"Meet James Wolfe." Shapiro gestured to the man next to him as Dan joined them at their table. "Senior Editor at New York Magazine."
"It's nice to meet you." Dan said, trying to appear suave as he shook the man's hand, even though he was shaking with excitement.
"Shapiro showed me your latest work on the Claire Carlyle story. I'm very interested." James Wolfe explained casually as if he wasn't giving Dan the break he'd been waiting for.
"Well, I'm…I'm flattered." Dan stammered mentally telling himself not to say too much, otherwise he'd end up rambling about how happy he is and what an honor and how this is like a dream to him, then before he'd know what was happening, he'd talk himself right out of this opportunity. "Your magazine doesn't usually publish fiction."
"It's not really fiction though, is it?" He replied confidently.
"It's…it's portrayed as fiction." Dan began to explain. "As much as I appreciate this opportunity, it can't be like…an exposé."
He instantly mentally kicked himself in the balls and started screaming at himself to stop talking.
"We won't print your name and we'll keep the pseudonyms you've already assigned to the characters. But the readers will love to know that this girl, with all her mommy issues and insecurities, exists somewhere within Manhattan's Elite."
Dan froze. He knew he was expected to give an answer now. The terms would be clarified, the chapters edited in collaboration with the editor and contracts signed. But he needed to answer now. Shapiro sensed his trepidation and leaned across the table.
"You just grew a pair, Humphrey. Don't lose them now." His beady eyes looked judgmentally upon Dan through his glasses. "This could open real doors for you."
Dan mentally weighed the decision. If he published it, odds are that nobody would find out it was about Blair, no one in his world or hers would even read it. And even if it did get out, it's not like the world would end. But if he didn't agree to this, after months of dedicating himself to chasing his dreams only to turn down a rather significant chance to get published, he would probably never forgive himself.
Instead of speaking, Dan reached across the table and James Wolfe reciprocated. Shapiro looked over the shaking hands with a smirk on his face.
Dan had thought that once he had committed to it, he'd be able to stop second-guessing himself. He was still terrified, a bit guilty but excited at the same time. He ignored the negative feelings, telling himself that he'd gone too far to turn back now.
He wanted to share the news. But Rufus was still freaking out about Jenny, who had moved in with her model friend and was still hell-bent on setting up her own fashion line. He had asked Dan to talk to her, which Dan had just to check in that she was okay, but he could understand why she was doing what she was doing and couldn't tell her that she should come home. So Dan came to the conclusion that telling his dad that his work on Blair was getting published, would not garner a celebratory hug. Probably a disappointed head shake, a sigh, and then a pat on the shoulder to show that even if he didn't agree with what Dan was doing, he was still proud. Dan decided that he would prefer to be spared from the pity pride.
The person he usually went to when it came to his writing was Vanessa, but she had been avoiding him since Nate had moved in. As for Nate…well, it was kind of like having a puppy. They kept him fed, whenever someone came home Nate was always happy to see them, he could find old mini basketballs that Dan had lost behind couches and sideboards years ago, then coerce Dan into playing catch with him. And as loyal as Nate probably was, Dan felt no inclination to tell him about what had been going on at all. Nate's loyalties probably lay with Blair over Dan anyway.
Since his stay, Nate had been moved into Dan's room and Dan had moved to Jenny's room. It probably wasn't the most efficient arrangement, but the idea of Nate sleeping in Jenny's bed freaked Dan out for some reason. More disturbing was the fact that Nate sleeping in his bed didn't bother him at all. Besides, Dan could sit working on his laptop, then Nate would come in and collapse on the bed then start throwing a ball up and down. Dan could make conversation and Nate would remain wonderfully clueless as Dan steered the conversation towards Blair. Dan had got lots of details out of him that really helped bring the Claire Carlyle character to life.
As for Blair herself, Dan hadn't seen her lately. Since Serena had started seeing Aaron, it got harder for Dan to put himself in situations where he could spend time with Blair. So, for the first time, he went out of his way to be manipulative. He called Serena, told her that Nate was down and needed a good distraction and probably to get out of Brooklyn for a few hours, Serena felt sympathetic and immediately invited the two of them to come and help prepare for Blair's birthday party. Dan told Nate that they had been summoned by the Queen B and off they went.
