AN: Hey Everyone! Just wanted to apologise for my formatting problems in the story so far. This is my first time posting anything on here so it has taken me a while to figure it out. I went back and added the chapter breaks like how there should have been, so hopefully it makes a little more sense now.

Just want to say thank you for reading! Comments, questions, and reviews are welcomed!

Yuuri was getting ready in his room after another torturous shower, when a knock came at his door. Otabek lifted the fabric flap covering the peek-a-boo window in the door to show that it was him at the door. Yuuri walked over and opened the door to let him in.

"Good morning Yuuri. Sleep well?"

"Morning. I slept alright I guess." Yuuri turned back to put his dirty laundry away in the cupboard, he decided that he really needed to do laundry soon, it was starting to pile up.

Otabek continued, while Yuuri puttered around his room. "I just wanted to fill you in on some things for today. Viktor emailed me last night and you have another therapy session with him later today." Yuuri blew out the air he didn't know he was holding. He thought, when he mentioned Viktor had emailed him, that it was going to be about what he saw between Otabek and Yuri at the lecture theatre a few days ago. "Also, your sister called this morning, she wants to visit you today and she's coming sometime after breakfast. I hope that's ok? You were in the shower when she called, so I took the liberty of replying for you."

Yuuri shook his head. "No, no, that's fine. Thank you. I was hoping she would visit soon." Yuuri tried to avoid eye contact, and not because of his usual anxieties, but the awkwardness of what he witnessed last night. He noticed that Otabek seemed to be doing the same thing and was a little more talkative than normal.

"Uhh Yuuri…" Otabek scratched the back of his head. "I wanted to talk to you about yesterday… I'm really sorry if you saw something, and we don't normally do that in public, I mean Viktor could have seen us and I would have been in big shit, who knows what would happen to Yuri, and…" Otabek nervously rambled on.

"Otabek, Otabek… Otabek!" Yuuri had to raise his voice a smidge to get his attention. Otabek finally looked up at Yuuri. "It's alright, no need to apologise. It was a bit awkward and not something I want to see again, but your secret is safe with me. I don't think Viktor saw anyways." Not that he thinks Viktor would say anything after the situations him and Viktor have been in.

Otabek sighed in relief. "Thank you, Yuuri. I'm really sorry that you're getting caught up in this…"

"What is piggy caught up in?" Both men turned around to see Yuri standing in the doorway. He wore his usual leopard printed high top sneakers, paired with army green skinny jeans that looked like a second skin on his legs, and a tight black V-neck t-shirt. His hair was loose around his shoulders and a bit damp from his shower. Otabek's eyes traveled up and down Yuri, darkening a bit. Yuri smirked knowing full well the effect he had on him.

Otabek realised he was starring a bit too long, cleared his throat and actively looked away from Yuri. "I was saying thank you and apologising to him about yesterday."

"Oh ok. You won't say anything right piggy?" Yuri glared towards the other Yuuri, making him jump back a bit a close in like a turtle.

"I-I said I won't. I-I promised the last time…"

"Jeeze relax already. I'm just making sure." Yuri waved his hand at him and walked off towards the day area.

"Sorry about him. I seem to be apologising a lot this morning. He has a difficult time perceiving other people needs or feelings. We're working on it."

"No need to explain." Both men stood looking around the room. "So, you said I had an appointment today with Viktor? On a Saturday?" Yuuri tried to change the subject and distract himself.

"Huh? Oh! Right… The therapists work some odd weekend shifts here and there. This weekend is Viktor's weekend. Your appointment is at 1:00 today. I think breakfast should be here by now, plus your sister should be here soon."

"Right. Thanks. I should go get something to eat then." Yuuri walked passed Otabek, only to remember he was still in his room, and waited for him to follow. They walked together in silence towards the day area, still feeling that uneasiness between them. Yuuri wondered how long that feeling was going to take to go away. It was starting to be too much.

Yuuri just finished eating when he saw his sister Mari walk into the day area. She looked around nervously for her brother. Yuuri headed over to his sister.

"Mari-neechan!" He said as he gave her a hug.

"Hey, little brother." She squeezed him back.

"Would you guys like to go to the family visitor's room?" Stated the nurse that stood by. Both nodded and followed the nurse to the room. Once in the room, Mari plopped herself on the couch, while Yuuri took the chair opposite of her. They waited for the nurse to leave the room before they started talking.

"Sorry, little bro it took me so long to come and visit. The doctor recommended that I don't visit for a while, so that you can have time to adjust."

"Mh…" Yuuri shook his head. "Its okay."

"I brought you some of your favourite snacks. I'm sure the food here sucks." She stuck out her tongue in disgust. "The nurses took it from me though."

Yuuri chuckled. "Thank you, the food is terrible here. I don't even know what half of it is on my plate. A person can't live off of just pudding alone."

There was a short pause between the siblings. "Uhh… So how are you doing? I've read your emails, but I want to hear it from you." Mari asked.

