When El Was 16
El had three favourite days.
The first day was when Mike had put a bandage on her knee.
The second day was when he asked her to be his girlfriend and kissed her. It was her first kiss. It was one of the sweetest kisses she'd ever had. Mike was good at duplicating it though, she loved the way Mike kissed her.
The third day, was when MIke said that he loved her. She would never forget that day. After all she'd been through, someone thought she was special enough to be loved.
El Hopper loved Mike Wheeler.
Mike loved El. She had probably written it on every page of her school notebooks. She felt a little woozy every time she did.
They had discovered later that they had loved each other much sooner but both were scared to say anything for fear of ruining their friendship by making it too awkward to be around each other. They'd laughed nervously about it, glad that their feelings for each other were finally out in the open.
But, now El was feeling insecure and unsure of herself, of their relationship.
She was scared to death that she might not be able to hold on to Mike. It was nothing he'd done or said.
She wasn't exactly sure when it started but two things had happened that cast doubts in her mind, and they had just steamrolled to the point where she was in a constant state of anxiety about them.
Mike, who had never been into music, had gotten a guitar for Christmas. It proved to El that his parents had no clue about his interests or his hobbies.
For his part Mike took to it right away, and found he had some talent. El told him not to kid himself he had a lot of talent. And he could sing. Mike was so soft spoken that El had a bit of a hard time adjusting to his singing voice. Mike was shy in person, but once he got on the stage at school he transformed. El still felt a little uneasy with the whole thing, but he was back to his ordinary self when he was with her.
El noticed that girls in the audience were swooning. Not just some of them, all of them. Some of the guys were too. There were a few of these girls who were absolutely gorgeous and could have any guy they wanted, but they seemed to have their eyes set on Mike.
So El was feeling insecure about that whole situation. And she didn't know what to do. Her hair still hadn't grown out. She was self-conscious about it all the time. Mike told her numerous times he didn't care, and she knew he wasn't lying to make her feel better.
She was having a hard time coming to grips with the possibility of her hair never growing longer. It didn't help her anxiety. She still felt like she could be prettier for Mike.
All that was bad enough, but then there was the day her and Mike were sitting on the sofa, having a heavy make out session. El was ready and willing for Mike to do something more, put his hand under her sweater or maybe even get a little bolder. El was ready. She was nervous for sure because he was so shy and she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable about it.
She could see that Mike was blushing, he had been about to try something, her breath had caught when she realized it. Then they were interrupted by a knock on the basement door.
It was Max.
Max and El had become pretty good friends. Max had obviously been frustrated that El would ignore her, and rarely even say hi to her when they all got together.
On one of the gaming nights, Max had cornered El in the laundry room, and asked her, "Why don't you like me?"
"Do you really want to know?" El had decided to be blunt.
"Yes, I do," Max had her hands on her hips waiting for an answer..
"Lucas is a really nice guy, and you treat him like shit. He's Mike's best friend, Mike is your friend."
"Lucas loves it," Max smirked.
"No, Max. He doesn't. He puts up with it because he loves you."
Max was silent for a moment, and then said, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize to me, Max. You have to apologize to Lucas. Listen, the Party knows your home life sucks. You get a certain amount of leeway for that. But Lucas is not your home life, he's there for you…. And if it helps, Mike and I will be there for you too."
El had done something then that had surprised both herself and Max at the same time. She had hugged Max. Max had cried on her shoulder. Their friendship had blossomed that night. Both girls now had someone to share secrets with, boys not allowed type of secrets.
So the night that Max knocked on the door, she flung herself into Mike's arms her breath hitching she was sobbing so hard.
El was concerned immediately and rushed to MIke's side. Mike shrugged with his eyes to El, and El took over. She finally managed to find out from Max the reason why she was crying.
Lucas had broken up with her. Even after the talk that El and Max had weeks previous, Max still continued being Max. She had a hard time letting her softer side come through and she was sure that Lucas had gotten tired of it.
Mike offered to go talk to Lucas. Max didn't respond but nodded to Mike and he left for the Sinclairs.
El made some tea and her and Max had another talk..
"It's the band," Max said. "I'm sure of it. It's not just me, not after all this time."
"What's the band?" El had asked.
"Haven't you noticed the way girls are all over them? Doesn't that bother you at all? I mean look at Mike, he went from looking like a nerd when he was twelve or thirteen, to what he is now, a rock star slash model. El, the girls are drooling over him."
El ignored her comment. She couldn't think about that right now.
"So you think Lucas broke up with you because he's interested in a groupie? That doesn't sound like Lucas. Not at all."
"El have you seen those girls, with the big hair?" Max looked down when she saw El run her hand over buzzed hair. "Sorry El, I know that your hair bothers you."
"It's ok Max, Mike says he doesn't care, so I guess I'll get over it…" El trailed off but Max knew that El didn't believe what she was saying to herself.
"It's not just the hair, El. They are showing a lot more skin then you are. All the time, not just at the school shows. They hang around when the band practises at school. Whenever you aren't around. That's not very often because you and Mike are glued to each other." Max smiled, and so did El when she heard that.
"But everytime you aren't around. I see Mike talking to girls at his locker, at their locker. I'm sure he's just being polite. Mike has always been that way. Haven't you noticed any change in him."
El looked down, she hadn't really. If she thought about it she would have said their relationship was just as strong, as it had always been. Maybe even stronger.
For the first time since Mike and told her he loved her, she felt unsure of it. Not of her love for Mike. That would never change.
When El was 16, she didn't know if Mike still loved her.
El was terrified of losing Mike. She was sick to her stomach at the thought. She had to know for sure. Asking Mike terrified her even more.