Temari staggers her way back to the hotel room. She fumbles with her key card, trying to figure out which way to slide it down the slot so the little green light will show up. She tries it twice before the light pops up and the door unlocks. She stares at the handle in a daze before she can gather herself and pushes down on the level. By then, the lock has already been reactivated. She grunts, silently cursing at the electric mechanism, and slides the card down. She leans her weight on the level and pushes her way into the hotel room. She can hear the television showing Gaara's cartoon. Is it already five o'clock? She didn't notice how quickly time passed while she was in the bar. She stumbles toward the couch and uses it to support herself.
"You're drunk," Kankuro says from the bed. "Where did you get alcohol?"
"This guy at the bar," Temari hiccups. She kicks off her shoes and falls on the couch. "You have no idea… what you can get men to do if you just show your boobs."
"What the hell, Temari, you aren't legal yet."
"So what? Plenty people drink underage. And who are you to talk, hmm? I know you've been smoking."
Kankuro shuts up. He walks over to the couch and helps Temari up. They walk around Gaara sitting on the floor and into the bathroom. Temari leans on the sink and coughs as an urge to empty her stomach rises. Kankuro gives her back a rub while she gags loudly and spits into the sink.
"Vodka isn't my drink," she mumbles. She grabs a tissue and wipes her mouth. She looks up at her reflection and then at Kankuro's. "You aren't mad at me anymore?"
"You know I can't stay mad at you," Kankuro answers. He looks away a little embarrassingly. "And you were right… about the whole protecting Gaara thing."
"I'm always right."
"Yeah, sure. But I really don't get it. What's so bad about Lee?"
"Don't say his name in front of me," Temari snaps. She gags loudly and pushes herself away from the sink. She staggers toward the toilet and leans over it. "I-I don't… want to hear how amazing he is. I don't… Ughh… I don't like him."
"It doesn't matter if you like him or not. Gaara likes him. He made me go look for him after he left."
"What!" Temari shouts before her stomach spasms and she vomits noisily into the toilet bowl. She takes a break and heaves heavily. She takes the tissue that Kankuro hands her and cleans her mouth.
"You want some water?"
"Y… Yes…"
"Alright, hang on."
Kankuro leaves the bathroom. Temari slumps over the toilet seat. She groans at the pain throbbing in her head. It isn't just the alcohol that is bugging her; she is also confused by Gaara's obsession with Lee. She lets out a whimper and leans over the toilet bowl. Her throat burns from the stomach acid and her jaw and abdomen muscles ache. Since she didn't eat lunch, she is regurgitating the peanuts and pretzels she ate at the bar. She winced at the disgusting re-taste of the snacks. She spits into the bowl, trying to clear any remnant in her mouth. She slaps herself mentally for thinking that alcohol will solve her problem. Apparently, she didn't drink enough of it; but it was hard to get the guy to keep buying her drinks once he realized that she wasn't going to put out.
"Here," Kankuro says, giving a glass of water to her.
"Thanks…" She gulps down half the glass and sighs. Maybe it is the alcohol getting to her head or maybe she is just feeling sentimental, she looks up at Kankuro and says, "You know I love you, right? I know I'm really mean but you know I do, right?"
"Y-yeah… I know," Kankuro answers awkwardly. He clears his throat and glances away. Shyly, he says, "And… same here."
"I try, Kankuro, I try so hard to be a good sister for you and Gaara. But… I keep messing up."
"Woah, hey now. You're an awesome sis. I mean, me and Gaara are a handful and somehow you manage."
"I miss Mom," Temari whimpers, a drop of tear trailing down her cheek. "I miss her so much."
"I miss her too…"
Temari purges the remaining content of her stomach into the bowl. She half-coughs-half-sobs at the barely digested food. Kankuro rubs a hand on her back up and down. He grabs more tissues and hands it over. Temari sniffles and blows her nose. She drops the crumbled ball into the bowl and flushes the toilet. She takes a breath to steady herself. She can't remember the last time she has cried in front of another person; it might have very well been at their mother's funeral and that was twelve years ago. Ever since their mother died, Temari kind of picked up the role of being the mother. In a way, Temari didn't have a childhood. She has held a job as soon as she was legally able to do so and helped out around the house. Kankuro and Gaara didn't make her job easy, neither did their father. If their mother were alive, Temari would've had a much easier life.
"If she was here, she'd know what to do. She'd take care of you and Gaara and me. She'd cook and take us to school and go with us on vacations. She wouldn't walk out on us."
