Author's Note: Back again with chapter 6, what's up! I am very sorry for leaving this for so long but no time/no motivation is not a good combination. I have 309383490853 corrections for assignments and then still have assignments to finish and ugh. A week or two more and updates will be frequent again after this.
I'd do a recap but I can't remember what the fuck happened last chapter.
Enjoy xx
Chapter 22.
AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1 I can't tell if they're friends again or not but tbh I really don't care. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. By any chance did Harry come up with that nickname? Well anyway, I woke up the next day. Shame. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped. Did she gasp because she didn't know she was wearing pyjamas?
Standing in front of me where…. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow! So they were all just standing there staring at your closed coffin? Cos that's not creepy at all.
I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top oh jesus Christ, tell me shes not going to give me a description of everyone's outfit I will actually die of old age by the time she's done. with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words ow the edge. and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) who the fuck is jenny? Who the fuck is darkness? When did they get here? was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. Uhm why. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire. OF COURSE THEY WERE. Also do they all have the same dad? Lmao awkward. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. Thought vampires couldn't die from this? He had raped them and stuff before too. Family bonding time. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism. Fucking really.
"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?" I'm so glad she told me everyone's outfit, the backstory of 4 characters AND THEN got freaked out by all these people standing there.
"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said. Where the fuck do we begin?
"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.
"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice. Jesus Christ. I would actually break up w my boyfriend on the spot if he ever said this what the fuck. "we have to go now" yeah we all just crowded into your room to stare at your coffin while you slept but now that you're actually awake we gotta bounce lmao bye.
"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective." Suddenly, she's calm. Also "erective" what. What does that mean? Does she mean secretive?
"I will I will." he said.
So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. She came from looking at her makeup. Now that's self love. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. Yeah we all walked into the great hall, walked over to a window and just stared out of it. Not weird at all. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Can you imagine a group of goths simultaneously sticking up their middle fingers at some poor girl while they all gawked out of a window? That's fucking sinister af. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Wait, are are outside the great hall or in it? Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too. Genderswapped Fudge, lovely.
"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!" uhm why?
"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge. Uhm?
"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!" YOUR ALZHEIMER'S IS DANGEROUS HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. "you must retry" yeah Dumbledore, reload from your last save point mate and try again.
"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…..Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." Yeah, fuck you Harry.
Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped. She really needs to stop doing that.
Chapter 23.
AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha! She got 10000 reviews. I'm sure they were all positive too. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us. Are you inside or outside the great hall? I am so confused on positioning right now.
"MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" genderswapped Enoby. Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her. Yeah he just blasted noise at Umbridge.
"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!" hahahahahaha, brilliant.
Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. Yeah they were all just standing outside look at these fucking weirdo goth kids gawking in the windows of the great hall. Every single one. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. Same. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. Oh jesus Christ is ville valo still a thing? UPDATE I googled it and yeah HIM has announced they're disbanding, adios. Never liked their music. I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. We still don't have that cereal and that's still really gross. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother. Yeah Harry and Draco are re-enacting Columbine.
"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked. Yeah guys, school shootings are kind of annoying now.
"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1" UHM. He want's to SHIT next to you? Yeah no sorry that's really fucking gross, run like fuck enoby.
"No I do!" shouted.
"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco. Are they actually debating on who gets to sit next to enoby and take a shit in her fuckin cheerios?
"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire. I thought harry was gay and in love with draco, why is this an argument? And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other. Lovely. Do Dylan and Eric not turn the guns on themselves in the end?
Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. Yes we get it, Voldemort had really dodgy plastic surgery, it's not nice to bring up these things all the time. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Why is she being mentioned? Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating love how she was just eating her cereal while watching harry and draco have a scrap on the floor.….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent….Volzemort! again we got that.
"Eboby…..Ebony…." Darth Valer who the fuck is that sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!" yeah bitch you got 10 seconds to murder harry with a spoon, go.
"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.
"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling. Was he not just about to kill her and harry?
I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. They came to what. just pick the bitch up, roll her into a ball and mail her away. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. No one's eyes look good like that, shush. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way. To be fair, if Draco's already slitting his wrists, what's actually gonna happen is Voldemort is just going to watch him slit his wrists like "don't forget, it's sideways for attention, up and down for results, bitch"
"No!" I screamed sexily. ? not relevant? Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.
"Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice. Aye she's grand.
