I still have like 8 papers to grade before tomorrow, but I couldn't stop writing on this chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter 6

This wasn't a good idea. Well, the entire James scheme (Merlin's brilliant idea) had seemed rather innocuous at the time, but this was madness. She'd pushed the line enough by fighting Merlin, but drinking with Merlin…madness.

Yet as she walked through the stone courtyard of the citadel dressed as James, she couldn't regret it. Merlin had seemed so sincere as he asked James to come drinking with the lads. On some level it felt as if maybe she had somehow passed the man test. Drinking at the local tavern was a decidedly manly adventure. She'd heard enough of Arthur's stories to know that most of the knights and male servants frequented the Rising Sun.

And if she was honest, she'd always wanted to know what the big deal was. As Lady Morgana, she could never go to the Rising Sun. But as James, squire to Sir Kaye, she was more than welcome. And she meant to take advantage of that invitation.

James pulled open the door and was immediately assaulted with a myriad of sights, sounds, and smells. The titter of barmaid's laugh and raucous chuckle of men. The bitter smell of ale and sweat. The vivid red of the knights' cloaks in the darkened room.

It was easy to find Merlin. He was seated at a back table surrounded by Camelot's knights. While he was unusually tall, he wasn't nearly as bulky as the rest of the knights at the table. He was also wearing his trademark blue neckerchief. Adorable.

He saw James and waved him to the table, "Tuck in, gents, we have a new addition."

Merlin introduced everyone at the table, although Morgana already knew most of the men. "Wait, do I know you? You look rather familiar," asked Sir Leon, his gaze quizzical. He as well as several of Camelot's finest were present.

But before James could think of an adequate answer that, Merlin said "I said the same thing when I first met him. He has a twin sister who lives in Camelot. You've probably seen her."

Thankfully, a bar wench brought a new tray of ale at just that moment, saving James from questions. Merlin handed one of the pewter tankards to James.

"Let's toast, shall we?" said Sir Leon.

"To the future King!" echoed the call around the table.

"To the prat!" Merlin muttered beside her.

Taking a large swallow of the ale, she wasn't sure what to make of the drink. She'd never had ale before. The King thought it unseemly for women to drink anything more than watered down wine and he made sure that no one served such a drink to a lady like her. The taste was bitter and biting but good. Taking another sip, very good. The amber brew could grow on one and with several more sips, she knew that weak wine wasn't quite her drink.

"Enjoying it, are you?" said Merlin, a strange glint in his eye.

"Yes. It's delicious. My gu—I mean, my sister has an aversion to ale and won't keep it in the house. This is the first I've tasted and I think it might be my drink of choice."

"Good to know," said Merlin secretively.

She finished her pint and a fuzzy sort of warmth was spreading through her body. The knights were telling jokes and every one of them seemed hilarious. She found herself laughing as raucously as the rest. She was careful to keep the feminine pitch out of her giggle but it was difficult.

Another round of ale was brought around as Sir Leon finished his latest story about how he got a horse stuck in the mud as a squire. Another knight, Sir Ector said, "I'd expect as much from you, Leon. But enough stories for now, let's play a game. My favorite, Swive, Marry, or Kill."

"What's Swive, Marry or Kill?" said James, emboldened by the second pint of ale and eager to know more about what men did in a tavern.

With a devious smile, the knight started "Glad you asked, my young squire. It's a game where someone names three people and you have to decide which of them you would swive, marry, or kill. The rules are rather strict. You can only swive the person once. And the person you marry you can't swive. The person you kill has to be killed by your own hand."

"That sounds fair. But what's swiving?" James asked innocently. She knew that she'd asked something inappropriate when all the knights burst into laughter.

Merlin took pity and answered laughingly, "It's sex. The person you would copulate with."

"Oh," she said, blushing. Swive indeed. So it was that type of game. She'd heard the maids talk of men's…erotic mind games, but here she was privy to it. How delicious!

"Yes, oh," said the knight. "Let's start with Sir Leon there. Mary (the Shepard's daughter), Lady Eline, and let's say…Sir Kaye's sister, Lady Sarah."

Leon looked contemplative and then said, "Well, Sir Kaye would likely kill me for swiving his sister, so I'll marry Lady Sarah. And while Lady Eline is lovely, she'll have to go. Because if there was one woman in that group I'd like to swive, it's definitely Mary. Definitely."

"Here, here," said several of the other knights.

Leon smiled and said, "Now it's your turn, Pellinore. Lady Eline, Elizabeth (one of the castle's maids), and Lady Joanna, Ector here's sister."