"Yeah, well… we take care of each other and we're doing good so far," Kankuro says firmly, "we got each other's back. We don't need anybody."
"But it's so hard," Temari finally lets her inhibition goes and wails loudly. She has always put on the façade of being a tough young woman. Right now, she doesn't care how weak and vulnerable she looks.
"Hey, come on…" Kankuro kneels down and puts both hands on her shoulders. "You know I hate seeing people cry."
"I'm such a horrible sister."
"No, you are not," Kankuro says. He rubs her arms and tries to comfort her. "You know you aren't a horrible sister so shut up about it."
"Gaara hates me! He won't let me t-touch him. He d-doesn't talk to me. He won't even l-look at m-me! And then that asshole, Lee, c-comes along and Gaara is, like, in love with him. W-what's so special about him anyways? H-he's just a 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' freak."
"C'mon, Temari, why are you getting jealous over that? I know it sucks but… Gaara finally takes an interest in someone and you can't be happy for him?"
"Why can't he take an interest in me?"
"Don't ask me. Maybe it's 'cause you're a chick?" Kankuro chuckles. He squeezes Temari's shoulder and asks, "Do you think Gaara is gay? That explains why he likes guys more."
"Stop kidding around," Temari hiccups. She wipes her eyes and blows her nose. She takes a sharp breath and says, "I-I love and care about him so much but he won't even c-call me by my name. Sometimes I just think… What am I to him? A servant? Does he know I'm his sister? Does he even love me back? Would he notice if I was gone?"
"Oh, give me a break. Of course Gaara loves you. He just shows it differently. I mean, you aren't expecting him to give you a big hug and kiss."
Temari rubs her eyes. She gives up trying to save her eye make-up. She can't see herself in the mirror but she is pretty sure she looks like a raccoon by now. She sighs and invites air into her lungs. She can feel the alcohol leaving her system but her head is still heavy and she wants to sleep. She gets up, with Kankuro's help, and leans on the sink to wash her face. It feels relieving to let out all the bottled up feelings in her chest. Maybe getting drunk tonight has been a good choice. She knows she'll regret it in the morning when she wakes up with a hang-over. What bothers her the most and makes her want to cry again is knowing that tomorrow will not be any different than today. Their mother will still be dead. Their father will have walked out on them. Gaara will still need special care. Nothing will be better when the sun rises.
She takes the towel Kankuro hands her and dries her face. She pats her cheeks and breathes out of her mouth. She drinks the rest of the water and hands the glass to Kankuro. They walk out of the bathroom together. The cartoon is over and Gaara has chosen to occupy himself by playing with his Lego blocks. He is stacking each block on top of the other. The tower is almost half his height. She squints when she sees something sticking on Gaara's forehead.
"What's that… on his forehead?"
"Oh, Lee gave him a sticker and he stuck it there."
Temari stumbles over and almost knocks down Gaara's block tower. She leans close and looks through Gaara's bang to see a glittery red heart sticker on the left side of his forehead. At any other time, she would've ripped the sticker off and thrown it away. Right now, she is too sad and tired to deal with it. She walks over to the bed and flumps down on the cover. Kankuro has to come over and helps her into bed. She feels like a little girl and remembers how their mother used to tuck them in every night. She rolls on to her back and gazes up at Kankuro.
"How old are you now, Kankuro?"
"Huh? I am sixteen. Why?"
"You're so grown up..."
Kankuro grins at her and helps tucked her into bed. Temari rolls on her side. Her head feels heavy and her eyes close quickly. Sleep doesn't come immediately. Rather, a state of drowsiness takes over. She drifts in and out of consciousness, faintly hearing Kankuro asking Gaara what he wants to eat. Gaara says an answer that Temari doesn't hear clearly. She makes a small yawn then sleep finally comes.
Temari wakes up at eight o'clock when her phone starts vibrating. She has forgotten that she has set up an alarm. Her head feels a little better but she still feels tired and beat. She gets out of bed and quietly walks into the bathroom to get ready for the day. She knows Gaara is a heavy sleeper and won't be disturbed by her. Kankuro, on the other hand, can be problematic. Temari knows he hasn't been getting enough sleep from crashing on the couch. She does feel a tad bit bad for being stingy and not wanting to pay for a cot. Kankuro will definitely complaint of bad pain in the near future and Temari doesn't want to hear it. It isn't that she can't afford it for the extra fifty dollars a night; she has already spent a fortune on the trip. It just, somewhere in her mind, she thinks it will be good for Kankuro. Maybe she even sees it as a kind of punishment.
