My Years of Rejection
Disclaimer: Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. You are all wonderful, especially those who press me more!
Summary:
He had rejected her from the beginning. She had chosen to be isolated avoiding him. Life makes circles. They meet years later dealing with the remains of their attitude.
Chapter Six: Jealousy.
End of Chapter Five:
"They were jealous of you Bella."
It didn't make sense. I thought I had heard wrong. But since he was there I had nothing to loose. So I asked.
"Jealous? About what?" My decision was made one hundred per cent but I was really curious. Frankly, his approach had started to bother me, especially when he tried to justify Tanya's actions. Whatever the reason, the target was me and the excuses about her behavior were lame.
Edward was looking at me straight in the eyes but the odd thing was the pressure I was feeling on my arm. I could have been mistaken, but I thought I sensed his thump slightly caressing my arm over my shirt. The gesture would have been too friendly if that was the case. He must had noticed my light discomfort and let my arm free, never taking his eyes away. I was waiting.
"Can we sit ..." was all he managed to say before the first aggressive stalls of the rain appeared on the surface of the pond. Fork's weather was not a surprise. I covered my head with the hood and pulled the zipper high, close to my neck, but I was feeling the water dumping all my clothes. I knew we were away from the road so the only temporary shelter would be a tree. Edward had no hood on and water was already dripping from his chin.
"Come with me," I heard him mumbling and his hand was again back on my arm. He was now almost dragging me towards the nearest dry spot under a huge pine tree.
The spot was wide enough for too people but we would have to sit down. Edward was already clearing the spot and I was left agape watching him. We were not "company". Still, I needed that answer. After a few seconds he gestured me to sit beside him by extending his arm towards me.
I stood in the rain for a few seconds, debating with my self. A loud thud was enough. I instinctively took his hand and by jumping over some rocks, I got under the tree. It was getting colder minute by minute.
"You don't like the rain, do you?" Edward was speaking right next to my ear and the goosebumps on my skin were definitely not only from the cold.
"No, I don't. I don't like wet...things. Ugh," was my response and it was the truth. I must have looked extremely disappointed. I was but it was not only the rain that was bothering me. The whole situation was awkward and the space between us was really small. I could smell him while breathing.
Damn he smells nice, I though and turn my face away in order to get some fresh air.
I felt him shifting beside me. He was trying to rearrange his position. Edward was a tall boy. I was so much smaller than him. I felt intimidated again. The rain was getting heavier. I guess I would have to endure this meeting longer than I could allow my self. He was silent. I was not sure if there was a point in bringing our previous discussion back. He surprised me though.
"Are you cold?" He sounded concerned.
"A little. I am sure you are colder than me. You are all wet." He was. I took a minute to "inspect" him with the corner of my eyes. No. Nothing less attractive. On the contrary , the guy looked even better. The color of his hair was darker and his eyes more green. His shirt was also wet and tight. I could not but marvel the well muscled but lean and broad shoulders, the flat stomach and what looked like perfect forearms. I had to look away cause the familiar the butterflies in my stomach should not be there. And then he started.
"I would be jealous of you if I was a girl."
I turned and looked at him with my mouth open. He was looking straight ahead, towards the rain. His arms were hugging his knees and his chin was on top of them.
"I am not surprised you didn't noticed. You were always so focused on achieving your goals and you made it look so easy."
How do you know? I wanted to ask but I let him do the talking. I had talked too much already.
"You always look sure about what you want. Needless to say about your marks and all the extra work you managed to complete. Some students were more intimidated by you than you think."
"Me?"
"Yes. We were all straggling to get a place in the newspaper and you showed up in school and got in immediately. Then we all found out about your advanced classes and read your articles."
"You did?"
"Yeah. I have to admit Bella, your thoughts about drug problems and violence in school could be in every serious paper in the country. You were...are just too good."
"I don't know," I almost whispered. I could not disagree that school was not that difficult for me. Still, it could be more pleasant. Cause where I was a total failure was socializing.
"And...there is more..." he added and turned his head towards me.
I felt a small hesitation in his voice and my curiosity was definitely killing the cat inside me. More?