"I'm doing alright. It's a bit scary here with some of the patients, but I'm managing. I have a therapist who I like." Yuuri snorted inwardly at that understatement. "I think I can trust him."

"Good. I'm glad you like him. I know you have a hard time talking to people, so if he can make you talk and get better then I'm happy for you." Yuuri nodded. He looked at his sister and could tell that she was hiding something.

"What's wrong Mari-neechan?"

Mari sighed. "I'm sorry I put you in here Yuuri. I didn't know what else to do. Mom, Dad, and I were all worried about you when you stopped calling and emailing. Your roommate Phichit got a hold of us and told us how you were withdrawn, and your skating and school was suffering. I didn't know…"

"Hey, its okay." Yuuri interrupted his sister. He sat on the couch next to her and gave her hug. "You don't have to apologise. I didn't know how bad it was until I got here. I think I just kind of surviving day by day and not realising it. I'm getting help now, and I feel a bit better." Attempting to lessen the worry and stress his sister was holding on to.

Mari wiped away a tear that fell from her eye. She nodded her response and gave him a hug back. "There's one more thing I have to tell you." Yuuri looked at her questioningly. "I have to go back to Japan. Mom and Dad need help at the resort. I spoke to the doctors and they are changing your status to voluntary, now that they have assessed you."

Yuuri's face fell when he heard his sister was leaving back home. "I understand. I didn't even expect you to come all this way anyways. Wait, what do you mean voluntary?"

"When I admitted you, they had your status as involuntary, which meant only I or the doctor could give you the okay to leave. Now that they have assessed you and see that you are not a threat to yourself or anyone, you are now voluntary. You can leave whenever you want."

I can leave?

Yuuri's face lit up when he heard the news. "I can really leave here?!"

"Yes, you can." She grabbed his hands in hers. Worry showing in her eyes. "Yuuri I want you to think about it though. Are you ready to leave? What if you go back to the way things were. You won't be able to see the therapist your seeing now and…"

Yuuri couldn't hear what Mari was saying anymore, he stopped listening. He slumped his shoulders, he knew she was right. He didn't want to go backwards but wanted to move ahead and get back to his skating. Back to the ice. He had a taste of hope and wanted more. Deep down, even if he didn't want to admit it, he didn't want to leave Viktor.

"Yuuri? Yuuri? Are you listening to me?" Mari waved a hand in front of his face.

Yuuri blinked a few times, coming back to reality. "Sorry, I heard you. I'll think about it okay Mari-neechan?"

"Thank you Yuuri, I really don't want to have to fly half way around the world again." Both siblings chuckled. Mari and Yuuri talked for a while catching up. Only for Mari to state that she had to leave to catch her flight. They hugged each other once more at the door to the unit, both with unshed tears in their eyes, and promises of talking soon. The door closed behind her. Yuuri felt alone again, like when she first brought him here. He walked back to his room and flopped on his bed, feeling trapped and a million questions running through his head.

Yuuri stayed in his room the rest of the morning. He tried catching up on some readings that he missed for his classes, but it was no use, he couldn't concentrate. His thoughts kept drifting off to what he and his sister spoke about.

I can leave this place. I don't have to be here anymore. I can get back to the ice.

But Mari is right. I should stay until the doctor tells me that I am okay to leave. Am I ready to leave?

Just as he would convince himself that he should go, Viktor would pop into his head. Yuuri was so confused, he didn't understand the sensations he had when around him. He tried looking at it logically, that Viktor was helping him, he seemed to be the only person that he could talk to, well almost, and he was able to calm him down from a panic attack. But it was no use, his emotions would flare at the thought of Viktor. His heart would jump into his throat when he thought of him being so close. Was he really helping or was it something else?

Someone burst into Yuuri's room while he was deep in thought. He jumped out of bed and onto the floor with his books and notes strewn everywhere.

"Heya! Sorry 'bout that. I did knock, no need to be so scared." Yuuri peeked from the side of the bed to see a man standing in his doorway. He was tall, with jet black hair and an undercut similar to Otabek's, but a little longer. Yuuri's eyes travelled to the man's face and instantly didn't like him, he had an arrogant look about him that rubbed Yuuri the wrong way.

"S-Sorry." Yuuri bowed his head and gathered his things from the floor.

"I'm JJ." He announced, like it was supposed to mean something. "Otabek is a little tied up with something, and I, being ever so helpful, offered to take you to your therapy session with Viktor. Plus, I wanted to meet you."

"Oh. O-okay. Thanks." Yuuri mumbled. He got up from the floor and followed JJ to the therapy room.

"Viktor is assigned to you, but if you need anything at all you let me know. Viktor is good and all, but I'm a better therapist. I understand you, Yuuri. I think if you and I talked more or met sooner you would already be out of here." He clapped Yuuri on the back. Yuuri jumped and tensed up, pulling his shoulders up to his ears. "Relax Yuuri, jeeze you're so scared all the time eh?"