She turns on the faucet and washes her face with warm water. She checks her post-drunk reflection on the large mirror and groans inwardly at the bags under her eyes. She stretches her skin and tries to hide the thin wrinkles. She is only 18; she shouldn't have wrinkles for another thirty years. She blames having to take care of her brothers while juggling a job and going to community college. Most people can graduate college in four years. Thanks for her busy schedule, Temari is on a six-year plan as a part-time student.
She thinks back to yesterday and the conversation she has with her brother in the bathroom. She can't remember all of it but she recalls talking about how difficult it is for Temari to take care of the family. Kankuro'll never know the nights she stays up thinking about the future and crying when she realizes how hopeless it can be. She will be happy if he will just wash the dishes or do the laundry for once. She knows she can't rely on Gaara to help out with chores; Kankuro should know better.
She heads back into the room and chooses something nice but casual to wear. She changes quickly in the bathroom and works on putting a light layer of make-up. She needs it to cover up her fatigued appearance but doesn't want to look like a tramp. She chooses a classy pair of earrings and puts it on. She grabs her pajama and walks into the room. She throws her clothes on the bed and picks up her purse on the bed stand. She stands between the two beds and watches Gaara sleep for a moment. He looks really tranquil and content as if sleep is the only solace he has from the stress of daily life. She leans toward her brother with caution, like he is a dangerous tiger that can bite her arm off. She caresses his cheek and releases a quiet sigh. She frowns at the glittering heart sticker on his forehead but doesn't peel it off. She can let him have something to remember Lee by.
She turns toward the door and sees Kankuro stirring from the couch. He blinks open a tired eye and squints. He yawns loudly and stretches his arms. He pushes himself up, eying Temari groggily.
"Where you off to?" He grabs his phone and checks the time. "It's only 8."
"I'm going to get us breakfast. I know you didn't like the hotel food."
"We can go together when Gaara is up."
"No, I read about this place. They open at 9 every day and serve the best pancake in town. It says there is usually an hour long wait. I figure I'll go ahead and see for myself."
"That must be some pretty damn good pancakes," Kankuro says through a yawn.
"Hopefully there isn't already a line waiting outside."
"How you feeling? No hang-over?"
"I'm good. I'll probably get some aspirins on my way."
"Alright… Good luck with the pancakes."
"Take care of Gaara," Temari instructs.
She walks toward the door and puts on her low heels. Kankuro grabs his pillow off the couch and staggers toward the bed. He throws Temari's pajama on the bed stand and snuggles into bed. He heaves a loud and content sigh.
"I miss you bed," he mumbles as he pulls the comforter up to his chest and rolls on his side.
Temari waits to hear Kankuro's quiet snoring before she leaves the room. She walks through the lobby and finds the ATM machine. She checks her account balance on the machine. She doesn't like the number she sees. She has less than a thousand dollars left and that is supposed to help them survive till the end of the month. She doesn't have to worry about the trip since she has set a strict budget for it and they aren't close to reaching the limit. She will just have to cut down their expenses until their father sends her the next check. She walks out of the hotel and breathes in the eight o'clock weather.
The morning air is fresh and less humid. The whole city seems to be different from the afternoon and night scene. The city is quiet and peaceful. Birds greet each other with morning songs. Senior citizens walk slowly on the beach; couples holding each other's hand. There are less excited college students around; they are probably still hung-over from the night before. Temari heads toward the taxi lobby and waits for a cab. Since it isn't check-out time, there aren't many people waiting for transportation. She gets in the cab and shows the business card to the driver. The driver looks at the address on the card and eyes her through the rear-view mirror with a curious look. He doesn't make a comment and drives off.
The radio muffles a talk show that Temari isn't interested in listening. She gazes out the window and takes in the scenery that she hasn't had a good chance to look at. It is such a typical beach city that Temari has seen on TV and movies. Tall palm trees and flashy buildings decorate the city. It's a livelier sight than their desert home but Temari isn't finding anything special about it. The humidity, first of all, is driving her and her hair crazy. She is glad she remembered to bring the anti-frizz or she will be walking around with a big, blonde afro. She misses their home and the dryness that surrounds it. Sure, she has to deal with chapped lips and skins but it's better than feeling like a hot sauna everywhere she goes.