"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.
"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive. Pfft, what a pussy.
"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. PLEASE CAN SOMEONE LOOK AT THAT. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"nice.
"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though." Why? Is this meant to be sinistra? Cos she teaches astronomy if I remember right.
"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went. Don't be fucking rude, jesus.
Chapter 24.
AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions. I'm pretty sure deviation is the more accurate name for that lesson to be fair.
"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. I sighed so hard my lungs burst. She smelled at me your teacher walked up and sniffed you, that's not weird at all. with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair she had long dead hair, that's disgusting. with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b'loody mry get along grate I'm loving this low key racism) She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. Not appropriate for a teacher We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong who the fuck is that?. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it. Ugggggggggggggggh really.
"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?" yes, where did you get your nail polish that comes with complete pentagram designs? Teachers don't ask this until they have finished teaching.
"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. Everyone knows what hot topic is, shut up. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?" literally wait until after class, I hate people that fucking do this. Other people want to get on with their shit.
"Ho about now?" she asked. In reality, "after class"
"OK." I said.
"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. nah bitch. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3." Wow this bitch is getting fired pronto.
"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 die. You had one, shut the fuck up.
Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it. That's not practical for a crystal ball.
"What do you c?" she asked.
"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram." Of course, why am I not surprised.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes. Congress makes shoes now, yep.
"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Sinister. Really not appropriate, especially since these people are 17. I am 19, going on 20, and my teachers don't talk like this, it's not professional.
"Bye bitch." I said waving. ? no.
I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited. Why are you leaving? I thought Sinistra was going to tell you about your visions? Why are you going somewhere with draco and harry that you apparently already know about?
Chapter 25.
AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 lovely. FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1 XXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car. Isn't harry with them?
"Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine. That doesn't sound vaguely threatening at all. And was it not Sinistra?
"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." No she didn't, you just walked out. I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. Alright, I don't do the ~illegals~ so im just gonna go ahead and say, no that's wrong, He started to fly the car into a tree. UHM WHAT THE FUCK?! HE'S TRYING TO KILL YOU BOTH. We went to the top of it. NO YOU DIDN'T YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD COS HE JUST SMASHED YOU BOTH INTO A TREE. Draco put on some MCR. Well im glad the fucking stereo works during this moment when you've become one with a tree.
"And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. Did she say we started peeling cloves? That's a weird hobby. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. Again with the chaffing. Also are they gonna buck on a tree? I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily. This is so sexy, I'm almost orgasming just at the thought alone.
"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. IT'S BACK OH MY GOD. Suddenly… I fell asleep. Wow, is he that shit in bed? I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair. MORE RACISM YAY.
"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car. He ran away in a car, is this the Flintstones? Lmao I can imagine that so vividly.
"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice.
"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes. Bitch you just passed out while doing the do.
I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face.please get that looked at. I told Draco to call Vampire. Why? He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. That's cringy. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where… Lucian and Serious!111 remember when Lucius and Sirius were best mates? Me too.
Chapter 26.
AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11 I mean you kind of were like. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A few mutates she spent 5 minutes mutating into random forms. Draco just thought he was having a really bad acid trip. later Vampire came 2 da tree. Why are we all hanging out in a fucking tree? Are you telling me the forbidden forest has tree houses now? He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt. Still gross. And Hogwarts still has a uniform.
"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob. That's very contradictory. Also why are you flirting with him, I thought you hated the guy? AND YOUR BOYFRIEND IS RIGHT THERE. Draco hugged me sexily how do you hug your crying girlfriend sexily? Hang on I'll ask my boyfriend. RIGHT this is his response: "how I'd make it sexy is I'd wear some fancy af sexy lingerie because I'm sexy and I'm hugging you so then you get a sexy hug" comedy gold right there, I love him. tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened. Please go see your GP, thanks.
"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that!" wait, is it a thing that happened? Did she see it as it was happening or was it happening in the future? What is the ongoing plot to this story I swear to god.
"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor." That is definitely a first for enoby, I figured she wouldn't want to tell him since he's a posr prep or whatever the fuck she's calling them.
We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office. I thought it was near impossible to get into his office. Imagine this bitch having to guess wizard sweets trying to guess the password to get in. She probably would have made the password something like "Beyonce rulez" or something.
