OMFG MY COMPUTER… SHE LIVES!!!! PRAISE THE ALMIGHTY FORCES!!! WOOOOO PARTY CELEABRATION NOW COME ON DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO JUST FROR THIS SPECIAL OCCASION I'M GONNA UPDATE 2 CHAPTERS IN 4 DAYS WOOOT WOOT XDD (gets hit in the head with shoe) WHO THE FUDGE KEEPS DOING THAT???!!! DAMN IT CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO DANCE!!!??? (Gets hit in the head with a cinderblock) OK I'LL WRITE DAMN YOU I'LL WRITE!!!! REMEMBER VIVA LA PANDA REVOULOTION!!!!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto, if I did I would use my brainwashed Naruto Zombie fans to TAKE OVER THE WORLD MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and Sasuke would die a slow painful death with Sakura giving birth to twins BWAHAHAHAHAHAH…uh...cough anyways

OH NOES THE HOSPITAL BLEW UP!!!! But... what's this? THE HEROES, I mean VILLIANS ARE SAFE? Who or What saved them? It was... DRUMROLL BRAINSWASHED ZOMBIES OF MIEN!!!!! Dun dun dun dun... WHITESTAR!!!! YUP that cute little kitty grew into a BIG kitty (lady liberty size) and swallowed up the group; although Deidara's arm was caught on her canine teeth and ripped off with the sound of "NOOO RIGHTY UN!!!!!! GOD DAMN IT THAT'S THE THRID ARM THIS WEEK!!!!!"

and the long pregnant silence as Whitestar picked at the remains of Deidara's hand with her claw.

After 5 Long hours of grooming her self thoroughly she hacked out a hairpersonball, consisting of black fur, stomach acids, saliva and the heroes/villains of this story.

Ah Whitestar sure is a useful ninja kitty isn't she? Yes she is :D

Well anyways, Whitestar licked her paw, before 'poofing' back into travel-size Whitestar YAY, and casually walked over to the slobbery and dazed group, mewing and cocking her head to the side questioningly. The kids bawled loudly, wriggling, screeching and balling up their little fists. Deidara was no help, he was crying tidal waves over 'Righty' and holding his decapitated arm; tch almost as bad as the mortified children (tutting and nodding head in shame) Itachi sat up, yawned, walked past Whitestar glaring daggers and picked up Sasuke. Sasuke hiccupped and whimpered as he calmed down, with Itachi patting his back lightly walking in small circles. Konan picked up Naruto copying the same motion, Naruto sniffled and wiped his nose (AWWW) Sakura and Deidara were still crying, Konan and Itachi glared at the blonde haired guy-girl, then Itachi kicked him and picked up Sakura. Deidara moaned and rolled on his side, Sakura kept squirming and crying, so she kicked sleepy Sasuke who began crying.

Itachi twitched and glared at the sulking guy-girl behind him, his onyx eyes switched to sharingan out of pure anger for Deidara. Deidara flinched and took a few million steps backwards. Konan ignored them both and looked at Naruto smiling like always and playing with her finger. White star was sitting on Deidara's shoulder, swishing her tail in front of his nose regularly, making him sneeze repeatedly, which is ironic because at the exact same time, 3 people were cursing him (go on take a guess I'll give cookies to people who guess it right 8D)

Because Sakura and Sasuke were BOTH crying, Itachi was forced to stop and calm down the two miserable children. Sakura stopped crying and began a different activity, in which she had found mild interest in; pulling Itachi's face into interesting shapes. She pushed his cheeks together which made him look like a chipmunk, Sasuke decided to help as well, by pulling Itachi's bottom lip. Deidara looked back at Itachi and the kids snickering, he pulled on Konan's cloak, and she turned around angrily, which was replaced by a look of amusement.

Itachi looked seriously pissed, and his hands were occupied, afterall he couldn't just drop the children, it would just make them cry… again. Sakura pulled an ear and his eye down, Sasuke pulled his cheeks, now he looked like a Micheal Jackson surgery gone bad…well worst anyways.

A little mini Itachi, in a mini devil suit holding a pitch fork, poofed onto his left shoulder. The chibi Itachi grinned showing sharp little fangs, and leaned against big Itachi's ear, checking his nails. "drop the little buggers" Chibi devil Itachi said "They are a nuisance and a burden" Itachi contemplated over the choice, and then "POOF" another chibi Itachi appeared. This time the new chibi Itachi was wearing a white robe, had chibi angel wings and a halo, and sitting quite comfortably on his right shoulder. "NO don't drop them," he began "they are human beings too, and they are children" Chibi devil Itachi poofed again, and this time appeared sitting on top of chibi angel Itachi. "HA," chibi devil began "they are ruining your criminal image by pulling your face apart slowly. Drop them let them cry, they need to know the world isn't all roses and rainbows, plus… is that MUD in your, I'm sorry OUR, BEAUTIFUL hair?" Angel Itachi squirmed underneath devil Itachi, before poofing away again, reappearing holding Devil Itachi in a headlock. "Go ahead," started angel Itachi, rubbing devil Itachi's head with his knuckles, "Drop them, go ahead nothing bad will happen" Itachi inwardly grinned, and began to slacken his grip on the kids; his left cheek was stretched 5 cm longer by Sasuke, his eyelid pulled up by Sakura. Just as Itachi was about to let go of the tiresome two, angel Itachi spoke up again, punching devil Itachi in the face "Remember Konan is watching you" The chibi's poofed away again, and Itachi's face darkened.

