Note: TamwynMochidzuki does not own any of the characters featured in these wonderful little rants. Tamwyn owns only ideas and the various AUs these characters come from. Please review, and please do not flame. Tamwyn thanks You!
The Mindless Rantings of… Nymphadora Tonks
I hate pickles.
No, seriously, I do. And you know why? Of course you don't. Pickles are perhaps the only substance in the world that can hinder the transformation of a metamorphagus. For some of us, it can be as bad as an allergic reaction. I am one of those poor, poor people. Which is why I hate pickles.
Take, for example, if I had just eaten a nice sandwich, with lots of mayonnaise, with a pickle on the side, when Headmaster Dumbledore comes in and asks me to go on a spying mission. Well, in that case, I would be rather useless, wouldn't I? I wouldn't be able to change my features, and I would come out in a dreadful rash, and I would take my true form. I knew you could grasp the concept.
However, it is not just ingesting pickles that stops the transformation, oh no, that would be too easy. If I am even in the proximity of a pickle, my transformation slows down to a snails pace. And I start sneezing like mad. And the effects linger for hours.
Imagine if Death Eaters captured me, and then placed me in a cell filled with pickles. I could not escape no matter how hard I tried. And I would be very uncomfortable. And eventually, I would revert to my true form. The Horrors!
I remember the time when dementors were chasing me. Well, not really chasing, more like gliding after. I ran into a nice little suburban café, you know, the kind with cute little tables and cute little tablecloths. Well, anyways, I ran into the kitchen and took cover behind a conveniently placed barrel. I focused on a happy memory, cast my patronus, and was in my own happy little world. Until I saw what was in the conveniently placed barrel. Pickles. I started to hyperventilate and panic and spew swear and violently sneeze. The patronus failed, and I would have been in really deep shit, if Kingsly hadn't come in when he did. He saved my ass.
I really hate pickles.
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