Rewritten Dec 28.

Leon left to check on some things leaving Riku sitting alone in the living room. While the silence was soothing, it did nothing for the pressure building within him. It was slowly growing, waiting for that moment. When the time would finally come and everything would change, for better or worse. Part of him could not wait for it. At least then it would be over, one way or another.

He slammed a first down on the armrest and abruptly got to his feet. Damn it all! Why the hell was everything in his life so fucking complicated? What in the worlds had he done to deserve this? Or was it all preordained? Or worse, maybe everything was just has Sephiroth had said.

He had not wanted to believe the man's words, didn't want to put any faith in his twisted observations of the worlds. But, there was a certain truth to them. As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew there was. He had seen too much for there not to be.

And then there was that other voice. Sometimes a whisper, other times just a clinging sense of someone just beyond hearing range. Those soft, artificially soothing, caring tones of the one who told him to call her Mother.

Like hell he was going to do that.

He had finally kicked Ans-Xehanort fully and that's when she had started. Sephiroth was certain she was always there, just muted by the other. Once Riku was ready, Sephiroth would teach him how to silence her as he had finally done, when he had realized she was nothing but a desperate entity, manipulating him to serve her purpose.

Now that she was aware of another 'son's' existence, she was scrambling to take control. The anti-psychotics helped with quieting the noise but it never truly went away. Riku's efforts to remove her were further complicated by his own willingness to embrace the darkness. By making it a part of him and freely wielding it, he had given her the perfect access point.

But he could be rid of her. Sephiroth swore to it and having been under her influence for as long as he had and still residing in the dark, Riku had to believe him. His only real obstacle was he had to completely and totally be honest with himself and those he loved.

Sora and Kairi had been much easier than he expected. He knew he must have sounded emotionally detached from the situation as he carefully explained everything he knew. It was the only way he could approach the subject with them, act as if he was simply telling a story.

He knew Sora had not really understood any of it. Kairi, while also clearly confused, had simply come over and hugged him. He had been getting a lot of those from her lately. He was mildly surprised how much comfort he had drawn from the girl. She was definitely becoming the mothering type.

And then there was Sora, sweet, wonderful, often infuriatingly innocent Sora. His best friend tried so hard to help but it often ending up only making Riku feel worse. He really wished Sora was not so… diligent in his efforts. Yes, he knew when to back off and when to push but why? Riku could not understand why it was apparently so important to the other to take care of him.

He had done nothing but cause Sora pain, and even Kairi had suffered because of him. Now, he was going to do it to Cloud. Was that the type of person he was? Did all he do was cause anguish to those that got close to him?

Come on, Riku. Pull yourself back together. Funny how his inner voice sounded so much like Sora.

Standing, Riku pressed at his temples with both hands. This had to stop somehow. He was so tired of constantly questioning everything, tired of feeling worthless. He took a peculiar comfort in that once this last confession was done and everything was out in the open, it would all end, one way or the other.

That sounded kinda suicidal, didn't it?

He sighed and decided he needed some air. This fit of depression was rapidly going from bad to worse and he needed to do something. Stepping outside, he took a quick look around. There was no one else on the street as most would be working at this time of day. Heading away from the direction of town, he let his feet take him where they would.

--0—0--

Sora was thankful when Aerith said they were finished for the day. When he had agreed at dinner yesterday to help her with some chores around the house, he had not thought reorganizing the attic would be one of them. She had only lived here a few months, how the heck had she managed to accumulate so much stuff?

He gratefully accepted the lemonade she handed him, not bothering to check it before chugging it. It was not like she would accidentally add salt to it again and truth be told, he really did not think that had been an accident in the first place. Leon did kind of have it coming to him after criticizing her like he had.

"Would you take this out to Cloud?"

Sora's head perked up from its position thrown back against the chair top. "Cloud's here?"

"He's doing some garden work for me." She held out a glass to him.

"Sure." Getting up he took it from her and walked out back. Aerith had one of the largest backyards in town and a good chunk of it was taken up by her gardens. She had one for edibles and the other was flowers. Cloud was at the far end of the flower one.

Sora watched the man as he approached. Cloud had actually removed his shirt and the teen realized had never really looked at the warrior before. While Sora was nearly positive he was straight, he was able to at least admit to himself when he thought another man was attractive. And Cloud certainly fell into that category.

