Reflection

[Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor any of the characters… Kishimoto is the God.]

Chapter 6: Determination

As soon as the news was broken to her, she felt broken herself. Like a child had finally realized the doll they were playing with was made of porcelain, so they smashed her onto the ground into millions of pieces. Just for fun. And then left the mess there without bothering to clean it up. After all, it was just a child.

Asuma had to help Sakura up after she had taken a fall to her knees. She didn't faint like last time, but she might as well have. At least that way she wouldn't have to endure the backstabbing pain she felt being thrusted into her. All of a sudden the talking and bonding she had done with Kakashi in the hospital proved to be one big lie. It had meant nothing. He was only saying those things to make her feel better and ease up so that she'd feel a little safer about leaving him alone. Well, it worked. And she felt stupid for being so gullible and being defeated so easy.

"Sakura... are you alright?" Asuma suddenly asked, snapping Sakura back to reality. She had completely forgotten it existed.

"Uh... yeah... yeah, I'm fine." Sakura muttered as she shook her head, her eyelashes fluttering and eyebrows creasing out of stress. She lifted a palm-turned hand to her forehead and closed her eyes in attempt to cool herself down. She was still pissed at Kakashi, possibly even more so after hearing the news. She had to think of what to do, but she could barely even think at that moment with all the emotions clouding both her thoughts and judgement. What she would really like would be to find Kakashi and yell at him for how much of an idiot he was, without him running away for once. But she didn't even know where to continue looking. She had been almost to the point of giving up before he had tricked her, so she didn't know how much longer she would last. Then she remembered there was a man standing in front of her, probably looking down at her as if she needed to be knocked out and put in a locked room. Removing her hand from her head and opening her eyes back up, she finally looked back up to address him directly.

"Asuma... where can I find Kakashi? And don't defend him this time... this is important. I need to know." She pleaded, staring up into Asuma's irresolute dark gaze, while her eyes exhibited quite the opposite.

Asuma was a little hesitant at first, eyes shifting around at the ground in uncertainly as he scratched the side of his jaw with his finger. "Well... as long as you promise not to deform the guy, I'll give you my suggestion." He had to make a compromise, otherwise he'd never be able to live with himself were anything to happen. Not like he actually thought it would, but he had to take precautions.

Sakura shook her head very lightly. "Asuma... he's my sensei. No matter how much I may hate him at times, I would never do anything to inflict harm upon him. I merely wish to talk with him."

Asuma could tell that Sakura meant it. So, with a sigh, and eyes still glued to the ground, he quietly muttered, "He's probably at his apartment. He tends to go home after he receives his missions. And I was just at the HQ receiving my mission, which is how I managed to spot him and overhear him talk with one of the employment officers. I thought what he was doing was stupid, myself, so I tried to follow him once he left so that I could try and speak with him. At that point I saw you running after him and then he used his replacement jutsu, and that's how we got to where we are now." He paused for a brief moment to finally meet her gaze once again. "In a way, I'm kind of glad I ran into you. I think you could do a much better job at speaking with him."

Sakura frowned. "I'm getting the feeling that nobody has a better chance at talking to him." She said, taking her turn to stare at the ground. It was then that she realized she didn't even know where Kakashi lived. All this time that she'd known him... she had never been invited or taken to his house. Then again, it wasn't too odd... how often do senseis invite their students over to their house? It sounded a little suggestive.

Looking back up at Asuma, Sakura gave him one last pleading look. "Could you possibly give me directions to his place? I've never actually... been there..." She admitted, feeling a little sheepish. She really hoped that Asuma didn't already expect her to know where he lived, and then refuse to tell her due to an invasion of privacy. But from his expression, it appeared as if he was willing to give up whatever information he knew to avoid being the one to have to confront Kakashi. And Sakura's intuition just happened to be right that time. Asuma nodded and gave her the directions. Sakura knew exactly where to go afterwards, and was actually surprised when it was only about 5 blocks away from her own apartment. Very gratefully, Sakura thanked the black-lunged sensei before taking off in the given directions as quickly as she possibly could.

