THE LEGEND OF ZELDA OCARINA OF TIME PT: III
Chapter 6- Mr. Poe
Gozz: It looks…different.
Zack: Uh-huh.
Large Deku Baba's guard the houses and no elves are anywhere to be seen
Navi: Where is everybody? And what caused the Deku Baba's to grow here?
Gozz: Grow? I thought the elves bought them as guard dogs.
Navi: The correct term is Kokiri, not elf.
Gozz: Kokiri, elf, dwarf, midget, oompa loompa, smurf, I don't care what there called!
Navi: Calm down Gozz!
Zack: Let's check some of these houses.
Gozz: How about Mido's?
They walk into Mido's house
Zack: Good lord…
Gozz: What is this!?
Posters of John Travolta in a thong cover the walls
Zack: Why am I not surprised? Let's see what's in the VCR. He ejects the tape and looks at it Kokiri Man Orgy? Nice. I always knew he was a freak.
Gozz: Did you see these magazines? He holds up an issue of "Kokiri Slut"
Navi: I must admit I am disturbed.
Zack: Well he's not here. Let's try another house.
Navi: How about Links house?
Gozz: I wonder what Link keeps in his room.
They leave and go into Links house
Zack: What a fruit.
Pictures of Link with "The Hero of Time!" written on them are slapped on the fridge
One says "Hyrule's Savior! What would we do without him?
Gozz: Well he isn't full of himself.
Navi: What's wrong with a little inspiration?
Zack: This makes me sick.
They walk outside
Gozz: Where are they?
Zack: I have no idea. Supposedly elves can't leave the forest or they'll die. Maybe they're dead.
Navi: Or maybe they're in the Lost Woods.
Zack: I was hoping you wouldn't say that.
Gozz: The Lost Woods? Time-out! I hope you have a map.
Zack: Nope.
Gozz: It's called the Lost Woods for a reason. We'll get lost in there without a map.
Navi: Well we have to try to find them. They can probably tell us how to save the girl from the forest.
Gozz: Who is the girl from the forest?
Zack: I think its Saria.
Gozz: Saria?
Zack: She's a little psycho girl. I wouldn't mind leaving her in there.
Navi: Zack! It's your duty to save her! Stop dilly-dallying and go to the rescue!
Zack: Don't you get tired of coming up with different ways to tell me where to go?
Navi: Don't you get tired of coming up with excuses to not go?
Zack: Aww shutup…I'll go.
They hike to the entrance of the Lost Woods
Zack: I hope this wasn't a bad idea.
They walk in
Navi: Now start looking.
Zack: They could be anywhere! These woods are miles deep! No ones ever charted more then a few acres.
Gozz: Why?
Zack: Because they get lost and die if they go any deeper!
Navi: Legend has it that deep in the heart of these woods, past the Sacred Forest Meadow, is an ancient temple. That's probably where they are..
Zack: Which way is it?
Navi: I don't know. I've never been there.
Gozz drops a rupee on the ground
Gozz: Follow me then. He picks a path and starts walking
Zack: You know where to go?
Gozz: Nope. But were not getting anywhere just standing here.
They continue walking for a few minutes
Zack: This is where we started! These woods are like a prison.
Gozz: No it isn't. See, my rupee isn't here. I've been laying down rupees where we've been so we don't wander around in circles.
???: That won't help you!
A scarecrow like figure hops out of a tree in front of them
Zack: Not Skull Kid!
Skull Kid: Yes Skull Kid! I've been picking up your rupees for the last 10 minutes!
Gozz: Who is this guy?
Zack: I'm not sure. They say if someone gets lost in the woods for too long then they turn into a skull kid.
Navi: Now we're completely lost!
Skull Kid: It's true! You'll never find your way out or the way to the Forest Temple!
Zack: Show us how to get to the temple.
Skull Kid: No way Jose'.
Zack: Why not?
Skull Kid: Because you killed my father, Mr. Mo-Ho-Ho!
Gozz: Who would marry that guy?
Skull Kid: I was adopted but he loved me like a son. You took him away from me!
Zack: We didn't kill him! Link did!
Navi: How can you say tha…
Skull Kid: gasp Could it be true? Link was with you that day. Did he really make my dad fall off his tricycle?
Gozz: He sure did!
Skull Kid: I just saw him go through here! Follow me! When I get my hands on him…
He leads them deep into the forest and they eventually reach a strange gate
Skull Kid: What? This gate hasn't been locked before. That sneaky Link must have locked the gate himself!
Zack: Is there another way in?
Navi: Lookout!
3 wolfos leap out of the grass and attack
Wolfo: AROO! It swings it claws at Gozz
Gozz: Wolfos! He blocks with his shield and stabs it in the belly with his dagger
The Wolfo yelps and falls over
The other 2 Wolfos corner Zack
Zack: I could use some help.
Skull Kid: Bubbles! He fires 2 bubbles from his hands and they encase the Wolfos
Skull Kid: Be gone! He pops the bubbles and the Wolfo's evaporate
Zack: Sweet! Nice moves Skull Kid!
Skull Kid: Thank you.
Gozz: Hey the gate!
