This chapter is dedicated to all those who actually waited for me to get my lazy ass to finally write this. To all my fans, I'm amazed you exist (XD). Enjoy this chapter.

Index:
Nande What?
Gomen Sorry
Daijouu It's all right. It's okay. I'm all right. etc

Chapter Five

" How is she doing?" She wondered looking out of the window from her spot at the sill dressed in a pair of beige slacks and a white button up shirt. Her eyes that were the color of the sky on a clear day darkened with worry.

" She should be fine." Her partner in a simple blue knee-length skirt and long sleeved shirt smiled at her from the piano seat, " She's strong. Believe in her Haruka."

She sighed, " I do Michiru." With one more look out the window at the Colonial weather she pushed herself away, " I just can't help worrying. Sometimes Quatre and Selenity aren't the best of combinations."

The famous violinist gentled her smile as she played a scale on the ivory keys, " I'm sure they always find a solution."

Haruka raised her thumb up to her lips, bit the nail and murmured, " It's the solution that worries me."

Michiru blinked, " Nande?"

Haruka jerked her hand in the air as if to wave it off, " It's nothing. Did you meet any of my sisters last night? How did you find them?"

The aqua haired beauty knew when a change of subject was occurring but decided to let it go this time. " We met a few, they were quite taken with us in fact." She chuckled a bit in remembrance, " They liked Hotaru quite a lot, and they gave her the whole plate of deserts."

Haruka laughed, " Sounds like them to me."

" Yes, don't they?" She replied and got up from the stool, " They were everything you ever said they were." She turned her head halfway around to look at the Winner sister out of the corner of her eye, " So why do I get the sense you are worrying?"

The blond shook her head " It's probably nothing. You know how I get over Usagi."

Michiru giggled, " Indeed I do, " She opened the cupboard and took out a violin as well as a bow, " when it comes to her, you're a worrywart. Kind of like a paranoid mother hen don't you agree?"

" M-m-mother-r" she sputtered.

" Mother hen." The aqua beauty repeated.

" Paranoid?" Haruka asked.

Michiru nodded, " Very." She let her sentence drift off as she pulled the bow across the strings of the instrument in her hands, tucked under her chin and let the peaceful sounds fill the air for a while before she continued, " You didn't sit with us."

" Ah, gomen." she apologized, " Quatre got quite carried away in his joy and there was no saying no to him."

" Just admit that you didn't want to leave Usagi to face him alone."

" Ah fine, I admit it. You see right through me Michiru," the blonde put on her best puppy face, " there's never hiding anything from you."

The violinist laughed, " Like I said, a mother hen."

" Michiru!"

She laughed and let her partner silently fume while she played all her emotions out onto the string instrument.

. : - : .

She ran in a way that would leave her heaving, gasping, and in pain. Her shirt whipped around in the air as she turned corners and her legs pumped under her to cover the distance she so needed to put between her and her brother. She needed to get away from him, from the hurt, from all the emotions bottled inside for so long, from all the pain, joy, misery and bittersweet love that weren't hers. She needed to know just her.

God, she needed to know who she was. She was losing herself in the tidal of feelings that rocked her from the inside out. This hadn't happened to her since the last time she had used the Ginzuishou, when she had let her consciousness unite with her fellow scouts against the enemy. It had been so long since this had happened; she had thought she forgot what this felt like - almost.

She had been running for how long now, a minute, hour - many hours? She couldn't keep her mind clear of the haze long enough to think. The only thought in her mind was that she needed to run, run, run and that she was almost there.

She didn't ask herself almost where. It didn't matter where she was, as long as she was getting there.

She pushed open the door with such force it slammed against the wall and bounced off with a loud, sharp sound she couldn't hear. Her heart pounded noisily in her ears enough to make her deaf to all other sounds then those made by her body as she ran up the stairs, ignoring the elevator totally. The steps seemed to all meld into each other in one continuous red as she flew up and over them. She didn't notice any other people in the staircase of her many flights up to the top. The roof door never stood a chance as she stopped and lifted her leg up and kicked it open.

She stood grasping the railing tightly with cold bloodless hands and leaned heavily forward gasping for air. The afternoon city of Colony L1 glittered at her with its brilliance. The sun was positioned directly above the government building and white bits of fluffy clouds painted the sky here and there. The birds on the rooftops of the city took flight as a truck horn blew from somewhere on the streets below.

