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By Any Means Necessary

By Adelie King

Chapter Six: Trip Preparations

O'Neill finally made his way to Frasier's office looking worn out. "Hey doc…what did you want to see me about?" He shut the door behind him so they could talk privately.

"Preparing you for your week with Sam…" She handed him two prescription bottles. Janet started to tell him, "One is a pain killer for your knees…"

Jack opened the other one and saw little blue diamond shaped pills in it. He told her, "I have no problems lasting doc." He tried to hand the bottle back, "I don't need Viagra."

"You will in a few days Colonel." Frasier warned, "Women in their sexual peak can tire a man out easily, especially one like Sam who hasn't had it in a while."

His eyebrows raised a moment, "I can handle Carter in every situation and I have doc. This situation should be no different." O'Neill was overconfident as usual.

Frasier told him, "Keep them just in case and take vitamin E for your sex drive and Vitamin B for energy and stamina." She also added, "She's on the pill so you don't have to worry about that issue."

"Okay doc." At this point he just wanted to get out of there and get home packing. Jack opened her office door and tried to leave.

Janet then asked, "So is she still being stubborn or has she finally agreed to her downtime with you?"

Jack grinned, "Considering she just tried to jump me in her quarters. I think it's a safe bet she's more than ready to cooperate. It was so hard on me to leave her lying on the bed like that." He tensed up at his painfully aroused state.

Frasier had to ask, "Why didn't you Colonel? It could've relaxed you and her long enough to get to Minnesota."

O'Neill answered, "I want guaranteed cooperation when we get there without arguments." He paused leaving and told her, "And I'm afraid if we start we can't stop." He finally managed to escape Janet's office so he could leave the mountain to go home and go shopping for their trip.

Meanwhile Major Samantha Carter had gone out and bought some nice lingerie. She knew he liked things that were simple in general. So she settled for simple but slightly revealing. Sam also bought some sex technical manuals on positions technique since she had been restricted from the net per General Hammond's orders. She plotted to read them openly while Jack was driving just to torture him. That'll teach him to leave me the way he did earlier. Sam thought smiling wickedly.

She got back to her house and packed everything she could possibly need. Carter determined the best book to torture the guy was the Fellatio Techniques book. She couldn't wait to see if he would swerve off the road when he saw it.

Colonel Jack O'Neill decided to buy some things in one of the adult stores in town. He wanted to have everything covered for every scenario imaginable. After all this was his first time with Sam and he didn't want to look out of practice. The problem was he didn't know what flavor and scents she liked for massage oil… Bingo, blue-raspberry flavor. He picked up the bottle, opened the cap and smelled it.

Jack confused, not knowing anything about her intimate tastes half wondered if he should just call her and ask. He also prayed she wasn't into anything weird as he looked through the numerous level massage books.

Finally selecting his items that he figured she would approve of without her present.

O'Neill started for the register when he spotted General Hammond walking in.

He froze not knowing whether to freak out or laugh. Oh…crap. I am so fucked if he sees me. He thought thinking of a strategy of how to get through this. Maybe he won't see me. Jack prayed hiding behind one of the shelves.

Too late…

Hammond came around the corner and saw O'Neill. They froze out of shock speechless staring at each other turning beet red. Both had no idea what to say or do. The General looked over the items Jack was buying which were the more innocent of items. Jack finally acted casual as if nothing was abnormal and officially greeted him, "Sir…"

"Colonel…" George greeted him back and went about his business.

O'Neill went up to the cashier, paid for his things and left. When he got inside his truck, Jack left out a breath he'd been holding "That was close…" He took a breath, started his truck and drove home to finish packing. He realized he had to call Carter and give her his ETA time.

Carter had just about finished packing when O'Neill's call came through, "Hello Sir…"

"You won't believe who I just ran into at the porn shop." Jack had to tell her about this.

"Who?" She curiously asked.

"Hammond." He couldn't help but smirk.

Sam's eyes grew and she covered her mouth giggling. "What'd you two do?" She was dying to hear this.

"We greeted each other and went about our business." Jack replied in his innocent tone.

"Thank God." She commented relived and the asked him, "What were you doing in an adult shop anyway?"

"To get things for the week and then I realized I didn't know what your tastes are or what to buy because you weren't there with me." O'Neill stated.

"Well thank God I wasn't." Sam remarked, "How would we have ever explained to Hammond why we were both there?"

"Good point." Jack agreed then told her, "I'll be there around 08:00 hours. Be ready for me."

"Oh I will…" Carter promised him in sultry tone, "And you're so going to pay for earlier today Sir."

He then insisted, "Sam…we're going to do the nasty all week. I don't want you moaning and screaming Sir while writing under me."

"Yes Jack." She corrected in a teasing tone of voice, "So confident aren't we. I can't wait till you get here."

Jack knew he was in serious trouble now and started getting excited physically as hell. "See you in the morning." He used a controlled tone and hung up not letting her know she had the upper hand. O'Neill didn't know yet what he was getting into. But this was only the beginning.