Chapter 6- Early Morning

She lay next to him, feeling the cool silk of her cream colored nightgown on her skin and the tears flowing down her cheeks. This was supposed to be the happiest night of her life, and instead she was terrified of what tomorrow would bring. He reached up and brushed the tears from her face, whispering words of comfort.

"I want to memorize every line on your face," she whispered through her tears. "The way you smile. The way your eyes shine when you look at me." She broke down, the tears coming harder and faster than before. "I'll remember everything when you're gone."

"Don't say 'when,' okay? Don't say 'when'" he begged. 'Anything could happen. Okay? Anything could happen."

"But tomorrow you have to go," she said in despair.

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow doesn't exist, baby. It doesn't exist. Hey, the world could end in five minutes or five days or five decades from now. There's no point in thinking about it. Okay? All we have is- all we have is right now, this moment, right here. That's all that matters."

She leaned down and kissed her husband, loving him so much it was almost painful.

Nikolas frowned as Emily moaned in her sleep and moved restlessly.

Suddenly, the lips pressed against hers changed. They were no longer the loving ones of her husband. They were hard, relentless, forced upon her against her will. They were Connor's. She was back in the basement, trapped, helpless. Her heart was pounding as she struggled to break free, to escape, but it was no use. She could feel his breath, his hands on her as he tore at her clothes. She could hear her screams pounding in her own ears as she fought desperately. No, no, no, no…

"No, no, NO!" Emily cried, thrashing on the bed, trapped between sleep and consciousness.

"Em-Emily, baby, wake up. It's just a dream, honey. It's just a dream," Nikolas said soothingly, wanting to comfort her but not sure how. Before he would have simply wrapped his arms around her and held her, but he couldn't do that now. He hesitantly reached out to touch her shoulder.

"Get off me! Don't touch me, Connor! Don't touch me!" Emily screamed, slapping his hand away. She looked at him with wide, unseeing eyes, still locked in the nightmare of her mind.

"Sweetheart, it's me, Nikolas. It's just a nightmare. You're safe."

"Nikolas." Emily blinked and looked around, taking in her surroundings and freeing herself from her nightmare. As she remembered, her gaze flew back to Nikolas. Nikolas. Her husband. She had just attacked him, done the one thing she had never wanted to do again. She hadn't been able to separate them in her mind. "Oh God…" she whispered. "Oh God." Needing to escape, to get away, to be anywhere where she wouldn't have to think of the pain she had just caused Nikolas, Emily leapt off the bed and practically ran for the door, completely forgetting her shoes and coat.

Nikolas was faster. He beat her to the door and stood in front of it, effectively blocking her exit. "Emily…" he began, but Emily cut him off.

"Nikolas, please move. I can't- I need to get out of here."

"Emily please. Please don't run away. Please don't shut me out," Nikolas begged. "Baby, please let me help you. We can get through this if you just let me in. Talk to me, yell at me, do whatever you want. But allow me to support you. I'm here for you no matter what."

With a sob, Emily collapsed into his arms. She clung to him as her cries wracked her body, her tears soaking through the cotton of his shirt. Nikolas slowly wrapped his arms around her, gently rubbing her back while attempting to clam her down. "Shh, it's okay. It's all right. I've got you, baby. I'm here."

"I'm so-sorry," Emily managed to say through her tears. "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right, Em. There's nothing to be sorry for." Nikolas continued to hold her; thankful she was at least allowing him that.

Emily pulled back to look him in the eye. "How can you say that?" she asked in disbelief, her cheeks wet with tears. "That's the second time I've attacked you because I thought you were Connor."

"Baby, you were still trapped in your nightmare. You didn't know what you were doing. You were still half-asleep."

"But I couldn't separate you in my mind." She wiped her eyes with her hands. "I'm so sorry, Nikolas."

"It's okay, Em." His hands covered hers on his shoulders. "Do you feel up to telling me what happened?"

Emily managed to nod. Nikolas took her gently by the hand and led her back to the bed. They both sat. Nikolas continued to hold her hand lightly in his.

"At first, I was dreaming of our wedding night," she began in a soft voice. "I was…I was so happy to be your wife, regardless of everything else. But at the same time, I was terrified of what the future would hold for the both of us. You told me to just focus on the moment, that anything could happen. Remember?"

Nikolas nodded silently, not wanting to interrupt her.

"And then we kissed," Emily continued, her voice becoming more agitated. "But then my dream changed, and all of the sudden it wasn't you. I was back in the basement, and Connor was forcing himself on me. I was trying to fight him off, and that's when I woke up, and well, you know the rest." She looked into his eyes, seeing that they were glazed with unshed tears.

Nikolas couldn't speak, couldn't force any sound past the lump that had formed in his throat. "Em-" his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "Emily, I'm so sorry." A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Why on earth are you apologizing, Nikolas?" She hated seeing that pain in his eyes, hated knowing that she had put it there. "I'm the one who should be apologizing for hurting you like this."

"The only thing that hurts me is seeing how much pain all this has caused you, and knowing that I'm partly to blame."

"Nikolas, we've been over this. What Connor did was not your fault." She squeezed his hand. "There was nothing you could have done to stop it."

"But there's nothing I can do to stop it from hurting you, and that is my fault. I should be able to find some way to help you heal."

"You are, Nikolas. Until my nightmare woke me up, I was sleeping more soundly than I had since…well, since the night we got married. Something about lying in your arms makes me feel safe," Emily said with a smile. "I've missed them. I've missed falling asleep in them. So please don't think you're not helping, because that's just not true."

Nikolas smiled. "Okay." He intertwined his fingers with hers. "I'm glad you still feel safe with me. I'll do anything to protect you, Emily. Please believe that."

"I do, Nikolas. I've always felt safe with you, and I always will." She glanced at her watch and groaned. "I have to be at the hospital in four hours."

Nikolas gave her a cautious smile. "That's at least three more hours of sleeping." He lay back on the bed.

Emily returned the smile and stretched out next to him. "I love you so much," she whispered, laying her head next to his on the pillow and gazing into his eyes.

"Love you too," he murmured, encircling her in his arms.

Emily felt her eyes quickly drooping shut. She was half-asleep when Nikolas gently squeezed her frame.

"Em?" he asked softly.

"Mm-hmm," she mumbled sleepily.

"I've missed having you here," Nikolas said simply.

Emily grinned, understanding him as always. She soon dozed off into a peaceful slumber, and nothing haunted her dreams.