AN: My God, you guys deliver! Thank you all so much for the suggestions. And I'm saying this now, I won't get to every single one of them; this is all cherry picking for me. This one was suggested by four people: femi ogundiya, Jonesy, BlueKat12345, and ajjr12. I would rather write this than "Save the Date."
"So, you'll be gone for the whole weekend?" Linka asks sadly on the walkie-talkie with her best friend.
"Affirmative. I haven't seen my cousins since I was a little kid. Plus, it's New York, Linka! How cool is that?!" Claudia answers, ecstatically.
"Yeah, that is awesome! I guess I can handle being friendless for one weekend."
"Stop acting like a privileged brat. You got ten brothers and you know other people than me." Muffled voices on Claudia's end. "My mom's calling me. We'll meet on Monday."
"Okay, bye." Linka disconnected the call. She sighs heavily, "What am I going to do this weekend? I already see my brothers enough as it is and hanging out with Claudia is a regular occurrence." Linka is a very active girl. Maybe it's because of the lifestyle she lives in, or maybe it's because she's the "woman with the plan", but she always has something to do.
Suddenly, her hand-me-down laptop chimes; a video call request. She accepts it and a familiar Latino-American boy's face appears.
"Robbie Dan?" She question, excitedly.
"You better recognize, Lame-O." She shakes her head at the nickname but couldn't hold back the chuckle.
Robbie Dan Santiago from the first chapter. He was Linka's bully but over time, the two have grown a bond after Robbie Dan left that note following their fight. Texting and calling each other; closest friends despite the fact they live in different states currently.
"So, what's up with you?"
"I have some news."
"They found your biological parents, the grumpy old trolls?" Linka snickers.
"Watch it, Lame-O! Anyway, guess who's coming back to Royal Woods for the weekend?"
"What, you?!"
"Yes, me!"
"Couldn't be!"
"Then, who?" They both laugh at that exchange in dialogue. "But for real. Bebe, my dad and myself are coming back."
"Robbie Dan, that's awesome! Loki's gonna lose his shit when he hears Bebe's coming back."
Down the hall, a shrill yell is heard from the oldest Louds' bedroom. "Babe, that's literally the best news ever!"
"Sounds like he already knows." Robbie Dan chuckles.
"We got a lot of catching up to do, though! When you come, let's hang out all day together! There are some new restaurants I would love for you to try, maybe go to the arcade, maybe there's-"
"Linka, are you basically asking me out on a date?" He asks in a teasing voice.
"What?! I-"
"My God, this is so sudden. Our first real date together, alone. What a tale to tell our children." He bursts out laughing. Linka is as red as a tomato.
"Shut up!"
Robbie Dan takes a few deep breaths then says "But yeah, let's go out when I come back. Saturday good?" Linka nods.
"Perfect. Smell you later, Lame-O!"
"Not if I smell you first!" She ends the video call. She contemplates. "Did I really just ask Robbie Dan out?"
"Did Linka really just ask me out?" Robbie Dan asks in his room alone.
Bebe knocks and lets herself in. "So, what did Linka say to you?"
"I'm still unsure about it but… Linka ask me out on a date when I come back."
Bebe sequels and hugs her little brother. "Don't second guess it, bro! We all know that she liiiiiikes you!"
Robbie Dan shoves her off. "Shut up, Bebe!"
"Hey, little homie, don't get so upset. She likes you, you like her, nothing can go wrong! Maybe Carlo (genderbent Carlota) will lend you some clothes!"
Robbie Dan slaps his forehead at his sister's meddling.
At dinner time in the Loud house, Loki tells everyone at the grown-up table about Bebe's visit. "That's wonderful news, sweetheart." Rita says.
"Yeah! Like, send our love to our future sister-in-law!" Loni says. He didn't mean as a teasing phrase but the other three brothers laugh. Loki waves them off, too thrilled about his girlfriend's visit.
"So, I guess that means Robbie Dan is coming too. Are you excited, hon?" Rita asks her only daughter.
"Oh yeah, I asked him to go out with me when he comes back." Linka answers.
"Like a date?!" Loki exclaims. His brothers spit out their drinks onto their food and exclaim in anger against the idea.
"It's nothing romantic or anything! I haven't seen him in forever. It's more of a "catch up thing". She did the air quote thing with her fingers.