When Sakura arrived at the large high-sky building Kakashi was destined to be in, she wasted absolutely no time in busting through. She immediately made her way over to the elevator and pushed the upward arrow button at light-speed about 10 times before waiting and tapping her foot impatiently. When the elevator finally landed, she quickly got in and rode the elevator up to the level that Asuma said Kakashi's apartment was on; level 6.

Before the double metal sliding doors could even fully open up, Sakura squeezed her way through and began marching down along the left branched hallway, eyes scanning across all the numbers on the doors in desperate search for Kakashi's.

Once she finally came across the right door, room number 696, Sakura came to an abrupt halt right in front of it, taking in one deep breath as she faced the door directly. Just as she had curled her hand into a fist and lifted it up, about to knock, a very serious thought suddenly struck her mind. If she alerted him that she was there... he would probably find a way to sneak out around the back or something like that. And then she would definitely lose her chance. So, releasing her arm, she let it fall back down along her side. Wearily, she backed up and glanced shiftily around the hallway, in search of what she could possibly do that wouldn't give him warning of her presence. Then she thought of the possibility of him having a balcony. She did recall when she first arrived at the building that it did indeed have balconies. So, just as hastily as before, Sakura made her way back down to the lobby and then outside. As she stood outside toward the building, her head looked upward at all the balconies as she tried to map out which one would be Kakashi's. Once she located the presumably correct one, she began jumping upward along the lower balconies, eyes never leaving the targeted one. Civilians on the street stopped and stared strangely at her while she did this, but she didn't care. She was a ninja, she didn't need an explanation. So, paying them no mind, she continued on her way up without any hesitation.

It took Sakura a total of thirty seconds to reach Kakashi's level. Wrapping her hand firmly around the metal railing, she swung herself over it and silently landed on the concrete surface. Standing up from her crouched position, she glanced up through the sliding glass screen door, where Kakashi's entire apartment room was exposed. Sakura nearly choked on her own breath, though, when his room wasn't the only thing exposed to her. Indeed, there was the very man in question, hands and toes against the ground while his topless body jounced, beads of sweat covering all the exposed flesh. How Sakura managed to notice that last detail only came with staring at him for way longer than necessary. It wasn't until the man came to a sudden halt half-way through one push-up that Sakura even realized she had been standing there staring at him for over a minute. Before she even had the chance to react, though, his head shot up sideways in her direction, catching the both of them completely off guard. Sakura quickly shook her head and put her pissed off face back on as she took a step toward the glass and crossed her arms. Kakashi appeared to sigh as he slowly let his head fall back forward to face the ground. From reading his lips, it looked as though Kakashi whispered the word 'fuck' to himself, and then he let his body finally relax from the exact same position he stopped in. From his knees, he rose to his feet. While he did that, as inappropriate as it was at that time, Sakura couldn't resist the very odd tingling sensation that she felt. She'd seen him topless few times before, but now she finally got the full package and got to see his face along with it. And she had to say, it certainly was no disappointment. She didn't get to see his face up close, but from she could see it certainly made her body react in a way she really wished she could control. Kakashi didn't allow her the privilege of staring at his exposed self for much longer, however, as he instantly turned his back to her as he stood up, and quickly donned the top and face mask that were carelessly resting on top of his unmade bed.

Finally, Kakashi turned back around when he was all covered up again, and wiped the sweat from his face with the back of his hand as he headed toward the glass door. Sliding it open, he squinted his eyes slightly at her, pausing for a moment before asking, "How did you find out where I live?"

Typical that he would ask a question like that first over any other. But Sakura just squinted her eyes back up at him and responded with, "Who cares? I think you're the one with some explaining to do, not me." She accused, especially not wishing to get Asuma in any trouble by giving him away.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "My, that's certainly a way to talk to your elder... teacher, none the less."