He carried on Walking, as they carried on pulling his face apart. Itachi glared many sharp things at Konan's head and the group continued the walk in silence.

3 WEEKS LATER

Today was… THURSDAY!!! And you know what that means.. ok maybe you don't but anyways, it's……AKATSUKI STRIP POKER NIGHT!!!!! INCLUDING ITACHI, DEIDARA, SASORI AND KONAN!!!!! ( fanboys, gay fanboys and hyperactive fangirls start squealing and giggling) due to the fact that the children are to young to participate in such activities, someone had to take care of the little munchkins, and this week it was….. HIDAN'S TURN!!!!(hidan fangirls and gay fanboys sulk off)

Sasuke had fallen asleep, and Naruto was fiddling intently with Whitestar's tail who purred happily and flicked it back and forth before disappearing through a hole in the wall. Sakura watch and carried on clinging to hidan's trailing cloak and hold Naruto's hand. Unfortunatley she clung to hard and Hidan: "OW FUCKING HELL WHY THE FUCK DO U HAVE SUCH FUCKING SHARP FINGER NAILS YOU'RE A DAMN BABY DAMN IT!!!!!" Sakura, startled, let go of the cloak and looked up at the pissed adult/man/immortal, her bottom lip trembling and her emerald eyes glossed over with tears that have yet to be shed. She clutched her hands to her chest protectively and took in a big breath. Hidan looked at Sakura "oh…hell…no" She done what she did best. CRY OUT LOUD that's right she COL. Konan came running down in her trousers and bra, bare foot too (Konan fanboys start nosebleeding) Konan bent down and picked up Sakura, who placed her head on Konan's chest. Konan glared at Hidan coldly

"Damn it can't you try to escort the kids to your room without swearing ONCE?" Hidan mumbled something under his breath and nodded. Konan put Sakura down and gave a short kiss on the head for the three toddlers and trudged back to the living room giving Hidan the I'M WATCHING YOU SIGN. White star came holding a small black object, Naruto smiled and took it from the kitty, and stuffed in his pants (NOT THE CAT U IDIOTS) White star nudged forward a brown and white speckled puppy who was panting. Naruto patted the puppy's head and followed after a very miffed Hidan , shuffling along weirdly.

Hidan flung open his door, put Sleeping Sasuke on his bed, and began to proceed taking off the naked and half- naked pictures of girls… and porno…cough (PERVERT) off his walls.

"AHHHH SASORI NO DANNA HAS NO D-" THWACK Tobi's voice came from the living room, then a long silence.

MEANWHILE IN THE LIVING ROOM AREAR

The whole akatsuki group stared at the crumpled orange and black mass on the floor, and then turned their attention to Sasori. "

What," he said grumpily "I'm a fucking puppet thing what do you expect?" Deidara grinned and looked at Sasori, he was the only fully dressed member there, "Correction Danna, you not gonna be doing any fucking with that are you un?" The whole group laughed as Sasori gave Deidara the finger. Deidara placed down his hand "Straight Aces!" (Is that a poker move I swear it's something like that) The group swore loudly and began removing parts of their clothes, Pein trousers, Konan Trousers, ItachiShirt, SasoriARM LOL, Kakuzu shirt, Zetsu was still trying to take off his cloak, Kisame Headband (he is know sitting in his fishy boxers XD) They drew a new hand and were about to play when they heard a loud BANG

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING SHOT ME? YOU LITTLE RETARD HOW DID YOU GET A DAMN GUN?" Everyone sweatdropped

WOOT FINALLY FINISHED!!!! LOL I can't believe you guys still like this story I love you all so much you make this 12 yr old feel so awesome (sniff) YAY COOKIES FOR ALL MY SMEXY REVIEWERS well it seems that the spaces for charcters in the sotry have been taken, sorry if this is really short but I had writers block. DEATH NOTE IS AWESOEM WOOT R&R REMEMBER SMURFS ARE EVIL LITTLE FUCKERS and yes it's a bit obvious I kinda perverted BLAME IT ON MY FRIENDS LOL XDD WHAT THE HELL I COULDN'T LOG IN DAMN IT