Pellinore replied sarcastically, "Thanks for the easy choices, Leon…Alright, so like you, I've no wish to darken Ector's stare anymore than necessary, so I'd clearly marry his sister. And since Joanna accidentally dropped an entire bowl of hot soup on my lap several weeks ago, I'd have to kill her. Which means that I'll swive Lady Eline."

Everyone laughed at the image of the clumsy maid and the hot soup on Pellinore's lap. Another round of ale was brought as Merlin said, "How do you know it was an accident?" and everyone laughed. James took another tankard but began to sip slower. It wouldn't do well for her to get drunk in this group of men. Two pints already had a very pleasant effect on her, no need to push it.

"Cheeky, aren't you, Merlin? Well, let's see how you fare. And let's make this one difficult. Very difficult," said Pellinore, rather smug.

"Make it as difficult as you like," said Merlin, taking a deep gulp of his pint.

"Oh, I will. Let's see….how about Lady Vivien….Guinevere…and Lady Morgana," finished Pellinore smirking.

She found herself suddenly very interested in this one and particularly, in Merlin's reaction. Maybe she should be offended that the knights were including her in such a salacious game…but since it was Merlin who had to answer, well, it didn't seem quite so sordid. Indeed, she was intrigued. A slight flush stained his cheeks and she wasn't sure if it was from the ale or embarrassment. Very intrigued.

He took a couple more swigs of ale before he answered. His brow was a bit furrowed and the rest of the knights waited silently for Merlin's answer.

"Alright, I'll play your game, Pellinore. Kill, obviously Lady Vivien. I doubt her father would let any man marry her, let alone swive her. Besides, I hear she's rather haughty."

"That's one, Merlin. Keep going," egged on Pellinore.

"I'd swive….Guinevere," said Merlin, his eyes glancing at her. She felt her eyes widen as she drew in a deep breath; that meant that he wanted to marry her.

"So that means, I would marry Lady Morgana," he finished and downed the last of his ale.

"Wait, wait," said Leon, "that doesn't sound like you. Why not marry Guinevere? And swive Lady Morgana? I always thought there was something going on between you and Gwen."

"You'll have to buy me another pint to get the answer to that," said Merlin, again, glancing at James.

"Well, by all means," said Leon, motioning for another round.

She grabbed another one off the tray, but as soon as everyone's eyes were turned she dumped rest of her third pint and half of her fourth onto the floor. She didn't want to be muddled when she heard Merlin's answer.

"We still want an answer," said Ector. "You'll not get out of this so easily."

Merlin took another long swig of his ale and started, "There's nothing between Gwen and I..well, we kissed once but that's it."

"You kissed Gwen?" said James, surprised.

"Actually, she kissed me. But it didn't mean anything. I'd nearly died, she was just being nice," said Merlin. There was a strange look in his eyes. It almost looked like comfort.

"Well, if there's nothing between you and Gwen, why not just marry her? Lady Morgana is very beautiful, I'm sure you'd somehow manage," asked Ector suggestively.

Maybe she should've been slightly offended (and a little flattered) by Ector's comments, but she was anxious to hear Merlin's answer. Did he find her unattractive? Was it because of Uther?

"Lady Morgana is more than beautiful. She's a goddess sent to earth to torment men like me. Her eyes are like fiery emeralds and her lips are pure sin. Once would never be enough. I don't think I could ever get enough of her. So I'd rather be near her, crave her, for the rest of my life than have one fleeting moment of pleasure," Merlin said, the words tumbling out rapidly.

Her sinful lips were agape as she shifted to stare at him. Merlin was waxing poetic about her. In a tavern, no less. She blushed, no one had ever said anything so…earnest. The words that had spilled from his lips were genuine. Passionate. There was an unholy glow to his face when he had spoken of her and just a touch of sadness. He couldn't have affected her more had he actually touched her. His words were like a warm caress. She felt a flutter in her stomach and her heart beat faster. He thought about her that way?

Yet even in his ale-altered state, he must've realized how much he'd shared. The entire table was uncomfortably silent after such an intense profession. He mumbled, "Well…that is.. I mean…it's someone else's turn. Umm, James. Same game. Same ladies." Merlin drained his pint nervously and called for another.

Still recovering from his words, James started, "Oh. Umm, ok."

Pausing to consider what the best and most manly answers would be, James said, "I'd swive Lady Morgana, marry Gwen, and I would also kill Lady Vivien."

After another long drink from his tankard, Merlin asked, "Why do you want to marry Gwen?" While his voice wasn't slurred, he was definitely louder and more aggressive than before.