"Did you see the time schedule for the paper?"
"Yes...I did," I mumbled, not sure if I should add my observations or not.
"We work good together Bella. You must have noticed the pairing. By that only, you should know that I don't hate you."
"Yeah...I noticed. I just don't get it though. What that has to do with jealousy. I always had the support role, could not take decisions upon myself and the others always counted your opinion more than mine." It was exactly what I thought was happening.
"About the hate part...It was what I was receiving Edward..."
"I may was a little distant but there is no hate Bella." His voice was steady but I could say he had more to add.
"Maybe we were both a little distant. And I think I kept some of our classmates by my side."
"I am confused," was all I could say. I knew he was still holding back something bigger.
"I am not sure how to put this. Let's just say that Tanya and the girls "thought" I ...didn't like you and they played along. When things went further than expected it was too late to prevent them from almost bulling you. I saw it too late. I was too focused on my interests and goals too. Yes, I could be more supportive." He paused and took a deep breath.
"You were just better Bella and I was too selfish to let everybody know about it."
Silence followed by both of us.
"You are leaving tomorrow?" His question was loud enough to break the mess of thoughts inside my head. Seemed a rhetorical question. Despite what happened there was nothing to make me rethink my departure. He had not even made things totally clear.
"Yes. I am," I said and stood up. The rain had stopped a few minutes ago and I could see the sun behind the clouds. Still , something was holding me back, under the tree. I turned and saw him looking at me, obviously expecting a more fitting reaction.
"I think you should stay," he whispered. I just stared. The guy looked disappointed if not depressed .
"Bella I...I am sor-: but the sound of my cell burned the moment. It was my father.
"Bells, I am coming home earlier. Jake is also coming. He want's to say goodbye...Okay?"
"Okay dad, I will be there soon," I replied but with not a particularly happy tone.
Jake...The only boy I though as a true friend there. Unfortunately he was a student at the reservation, otherwise we could have supported each other in Forks High. It was just that I hated goodbyes.
I put my cell in my pocket and started walking away from the shadow of the tree. I felt Edward following me towards a sunny spot near the pond, close to the path.
"Bella, wait." His sounded a little anxious and in a second he was walking beside me.
"I have to go. My father is coming home earlier," I mumbled as I was trying not to look at him.
We were now both walking through the path, almost side by side. He was too close again.
"So this is it?" I heard Edward whispering, almost like talking to himself.
"You don't have to follow me you know. I think you should go back to school. Maybe you can still avoid detention for ditching." I must have sounded really cruel but all I wanted was to have my head clear again. Edward's presence was not helping.
"It is almost three Bella. School is over," he answered and I stopped walking.
"I...I kind of lost the time were there." It was the truth.
"Me too." He sounded serious and slightly...satisfied?
We had just reached the road and I knew that his house was on the opposite direction. We stood awkwardly at the side, waiting for someone to speak. I finally spoke first.
"Weird situation. I am still confused."
"I know. Seems my talking skills are a little disoriented when it comes to you." He paused and kept looking at me.
"Listen Bella... I may be late but I am ..." This time I waved him to stop. There was no point. I was suspecting the whole thing would be about "sorry". I just didn't need one.
"It is okay Edward...See you." And I left. At that point there was always the debate of turning to see for reactions. I won. I did not look back.
A horn behind me took my attention on the road. Jake was looking at me with a Mona Lisa type of smile on his face. Later I found out it was both about disappointment and encouragement.
As the voice of the pilot was informing us about landing, I searched for the little wooden wolf hugging from the charm Charlie had bought me for my birthday. Jake told me that it symbolized protection. I knew he just wanted me to have it so that I would remember him. I would anyway.
The last thing I checked was the ball of the totally rumbled paper I was still carrying with me. It was in my messenger bag. But I had no explanation about why it was not in a trash can.
Half an hour later, a tanned Renee and a new house made things a little brighter.
A/N: Happy new year everybody. I missed you all. Please tell me what you think. Thank you for reading!
PS: Go read: "Habits of a day", by Natalone09. Very different style of writing .