She did not know how long she stayed like this, she did not count how many times the streetlights changed and she did not watch how far the sun sank down since she got up here. She shut her mind off as a safety mechanism and slowly slid to the ground in an exhausted heap. She watched the tiny specks of people live their day through the metal bars. Some time - perhaps it was sooner than later - she got her energy back and tiredly pushed herself up onto her weak legs.

Her knees trembled and she bit her bottom lip. A hand reached out from behind her and before it ever made contact, she spun around and threw herself at him. She grasped the green material tightly in her small hands and bit his shoulder. She was frustrated to see it did not draw blood.

Arms came around to hold her and soothed up and down her back in comfort. " You went to him."

She amazed herself by choking back another sob; she had thought she ran out of tears already. " Yes." Her voice wavered and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. " Why doesn't it ever change?"

The arms tightened around her and pressed her closer to him. " Pain never changes. You just get used to it."

Her whole body shook in denial, " I'm not used to it." She said throatily, " I don't want to get used to it."

" You don't have to be, Usagi."

" You shouldn't be either, Hiiro."

They were silent, as they both knew there were a lot of should and shouldn't haves that were never going to change.

" Daijoubu." He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince of that, but he liked to think it was her.

. : - : .

Duo plopped down in his couch, body sleek and shining with sweat from his morning routine. He took slow, even breaths as he looked up to the ceiling of the apartment he and Hilde shared. The silence that greeted him made him sigh and remember the petite blue pixie of a girl that was his housemate had gone out to grab a drink with the girls. It seemed she had been going out more often, not a lot but enough so that he felt it. Coming back to an empty house was still weird for him but it was not surprisingly new.

He smiled a little at the thought. A house. Not an apartment. He had to negotiate with Hilde for a long time before she had agreed. A house of their own, a place to live in of their own choosing. There had been a long process, both of them with separate ideas of what their house should be like, and he had loved every minute of it.

He pushed himself up from the sofa and stepped over a box on his way to the bedroom. It had been a month they had moved in, but they had yet to finish unpacking. Hilde and him had been both packrats when moving; they did not want to forget anything from their old apartment. Although they had been so hasty to pack, they were not in as much of a hurry to unpack. Somehow, the habit from the wars to have things prepared for a sudden move had not left them. So a month into moving and they had yet to finish taking stuff out of boxes. Not that he was complaining though as he pushed the bedroom door open.

A month and he and Hilde still slept in the same bed. The other bedroom was stuffed up with boxes so they obviously couldn't use it, and so they had ended up sharing the same bed. It was so cute of Hilde being an adult and still have childish pajamas. The first time he had seen them he could not stop the wide grin from almost cracking his face, while she pouted at him for being mean.

It's been a month and they still lived in the same room, Duo was amazed to muse. Picking up a photo on the night desk next to the bed, he smiled because this was not one of his picture but of hers. He placed it gently down, and wondered if that when they finally cleared out the other room, would she still be sleeping in the same bed as him. He wasn't exactly scared, but more unsure of if he wanted to tell Hilde that now he had become accustomed to her being in his bed, being held in his arms gently each night, if he could ever go back. He wasn't trying to ask her for anything more, just to be there when he woke up in the middle of the night from dreams and nightmares he could not remember. It was just so comforting that while he lost a great deal in the war, he had been able to hang onto something.

Hiiro's return had sparked something in him, like a sign being waved in front of his face. He was not sure what he had expected of the Wing pilot, but surely something else then what he got. Some change, less detached, a little bit less pain in his eyes - anything to prove he had tried to move on like the rest of them. It was a time of peace now; he should not be fighting a war he couldn't win anymore.

When he had gone missing at the end of the Mariemeia War, everyone had been worried. They had searched all over the colonies for him, and clean swiped every Earth record they could find. But it had been to no avail. They had waited for some sign from him, a letter, a glimpse, some sort of signal he was going to come back. When they waited and received none, they had slowly started to accept he was not coming back.

At least he had thought they did. Now he knew they had only been deceiving themselves, saying they had accepted it while in their hearts they had screamed in objection - believed he would show up one of these days. And he did. Yesterday. At the Winner dinner.