The cab takes a left and gets on the freeway. They leave the beach behind and gets off at the suburban area. The cab drives through a residential area that is filled with tall trees and bushes. The area is rich and occupy by wealthy elites. They drive past an elementary school that looks ten-times better than Gaara's school. The driver turns left at the streetlight and makes a right through an open gate and into a wide driveway. It pulls up to the front door of a two-story house. Temari pays the hefty fare and asks the driver to wait for her. She gets off the car and takes a look at the house. She walks up the steps and rings the door bell. While she waits to be greeted, she looks at the wooden bench sitting on the porch. Someone has left a notebook on it. She turns back to the door and rings the bell again when no one answers. She checks the time; someone should be home.
She looks to the window by the front door and sees the white lace curtain moving. Someone's eye peeks out at her. The curtain quickly falls and hides the unknown looker. She hears footsteps heading to the door and takes a step back. The door opens and a brown-haired man smiles at her as he works the lock on the gate.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," the man says after he opens the door. "It's so nice to see you again, Temari. Come on in."
"Thanks, Mr. Umino," she says.
"Oh, please call me Iruka."
Iruka holds the door open while Temari walks in. He closes the door and locks it again. Temari takes off her shoes and puts them by the shoe racks. She slips on the slippers offered to her by Iruka. It feels funny to wear slippers indoor but she knows it is for a good reason.
"How are you today?" Iruka asks with a warm smile.
"As good as I can be," Temari answers in a low voice. She puts on a weak smile to match Iruka's but fails miserably.
"How is Gaara?"
"He's… good. He is just… him."
Iruka leads Temari down the small hallway and walk into the living room. There are two couches placed in a perpendicular. One of them faces the window while the other faces the television. A teenage girl with her hair in two buns is sitting on the couch reading a book.
"Tenten, this is Temari," Iruka says.
Tenten looks up from the book. She winks her left eye. Temari is a little put-off by the wink. Tenten waves and mutters a quiet greeting before she goes back to reading.
"Do you mind leaving the room to us?"
"Sure," Tenten says. She gets off her couch. Her left eye winks again and she acts like it didn't even happen. "Can I get something to eat?"
"Of course you can."
Tenten snickers happily and walks out of the living room. Temari catches her winking her eye before she leaves. She sits down on the couch and looks at the pot of coffee ready and waiting on the coffee table. She takes the cup and takes a sip. She puts it back on the saucer and looks over at Iruka.
"I'm sorry about what happened yesterday," Temari says, "Gaara can be a little… intense… sometimes."
"I understand completely."
"That's why… I think it might be a good idea to move him in there… at least for a while."
"I told a little bit about us yesterday already. We have trained attendants to take care of the children so you don't have to worry about anything. I promise we'll take good care of Gaara."
"Is there anyone living here with his condition? Maybe that'll help him get adjusted easier."
"We do actually, but his condition is less severe than Gaara's, though I'm sure he'll be very willing and excited to meet Gaara."
"That's good… but I'm warning you now, Gaara doesn't play nice at all. Just yesterday he attacked this guy he knew."
"I'm sure it won't be a problem," Iruka smiles. "And if it does, we'll know how to deal with it."
It makes Temari feels a little better about the decision to admit Gaara to Leaf Village Home. Their father is the one who told her about the place and how Gaara can benefit from it. She doesn't want to leave Gaara to the hands of strangers but she doesn't have a choice. She takes a detailed look around the living room and gets the vibe that her brother will probably be better off here. There will be professional people who will tend to his need. He will have teachers to help him continue his education. He will have other children to play with. Temari hates to admit it but Gaara is rather neglected back home. Aside from chores, Temari has to keep up with her schoolwork. Sometimes, she can barely keep an eye out for Gaara and wish he would stay put in one place. Kankuro is easily distracted by TV and video games. Temari remembers walking into Kankuro's room to find Kankuro completely taken in by his computer game while Gaara sits in the corner and stares at the floor. It makes her feel bad but there is nothing she can do. In Leaf Village Home, Temari thinks Gaara may finally get the attention he deserves.
"So, Gaara can start living here at the end of this week? That's when our 'vacation' is over."
"Oh, yes, we'll be ready for him. Do you need help with moving in?"
"No… I figure I'd settled him down first before I send all of his stuff over here."
"It would help him adjust quicker if we can decorate his room similarly to the one back home."
"I know… but Gaara's really good at adapting to new environment. He didn't even make a fuss about the hotel room. I'll get what we have with us over here and he'll be set."