After a few moments of observation, he called out Cloud's name. The blond stopped, digging the till into the dirt and turning toward the teen. Sora held out the liquid refreshment. "Aerith thought you might want it."

Cloud step over and took it, drinking it quite a bit slower than Sora had his. When finished with the first draw, he studied the younger one. "Thanks."

"No prob." There was a brief period of silence. "Well, uh, I guess I'll see if Aerith needs anything else."

"Hang on." Cloud halted him. He, too, seemed a bit hesitant. "Look, I don't want things to be awkward between us. We've all known each other too long for that."

Sora rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. "I'm fine. Really. I'm totally okay with Riku dating you."

Cloud frowned at the choice of words. Leon's comment earlier came back to him. "Sora, I understand."

Sora gave him a look. "Understand what?"

Cloud simply went back to the garden patch he was working on.

After watching him turn up the earth for a bit, Sora took a step closer. He had no idea why or even what he was doing. "I'm not jealous of you."

"I didn't think you were."

"It's just, Riku means a lot to me, probably more than a friend should and I hate seeing him suffer."

The blonde stopped again and glanced over his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure," Sora answered honestly. "It's just… sometimes it really hurts to be with him. I feel his pain and I know I can't do anything about it."

Cloud said nothing.

"You mean more to him than anything. You're the reason he lives, I think. Sometimes I wish I was that important to him." Sora shook his head. "And other times, I thank the gods I'm not."

He studied the ground intently. "I'm so much further behind than him. It's like we exist on two different levels. I don't want to be so… weird about you guys, I really don't so please, just, don't tone it down for me, okay? I want to see how much you care about him."

Cloud fully turned back around. He stared at Sora for several long moments, considering the teen's outburst. There was so much more revealed by it than Sora likely knew. Cloud spoke precisely. "I love him."

Sora shifted.

"And I know he loves you. He wouldn't have done everything he had if he didn't. There was a time when I was a bit jealous of you because I didn't think he would ever do for me what he did for you. You are his best friend, his brother. You are to him what Leon has recently become to me. We're all a family now. Understand?"

Sora met his eyes and some of the concerns that had been dragging him down were swept away. Blue regarded blue with mutual respect. "Yeah. Thanks, Cloud."

A nod was all that was given.

Sora went back to the house with Cloud's now empty glass feeling a great deal better about a lot of things. Not only was he feeling more secure about being around the couple, his few concerns involving their relationship were quieted down. It might be rough, but he was confident they would all get through things together.

Aerith met him with a small knowing smile. "Everything better?"

"How do you do that?" Sora gaped.

She giggled, reminding him a bit of Kairi. His chest tightened a little and he wondered what the girl was doing right now. "Before you go, would you move the upstairs dresser from my room to Yuffie's? It makes more sense for her to have it."

"Uh, yeah, sure."

--0—0--

After two more hours of labor, Sora was finally dismissed to go clean up. Cloud finished at about the same time and they ended up walking back to the house together. Since dinner would be at Aerith's that night, they were ordered to return in an hour.

Feeling the need to talk because Sora did not particularly like silence, he groaned loudly, twisting his shoulders. "That was way more work than I expected. Remind me to ask 'what' next time someone asks me for help."

Cloud chuckled very lightly.

"How bad was your chore?"

The shrugged dismissively.

"Back to not talking again, huh?" Sora turned a little while still walking. "And I thought we were beginning to really connect."

Cloud raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fine. I see how it is. Unless it's about Riku, you don't wanna talk." Sora pouted but there was no anger behind it. "Okay, did you know Riku likes to sing pop songs when he's doing homework?"

"He does?"

"Yeah, around everyone else he's all into the alternative, hard rock but catch him alone and he'll be singing some boy band or whatever."

Cloud smiled at him. "He's going to kill you for telling me that."

"Hey, that's what brothers are for; to torture you by telling embarrassing stuff to your boyfriend." Sora grinned, lacing his fingers together behind his head. "Wanna know more?"

"Definitely."

--0—0—

By the time they reached the house, Cloud was fully smiling and even laughing at points. Sora knew he was so dead once Riku found out about this but he did not care. He and Cloud had bonded now and he felt infinitely better.

They were only slightly surprised to find no one home. Obviously, Leon would still be working because the man simply did not know how not to. Riku might have even gone with him. If not, there were plenty of things he could be doing.

