Communicating

***

They decided I could move out of the Healing Centre. Melts Blue Ice asked me to stay with him and Diane. He didn't like the idea of me living on my own. Diane had prepared a room for me, and on the bed was a pile of old worn boxes and bags.

"What's this?" I asked.

"The stuff you left with us last time, I thought it'd be a bit more welcoming to have some of your own stuff here. Throw out what you don't want anymore."

How could I have forgotten this stuff? I was going insane. The red back pack!!

I listened to the radio after Diane and Melts Blue Ice went to sleep each night. The humans seemed to have improved the system, and were using more frequencies. I could only get the one frequency; it was now just used for personal communications. I listened night after night for a voice I would recognize. Anyone at all. Sometimes I thought I recognised Shana, or Stan, but I could never be sure. I wasn't used to listening to people's voices through the system, and everyone constantly used codes names. But I finally felt connected to the humans again. Even if wasn't major events, even if it wasn't my humans, it was the type of petty dramas they were living through too.

"How's your new boyfriend?" a voice asked.

"Progressing more slowly than expected. They say Russians are good at two things: great suffering and great rulers. He's definitely got a handle on both."

"Hush!" but the other voice only laughed.

"I hope I'll have a handle on him soon."

"You're shameless."

"What? The kids like him, I like him… I don't see the problem."

"I've got to go. Next week?"

"See you then."

Then one night, I listened enraptured as I heard Bhaskar. He was sending a message to a friend at Dorsey's camp. His voice brought him back to me as if he was right there in the room with me.

"I hope you can help me learn that song you were teaching me last time, I've completely forgotten it and it's driving me nuts. Anyway…"

I picked up the transmitter shakily, waiting for decades until he finished speaking. That boy could talk!

"This is a message for Boy," I said finally, heart in my throat. Surely he would recognize me? His voice came back after the shortest of pauses.

"Hello?!"

I was crying again before I knew it, and trying desperately not to. Since when was I such a weeper?

"Hi, Boy," I managed to say.

"Hi," he said, "How are you?"

"I'm ok. I miss you."

"Me too. I miss you so much."

I held my hand over my mouth so he wouldn't hear me crying.

"I can't come visit," I said eventually.

"Oh."

"I wish I could. It's so good to hear your voice."

"Yeah." There was a faint noise in the background "Look, I can't talk now. We'll talk later. Ok?"

"Ok."

And he was gone.

***

The next night I listened for a suitable pause in the voice traffic.

"This is a message for Boy?" I jumped in nervously. This time it seemed the pause was endless.

"Hello?" Bhask finally answered.

"Hi!" I gasped.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine," I lied.

"Where are you?"

"Um… at Cara's." There was a long pause.

"I've got to go."

"No!" I cried, then held my breath, listening. Had I woken Melts Blue Ice?

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and there was nothing. I heard movement from the other bedroom and shoved the radio off and under the bed.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Are you ok?" Diane whispered.

"Sorry Diane, did I wake you? Just a bad dream."

She came and sat on the bed and rubbed my back.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Uh, not really." God, no. Fabricating a bad dream was the last thing I wanted to do.

"I think I'll just get back to sleep," I said.

"You're sure?"

"I'm fine, really. Thanks. Go back to bed. Cara will have you up in a minute."

She smiled sadly at me and left.

***

Bhask's messages were perplexing. He sounded as if he wasn't supposed to be using the radio. I wasn't supposed to be using it, as a Soul. But surely he wouldn't get in trouble for that? It's not like we were saying anything dangerous; we both were very careful with what we said. Who would get him in trouble for that? Surely Hawkmoth wouldn't be listening to talk-back radio at this time of night? Or maybe it was how he his finger on the pulse of his people. Just like me.

I decided not to try using it again unless Bhask called me first. But though I listened every night for 3 days, I heard nothing else.