Duo went to take a shower in the connecting room, and walked back into the room as naked as they day he was born while trifling in the drawers for some pajamas. As soon as he found some passable ones he threw himself onto the bed. He didn't bother get under the covers. He just laid there on the bed and put the back for his hands to his eyes in the dark room, deciding to take a small nap while he waited for Hilde to get home.

. : - : .

Hilde was having a hell of a day, not yet late afternoon and she was already out at a bar with her friends. It was not such a big deal, especially since she was doing this as a favor for one of her friends, but she really had hoped to get back home before it was too late to cook dinner and she would have to suffer for Duo's choice of take out. She sighed and took a sip of the peach colada she had ordered.

" I still can't quite believe he returned." Sally said across from the table.

" Me neither." Catherine agreed.

Hilde said nothing and looked out of the corner of her eye at the one they had come to the bar for. The girl had been quite quiet on the way to the place, not making much noise when they dragged her away from her work, and hadn't said a thing yet since she had ordered her drink. She felt a pang of sympathy for the pacifist princess who seemed so far off from the smoky interior of the pub.

The girl bobbed her head in accord with the other two and for the first time in 15 minutes, spoke. " The question is how long he's staying. If he's going to stay."

She found herself silently agreeing. Yeah, that was Hiiro. Never staying in one place too long. Never forming any attachments.

" A few days probably." The voice on her right murmured. She looked towards the golden wheat haired blonde, whom they had found checked in a hotel they were passing on the drive there. She had been just inside the glass doors, seemingly talking with one of the hotel managers about closing off the roof for a while.

Dorothy Catalonia always got what she wanted, but Catherine Bloom and Sally Po had a stubborn streak a mile long. When they had set her eyes on the girl and decided she needed a drink as well, they hadn't been much Dorothy could have said to get out of it. Apparently this was the second outing of the day for the girl, so Hilde could not fault the tired eyes she had.

" Yeah," Sally said looking off to the side, " most of us are only staying for a few days. We've still got work to do."

" He changed a bit." Catherine mused. " Hiiro I mean." Like she could have been speaking about anyone else.

That had Relena give her the skeptical eyebrow from the side. Hilde hid her smile behind the pretense of taking another sip of her drink.

" He changed a lot." Dorothy voiced softly.

That made Relena looked at the lighter blonde. " What do you mean?"

Although Relena was confused, Hilde found herself in accord with the other girls. Something had changed in Hiiro Yui. On the outside everything was the same, but on the inside something was different. Something that could not be seen by them, only felt. It was a small thing, like how wars living violently in a soldier, to a soldier living violently in the time of peace. She watched Dorothy shrug and sulked into her seat. She sighed again, she had a feeling tonight's menu would be Chinese food. It was a shift that only those that had been soldiers or had fought could detect; she could not fault Relena - a pacifist to not be able to understand so easily.

. : - : .

Quatre opened the door to the mansion, nodded at the maids getting changed and just starting their shifts. His mind was preoccupied, and often like when it was, he moved towards the music room. He moved inside the room and made sure he locked the door. He needed some peace - thinking time to sort out everything in his head. The piano lay untouched and the other various instruments were left unbothered as well as he made his way to the windowsill. He sat on the wide ledge and propped his legs up onto the sill.

He gazed out the window with his chin in one of his palms and let his mind drift. He felt like sighing when his thoughts came to the topic of his sister, Selenity. There had been so much he had wanted to tell her, so much he had wanted to share, and he had wanted so much for her to share her life with him. She had been gone for a good amount of years and although he had recognized her he had felt she wasn't the same person he used to know. Given, it had been years and she had grown up, but still it left a pang in his heart to think that his once closest sister was a stranger to him again.

Because of the war. Because he had been a gundam pilot. Because he had changed and killed people and wasn't the same person who she had known before either.

He put his face down in his hands and wanted to cry. He wished so much that he could turn back time, so that everything was that same again, so that he could change his decisions, so that his father and Iris was still alive and not dead because of him.

That was another thing, he was not sure if Selenity knew about their deaths. She had not attended their funeral, since they could not find her still at that time, and he didn't know how he would tell her if she didn't know. Father had always loved all his children, trying his best not to make anyone feel excluded or was being treated unfairly for any reason - he had been a good father and in return all of his children loved him back. Quatre wasn't sure how he would handle Selenity's breakdown if she had one.