The gate swings open
Gozz: Shouldn't be to hard from here. He walks in
Skull Kid: I'd be careful if I were you.
A giant goblin with a spear shoulder rams Gozz to the ground
Gozz: Oofa!
The goblin laughs and aims it spear at Gozz's head
Zack: Turn around Shrek! He stabs the razor sword into its back
The goblin turns around and laughs
Zack: What!?
It pulls the sword out and breaks it in half
Zack: Uh-oh…
It swings its spear into Zack and knocks him into Gozz
Gozz: Ugh!
Zack: How come that didn't do anything?
Skull Kid: Your old weapons aren't strong enough for these new monsters. I'm getting us out of here! He pulls out an ocarina and plays a song
They are teleported to the Temple of Time
Zack: How'd you do that?
Skull Kid: I'll tell you later. First and foremost, you two need to get better weapons. After Ganondorf took over, the monsters grew much stronger; the weapons you had as kids aren't going to cut it.
Navi: Why did the monsters get so much stronger?
Skull Kid: Ganondorf's men have contaminated the land with evil. So much that the monsters can literally feed off it. And they've had 7 years to do so, thus making them much stronger than before.
Gozz: Well where can we get good weapons?
Skull Kid: I'll take you to Mr. Poe. He sells the best quality weapons I know.
Gozz: Mr. Poe? That's a weird name.
Skull Kid: Well I don't know his real name so I call him Mr. Poe because he collects Poes.
Gozz: What the heck is a Poe?
Skull Kid: You'll see when we get there. And I hope you guys got a lot of money because his weapons aren't cheap.
Zack: Forget that! I'm taking THIS! He grabs the Master Sword form its stone and puts it in his sheath
Navi: I hope you know how to wield that.
Zack: You hush. Now Skull Kid, take us to this Poe person.
Skull Kid: Follow me He leads them threw the remains of Hyrule Market to a lonely-looking shop
???: Who's there? cough Oh it's you Skull Kid. I see you've brought some cough friends.
Skull Kid: Yes Mr. Poe, this is Gozz and Zack. They want to buy some gear.
A dark man wearing a hood sits at a table with bottled spirits in jars behind him
Mr. Poe: How many cough rupees do you have?
Gozz: About 300.
Mr. Poe: That's it? I usually charge 300 rupees just to look at my cough merchandise.
Zack: Are you trying to rip us off?
Mr. Poe: I said usually. But cough since you are friends of Skull Kid I guess I can cough lower my prices.
Zack: Let's see what you got.
Mr. Poe pulls back a sheet that reveals a table covered in weapons
Gozz: Nice. He picks up a mean looking spear 500 rupees? What's so great about it?
Mr. Poe: That's a Silver spear. It's made from special silver and has magic properties.
Gozz: Like what?
Mr. Poe: It can transform into many different weapons.
Gozz: Let me see!
Mr. Poe grabs the spear and it turns into a shield, then a chain, then a knife
Gozz: That's incredible!
Mr. Poe: Watch this. He splits the spear in two and it forms into two twin swords
Gozz: I want it!
Mr. Poe: I sell it for 250 rupees.
Gozz buys it and tries it out
Gozz: Hey! I can't change it!
Mr. Poe: That weapon takes time to develop. You can't just pick it up and turn it into anything. The longer you use it the more you'll be able to transform it.
Gozz: If you say so.
Zack: I want this armor He holds up a chain mail shirt
Mr. Poe: That's legendary Gerudo cough battle armor from the Old War. That should cough protect you nicely.
Zack: How much will this run me for?
Mr. Poe: 100 cough rupees.
Zack: I don't know if I have enough.
Mr. Poe: I'll tell you what. You see these Poes behind me?
Zack: Yeah. You got a lot.
Mr. Poe: My prized Poe, Dred escaped from me a few days ago. If you promise to find him for me, you can have it for free.
Zack: Ok. I'll look for him.
Mr. Poe: But cough if you don't find him by the time the Spirit of the Old is released, then I will curse the armor and it will bring you terrible luck.
Navi: Don't do it Zack!
Zack: I'm not afraid of no curse. I'll do it.
Mr. Poe: Ok then. Take it.
Zack takes the armor and slips it on
Mr. Poe: Is there anything else I can cough help you with?
Zack: Not me. How about you Skull Kid.
Skull Kid: I don't use weapons. Just magic.
Zack: I guess that's it then. Thanks for the armor.
Mr. Poe: No cough problem.
They leave the shop
Zack: Are you gonna take us back to that gate?
Skull Kid: Yes. But first I am going to teach you the Prelude of Light.
Zack: Is that the song you played that teleported us to the Temple of Time?
Skull Kid: Yes.
Zack: Cool! Teach me!
Skull Kid: I will. Just remember that teleporting songs are very difficult; the slightest error and you could end up anywhere…
Zack: Don't worry. I'm the master chef.
Skull Kid plays the song
Zack: Ok lemme try this He plays the song
Skull Kid: No! You messed up the last note!
Gozz: So?
Skull Kid: Quick! Give me the oca…
A light surrounds them and they disappear
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RE-WRITE