"I don't care what you want to call it! My little sister is too young to be seeing boys!" Lynn screams.
"Especially that rude, gross, and annoying kid, Robbie Dan!" Luke adds. After Luke said that, the five younger Louds enter the dining room.
"Linka and Robbie Dan?" Lexx accuses.
"Oh, heck no!" Leif screams.
"Guys, get off my freaking back! You always do this, overreact to every little thing I want to do. I'm a young woman, I don't need anyone's protection!" The Loud siblings all break out in arguments.
"That is enough!" Lynn Sr. demands to cease the calamity. "Now, I'm not crazy about the idea of Linka on a date but I do respect her privacy. And believe me when I say this, nothing matters to a woman more than her privacy." Linka and Rita both nod at that statement. "I don't want any of you boys to bother Linka about this anymore. Am I clear?"
"Crystal." The boys say together.
"Good. You're all excused."
Loki summoned an all-brother meeting in the garage; too risky to do it in his own room. Once Luke, the last brother to arrive, uses the remote to close the garage door, Loki pounds his sneaker against the table of power tools. "Thanks for coming on such short notice, men. I think we all know why we're here."
"Yeah, the "date" situation!" Lars answers.
"And this is Robbie Dan we're talking about! That kid used to bully Linka!" Luke adds.
"I will not stand for this blasphemy!" Levi shouts.
"Then pull up a chair!" Lane laughs at his joke. "Get it? But seriously, I'm pissed off."
"We all are. So what are we going to do about it?" Lexx asks.
"We do it the old-fashioned way: we follow Linka and Robbie Dan around and put an end to it!" Loki answers.
"Oh sure, Loki. Linka's not going to notice her ten brothers following her around!" Lynn accuses.
"Not if we're careful. Hell, I'll even convince Bebe on going on a double date. We did it once before. You guys will be there in the background, striking when the moment's right."
"Alright, large and in charge, let's do this!" Lane shouts. The brothers scream in agreement and high five each other.
"And remember, this is all to protect Linka from a greedy boy's hands." Leif adds.
"Yeah, screw boys! They're selfish, stupid good-for-nothings!" Loni exclaims. His brothers look at him like he had grown a second head. Leon even facepalms himself.
"We're moving past that." Loki announces.
Saturday morning came; the Santiagos arrived late Friday night. The doorbell on the Loud house door rings.
"I'll get it!" Linka yells out. She's wearing a long white skirt, her usual blouse, and orange flats. She has on pink nail polish and her hair has been straightened with a flat iron. Her appearance is all done by her mom.
On the other side of the door are the Santiago siblings. Bebe in her regular clothes. Same old green plaid flannel over a white blouse. Blue jeans that exposed her ankles and brown ballet flats. And finally, white earrings and a green hairband to pull her look all together. But Robbie Dan is in a purple v neck t-shirt, a black jacket, jeans and purple Nike shoes.
The kids look at each other up and down and say at the same time, "Wow, you didn't pick out those clothes, did you? My mom/my cousin did." They laugh and perform a handshake they created together.
"Good to have you back, R.D."
"Good to be back, Link."
Linka then hugs Bebe. "I missed you!"
"Missed you too, Little Loud." She says, hugging back. Loki descends the stairs. Both teens laugh happily and run towards each other. They embrace each other in a short make-out session.
"I can't remember the last time I physically held you, babe!"
"I know, Loki Bear! It's been ages!" Behind them, their younger siblings feign puking out their breakfast.
"Well, while you two enjoy each other. Robbie Dan and I are going out."
"Wait, didn't Loki tell you?" Robbie Dan asks.
"What?"
"It's a double date, little sister. Like that one time." Loki answers. "Hell, Babe and I will even pay for your meals."
"Come on Linka, it'll be fun!" Bebe adds.
Robbie Dan put his hand on Linka's shoulder. "Plus, they'll be so distracted by each other, that they won't bother us." He whispers to her.
"Alright. Let's do it." Linka finally says. Loki grabs the keys to Vanzilla and leads everyone out. Linka shoots her older brother a warning glare before they get in the van.
Later, the two pairs of siblings stood in front of a Moroccan-Japanese fusion restaurant. On a side note, what's with Royal Woods' obsession with fusion restaurants? If someone can explain, please do. Cause the author sure as hell can't!
