~6~
To Harry's eternal surprise, Moody and others came to pick him up. He was glad to see Lupin...well, sort of. While Sirius had kept up his correspondence with Harry all through the last year, even with the Tournament and being on the run as a dog, Lupin hadn't. Harry hadn't forgotten that, or the fact that it took half the year going by and him hearing his parents murders around Dementors for the werewolf to come out and say that he was a friend of James Potter.
The Voice's running commentary in his head was interesting though as she expressed her opinion on everyone.
Moody:
"Moody's very typically Pureblood, huh, can't really think outsdie its box. I mena really you could take a cab and it would be less suspicious and Death Eaters would have no clue how to track it. Commercialised private transport is a relative anathema in that world."
The Auror Nymphadora Tonks:
"Ooh Tonks, so many fan theories. They say her very constantly changing her looks is to distance herself from the fact that she looks a lot like Bellatrix Lestrange, her aunt and Death Eater extraordinaire. It might also be to thumb her nose at all the Black family's blood purists because she got the really rare ability as a half-blood while they inbred into insanity and death. Popular pairing choice with you, older woman-younger man combo."
Elphias Doge/Dedalus Diggle:
"I think he's the one who's Dumbledore's bitch. Old friend or something. Or was that the Diggle guy? Minor character I think, probably only really read them in fanfiction rather than canon. I think one of them was a wizard who would spy on you kinda like Figg."
Kingsley Shacklebolt:
"Ooh, BAMF alert. They always put him in as the Minister of Magic in Post-War fics once Voldie and the rest are offed. Probably the only Order member who actually does shit. I think he might be the auror who's in charge of Sirius' case and he plants false info to distract people."
Emmeline Vance:
"Probably died or didn't do much. Don't remember her."
Sturgis Podmore:
"Dunno, I think he does something shady or ...wait, okay so the internet tells me he gets put under Imperius curse and shoved into Azkaban for trying to break into the Department of Mysteries while he was doing the Order's guard duty of the Prophecy place. I don't want to victim blame but seriously Dumbledore should have known better than to put him on guard duty there, it's not like Death Eater's use Unforgivables frugally or something. Hell, last year the Death Eater teaching you DADA used it on everyone just to teach you how to throw it off."
Hestia Jones:
"Is she as hot as fanon makes her out to be? Really, not a single fanfic where she isn't totally banging and they always make her related to some Quidditch player. Dunno if that's true."
They flew on brooms over towns under Disillusionment charms. The rest of them tired easily while Harry had no problems whatsoever. There was no way any of them would last for even an hour under the training regime Oliver had the Gryffindor team run through every week.
Eventually, they landed and Kingsley handed him a scrap of paper.
"The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London."
Finally, Harry could think of the number twelve and Grimmauld place together without that weird slipping sensation, as if he'd been confounded. And as the thought grew concrete, a house seemingly emerged from between the two they'd been standing in front of. Moody ushered them in quickly and they began talking in hushed whispers.
"I thought this was supposed to be a secure place why are you whispering?" Harry asked and got only grunts and apologetic glances form the rest, Lupin telling him that he would explain later. Luckily for him he had an omniscient voice in his head.
"Velkommen to the House of Black, haunted by the bigoted portrait of Walburga Black who yells and screeches like a crazy person. Possibly because she is, the Black family hasn't produced the most mentally stable people in the world. Bellatrix is Special to say the least and Sirius isn't what someone would call a well adjusted adult either."
They pushed Harry along, up the stairs telling him where to go to find Hermione and Ron but he waited in the hallways outside a bit, in a chatty mood.
"I won't be able to talk to you as much now."
"Relax, I don't need you to talk to me for me to talk to you. Plus I get some sense of what you're thinking, the book is written in your point of view after all, there's just a bit of lag sometimes. And don't tell Ron and Hermione, alright?"
"Why not?" He didn't tell them everything of course, but this was something so huge. While Harry didn't think he'd tell them right now, especially since his anger at their withholding information wasn't completely gone, at some point he thought he would.
