"Hold on!" Rossi yelled coming down the stairs with his gun drawn as some one banged on his his gun up he opened the door an froze.
"Can i come in." Phoenix asked Shivering as the rain started to fall.
Rossi pulled her in an closed the door setting his gun down.
"Tell me you didn't break out?" He asked her.
"I was put in on my own i wouldn't have to break out. "She said going into the front room an sitting down.
"You were released or you wanted out?" He asked walking to her.
"Dave is everything alright?" Muffin voice asked from the stairs.
"Hello Muffin." Phoenix called out an heard the women running down the stairs.
"Phoenix are you all right?" She asked rushing past Rossi an going to her.
"I'm better an you?"
"Oh forget about me can i get you anything ?"
"No thank you."
"Well if everything alright I'm going back to bed. It's nice to see you Phoenix."
"You too Night." Phoenix said watching her leave. "She's good for you."
"Phoenix-"
"No she is, she's not intimidated by other women she doesn't mind your job an could careless about your bank account she could the last Mrs Rossi." She smiled.
"Talk to me." He said sitting down next to her.
"I tried to kill myself." She said pulling up her jacket sleeve.
"Nixs?"
"My dreams are changing in stead of them i see you guys. One day i just saw the blade an did it." She said tears coming to her eyes as she looked any were but at him. "My mind has always been my weapon against others now its my worst enemy. I can't control it, I'm always in control."
Rossi pulled her to him an held her. "You will get threw this too Phoenix you'll see again you are not alone."
"I don't think i can Dave, how do i get over this before it was people i didn't know but this time-" Phoenix stopped turning to look at him. "Hotch how is he doing?"
Rossi smiled at her. "He won't talk to us all he dose is throws himself into work or into his son."
" I should have-"
"Stop." He said holding her chin so she didn't turn away from him. "You have to stop blaming yourself do you hear me?"
"I-"
"No you stop it now what happened happened we can't change anything now its done with, you need to deal with the here an now." He told her.
Phoenix bit her lip but nodded.
"Do you want to stay here?"
"I can't i have a nurse waiting that's why I'm out Doc said he thought i needed to be home but i have to have a nurse." she told him Pulling away.
"Um i know you're not going to want to do this but could you keep this to yourself I'm not really ready to have guest yet."
"Phoenix there worried about you." He said standing.
"I know Dave but Doc says i need to think about myself if i want to get better. The sooner i get better the sooner i can come back."
"You're coming back?" He asked her.
"I'm wanted back aren't i?"
"Yes, damn Phoenix of course we want you back we just weren't sure you'd be up to it." He said pulling her into a hug.
"Tell them I'm doing better an I'll will write them or something soon."
"Alright but call Ried you have to at least do that."
"Think i should call him when i get home?"
"He would love that even if you wake him up." He smiled walking her to the door. "So what's your nurse name ?"
"Becky Hall, she's nice." Phoenix shrugged.
"Keep in touch."
"I will." She smiled kissing his cheek. "I am happy for you Dave you know that right?"
"I do." He smiled letting her go as the nurse stepped out of the car. "Get some sleep after you call Ried."
"I will." She said walking away.
"Do you feel better?" Becky asked.
"Alittle yeah." She said getting in the car.
"Good, I'll get you something to eat an you can take your meds Doctor Round said he was stopping by they got your test back."
"Mmm." She said letting her eyes close.
"Phoenix wake up dear where home." Becky smiled shaking her.
"Mmm." She said waking up an getting out of the car.
"Hello Becky out for a ride?" the Doc asked.
"We went to see a friend now go sit down an I'll get everything going." She said opening the door for her.
"Doc i need to make a call then you can tell me what ever it is you wish." She said sitting on the couch an grabbing her phone she dialed Ried.
"Hotch?"
"Nope sleepy head it's me." She smiled hearing his voice.
"Ph...Phoenix is it you?"
"Yeah i can't talk long but i wanted to let you know I'm still kicking an hope to be back soon."
"Phoenix why haven't you called us sooner?"
"I'll tell you face to face one day now go back to sleep Spence I'll call again tomorrow ."
"No i-"
"Night Ried i have to eat an take my meds I'll call tomorrow on my word."
"Alright Nixs night."
"He was happy to hear from you?" Doc asked.
"Yeah, so what is it?"
"It can wait until you eat an take your meds." He smiled warmly at her.
Nodding she sat back an turned on the TV.
"Here dear some soup you can wash down the pills with these." Becky said handing her a bowel.
Phoenix ate her dinner an the pills watching the TV. When she was done Becky took the bowl an the Doc took her hands in his.
"Theres no infection this time Phoenix."
"What is it did i caught something, no that can't be Hotch is clean we had are exams." Phoenix said trying to get her mind to come up with why she was getting sick when it did she tired to pull away. "No it can't be!"
"Phoenix calm down." He said trying to keep a hold of her as Becky came back an tired to clam her down.
"No!" She yelled shaking her head. "You said it couldn't happen that it was impossible, Tell me it's not true TELL ME!" She screamed in tears.
"I can't Phoenix its true you're pregnant. I don't know how but you are." he told her holding her as her body went limp as she cried.
"I can't do this it's to much i can't."
"We can stop the birth if that is what you want." He told her.
"I'm not a killer I'm a month along it would be murder." She whimpered.
"You don't have to raise it." Becky said brushing her hair back.
Phoenix said nothing as she tried to curl in on herself.
"Becky help me get her to bed." Doc said lifting her up.
Becky nodded giving him a hand as they took her up stairs. Phoenix didn't notice them taking out any sharp object she had in her room nor did she see them leave as she curled into a ball an cried herself to sleep.
"Keep an eye on her Becky."
"Is it safe to keep giving her the meds?" Becky asked as they walked down stairs.
"Yes i prescribed them thinking that she might be pregnant."
"Shawn we've both know her since she was a child she never wanted kids how is she going to deal with this too?"
"Becky she will deal with it she is the strongest women we both have ever seen it might take her time but-" He stopped looking up. "Maybe she will keep it an see she would be a good mother."
"She could use something normal in her life i just wish it didn't happen like this." She sighted following his eyes.