Chapter 6- Inevitable

Donna genuinely tries to cut Harvey out of her soul, knowing she needs to move on and put the idea of more with him behind her. A conversation with her mother gives Donna some insight into how she might accomplish this. Her mother says that when she cancelled their trip to Paris in order to use the money she'd saved to help Donna's father with a business venture, it showed she had faith in him. This show of faith was critical to the survival of their relationship because her lack of it would have eaten away at him and ultimately, destroyed them. Donna unconsciously realizes that her only hope of cutting Harvey out of her soul is to break faith with him and she can do that by telling Thomas about his deal falling apart. By not giving Harvey a chance to do what he does and fix the situation, Donna would be making a powerful statement- she didn't believe in him or in them anymore.

The problem was that as Donna was desperately trying to move on, Harvey was getting to a place where he might be able to admit how he really felt for her. Seeing she was moving on with her life and dating Thomas, the door that had been opened with her kiss was slowly starting to shut and Harvey was coming to realize he didn't want that. He was able to admit to himself, however quietly, that the jealousy that had always been there whenever she was with someone else was real and it actually meant something. As Donna lost faith in him, he still tried every trick in the book to save Thomas' deal and by extension, save Donna, not caring that he stepped very close to crossing the line by strongly insinuating privileged information to Alex in his attempt. It all falls apart when a press release is issued about the deal going south and Harvey ends up getting fired and sued by his client for breaking privilege.

The next day, having come up with a brilliant solution to get the lawsuit dropped, the relief at protecting the firm from his former client and Hardman is short lived as Robert delivered news of an ethics hearing. Frustration and anger build as Harvey realizes there might be nothing he can do to save himself this time and to top it off, he's probably lost Donna in the process. Harvey's world crumbles and his heart breaks as he throws his empty glass against his office wall in frustration. Watching quietly from the hall, seeing the disturbing affect her actions have taken on Harvey and the dire consequences he is facing for something she's done, is not something Donna can bear to watch. Taking the coward's way out, she retreats to her office without saying a word.

When Donna can't bring herself to attend Harvey's hearing the next day, he is devastated. She's always been there for him when it really mattered, but now, when he needs her presence and support more than ever, she isn't there. As Robert ends up taking the fall for him, relief courses through him and Harvey rushes to phone Donna to tell her the news. For only the second time in her life, Donna doesn't answer a call from him.

Later that evening, the partners gather at the firm. Robert is surprisingly content despite having just been disbarred, but he still refuses an invitation for a burger with Harvey saying he just wants to get home to Laura (and wouldn't mind a gold watch as a retirement present.) Alex echoes the sentiment leaving Harvey alone with his thoughts, so he wanders to Samantha's office to check on her. They start talking about losing their mentors, ironically both being disbarred to save Harvey, but Samantha's words lead him think about a different person. The idea that Donna is everything to him- the one thing that means more to him than anything else in his life- even his work and his firm, takes hold. She is the only person he truly relies on, whom he trusts and loves more than anyone else. She is simply Donna and for Harvey, it has always been her.

Harvey also comes to realize in this moment that he has always meant everything to her as well. He knew Donna loved and trusted him, even when he pushed her away, repeatedly shutting down the idea of more between them. He knows he's been kidding himself about how he actually feels for her and they have both suffered as a consequence. Having convinced himself that Donna really had felt nothing when she kissed him last year, Harvey realizes she lied in an attempt to protect herself. He can grudgingly admit her reaction was completely justified considering his less than ideal response to the feelings the kiss stirred up in him and the arguments that had followed. He recalls the time when Donna accused him of not being able to tell women how he felt about them and he can see Donna has done the same with him- she's shown how she feels but other than the one 'I love you, Harvey' years ago, she's kept her real feelings for him to herself. What a pair they make- both desperately in love but too scared to risk everything and go all in with each other.

Harvey thinks back to two years ago when Donna told him she wanted more and for a second, he wasn't sure what she meant. When she came back and asked for a seat at the table, Harvey pushed aside the idea of more meaning more with him. Harvey now understands she meant both, even if she hadn't been able to articulate it at the time either. He recognizes that every time she's said, "you're an idiot," she's actually been saying, "I love you." After thirteen years, the awareness that Donna loves him just as much and as deeply as he loves her, finally sinks in.

This ultimate realization, the fact that she wasn't at his hearing and that Thomas had said she couldn't be there for him, forces Harvey to recognize that he doesn't just love her. Love can't even begin to describe the feelings coursing through him. Harvey loves her with every fibre of his being, with every breath he takes and into every corner of his soul- exactly how he now knows Donna loves him too. Samantha's words have carefully articulated his muddled thoughts and feelings into clear, coherent consciousness and send Harvey fleeing from the office to 206, unable to spend another second apart from her.

AN-

So, we're almost at the end of 8x16... the next chapters will feature original scenes and... dialogue!

Hope you've enjoyed the story up to this point! Please review and let me know what you think.