Once inside, they all were greeted by two men. One wearing a Djellaba and the other a Kimono. But surprise surprise, its two of the Loud brothers: Lynn and Lane.
"Ssalamū 'lekum and Konichiwa. Welcome to Fuyumi Chagou's Moroccan-Japanese restaurant!" Lane says.
"We hope everything is to your liking today." Lynn adds.
Linka's eyes widen in shock. "What are you-" she was cut off by Loki, who slaps his hand over his mouth.
"Don't mind her, gentlemen. Thank you." Loki says politely as if this is his first time meeting the two. Lynn and Lane bow respectfully and open the doors to the dining room for them. Robbie Dan is the last one to enter because Lynn trips him on the way in.
"My apologies, dude." Lynn says, hiding a smirk. Lane chuckles at him as well.
They find a table and Linka whispers to her brother. "Why are Lynn and Lane here?"
"I think I would know if my own brothers were here, Linka." Loki answers, not looking up from his menu. Linka growls frustrated.
"So Robbie, you never mentioned what the school is like over there." Linka turns her attention to him.
"It's about as ghetto as you can imagine." He casually leans in and rests a hand on her shoulder. "In fact, there was this one time…" Loki finds and makes eye contact with Leif in his hiding place. He does a quick finger gun pointing toward Robbie Dan's mouth. Leif uses his slingshot to fling a green substance into his open mouth. Robbie Dan's hands fly to his throat as he chokes on the burning substance.
"Bro!" Bebe dashes behind her little brother and performs the Heimlich maneuver. He spits it out right onto the floor. Bebe pours him a glass of water and he gulps it down.
"What the hell was that?!" He yells once he catches his breath.
Linka looks closer at the green stuff. "Wasabi?"
"Yeah, I remember my first time trying that." Loki says.
The four received their food and things seem normal. Bebe and Loki were practically eating from each other's hands.
"Man, this food's excellent! What's it called again?" Linka asks.
"Kefta Tagine-Soba. Something between Kefta Tagine and Tenzaru Soba." Robbie Dan answers. "But sis, come on, we're in public. Use some silverware."
"You're just jealous!"
"Of what?!" The Louds laugh at them. Some music both kids are familiar with plays from the restaurant's ceiling speakers.
"Aw yeah! Come on, Linka!"
Robbie Dan takes her to the center of the dining room. They actually were comfortable dancing together even though there were in a public place. Some people coo at the young couple. Luke sneaks into the back room and finds the main radio. He switches to something else but it's another song that the kids know. They don't mind one bit and keep dancing. Luke changes it again and it's the same techno and pop crap kids love to listen to. This happens several times.
"What the-?! Aw, screw it!" He rips out the radio from its outlet and smashes it onto the ground.
"What the hell? Someone should look into that." Robbie Dan says as he and Linka walk back to their seats. Before Robbie Dan got back to his seat, a waiter (Loni) "accidentally" spills a cup of water on his head and he keeps walking.
"Oh my god! Are you alright?" Linka asks, sneaking a glare at Loni.
"Yeah. Hey mister! The least you can do is give me a towel!" Robbie Dan sneers. Loni comes back with a towel. A hot towel.
"Sorry, here you go!" He throws it in the young boy's face and scurries off.
"Holy shit! Why do you even have this?!" Robbie Dan rips off of his face and hisses at the pain. "I'm done here. Can we go?"
"Yeah, service here is messed up! Where do we go next?" Bebe asks, taking out her wallet.
"I heard the fair is opened today." Linka says.
"Sweet! Let's go." Loki says. Linka grabs her brother's arm.
"But first, can I talk to you for a minute?" Loki gulps but obliges. They go to the waiting room area.
"You need to stop right now." Linka bluntly says.
"Whatever do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb! The tripping, the wasabi, the music, the water and the hot towel! I know that's you and the other guys' doing! Where are they, anyway?"
"You called?" Loki and Linka both jump at Lars' voice. The other eight are right behind him.
"Crap, she knows." Loni says.
"All of you need to calm your tits and give me my space! It's just Robbie Dan and he's a chilled guy."
"Well, we don't trust him." Lexx says.
"Yeah!" The other guys agree.