"Ron is still the same kid who told you Second year that hearing voices even in the Wizarding world is strange. He is also the same person who shut you out for a good chunk of last year while you were in a life threatening tournament. Not a bad person, but maybe not someone to be given such sensitive information.
And Hermione is that girl, the one who reads a psychology book and thinks she understands people. She'll think you're nuts and try to fix you. Or she'll go crying to McGonagall or Dumbledore with it and then be outraged when they do nothing and then try to fix you herself.
If either of them told you that they heard a voice in their head, one that said they weren't exactly real but characters in a book, would you believe them?"
Harry would have liked to think he would.
Or, he'd send them to Madame Pomphrey. Yeah, that was just as likely.
"Really though, the main reason is because this year they are the prefects for Gryffindor house."
Harry hadn't realised he wanted to be a prefect until he felt the stab of disappointment at that. Why Ron, and not him? What was Dumbledore playing at? But, just as importantly-, "Why is that a problem?"
"Hermione and Ron combined like that is volatile. Neither of the three of you should even be considered for the job especially since you break more rules than Fred and George do. It should be Neville and Parvati, really. But I digress, Ron and Hermione hit some rocky patches this year, there's a lot of yelling and blaming that goes on later, hormones and shit. It would have been a lot worse if Umbridge wasn't uniting them in their hatred for her. I don't want you telling them things that they end up using as ammunition in a fight and revealing to another Order member."
"Fine." He muttered, still unhappy with it and opened the door to the room he would be staying in.
He was almost knocked out under the force of Hermione's hug and as Pigwidgeon fluttered around the room, he realised he couldn't quite distinguish between the little owl's noises and Hemrione's shirekds. Was she always this shrill?
A barrage of information hit him as she talked and talked and talked about his feelings, about their shite letters, about the house, about Dementors and it took considerable effort on Ron's part to get her to stop.
And then they looked at him expectantly.
"I expect you're mad at us." Hermione said softly and Ron nodded.
"We wanted to tell you mate but Dumbledore-"
"Made you swear not to tell, I got that." It had been part of Hermione's word vomit and his lack of reaction to it caused a tense silence to follow. Harry grinned, smug and sarcastic, "It's fine, I'm not going to be telling you lot anything either. But instead of Dumbledore, it's my conscience telling me not to."
Inwardly, Harry sniggered at his choice of words, conscience indeed. They squirmed; Hermione and Ron had only ever seen him being snarky when he was feeling particularly petulant and useless. So usually when a teacher refused to take their Yearly Big Bad Problem seriously or something had tried to kill him and luckily failed.
"I'm glad you're alright," Hermione said trying to break the tension, "When Dumbledore found out about the Dementor he got mad. The way he was with Mundungus, it was scary."
"Right. Mundungus. Let's just hope the other Order memebrs aren't as shite as him."
"Hate Mundungus. He's a worthless son of a bitch."
Harry remembered then that that was the first thing he'd heard the Voice say to him. That she hated Mundungus.
"He's not very good is he?" He asked aloud. It was a question for the Voice but Hermione was the one who answered.
"He isn't the best person perhaps, but he's useful."
"Knows all the shady people, the Knocturn alley lot ad all that." Ron added.
"Dude that's a bullshit excuse. I've only ever watched cop shows and even I know that if you have a confidential informant in a place where you're collecting sensitive information you set up a meeting point that isn't the main headquarters. The man's a thief; he's weak, morally, magically in every way. Really, the only reason I can see why he isn't a Death Eater, is because he's so weak he can't stomach the things Death Eaters do and that doesn't equate to him automatically being good."
He met the rest of the young Weasleys soon enough. Fred and George popped in, Apparating and telling Harry about Extendable Ears, Ginny coming out of another door and explaining all about Imperturbable Charms on doors to stop eavesdropping and then, the piece de resistance, them telling Harry that Snape of all people was an Order member, one of the most important ones too, as a spy.
"Heads up, while Snape seems like a shithead, everything he does is calculated to a) Pay off the life debt he has from your dad, b) Honour the memory of Lily Potter nee Evans, your mother and his former best friend."
