he answered in only a way he can—being her lover that is. That made him wonder, are they still lovers? She did forget about me… so I guess we're not an item anymore… but why is she still not complaining with all that I'm doing to her? This is so messed up.
"Maybe this can give you some ideas" Natsume whispered removing one of his hands around Mikan and used a knuckle directing Mikan's face to his. He gazed at her. "Beautiful" he whispered. He traced her cheek with a knuckle, pushed back strands of hair behind her ear. He slowly leaned in to Mikan's face and teasingly showered her face with light kisses. He hovered near Mikan's lips and looked at Mikan for permission.
Mikan didn't know what came over her but she slowly put her hand on the back Natsume's head and pushed his head to hers making their lips touch. Natsume looked shock but pleased with her actions.
Natsume tightened his hold on Mikan's waist while her arms around Natsume's neck tightened.
They both drew out from the kiss for being out of breath. They smirked at each other and Natsume decided to bring the topic that's been bothering him a while ago.
"I have a question" Natsume said with his brow furrowed "are we an item? Cause you might think I'm someone who kisses strangers just for my pleasure"
Mikan smiles after a while and said "let me check" She pushes Natsume down on the bed lying on top of him with a mischievous grin and twinkling eyes. Natsume smirked at her, waiting for her to initiate anything. Mikan swoops in for a kiss. She herself didn't know why she did that or why she's doing the stuff she's doing now maybe it's all because of the depression, she reasoned.
Their kiss went deeper this time, there was some tounge involved. Not that Natsume complained, but he was just shock that Mikan, not knowing anything about him, would do such a thing. If this were the old Mikan it would have been alright, but she isn't. I feel like I'm taking advantage of her vulnerability.
"Yeah, we're definitely were an item" Mikan smiled at him. She brushes away the hair from Natsume's pretty face and kisses his forehead "I know why we stayed so long as an item… you're a good kisser"
Natsume smirked and lifted his head a bit catching Mikan's bruised pink lips on his own for a second "the question is, what about now?"
"Yeah, definitely" Mikan smiles at him.
Natsume smiles at her and flip them over. Now, he was straddling Mikan's body. He traps Mikan's body under his own, he looks down on her and asked seriously, "Did you by any chance got your question answered?"
"Yeah," Mikan grinned "you're definitely worth living for, Natsume"
--
TBC