Especially, he thought, since she was extremely delicate right now. At that thought his heart felt heavier, yet lighter than he had felt for a long time. There was guilt, guilt for what he had always required of her as the only other strong Winner empath. To have her block out her existence from his powers so he could unload, all those feelings and pent up frustrations from the people he had touched since the last time he had seen her.

He knew it probably hurt her, since she wasn't as powerful as an empath as he was, and her shields were probably not strong enough to withhold the whole rush of emotions without a backlash. But he couldn't stop it - he needed her to be there for him. It felt so aggravating living with pent up emotions that couldn't go anywhere, because to unload it near anyone without proper shielding could kill them, and to unload it when there was nobody around would only draw the emotions back to him.

Selenity had always had a way to deal with it, he had never known how though, just that either she was stronger than him to be able to endure it all or she found a way to dispel the emotions he couldn't. He was always tempted to ask, but also tempted to stay silent. He had always chosen the second option, because he couldn't stand the thought that Selenity would leave him if she thought she wasn't needed anymore, because the company of another empath was rare and a hard thing to find. He felt less lonely, less different and less inhumane when he was around Selenity. He needed her because she made him feel like he had a right to exist like he did, being able to feel another's emotions and invade their privacy unintentionally.

Thus the guilt, but along side with the guilt he was a bit ashamed at the joy that accompanied it with the thought his sister was home again. Back where she belonged. Back where he needed her. She had been gone for so long, and it had hurt to be so careful around everybody for everyday of his life onward. It felt like he was being a hypocrite, he gave them unconditional trust until they proved they were unworthy of it, but he could not let himself open to them in fear that it would hurt those he cared about. He was always on guard, aware and alert for signs of his control of his power was flexing and if he needed to shield that part of him away even farther from the people he was with. It had felt so lonely; having to keep every emotion in and everyday had been exhausting. No one had a proper shield around him, so it had been up to him to make sure his power was tied up nice and tight.

That thought made him pause though, because now he had one person he knew that has a proper shield except for Selenity. The one he saw in the park today, the girl who had once stabbed his thigh and pierced his heart with her hurts; Dorothy Catalonia. She had looked so beautiful and lonely when he saw her on his stroll, staring up at the birds and the gaze in her eyes drawing him closer. There had been something in the way she looked up at the winged mammals that had to have him understand.

She had looked so normal in her clothes, the first time he ever saw her with jeans and sport shoes. The tank top and windbreaker had blended nicely to the autumn colors and the whole ensemble had screamed regular teenage girl. Had screamed she had been able to move on after the war. Had screamed that she had succeeded where he and his friends had failed. She was living a normal life, being a normal teenager now ... no she was a normal teenager now. Everything had reinforced that thought, slamming into his head like a punch in the gut.

Except for the look in her eyes. Her eyes spoke of maturity and experience no normal teenager would have. And she had looked so heartbreaking staring up at the birds, longing, and lonely. It was the last that had moved him towards her and comment on the things that seemed to have reminded her of something of relevance.

Her surprise at his arrival as expected, and her rush of emotions that invaded his heart as their conversation progressed was nothing new, every time he talked to someone; he took their emotions into himself. But when she blocked off most of her emotions from him and managed to rein in her control so he couldn't feel a lot, that was a pleasant surprise but when he felt shields going up, carefully and slow, but also confidently, he had been shocked.

His heart had jumped. He had extended his power to test if what he was feeling was true, and it was. Smooth and silky shields being miraculously constructed in front of him. How she went about the process smoothly said this was something she could do at anytime, it was a skill she had acquired.

He had been shocked, surprised, excited, and hope had rose in him like it did when a child was to receive it's wish on Christmas Day underneath all that wrapping. And that was what he did, he tore away the wrapping, wishing to know if what was inside was as magnificent as he had hoped and imagined. He wasn't sure if it would have fit his expectations since he had had no precious hopes and had never imagined it possible. It was like a star had been offered to him from the very Heavens.

He felt like a beggar that had just been handed a silver platter.

He had tried to read her once the shielding fell away, but she had ran away so soon after that he did not have a chance but graze the top. Her heart had been a tumble of emotions, rolling around in a bundle and swirling like colors did when poured into whirlpools.