At least that was what Sora convinced himself. He told Cloud to shower first and after the man disappeared into the bathroom. Sora sat on the couch and allowed a small worried frown to cross his face. He immediately got up again and poked his head into Cloud's room. Reassured by the sight of Riku's open, disheveled bag, he returned to the couch.

Maybe he just went for a walk. Riku was known for wandering off to think, not that Sora wanted Riku going off to think on his own. The memory of finding Riku huddled in his room still chilled him to the core and pained his heart. He never wanted to experience anything like that again.

But that time, Sora had felt something was happening. He had known Riku was in trouble. He did not feel anything now and that was greatly comforting. Riku would be back soon.

"Shower's free," Cloud called down the hall.

Sora stood and walked back over. He passed Cloud who was in the bathroom doorway to get some clothes from his bag. When he came back out of Leon's bedroom, Cloud was still standing there in his towel. The man met Sora's eyes for a moment and the teen knew Cloud was aware something significant was about to happen. The swordsman's tone was firm. "I won't leave him."

Sora only nodded before Cloud moved away and the brunet headed into the shower.

Feeling much better, Sora left the bathroom and after dumping his dirty clothes went to the kitchen. Leon had come home and Sora could just hear that he and Cloud were quietly discussing something. Sora slowed his approach, hoping to catch a little of what they were saying.

"I'm really worried about him. It's like he's just waiting for it all to end." Sora had never heard that much emotion in Cloud's voice.

"I don't know what he's got to say but you know how Riku is. How long did he avoid you during the Ansem body mess?"

"I know. It's just… something about this time feels different."

"He'll talk when he's ready."

There was a break in the conversation and Sora decided it was time to make his appearance. "Hey, Leon."

He got a head bob as Leon took a final swig of his water and tossed the bottle away. "I ran into Riku on the way here. He's meeting us at Aerith's. You two ready?"

"Let's go."

--0—0—

The three walked quietly back to where two of them had spent most of the day. Cid was smoking outside and beside him was Riku, taking a drag off his own cigarette. The second the older teen saw Sora, the cigarette dropped. "Shit."

"Busted." Cid smirked.

Sora folded his arms angrily. Before he could say anything, however, Riku was trying to appease him. "Look, Sora that was the only one. I swear! I just lit it, too."

"Uh huh."

"I mean it!" He tapped Cid's arm. "Tell him, Cid."

"Hey, it's your fuckin' life. You deal with it." The eldest of the group stamped out his butt in the door side tray and entered the house.

Riku's eyes begged for forgiveness and Sora held out as long as he could before caving. But he would have the last word. "Well, now I don't feel so bad for telling Cloud all that stuff about you."

A panicked look crossed Riku's face. "What stuff?"

"Oh, nothing important." Sora answered airily as he passed him on the stoop. "Is the food done? I'm starving."

Riku turned on Cloud. "What did he say cause whatever it is, it's not true."

Cloud stepped up to wrap his arms around Riku's waist. "It was nothing important, just like he said."

Riku clearly did not believe him. Cloud grinned and pulled Riku closer for a kiss. "Come on, after dinner you can sing Sexy Back for us."

Leon snorted as Riku looked confused for a second. Understanding kicked in and glaring, he bolted away from Cloud. "Sora! I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

An eep was heard followed by the sound of someone running out the back.

Leon held out a fist to Cloud as he came up the step, which Cloud tapped. "Good one."

Ten minutes later, everyone was seated, Sora and Riku both rather disheveled and a bit bruised, and eating. There was light conversation, again carried mostly by Yuffie but the tension from earlier conversations worked its way beneath the talking. It was as if now that it had been acknowledged by four of the people present, the unease refused to be ignored.

Not long after finishing, the group broke up and Leon, Sora, Cloud and Riku returned to their home. Leon and Sora took the lead as Cloud and Riku followed. They were barely out the door when Cloud took Riku's hand and it did not look like he was letting go of it any time soon. The air was still and it was like the world itself was waiting for something.

At the house, Leon and Sora where up the front steps, Leon opening the door as Cloud made his first step upon them. It was then that Riku softly told everyone to wait. Two curious faces and one concerned one turned to him and he swallowed. He stared down at the ground as he quietly spoke. "I need to tell you guys something."