But Sakura knew he was only faking taking offence. By that point, Kakashi had lost his respect from the young adult so her behaviour was completely justified. "Kakashi... why did you lie to me?" she asked as she allowed herself into his apartment by squeezing past him then turning back around to face him. He obviously didn't have the decency to invite her in, himself, so she decided to take the liberty.

Kakashi's eyes followed her as she made her way in and around him, giving her the most perplexed stare. He clearly wasn't used to his students barging into his personal space. "Uh... Sakura... I'm a little busy right now... would you mind coming ba--"

"--Oh, cut the bullshit!" Sakura exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips "You lied to me, Kakashi! Do you know what it feels like to have the person you look up to most, lie to you? It fucking sucks!" She took a step closer to him so that their faces were only about a foot and a half apart. She gave him the most scrunched up angry look and pointed an accusing finger up at him. "You made me feel like you actually cared, and were actually sincere about your apology for hurting me! Then you do... this... and it just hurts me even more than if you didn't even try to lie at a--"

Kakashi interrupted her by grabbing her wrist that contained the hand pointing the accused finger at him, and held her in place as he took a small step back. "Sakura, listen... I meant what I said about not wanting to hurt you. I just didn't know what else to say to get you to relax. I had already made my decision before that moment that I wanted to go back to the camps. But I couldn't tell you that... because I knew you would freak out and then never leave me alone." He admitted honestly.

"That's just it, though!" Sakura yanked her hand back from his grip. "Why do you want to go back? Under your condition, there is no way you can survive... and I can't just sit here and let you go. Honestly, what would you do in my situation?!" Her tone remained strong, but she could feel a slight sting in her eyes.

Kakashi sighed as he broke his gaze with her. "Remember how I told you that perhaps my way of getting away from everyone and everything is going out and fighting? Well, that's exactly the way it is. I need to go. That is my life... if I'm not doing that, then hypothetically I'm non-existent." He ran a large hand through his silver locks, wearily re-greeting her stare. Only, it had changed. It was no longer scrunched up in fury... but rather, it appeared to be deep concern.

"You're existent to me..." She then whispered, voice a little raspy as she felt the stinging in her eyes grow. She didn't want to appear weak in front of her ex-sensei, though, so she controlled herself to much of her extent.

There was then an awkward pause where Kakashi just stared speechlessly at her, and she just stared at his chest. She suddenly had an idea that she sort of mentioned to Tsunade before, but considering the situations have changed, maybe there was room for negotiable adjustments that would satisfy everyone. "Kakashi..." She began, eyes still glued solemnly to the man's chest.

"Yes, Sakura?" He asked when she took too long to continue.

"If you go... then I'm going with you." She stated, eyes flickering back up to his as she said the latter part.

Kakashi's eyes widened and he stumbled back another step. "No... no, Sakura, you can't. You said it yourself... it's too dangerous out there. They need you here." He said firmly.

At his reaction, Sakura's face creased in slight annoyance again. Why was everyone against her suggestion? Did they think she'd be too weak to actually be able to survive out there? "Kakashi, I don't want to hear that from you. You are way more susceptible to harm than I am at this moment. So if you're going to be stubborn and refuse to stay put, then I'm going to be stubborn and follow you wherever you go to make sure you don't die from your own mistake!" She declared back, topping his firmness.

It was Kakashi's turn to crease his eyebrows, and Sakura really wished she knew what he was thinking because his reasoning abilities at that point were awful. "Sakura. This has nothing to do with you... why do you feel the need to get involved? I appreciate the concern, but what I do with my life is my business." She was beginning to feel the coldness emanating from his body again. She didn't understand why he suddenly became so strict about it, often times in the past he would be more than happy to have her tag along. Why was he so resistant in this scenario?