They entered the group therapy room and turned the corner, towards the single room. Viktor was already there waiting for Yuuri. When he looked up and saw him, Viktor's smile grew, and his eyes shone. JJ's eyebrow raised up in question to Viktor's reaction to seeing Yuuri. Viktor noticed JJ and tried his best to compose himself, to the professional therapist that he was.

He cleared his throat. "Hello Yuuri." He turned to JJ. "What are you doing here?"

"I finished a session with a patient early and took one for the team and brought him here for you."

"Thank you, JJ. Take a seat, Yuuri." He turned his back to his colleague giving him the hint to leave. JJ rolled his eyes at the ignorant therapist and turned around and headed out the way he came, but just before he left the group therapy room he looked back and caught a glimpse of Viktor, through the peek-a-boo window in the door, stepping in close to Yuuri and embracing him. He smirked and continued out the door.

Yuuri's eyes were wide and his body stiffened. After a few seconds of the initial shock, Yuuri relaxed and felt a familiar warmth spread throughout his body. He took a deep breath, the smell of the ocean, which reminded him of home, and a hint of musk filled his nostrils. Arms tightened around his waist, his face moved in closer to the intoxicating smell. He could feel his body relaxing. Suddenly, those arms were gone, and a coldness swept over him.

"Sorry Yuuri… I…" Viktor was at a loss for words. He didn't know what overcame him and made him embrace Yuuri like that. "It looked like you needed a hug, especially after dealing with JJ." He said with a lilt to his voice trying to pass off as nonchalant and failing miserably. Yuuri didn't know what to say, so he nodded his head and sat down on the couch, feeling colder.

Viktor sat on the chair opposite of Yuuri and opened his notebook. "I want to start today and talk about the panic attack that you had during our last session." Yuuri slouched at the sound of that, and his hands started fidgeting in his lap.

It seems that's all he ever wants to talk about. Doesn't he realise I hate talking about them. I don't know why they happen, they just do.

"I know you don't like talking about them…" Yuuri gawked at Viktor, wondering if he could read his mind. "…but you need to understand them. We both do, we need to tackle the roots of the anxiety. Just like roots on a tree there are many and they are all connected." Yuuri solemnly nodded. Viktor continued. "Now, just before your panic attack during our session, what were you feeling?"

Yuuri wanted to tell Viktor about, what he feels are the shadows smothering him but wasn't sure if Viktor would even take him seriously or just laugh at him. It was the only way he knew how to describe it. How he saw it in his head. Before he knew it, words were coming out his mouth. "I feel like I'm being suffocated, everything goes dark and silent. My body tightens up and feels hot and cold, its so confusing. A weight feels like it's pressing on me holding me down making it hard for me to breathe." Yuuri sighed, he felt like a bit of that weight was lifted from his chest. He actively looked at his hands and avoided taking a glimpse at Viktor. He didn't want to see his face and be disappointed too soon.

Viktor's eyes widened slightly at the description Yuuri just gave, and how willingly he gave it. He put a finger to his mouth in thought. "What helps you get out of that darkness?"

There was a long pause while Yuuri thought about his answer. Not wanting to ruin the moment, Viktor remained silent and waited patiently. "I skate. Whenever I felt anxious or nervous about anything, I would go to the skating rink I practiced at and they would let me have the rink to myself. If I couldn't do that, then I would go to my old ballet instructor's studio and dance. But I never really got panic attacks back then."

Viktor smiled at the thought of Yuuri doing ballet. It made his heart pound in his chest. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "Yuuri, I'm going to ask you a difficult question, and I want you to really think about it. Take your time with it. Why do you think this happens to you? Not what science says, or the Psychiatrist says, or anything. Why do you think you get anxious and have your panic attacks?" It wasn't a difficult question, Yuuri already knew the answer to it.

"I'm weak." Yuuri whispered his answer.

"Yuuri, I think you're far from being weak."

"I am weak! I'm pathetic! I can't even make a simple decision without falling apart. I have a tough time going in public, constantly thinking people are judging me and criticizing me. That those same people are going to hurt me and bring me down even further." Yuuri started raising his voice in frustration. Not at Viktor, but at himself. He smashed a fist on the seat beside him. He glared at Viktor, daring him to challenge him.

Viktor took that challenge. "I disagree. I think for you to go through what you do and continue to do it everyday, makes you the strongest person I know..." Yuuri was surprised by his comment. Viktor continued, "…In order for us to continue, what is it that you want from me? What do you want me to be to you? Other than just a therapist, I can try and be more to help you grow and mend." Yuuri blinked in confusion. "Do you want me to be like a father figure?" Yuuri shook his head slowly. "A friend? A brother?" Yuuri shook his head again.

"I want you to be you." He was finally able to whisper out. A small blush formed on Viktor's cheeks. "I don't know what it is, but… but I trust you. I feel better just being around you."

Viktor stood up from his chair and walked over to Yuuri. His heart beating against his chest. He grabbed his hands and pulled him up from the couch. With the limited space between the couch and the coffee table, their bodies grazed against each other. "I can do that for you, Yuuri." Viktor said in a low whispered tone. He let go of his hands and pulled him into another embrace.