"That will be perfectly fine." Iruka scoots to the edge of the couch and leans a little closer toward Temari. "Have you talked to your other brother about it?"
"No, Kankuro doesn't know anything about it."
"Excuse me for intruding but I think this is an important decision that needs to be discussed by the whole family. Any stress from a family member can greatly affect how Gaara will react to the news."
"I know," Temari says with a sigh, "I'll tell him today. I just wanted him to have fun with Gaara… while he still can."
"I know this is very hard for you but I assure you we have the best intention for Gaara in mind."
"I just want you to know that this isn't a permanent thing," Temari says, her voice breaking up a little. She sniffs and bites down on her lip. "This is just… a daycare for Gaara until I can get the money to take him home with us. I'm not dumping my little brother off… I just need… a little time to get my stuff together."
"I think I've mentioned this before," Iruka says, "we have an outpatient program where Gaara can spend a week or two or even just a few days with us, if that's what you prefer."
"Like summer camp?"
"You can say that."
"I don't know… I'll have to think about that… I don't want Gaara going back and forth between places. He'll get frustrated."
"Whatever you feel is the best choice for Gaara will probably be the right choice. You know him better than I do."
Temari nods and tries hard to smile. The alcohol must still be coursing through her system because she feels like crying again. The corner of her lips twitch and her eyesight gets blurry from water. Iruka slides a box of tissue over but doesn't deliberately offer one to her. She sniffles and takes a deep breath. She sips a more gulp of her coffee to jumpstart her day. She grabs her purse and stands up.
"I-I think that's all I need to know now," she says.
"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask," Iruka says, standing up as well.
"Thank you. I'll be back Friday."
"And we'll be ready. I look forward to seeing you and your family then."
Iruka shows Temari the way out of the living room. Faint footsteps sound from the staircase a little further down the hall. Iruka looks up and waves at the person walking down the stairs.
"That's one of our outpatients," Iruka says. "He's a really sweet boy."
Temari turns around and looks up the stairs. Her eyes are still a little blurry from tears but she can clearly make out who it is. She gasps loudly. Her body goes stiff. A rage and panic boil up inside her. She brings her hand up and points an accusing finger.
"You!?"
Lee narrows his eyes but gasps loudly when he sees who it is. He looks frantically from Iruka to Temari. The gauze over his eye has been taken off. He takes a step back up the stairs.
"I-I am sorry," Lee stammers. "I am sorry!"
Before Temari can say another word, Lee runs back upstairs. Temari runs to the base of the staircase and looks up to the second floor. She turns to Iruka, who is a little lost on the whole situation.
"Do you know Lee?" Iruka asks.
"He is a patient here? What's wrong with him?"
"There is nothing _wrong _with Lee," Iruka answers defensively.
"Then why does he live here?" Temari raises her voice.
"Lee needs a little help every now and then," Iruka responds calmly, "but he is a very loving boy."
"What kind of help? Is he suicidal? I saw the cuts on his arm. And his eye. What's the matter with his eye?"
"I am afraid I can't tell you that information."
"No, you don't understand. That little creep's been hanging out with Gaara. I don't want my brother picking up anything from him. Gaara can't stay here if that guy is here."
Iruka keeps his lips pressed tight. He looks a bit appalled, disappointed, and offended. Temari swallows and calms herself. She knows she probably shouldn't have called Lee a 'creep' in front of a person who helps special children for a living. She desperately wants to know what Lee suffers from. She really won't be surprised if he is suicidal. She has just found yet another reason to ban Lee forever from Gaara's life.
"I'm sorry… but I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Iruka says, dropping the smile he usually has. "I really don't appreciate you referring the children with such… cruel terms."
"Look, okay, I overreacted… but you have to understand… I don't want him hurting Gaara."
"I assure you, Temari, Lee will never hurt Gaara. He is a very harmless, delicate, and fragile person. Just because he lives with us, it doesn't mean that he is a potentially dangerous person. I hope you will understand that before you move Gaara here. We are a community that supports each other and I can't admit someone whose family has such a negative attitude."
"Okay, you're right," Temari breathes out. "I-I understand… Gaara'll stay… as long as you guarantee me that Lee will not do anything to him."
Iruka nods but Temari can tell that she has lost some points with him. He walks her out of the house and they say good-bye at the front porch. She climbs back into the waiting cab and asks to be taken back to the hotel. She leans against the seat and stares at the second floor windows. Her decision to send Gaara away has just become harder.