"Okay, I respect that." She spat. "In that case, what I do with my life is my business, also. Therefore, if I wish to go to the camps, I have every right to do so." She retorted mockingly. But doing as such just annoyed Kakashi even more. She didn't care, though, because she would bet a million dollars that she was even more annoyed.

"I think you should leave now." He tensely advised, bringing an end to their 'discussion' before it got nasty.

But Sakura just glared at him. "I hope you realize that you're the one bringing this on yourself, Kakashi! You have no right to get mad at me." She claimed, attempting to justify her actions. But that clearly didn't work when he grabbed her by the wrist once again and physically introduced her to the exit. Sakura was so outraged that he even dared forcing her out. She struggled to break free along their way to the doorway, but his grip was much stronger. He tried to be as gentle as he could when he let her out, but it was hard since she was being so difficult about it. It wasn't until she was completely out of the room, into the hallway, that he released her.

"Go home, Sakura." Were his final words before shutting and locking the door on her. Sakura was so vexed, she felt like she'd just been smacked right in the face. If she really wanted to, she could bust his door down, no problem; but she was at least mature enough not to be that bad. Even if she did break back in, there was nothing that she could have said that would change anything. It was all up to her now; Kakashi had no impact. If she wanted to go to the camps, she would go to the goddamned camps. Just as there was clearly nothing she could say that would make Kakashi want to stay in the village, there was nothing he could say that could make her not want to follow him. She didn't even know why she was trying so hard... normally she wouldn't. She supposed a huge part of the reason, too, was that she knew Naruto and Sasuke were also retreating to the camps. Kakashi was just one excuse for her to be granted the opportunity to go with them. At least, she hoped it would be enough to actually work. She would have to go have another chat with her blonde sensei.

When Sakura reached the Town Hall, she rushed up to the Missionary in just a rush as she had been in when tracking down Kakashi.

She was just about to barge into the room, when she noticed the door was already slightly ajar, and she could hear voices behind it. It didn't take her long at all to recognize the voices belonging to Tsunade, Naruto, and Sasuke. It was then that Sakura realized what was going on... Tsunade was informing the two of their mission for the next day. Sakura felt her heart clench as she listened to their discussion. As rude as it was for her to do so, Sakura decided then to barge in anyway.

"Let me go, too!" Sakura blurted, causing all three of them to turn and look at her in shock. It wasn't in Sakura's nature to be so obnoxious, but she had gone through so much the past few days... she had become desperate and needed to find at least one thing to settle with.

"Um... Sakura... What do you think you're doing?" Tsunade questioned the girl, clearly disappointed with her unpleasant interruption.

"Tsunade-sama... I beg of you... you have to let me go to the camps with them. This is for Kakashi's sake!"

Tsunade's eyes widened even more, and she cleared her throat as if she had just choked on something.

"What is she talking about?" Sasuke suddenly asked. "What does this have to do with Kakashi?" Sasuke was no idiot, so he picked up on things very quickly.

Tsunade's face turned red and she banged her flat palm down on the table. "Naruto. Sasuke." Tsunade announced, composing herself to the best of her abilities. "Would you please excuse the young lady and I? I've told you all you really need to know, just make sure you're there at the west gate for 2 o'clock, sharp. Capiche?" Tsunade told them briskly, looking as if she was going to pop at any minute.

Both Sasuke and Naruto exchanged weary glances with each other, Sakura, then back at Tsunade. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaahhh... no problem! We'll be there!" Naruto over-exaggerated to fill in the awkward silence. Patting his raven-haired companion firmly on the back, the two of them left the room, both exchanging one more glance with Sakura on their way out.

Once the two were completely gone and their chakra could no longer be sensed anywhere nearby, Tsunade slammed her hand back down on her desk again. "What the hell is your problem?! Do you want the whole village to know about Kakashi?!" Tsunade yelled, clearly very frustrated with the girl.

"Who cares about that!" Sakura expressed ignorantly. "He's leaving anyway! And I'm going too... to make sure he doesn't die!"