Walking into the penthouse still made Dan uncomfortable, even with an invite and an Archibald to escort him, he felt like he was trespassing in some way. Serena came out of the dining room in a hurry, with Blair following behind looking furious, her fists curled a little as they hung by her sides.
"Hi, guys!" Serena smiled at the two of them as she rushed past them. "I'd love to stay and help, but Aaron just texted me. You three can take care of this." She added, just as she stepped into the elevator and the doors shut.
Dan looked from the elevator to Blair and saw that she was not happy about being saddled with the two of them.
"Oh great, more work for me." Nate groaned as he made himself at home and slouched on the couch.
Blair looked pissed. Dan guessed that Serena had told Blair that she had to keep Nate entertained and to be nice to him, so for Serena to leave and then having Nate start to complain straight away clearly made her feel like she had been horribly wronged by everyone around her.
"What can we do?" Dan asked to try and relieve some of the tension that only he and Blair were aware of.
"This isn't exactly a party at the loft with banners, balloons and a face-cake, Humphrey. I've got staff on their way now with flowers, food and music. It's your job to watch over them while I get ready seeing as my mom is…indisposed. Archibald, I assume you remember my standards?"
Nate nodded in response and Blair turned back to Dan, who still hadn't taken more than two steps into her home.
"Good, you can educate Humphrey." She added, and then stormed off upstairs.
"Um…I'll be right back." Dan said awkwardly to Nate, before he followed Blair upstairs. He knew how strange that would look to Nate, but had no explanation to give quite yet. But if he knew Blair, which he was fairly certain that he did, there was something else going on here.
"Blair?" He asked delicately after he knocked on her door.
"If you and Nate find it too difficult a task to evaluate whether the flowers are fresh enough and if the food is being laid out symmetrically or not, you can refer to Dorota!" She yelled through the door.
Dan didn't respond, instead he took a risk and opened the door knowing that there was no other way he could get her to engage with him right now.
"Humphrey, what are you doing?!" She snapped as she saw his reflection in the mirror she was standing in front of. She had already changed into a short, dark robe and had gathered her hair back into a loose bun.
"I, uh…I'm not sure." He stuttered as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him.
"Okay, you're in my bedroom. This is far too disturbing." Blair scrunched up her face as she spun round.
"Hey, I've been in your bedroom before." He replied before thinking and they both paused. Neither had acknowledged the night she had come to see her after things between her and Chuck had been thoroughly destroyed.
"What do you want?" Blair crossed her arms.
"What's wrong? I know it's not me and Nate gate-crashing."
"It's just the stress of throwing an elegant and grandiose birthday party. You wouldn't understand." She explained as she turned back to the mirror and started playing with the strands of her that had fallen out of her bun.
"Blair…are you upset about Yale?" Dan tried his first guess.
"No. Believe it or not, everything with Emma turned out alright in the end. She talked to Dean Barube about me and led him to the conclusion that Yale could really use a girl like Blair Waldorf." She explained and Dan could see a hint of a smile in her reflection.
"That's great." He replied sincerely before he went to his second guess. "So, where's your mom?"
It was microscopic, but Dan saw her shoulders drop slightly and her eyes dart to the floor. He had got it.
"My mother is spending the afternoon with her new boyfriend, Cyrus Rose." She answered, her voice and facial expressions bother under complete control.
"On your birthday?" Dan asked, stepping closer to her.
"She'll be here later." Blair replied in a lighter tone as she turned back round to look at Dan again.
"And, the new boyfriend…do you like him?" Dan kept poking. He could tell that Blair wanted to vent, that she wanted to scream and stamp her feet and demand that her mother pay more attention to her, it was just a question of whether she felt she could vent in front of him.
"I have things to do." She stated unconvincingly. Dan nodded understandingly and he could see that she was relieved that he had dropped the subject. But he wasn't giving up quite yet. He turned away from her and wondered over to her bed, taking a seat on it.
"You know…I consider myself to be a pretty rational guy, but…when it comes to my parents….I don't even know why, because I want my mom to be happy, I do, but…when I go visit her and see her with her new boyfriend, it just makes me so angry. It makes my skin crawl. I've got no illusions about my parents getting back together, I know that that's never going to happen, so I don't know if that's why I get mad, or…or if it's just the fact that…I barely see my mom as it is. And now when I do, I have to share her. She's been building this new life, and no matter what she says to the contrary, I'm not a part of it. And if your own mom can't put you first…they're supposed to put you first. You want them to be able to recognize when something is hurting you so much and you want them to fix it…even when you know that that won't really make you feel any better, because then you'll just feel guilty about taking something away from them…it would be nice if they could at least could take notice of how you feel." He stopped them, reading Blair's face and trying to gage whether to continue or not. She watched him in the same way, curious to see if he was going to continue, or if he was going to spell out his point even though it was pretty clear, when it was clear neither of them were going to speak, she broke the silence.