"Oh, you know, she's nice and I respect her. I think she'd make a good wife," said James nervously.

That seemed to satisfy Merlin and she said picked another knight along with three other ladies. They played for another half an hour, everyone laughing at the responses and some of the men, making inappropriate comments. It was fun. And while Merlin laughed with the rest of them, he seemed slightly distant. He drained another pint and by the end of the night, it was clear he was drunk.

The other knights slowly departed. In the end it was just Merlin, Sir Leon, and James. As they all stood to get up, it was obvious that Merlin would need some assistance getting home.

Leon looked to James, and he said, "I'll make sure he gets home."

"Who needs help getting home?" said Merlin, comically stumbling.

"Don't worry," said James to Leon. It actually worked out perfectly. She needed a reason to enter the castle and Arthur's drunken manservant would pass muster for sure.

"Come on, Merlin. Let's get you back to the castle," said James, helping Merlin to stand and throwing his arm over her shoulder.

She knew he was strong. But to have evidence of that strength pressed intimately against her shoulders and against her side was rather unnerving. And arousing.

They ambled into the street, Merlin shuffling along with her help. .

He sniffed the side of her head rather loudly and said "You smell nice."

"Umm, thanks," James said nervously.

He went out as if James hadn't spoken, "And you're pretty. What a strange lad, you are."

"I suppose," said James.

"Arthur says I'm supposed to figure out your secrets. Do you have any secrets?" he asked. Suddenly serious he said, "You can tell me, you know. I'm great with secrets. I have loads of them. Mine, other people's, Arthur's, Gwen's, mine…I'm really good. I mean, I'm great with secrets. Like amazing with secrets"

Chuckling, James said, "What kind of secrets do you have?"

"Well, there's the Morgana secret. I know the other knights don't get my feelings but I meant every bloody word. Every blood word. Besides, she and I, we're like… the same," he whispered the last part with soft intensity.

"What do you mean we're, I mean, you and Lady Morgana the same?" James asked, quizzically.

"Now that, I can't tell you. It's my biggest secret," he said, his voice humorous and serious at the same time. Almost childlike.

"Oh alright," she said, still puzzled.

They walked on, passing a few guards who merely nodded in response to the young man carrying along his drunk friend.

"You know, I'm not supposed to like you. But I do. If Arthur wasn't my best friend, you'd be my best friend," slurred Merlin.

"Yeah?" she said, pleased for James.

"Absolutely yeah. But there's the whole Gwen thing and Arthur loves Gwen and he hates you," dramatic sigh, "It's complicated. Like always. And more secrets."

They were meandering down the hall to the physician's chambers, "That does sound complicated. I'm sorry."

"Thank you!" said Merlin. "No one ever thanks me for my trouble. It's nice."

"Shhh," she said, chuckling a bit at his enthusiasm. "We're almost to your place. We don't want to wake up Gaius."

"True. He wakes up worse than a dragon. And I know dragons."

They stopped outside the physician's chambers, "Can you get to your room alright?"

"Absolutely. I'm not a child," said Merlin.

"Alright, well, goodnight," said James, removing Merlin's arm from her shoulder.

"Goodnight, buddy," he said and before she knew it, he had pulled her into a tight hug. She was unprepared for the assault it had on her senses. His arm around her shoulder pulled her flush against him and she felt the same delicious warmth of his touch from their last encounter in a hallway. She thought she heard him murmur "smells nice" but the hug was brief. He pulled away and carefully opened the door. As it closed, he peeked out and gave her a thumbs-up and a smile.

Sighing, she snuck back to her room. While the evening had been fun and very enlightening, she was left with more questions than answers. Why did Arthur hate James? What was Merlin's big secret?

But the one question that plagued her as her eyes closed for the night: Was it just the ale? Or did Merlin really feel that way about her?

FINIS

Ah, poor Merlin, thwarted by his own enterprise! Drunk Merlin is quite a bit of fun to write. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I got the names for the other knights (Ector and Pellinore) from Wikipedia, just some other men who are often written as Knights of the Round Table and such. As for the verb swive-it's actually a Shakespearean term and something that you rarely see anymore. A pity, as it has a nice sound to it. My friends and I often play the same game at bars with the same strict rules. In a recent one game, I had to choose between Jacob, Edward, or Jasper. I choose to swive Jacob, marry Edward, and kill Jasper. My reason for marrying Edward was similar to Merlin's. (Although I said something much more crass about how being near Edward Cullen would fuel enough of my sexual fantasies for a few years.) I have a dirty mind, which is why I write this type of fiction.

Please review! Come on, I did get this chapter up rather quickly.