"Oh, really now? And who's going to validate that? Because I most certainly will not. And considering I am Hokage, I have the authority to make sure nobody else does either." Tsunade's eye appeared to be twitching, but Sakura didn't care.

Sakura didn't even understand why Tsunade seemed to be so fine with Kakashi going back in the first place. "I can't believe this... you're letting him go, but not me."

"Sakura, no matter what I say, that man would just run away to the camps on his own. He has nothing tying him down here, so he's got nothing to lose. But you... you have a job here. Would you really want to give that up forever?"

Sakura just stared at her sensei in astonishment. "Are you saying... you would fire me if I left?"

"I am dead serious about this, Sakura. You chose your lifestyle... all the medics in the field know the risks. If you really want to give yourself up, go ahead... but while you are under my supervision, I will not allow it." Tsunade sat like a stone in her seat with her elbows propped up on the desk, and fingers interlaced. Her eyes shut as she awaited Sakura's response, but there was a very long pause before Sakura did manage to speak.

Her voice became soft. "Sensei... listen... this isn't about me, anymore. This is about Kakashi. I need to go to take care of him... please..." Sakura was begging now, all hostility erased.

But that still didn't seem to work with the woman. "Sakura, there are plenty of other great medics out there to assist with Kakashi. Once I inform them of his condition, he will be well-monitored." Tsunade maintained her stone-like composure.

By that point, Sakura was ready to give up. Nothing she was saying was even moving Tsunade in the slightest. If she kept going, she would just wear herself out and then she would be a wreck. Well, the way things were going for her, she would probably still turn out a wreck. Jaw hanging and eyes worn, Sakura just stared in disbelief at the woman for the remaining few seconds she stayed there. She couldn't even bring herself to say anything else... after all, what could she say? Instead, Sakura just turned around and marched straight out without saying another word. It was disrespectful to the third degree, but Sakura gave up caring about things like respect at that point.

Sakura slammed the door on her way out, forming a few small cracks in the wall surrounding the doorway. She completely ignored this, and just shuffled her way down to the exit of the building. She looked like a zombie.

When she left the building, she had to stop and think for a few seconds before she realized her name was being called. Slowly, she looked up in the voice's direction, and saw none other than Naruto making his way toward her. When she saw him, she wanted to smile, but couldn't even bring herself to do that.

"Did you wait for me?" Sakura suddenly asked, finding it strange how Naruto was still around after he was dismissed.

"Yeah... don't take this into offence or anything, but you look terrible." Of course, the boy was always painstakingly honest.

"Thanks..." Sakura drawled sarcastically, glancing back down at the ground.

"That's why..." He sing-songed, crouching down and looking up into her face to disrupt her view of the ground "I'm taking you out for ramen! I figured you're in need of some cheering up!" He said excitedly, grabbing her hand. "And I'll even let you off the hook this time! It's on me!" He grinned brightly.

Sakura didn't know why, but when she looked at him, she felt this slight sense of security and happiness. Although when she felt it, she also felt sadness that this boy was going to be leaving her the very next day for who knew how long. And that was what depressed her to the point of wanting to break down and cry again. But she knew she was stronger than that. As much as it pained her, she kept her composure and accepted the boy's invitation. The fact that he was going to be leaving didn't mean that she had to chicken out and avoid him. It meant she would have to spend and cherish what little time she had left with him. All of a sudden, thoughts of their sleep-over a couple days ago came to her mind and she was finally capable of cracking a smile - as small as it was.

Sakura felt much better after her dinner with Naruto. She wasn't quite sure what it was, but he always seemed to emit some kind of special energy that made a person feel better no matter how shitty they felt. She only wished she could do the same for some people...

When it was time for the two to split ways, they gave each other the biggest and longest good-bye. Sakura told him she probably wouldn't get the chance to wish him farewell the next day, so that's why they settled on their farewells that night. Like a gentleman, Naruto walked Sakura back to her apartment, which is where they said their good-byes.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Naruto..." Sakura said as she remained hugging the boy for over three minutes.