"It would be nice if you would recognize that I'm going to have to burn those bed sheets now." She huffed impatiently.
"Right, sorry." Dan reacted quickly, jumping off her bed. He hadn't been aware of what he was doing when he had sat down there. "I should probably get back to Nate…I mean, I guess you know why…"
"Yes, Serena told me that Nate probably needed to get out of Brooklyn for a night. How could I not take pity on him?" Blair confirmed.
"How could you not?" Dan repeated, smiling at her before he let himself out of her room and left her to get dressed.
Dan wondered back downstairs to find the penthouse half transformed for Blair's elegant party already. He tried to keep out of the way of the servers that rushed around as he made his way to Nate, who was rearranging a vase of flowers in the dining room.
"If Blair comes down and sees the ratio of gladiolas to cabbage roses in here, someone's going to bleed." Nate sighed as he saw Dan approach and began to pull the gladiolas out. Dan had no idea what he was talking about, and simply gave Nate a half-stunned, half-concerned look. "Hey, I dated Blair Waldorf for half my life, of course I know about this kind of stuff."
"Sure…whatever." Dan replied suspiciously.
"So, what was all that about?" Nate stopped and turned to Dan, gesturing upstairs.
"What was all what…?" Dan repeated, trying to buy time to think of something.
"You running after Blair." Nate clarified, crossing his arms ready to counterattack any of Dan's fake cluelessness.
"Oh, I was just…asking Blair about the flowers. You're right by the way, she said that she didn't want many cabbage…"
"Roses?" Nate asked as Dan had already forgotten what they were called.
"Yeah, that's right." Dan nodded, but Nate's demeanour was unchanged. He remained facing Dan, his arms crossed and an expectant look on his face. "What?"
"I heard you on the phone to Serena earlier, you know I'd rather be in Brooklyn than helping Blair with her party which leads me to believe that you would rather be helping Blair with her party then be in Brooklyn."
"It's not what you think." Dan blurted out as fast as he could. "I..I..I…."
"You like Blair." Nate stated matter-of-factly.
"No!" Dan began to panic. "No, no, no. I…I…I can't explain."
"Relax, your secret's safe with me." Nate friendlily hit him on the arm and wondered back into the reception area, Dan followed right behind him.
"Nate, listen, you got it wrong. I don't-" Dan continued to ramble, but was interrupted by Dorota's entrance into the room. Dan and Nate froze awkwardly as she watched over the staff rushing in and out of the room and seemed to mutter things in Polish under her breath.
Forty minutes passed agonizingly slowly as Dan pretended he cared about how the food was laid out and side-eyed Nate, overwhelmed with embarrassment whenever Nate caught his eye and seemed to laugh under his breath. As soon as Dan got the chance, he rushed back to Nate's side.
"Look, I can assure you that I don't like Blair." Dan cut straight to the point.
"Sure you don't." Nate replied as a big smile spread across his face.
"No, really, there's…I can't tell you what's going on, but…I don't like her." Dan repeated.
"You are such a bad liar." Nate shook his head gleefully as he teased Dan.
"What's he lying about?" Both boys turned as they heard Blair's voice.
She began to descend the stairs as Dan took in the sight of her. He didn't think he'd ever seen her in a dress that short and his eyes cast over her slim legs that impossibly still had a hint of a tan leftover from the summer. Overall, Dan didn't really like the dress. He wasn't a fan of ruffles, but…with Blair in it, it didn't look so bad. It showed a lot of skin, but somehow she pulled it off as elegantly as he was sure she hoped. Maybe it was the poise and grace in which she moved. Perhaps it was the way her hair had been loosely pulled back making her look like a 50's movie star, or maybe it was the way the thin but bold eyeliner framing her eyes demanded that you stare into them until you forget your own name.
"What's Humphrey lying about?" Blair repeated as she reached the bottom of the stairs.