He touched his chest with one hand, at his heart. He looked into himself at the small swirl of emotions he had gotten from her and held it tight in his grip. He couldn't organize her feelings for her, but he wanted more than this small touch. He needed more. He needed to understand this miracle, and the reasons of how and why was it given to him. But also this was his miracle.

Dorothy, he thought, is my miracle. I'm not going to let you go Ms. Catalonia. You're my miracle. Mine.

. : - : .

Trowa was sitting at his desk inside his office at Preventor Headquarters. The keyboard made soft clicking sounds as his fingers pushed down on the keys, and his eyes stared at the screen unfazed. Page after page of information and script came up on his command, and when met with barriers, he simply overrode them with a few small words that consisted of a Preventor name and pass. Every barrier fell in front of him, and he continued on unstopped.

He was intelligence gathering; being in peacetime didn't mean that it was going to last without effort to make it stay that way. Companies were checked up on, mecha production warehouses were surveyed with care and abandoned places were looked into. Overlooking a small thing now could mean a war for tomorrow.

Or that's what he told himself as he browsed through files after files of categorizations and profiles. He was looking after the peace, as was his job, as a Preventor - a part-time Preventor, but still a high level will not be challenged and valuable Preventor. The ex-gundam pilots were all given high stations, because anything less would only be putting their skills to waste. Lady Une knew how to utilize her men and their talents, it was a shame to waste any when they were hard to find.

He was looking through the maintenance of companies, which used to produce war weapons now converting to other means for income. He was looking through the files of the employees and their checkbooks for any large amount of money that gave no explanation or ties to how it was obtained. He was tracking down any rebels that might prove to be dangerous for the future.

There was a reason for what he was doing. There was a logically reasonable motive behind his actions. It was his job, what he was paid to do. And it did not matter that most of the files he was pulling up had profiles of many executive members and employees of companies with blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. Their appearance had nothing to do with the fact of what he was searching for. He did not see any connection with what he was doing, and the faces he was seeing to the ones of his friend's sisters or to the one face that was locked up in his memory.

No, he was not searching for anything except the obvious. He was just doing his job, and after scrolls and scrolls of digital pages of blonde haired and blue-eyed girl popped up, it was his duty to keep going. He was paid to do this, it didn't matter that he was tired, and it was after hours and he was working over time. It was only logical he finished up his loose ends here at the office before going back to the circus. He might have to be here all night but that was worth the price of his sleep.

He was being relied on; it was his duty to check up on the companies san industries. He was not searching for anything in particular, but only what was needed of him. He paid no more attention to any of the lists than another; this was a regular workday for him. His friend would just have to understand he was not going to make it for their ritual of afternoon tea today, his many blonde, blue-eyed sisters could keep him company.

No he was not looking for anything, he did not miss his lunch break, he did not ignore the bell for the end of the day shifts and he was not becoming rapidly tired but still refusing to give up.

" Trowa."

That was not Catherine's voice. He looked up to see Wufei standing next to his desk, holding two steaming cups of sweet smelling coffee.

" You've been at it for a while now." The Chinese boy said, handing him a cup. " Maybe you should take a break."

He accepted the drink gratefully and stood up. The office was empty save for the two of them, everyone else having left at the bell. When he looked out the window, he was surprised at the colors that met his eyes. " Its already dusk."

He could see Wufei nod out of the corner of his eye. " Yeah, we've been here for some time now."

They each took a sip of the gentle soothing liquid. " I didn't notice."

" Neither did I." His friend commented. " What are you doing anyways?"

He shrugged. " My job."

Wufei didn't lift his eyebrow or stare at him, only nodded again. " So was I."

" Another day past."

" And another will come Barton." The name still made him feel something after all this time.

" How long will this peace last us?"

His friend shrugged, " As long as we make it I guess."

" And how long is that?" He questioned.

" As long we want it to."

" And how long will that last?"

They remained silent after that, standing in the room, savoring their drinks as the colony turned away from the sun and slowly light up the top of the dome with a clear view of the stars. Once, they would have not questioned this. They would have not cared, nor have known. Now, the silence spoke of things both left unvoiced.

. : Owari No Shou : .