Linka pinches the bridge of her nose and inhales sharply. "Please stop before you completely ruin this day. I mean it!" She turns back to Loki. "Let's go back to them." Loki and Linka walk back to their table.
The rest of the boys look defeated then Luke's phone chimes. "It's a text from Loki. It's not over yet. We're meeting at the fair." He reads. The brothers give each other a knowing look and nod.
At the fair, Linka and Robbie Dan spilt up with Loki and Bebe to go on the roller coaster. At the same time, Lexx and Levi were at the main control of the said roller coaster where the guy who is supposed to control it was knocked out. Not that they knocked him out, he's catching a few Zs.
Levi smiles evilly. "How fast do you want it to go?"
"Enough for him to blow chunks!" The little prince answers, wickedly. Levi nods and turns the speed dial from 2 to 6; dangerous and guaranteed barf-worthy. The boys scattered off and the ride starts. The passengers were legitimately scared for their lives. Robbie Dan looked green in the face and Linka shallowed her food down twice.
When it ends, Robbie Dan and Linka wobbly walk away. "That. Was. Insane!" Linka says in horror. "But hey, I would do that again! What do you think, R.D?" He responds with barfing in front of her shoes. Linka jumps away from the puke. "Ahh, sick dude!"
From behind a tent, Lexx and Levi fist bump each other.
"Sorry I almost puked on you."
"It's cool, dude. What we need is a change in scenery." Linka points to the haunted house. "Let's go over there!"
"Really? It's not too creepy for you, little girl?" Robbie Dan smirk.
"Lars Loud is my brother. Come on!" Linka takes his hand and pulls him toward the haunted house. They take their seats in the coffin-shaped cart and the ride begins. Above them, Lars is hanging upside down from the ceiling railings along with three of his bats from his bat colony.
"Everyone, attack at my command." He tells his pets. He points at Robbie Dan and screams "Now!" All three bats come flying down and attack the boy. Freaking out Linka and the other passengers as well. The ride had to stop abruptly and Robbie Dan ran through the building with the bats chasing him.
"Haha, wicked." Lars says from his hiding place.
Thankfully, the bats stopped chasing once he was outside. Linka catches up to him. "Robbie Dan! Are you ok?!"
"Do I look ok?! I was chased by actual bats! What's up with today?!" Linka takes his face in her hands and checks his neck for bites.
"Well, not one of them bit you so that's something good."
"Get off me!" Robbie Dan pushes her hands away.
"You gotta admit, that was pretty cool."
"Whatever. Let's check out the games." They stroll over to the fair games section and stop at the "test your strength" game.
"Step right up, boys and girls! Think you're strong enough? Ring the bell and win a prize!" Says the man behind the booth (Lane).
"Man, I would love to win that Orca." Robbie Dan points at the stuffed animal.
"Then by all means, show me what I'm working with." Linka put a $5 bill on the table.
"They didn't call me "the toughest" at Royal Woods Elementary for nothing!" He picks up the hammer and slams it down on the cushion at the bottom. He makes the bell ring on his first try.
"A winner!" Lane shouts and gives Robbie Dan his Orca.
"Great job, R.D."
"It was-" The toy explodes with no warning and pepper dust emerges. It gets into Robbie Dan's eyes and both kids sneeze constantly.
"It's in my achoo! eyes! I can't achoo! see! What the hell?!"
"I'll lead you to achoo! the bathroom!" Linka takes Robbie Dan by the hand again and leads him to the restrooms. Lane burst in laughter once they were out of earshot. Once Robbie closes the door behind him, Loki and Bebe come up to her. Bebe is holding her boyfriend's hand with her left and carrying a giant stuffed bear with her right arm.
"Hey, little sister. How's it going?" Loki says.
"Well, let's see. Robbie Dan puked, was chased by bats and his stuffed animal exploded pepper into his eyes. So yeah, it's going peachy!" Linka answers, sarcastically.
"Kid can't catch a break today! Sounds like a nasty string of bad luck." Bebe says.
"You can say that. But it's too coincidental to be bad luck. I mean, an exploding pepper stuffed animal? Doesn't that sound like one of Lane's original pranks?" Loki sweats nervously.
"Deny everything, Loki!" Loni's voice rings out from his hiding place.
"Damn you, Loni!" Lexx scolds.
