Chapter Six
"Oh my God!" Adam nearly choked on his milkshake, "Did this seriously just happen?"
"Yeah, I guess it did," Eli looked just as surprised.
Clare blushed, "I agree with Adam. It's obvious that there's still some tension between us; and I do believe that everyone deserves a second chance – or third chance. So yes, I want to try again Eli. I want to be your girlfriend again."
Eli's eyes were still as wide as saucers as he said, "Wow. Just a few hours ago I had some psycho gothic-obsessed girlfriend. Now, I'm dating Clare Edwards. Sorry, it's just a lot going on in not too much time. It's a bit overwhelming. Just this morning, I wanted to kill you for your book. Promise, no more tell-all books about me, huh Edwards?"
"I promise. And no more vampire smut novels either."
"What do you mean?" Adam protested, "Those are your best-sellers! People line up for weeks to preorder, and there's been talk of movie deals. You can't just stop…"
"I never said I'd stop writing," Clare corrected him, nibbling on a fry, "I just won't write vampire smut anymore. Eli is right – I can do better. It might not be as easy as writing vampire smut, but I'd rather write something with meaning. I stuck with vamp smut because it was easy and people automatically liked it. I need to push myself, step outside of my comfort zone a bit, and really write for once."
"What do you mean really write?"
"Vampire smut was so easy. I could pump out a book in a few months. I want to write a book I have to rip from my very core; I want to struggle. I want my book to be blood, pain, guts, and glory. I want my book to physically and emotionally drain me, and drive me crazy. I want to feel accomplished when I hold that copy in my hands. I want to change someone because of my writing. If I can affect just one person with my writing, that's enough for me."
"I'm so happy for you," Eli reached out and grabbed her hand, "You could do, and will do, so much better than just vampire smut. You'll change lives with your writing, Clare Edwards."
"And you'll be by my side to watch me," Clare smiled up at him, cherishing that moment. It had been far too long since she had felt that kind of support and confidence. Eli nodded, and took a sip of his Coke. Something was churning inside of him, a thought crept into his head that he just couldn't quite silence.
"Okay, enough mushy junk," Adam rolled his eyes, "You two are making me want to barf."
"No, that'd be those chili dogs and milkshakes you had," Eli chuckled, "Seriously, you're like a vacuum."
"I resent that," Adam flagged down a waitress, and ordered a second round of chili dogs and banana milkshakes.
"You do that," Eli said after Adam placed his order, "Mind if I ask Clare to go on a short walk with me?" Finally he had mustered up enough courage to get her alone, and ask her the question that had been playing, over and over in his mind, like a broken record.
"No problem. You two lovebirds get your sexy on!"
Eli's eyes narrowed, "Never. Say. That. Again."
Adam shrugged passively as Eli and Clare stood from the table and headed towards the door. Clare's stomach knotted nervously. She wasn't used to being alone with Eli, and that kind of scared her. Even though she had agreed to give them another chance, she was still unsure. She didn't want to be hurt again, and she didn't want to hurt Eli. It also didn't really help matters that suddenly she felt extremely shy around him.
Eli was just as nervous as well. Being alone with Clare Edwards once again frightened him. Being her boyfriend again frightened him even more. Just moments ago, he had despised her for writing that book. He had wanted to scream at her. He almost even hated her. But Eli knew that hating Clare Edwards was impossible for him. He loved her too much, even after everything.
And now here they were, getting a second chance; and they were alone for the first time as boyfriend/girlfriend. Suddenly, Eli felt transformed back to being seventeen. He felt his palms grow sweaty and his heart speed up as he held the door of The Dot open for her. He couldn't believe what he was about to do; but he just couldn't lose her again. Losing her a third time would destroy him.
"Hey," Clare smiled up at him when they were alone, making the butterflies in the put of his stomach metamorphose into pterodactyls.
"Hey you," Eli ignored the flapping wings in his gut and returned her contagious smile. She was absolutely the most beautiful thing in the world when she smiled, "Walk with me?"
"Sure," Clare walked with him down the pavement, her hand in his.
After a few moments, Eli asked, "What are we doing here, Edwards?"
"I'm not exactly sure," Clare admitted, nervously, "I think we're giving us another chance."
"Can I tell you a secret?" Eli winced, not really meeting her eyes.
"Of course," Clare grabbed her hand in his and gave it a gentle, comforting squeeze, "Anything."
Eli blushed, "I'm scared."
"I thought you wanted this?" Clare's brow creased in confusion.
"And I do, more than anything. I am just scared. I don't want to screw this up, Edwards. Not this time around. I know you and I are meant to be together, but I am scared we will do something to ruin that. We promised we were all in once, and then I ended up screwing that all up. I ruined us. I want to make a promise to you that this time, I am not going to lose you. And I want you to promise me the same."
"Eli…what are you talking about?" Clare asked, feeling suddenly flushed.
"I don't know what the hell I am doing, Clare Edwards, but all I know is that I don't want to lose you again. I want to make you a promise, Clare Edwards, that I am in this for the long run. I want to swear to you on everything, that I will not lose you again."
"Eli..." Clare wasn't exactly following.
"Like I said, I don't know what I am doing. I just know that you…you are the most beautiful thing in the whole world, and that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have thought about you every day, Clare. Every day. I'd see something or hear something, and I'd want to share it with you right away. It killed me to know I couldn't. I'd eat something delicious at a restaurant and think, 'someday, I need to bring Clare here.' Do you know that?"
"Yes," Clare nodded, taking a deep breath before saying, "Because the same thing happened to me. You'd constantly come into my mind. I would get so angry at you for, after all those years, still being my first thought when I woke up, and my last thought before going to bed. I asked Ali about it once, and she told me that if you can't get someone out of your head, maybe that's because they're supposed to be there."
"You were always my everything, Clare Edwards. You were always my best friend, and my soulmate."
"What would Adam say if he heard that I was your best friend?" Clare teased and Eli, despite rolling his eyes, had his lips upturned into a fragment of a smile.
"You're changing the subject, Edwards. Just hear me out, alright. I am nervous enough as it is, and if I have to repeat this all over again I might just pass out; so shut up for five seconds and let me tell you what I need to tell you."
"Alright," Clare nodded, sensing that this was important. Eli's blush was deepening, and his hand was warm and damp within hers.
"Clare, we were together for basically two years total. Those two years, though they had their rough times, were the best two years of my life. I know that was ten years ago, but I think we can have that again. I don't want to spend a day without that. Clare…I know this is crazy. And I don't know what the hell I am doing here…but I just…I want to make a promise to you that this time, I am all in. I will never ruin us again. I will never hurt you like that again. I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you…"
"Eli…oh my God."
"Clare Edwards…will you marry me?"
Clare's brain shut down completely. She couldn't form a complete, concise thought. Finally, after a few moments, she realized what Eli had just asked her.
"Eli, no!" His face fell, and she was quick to explain herself, "I don't mean no, Eli. I just mean…not right now. We only just saw each other for the first time in ten years today. You can't just propose within five minutes of breaking up with your girlfriend and getting back together with me."
"I know. This is an engagement, a promise. I'm not asking you to marry me tomorrow or next month or even next year. Just make this promise with me that some time, someday, you'll be my wife. It will take time to get us to the point of marriage, but I know that I never want to lose you again. I know I want to wake up next to you every morning, and fall asleep next to you every night. Life is too short to not spend every moment possible with the one you love."
"Eli…" Clare blushed, her heart fluttering within her chest, "Yes. Yes…one day…I will marry you."
Not far from behind them, someone shouted, "About damn time!"