"Sire are dads have been shot!" right, Lucius is his da, but since when the fuck did Sirius have a child? Oh fuck don't tell me it's Enoby I will commit. Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. Everyone in the room stood around draco and wiped his face while he cried. That's not weird at all. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem." You coulda just said she had a vision like. You basically just admitted that she fell asleep in the middle of some pretty disappointing sex. Self roast.
Dubleodre started to cockle. He started to what. I looked up cockle and the closet thing relevant to this is "Berwick cockles" a Scottish mint. Nice. Dumbledore clearly gives a shit about this. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?" lmao Dumbledore is me, he's on to this bitch.
I glared at Dumbledore. Hahaha she's just mad she got caught out.
"Look motherfucker."OH SHIT. he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter what the hell does this say?). "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Is this not "he said" I thought draco or harry was speaking. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!" bitch, come on now, Dumbledore ain't the fuckin Minister of Magic aight, you can't expect him to do this shit. Like obviously he can, but you don't walk up to Dumbledore and demand this shit, especially over a dream.
"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?" yes the most powerful wizard in the world is afraid of these 3 dicks. Enoby's defensive spell is throwing Hermione's cat at things, we don't know much about Draco's magical ability other than he's not as good as Harry, and Harry's fuckin shite, he can do like one powerful spell that is useless in this moment.
I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon." Longdon. The capital of the UK is… Longdon. Amazing. I said. I told him which street. Uh huh. He went and called some people and did some stuff. The best summary of what Dumbledore does ever. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. Bitchin. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. Oh it's alright they've been found, don't care how they are, adios. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office I thought she said they were going to their rooms? while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. LMAO ME. "bye guys, just gonna go slit my wrists in my room" We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Lovely.Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers making out in the nurses office after Lucius and Sirius have been shot but yolo lets make out. ….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1 why is that suspenseful? What?
Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u and we're back with chapter names YAY. Bet Harry does something really annoying in this chapter.
AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111 same boo. XXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- tumblr meme "and everyone started clapping" is back again. I had saved them. Uhm no, you had a vision about them being shot, there's still a chance they could be very dead. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine. I love how these two had to be brought in on stretchers after being shot but they're fuckin grand to stand up and give Enoby a hug, despite not knowing this girl, because she had a dream about them.
"Cum on Enoby." said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it uhm. and fuking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the fucking perdition." Jesus, unnecessary cursing much? And this is coming from me.
I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded. SERIFS. LMAO, SOMEONE IS LITERALLY A FUCKING FONT, AMAZING.
I smelled happily you smelled happy? Ok? You can smell emotions now? and went into a dark room. Not creepy at all. I had changed ? Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She pulled out some cards and started looking into a ball? Is there a reason for this? She said… "Tara, I see drak times are near." Wrong name boo. She said badly. Badly? How can she say it badly? Is she just learning English or something? She peered into da balls. "You see, you must go back in time." Oh boy, cant wait to see the reasoning behind this. She took out a Time-Toner like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Yeah someone broke his fireplace and he never got over it. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?"probably like. Is Voldemort not incapable of love? Isn't that why he gets killed by Harry? I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him. This bitch just watched Chamber of Secrets and realised what a fucking babe Tom Riddle is. I don't blame you girl. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. Would it not make sense to go back and kill him instead of gambling whether or not Tom Riddle, who is smokin af, wants to buck this wee tramp from the future who is bipolar as fuck?You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."
"Okay." I said sadly. Sadly. SADLY. HAVE U SEEN TOM RIDDLE? BYE BYE DRACO. We did dethz tuch sin. Google translate. I went outside again sadly. This bitch does everything sadly. Fuckin same boo.
"What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire.
"Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary? Boldy mary. And when did these bitches get here?
I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. ? you were going to tell them but they were there? What? They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Yeah, Lucius and Sirius are fond of each other now, it's a fuckin miracle. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. Bitch no. No one is proud of you. They were cheesing my name cheesing. and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. Why the fuck is there reporters and why are they trying to interview Dumbledore? It's not that big of a deal that Lucius and Sirius are mates now, fuck sake. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. If they've never heard of HIM, why are they drawing the heartagram on their hands? Shut the fuck up. Although I will applaud this bitch knowing who HIM are, they're pretty damn obscure for 13 year olds. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. Yeah the cat was buzzin. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley's Whizard Wises. All this cos she fell asleep during some shitty sex. Amazing.
I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether. WOOT threesome!
FIN.