Loki exhales as a sign of defeat. "Jig is up, guys! No use pretending anymore!" He calls out. From said hiding space, Lexx, Loni, Levi, Leon came out. Leif comes out the trash can he's been hiding in. Lane and Luke walk toward the scene, dressed as people who work at the fair. Finally, Lars and Lynn catch up. Lars has his bats on his shoulders and is holding an umbrella over them.
"Aw man! I didn't even get the chance to put hot sauce in his slushie!" Lynn complains.
"I told you guys to stop messing with Robbie Dan!" Linka says, furiously.
"What?!" Bebe and, coming out from the bathroom the moment Linka said that, Robbie Dan.
"So, everything that happened to me today, that was you guys?!"
"¿Qué putas?! Why would you torture my little brother like that?!"
"Cause Linka's too young to be going on dates and seeing boys! She's only eleven!" Loki clarifies.
"We're her brothers! We're not supposed to like the idea of Linka with boys. Besides, This isn't the first time we've acted protective." Lars says.
"So, that gives you the damn excuse to pull that bullshit on me!" Robbie Dan yells at them.
"Who are you yelling at?!" Leif yells back.
"I'll put you in a stranglehold!" Luke threatens and cracks his knuckles.
"Oh my god, enough!" Bebe screams.
"Honestly, you guys are being irrational." Linka begins. "You know, I appreciate you guys looking out for me but sometimes I just need my own space. How am I supposed to grow up and be independent if you guys keep treating me like I can't protect myself? I know Robbie Dan and he's a good kid."
"And, in all honesty, I understand where you guys are coming from," Bebe speaks up. "Trust me, no matter what, Robbie Dan is still my little brother and I'm not too thrilled about him growing up so fast. However, my brother's a kind, responsible kid. He's the last person to hurt someone he cares about." She points to Linka. She blushes and Robbie Dan looks down in embarrassment.
"Damn sis, why don't you write a book about it?"
"Well put, Bebe. Do you guys understand?" Linka asks.
The brothers all share a glance. "Yup. We're sorry, Linka." Loki says. The brothers say words of apology.
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to him."
Robbie Dan taps his chin in thought. "Well, you guys aren't off the hook just yet. But I know one way for you guys to earn my forgiveness."
The five oldest Loud brothers are in individual tanks of the game where you throw a ball at the target, the trapdoor under the person opens and they go underwater. Robbie Dan throws one at Luke's target and he sinks.
"Bullseye! You're next, Lane!" The same thing happens to the comedian.
"I guess you can say I'm back and wetter than ever!" He laughs. "Get it? But seriously, this is embarrassing." He says as he swims up and back into place.
On the right of the dunk tank, the younger Loud brothers, minus Leon, are in a head hole mural with targets around their heads. They're having water balloons thrown at their faces. Bebe, with one arm holding Leon, throws a ballon at Levi.
"Awesome!" Bebe cheers. Leon laughs alongside her.
"This is highly incommodious." Levi complains.
"This is a much better punishment than snitching to Dad!" Linka laughs happily. She throws a ball at Loni's tank and a balloon at Leif.
A couple stops walking to stare at the watery torture the boys are going through. "That looks fun, can I have a turn?" The girl asks.
"Uhhh, sure." Robbie Dan hands the ball to her.
"What?! That wasn't part of the deal, Rob- AHHH!" Lynn screams as he gets dunk.
"I want to play the water balloon thing!" The random guy says. He picks up a water balloon and throws it at Lexx.
"Ughhhh! Why the hair?!" He cries.
Soon, more and more people were coming over to dunk or splash a Loud brother for free.
"Isn't this a little overboard?" Linka asks Robbie Dan.
"No. If I was charging them, it would be overboard. This is all part of my satisfaction."
Linka rock back and forth on her heels. "Soooo, besides from all my brothers' bull crap, did you have fun today?"
"To be honest, I'm glad we got to hang out together. You make me feel right at home in Royal Woods. Ugh barf, I sounded so cheesy!" He rolls his eyes.
Linka blushes and laughs. "That is so cheesy but you know I'm all about that."
"We should do this again sometime, Lame-O."
"What? Just the two of us?"
"Nooo, with my extended family! Yes, only me and you!"
Linka grabs his hand and gently squeeze it. Robbie Dan looks the other way so she wouldn't see him blushing.
"Yeah, I'd like that."