"What?!" Harry's outburst earned the attention of everyone else but they dismissed it as being all about Snape.
Which it was but Snape and his Mom? Best friends? How did that happen?
"Ooh, Snape is a half-blood and he lived in the same neighbourhood as your mum. Even before she got her letter, she knew she was a witch because he told her, and Petunia liked to eavesdrop and she found out too. She wanted to go with Lily to Hogwarts and when Dumbledore wrote to tell her that wasn't happening she went crazy with jealousy!"
Every time Harry thought his life couldn't get weirder, couldn't get more dramatic, it happened.
Seriously, how? Wasn't he a good person? Couldn't he get a nice calm life in some small village in the country where the houses looked like they were little dollhouses made to scale?
"So many fan theories about it dude, but I'll tell you later, now change topics and...Ask about the other Weasleys, that's what you do in the books, play along."
Right, play along. As if he hadn't just been handed life-ruining information.
But he did what she told him and learnt all about the rest. Bill Weasley and his thing with Fleur, Charlie and the Order's plan to get foreign wizards' support. Percy Weasley and his fuckery, cutting off all ties to the Weasleys.
He didn't know why he was surprised but he was.
The Voice said differently.
"Percy's very serious and he trusts the government. Innocent until proven guilty and all that and he has only ever known you as the troublemaker, he doesn't trust you. In many ways it probably hurts him more, that he isn't taken seriously as a Weasley, instead his parents, his entire family is choosing to take the word of this boy who they've known for a few years and already consider their new son. For someone who feels like an outsider looking in, these things can be damaging. He's still a dick but you get where he's coming from."
Then suddenly Mrs Weasley was coming up the stairs. Harry hadn't been listening to the others at all, it was all stuff that the Voice had already told him so he tuned them out and listened to Her instead.
"-have dinner now. Everyone's dying to see you, Harry. And who's left all those dungbombs outside?"
"Crookshanks," Ginny lied, very well, in fact. Then again, this was the same person who'd managed to keep the fact that she was possessed by Tom Riddle's soul, a secret. It could just be the influence of Riddle but Harry looked at her suspiciously. She was behaving strangely, no more stuttering around him, no nervousness. Lying without a flinch. Could she be trusted?
He'd ask the Voice later.
"Kreacher?"
"The house-elf who lives here," Ron said, just as the Voice said the same.
"Didn't I already tell you about this? He's the Black family house elf. Super loyal if you're a blood supremacist or Regulus Black. Not otherwise."
Harry walked down the stairs to dinner while the Voice told him that he had to be careful with Kreacher because he, like Dobby, interpreted 'loyalty to Black family' loosely and there were many people related to the Blacks that were more suitable to his bigoted tastes. Meanwhile, Hermione and Ron still argued about SPEW.
He got why the Voice didn't want him telling them about her, now. When they got into arguments they didn't understand things like whispering. He ignored the Order members that were streaming out of the door, pausing to look at him in excitement—the bloody berks— before moving out. His resolve lasted right until Tonks tripped over the umbrella stand and made a loud crash.
And then, there was screaming. A rabid looking lady in a portrait, foaming at the mouth, yelling about Blood Purity and more.
"That's Sirius' mom." Harry watched in open mouthed awe and disgust as Sirius and Lupin struggled shut the curtains on the portrait. "The words, 'That bitch cray' come to mind." She said with glee.
"Hello, Harry," Sirius said, panting from the effort. "I see you've met my mother."
"If my Aunt wasn't a muggle, I'm pretty sure they'd get along like a house on fire." Harry observed and Sirius' barking laughter filled the hallway. "She says 'mudbloods' in the exact the same way Petunia says 'freak'."
Sirius flung his arm around Harry with a mad grin. "Missed you, Harry." He said and Harry rubbed his nose, pleased.
"You and Sirius have so much in common, no wonder you went nuts when he died."
"WHAT?!"
"Fuck, probably shouldn't have told you that yet."