"I'll miss you too, Sakura... you should write to me sometime. I'll be sure to write to you." The boy said, returning the lengthy warm embrace.

"I will." Sakura said, very confidently.

It took them a little longer to actually separate. When they did and Naruto finally left, after Sakura shut the door she quickly ran over to open her sliding doors. She hopped out onto her balcony to lean over the edge and watch the blonde-haired boy make his way down the street into the distance. Even when he was long gone, Sakura remained in the same position. She actually even decided to pull her wicker chair over and just sit out and relax for a little while as she just watched the sky fade steadily to a dark grey. It wasn't until then that she actually even noticed that the sky had turned grey. It looked very ominous, and she couldn't shake the feeling that it was probably going to storm again. In no longer than a few minutes, her hunch proved to be correct, as sprinkles of rain began falling lightly in the form of a drizzle. Normally Sakura would head straight inside, but for some reason she wanted to drown herself in the rain that night. For the first time in forever, she appreciated the drops splashing all over her face and slowly giving her clothes a spotty new pattern. The rain calmed her and as she continued to sit there, she couldn't help but ponder over all her day's preceding and how much she failed. Even as she sat there alone, thinking it all over while wanting to cry... she still couldn't let herself go. In the back of her mind, a very small part of her was still determined to fight on and pursue in endeavouring to the camps with her friends... she just didn't have any other options that she could think of. She continued to sit there, the rain steadily getting a little harder, but her mind had gone blank.

She sat there for about 6 minutes until the first flash of lightning struck. The instant that lightning struck was the instant her revelation did as well. For once in her life she felt the universe speak to her, and the greatest idea was finally brought forth. The instant realization kicked in, she sprung from her chair, suddenly bursting with energy. She had finally discovered a solution she could pull off.

She would completely revamp her identity... every single little detail... and then she would sneak into the platoon the next day and leave with them to the camps. While all that was going on... 'Haruno Sakura' was a kidnapped girl.

A/N: Firstly, I would like to apologize for taking a little over a year to update. Consider it... a year-long writer's block? *Hides from rocks* Not only that, but before I finally got my inspiration and decided to write again, I re-read through all the previous chapters and really... I was very ashamed of how terrible it was. So I decided to go through and edit all the chapters a little bit before I updated. The main chapters I fixed were 1 & 2, because they were the worst... but then I got a bit lazy with the rest of the chapters so only edited the important parts. Because of this... if there are still any followers reading this story... the only thing I ask is that you go through and read the chapters again, because I made some very important adjustments that are crucial to the entire storyline. (I posted this message on all the other chapters too, but I'm just posting here also because you're more likely to see it on this one first).

Secondly, I've finally reached the chapter I've been most excited about since the very beginning when I was simply just brainstorming the entire fic itself. It's one of the most climatic moments in the story. Also, if you're a hardcore Disney fan like me... you should be recognizing right about now where I got my inspiration for this story (*cough* note the title *cough* note Sakura's revelation *cough* note the setting at the end *cough*) Yeah... so, anyway, I have a feeling that I'll probably have the next chapter out sooner than I've updated ever before, because I am actually really excited to write it.

On another note... you're probably thinking 'Ew, why does it seem like she's building up NaruSaku more than KakaSaku?' ... FYI... I hate NaruSaku with a passion. Their relationship in this is STRICTLY platonic... but just because the fic is about KakaSaku doesn't mean that they are the only two characters in this. I still try to stick to the realistic characterizations, and in my opinion even though I hate the NaruSaku romantic relationship, I love their friendship relationship. So I'm just building on that, is all... I'm not the type of person to just dump all the other characters in the ditch. I like to include a lot of characters to make everything more realistic. And, trust me, this is still the beginning... plenty more KakaSaku goodness to make its appearance.