Dan looked to Nate, who judging from the grin he couldn't supress, had been watching Dan. Dan quickly felt the need to internally explain away what had just happened. It's because of what Nate had been saying. That had freaked him out, so when he saw Blair he froze. That was all. Not that long ago, he had been in her bedroom, on her bed and she had been in a silk dressing gown, and he hadn't freaked out then. This was definitely Nate's fault.
"I was just asking him if he knew what had happened to this steak and cheese sub that I had in the fridge." Nate told Blair, that smug smile not leaving his face for one instant no matter how much Dan wished it away.
"You know, I don't know which one of you I pity the most for having to live with the other." Blair stated. "Anyway, you two can go now." She added dismissively.
"Yeah, of course." Dan agreed, already stepping towards the elevator.
"You'll be back at seven then?" Blair asked casually.
"What?" Dan stopped in his tracks, Nate still hadn't moved.
"For my party." Blair said as if it was obvious. "You two don't really think that I'd make you help and then not invite you do you?"
Dan paused. That is exactly what he thought.
"Sounds great, Blair. We'll see you at seven." Nate said as if it was the best news he'd gotten in his life before he joined Dan in the elevator.
"I hate you." Dan said as soon as the doors closed and Nate chuckled in response.
The whole way back to the loft, Dan was analyzing his choices. And as much as the idea of it repulsed him, Nate thinking that he liked Blair would have its advantages. Dan would be able to ask him questions about her without any pretences and maybe Nate would even help to get the two of them in the same room more often. But actually telling Nate that he liked Blair…eugh, it sent shivers down Dan's spine.
Nate made conversation about the weather and how they should grab some food before they went back to Blair's, but he kept eyeing Dan in that smug way. Especially when he'd say Blair's name. Dan would squirm under his stare and continue to argue with himself over what to tell Nate.
They got changed and as Nate lent Dan one of his jackets, he made a comment about how he should make an effort for Blair and Dan made the choice that he would spend the rest of the night wishing he hadn't.
"Okay, okay, you can stop now. I'm admitting it." He said with a nervous smile.
"You like Blair." Nate seemed to say to himself, like it was too good to be true. "How did this happen?"
"I don't know." Dan whined. "Can we just…go? And can you please stop giving me that look. I'm not going to do anything about it, so…it's really not worth all the drama that would happen if anyone else found out."
"You're probably right." Nate sighed, his hand falling on Dan's shoulder. "But if you don't want anyone to find out, you've got to stop looking at her all googly-eyed."
"I wasn't…" Dan trailed off. He didn't have the energy or will to argue, so he decided to let Nate believe what he wanted. "Okay, I'll try. Let's go."
At first he felt relieved. Once Dan had admitted to liking Blair – even though he definitely did not – Nate had backed off. He stopped giving Dan that knowing look and stopped pointedly saying Blair's name. But that doesn't mean he wasn't paying attention. When they arrived, Nate's face fell immediately as he saw that someone had disturbed the flowers that he had arranged and rushed over to correct them again. This left Dan alone when Blair came over to greet them, Dan awkwardly wished her a happy birthday, but he couldn't help but glance over at Nate, who, like Dan had expected, was watching them expectantly.
The whole night was like that. Every move Dan made, he knew Nate was watching and so he decided to keep his distance from Blair as best he could. He'd probably got enough material for another chapter from earlier in the day anyway. He didn't need to know what was going on with Blair, her mom and her mom's new boyfriend. And he really didn't care.
Maybe he was a bit curious. A healthy curiosity. So, he turned his attention to Eleanor. And when her new boyfriend showed up, Dan almost choked on the crudité he had been trying to chew on inconspicuously while he stalked Blair's mother. No wonder Blair had freaked out, this guy was so not…acceptable. Not to Dan, but to Blair. But once he got over the initial shock, one thing became obvious to Dan – this guy adored Eleanor.
The next thing that became obvious to Dan was that Blair had obviously done something to mess with the two of them, because Eleanor seemed pissed and Cyrus had to leave. He then saw Eleanor go to Blair and say something to her, he couldn't make out what it was but he knew guilt when he saw it on Blair's face. And once Eleanor left, it only intensified.
Dan couldn't deny the thrill he'd started to get when things like this happened. It wasn't about the drama, the schemes or the even the raw emotion of it all. It was these very specific moments when the situation fell into Blair's hands and he couldn't guess what she was going to do next. From the look on her face, he could see that she didn't know what to do next either.
Nate's presence began to linger in the back of Dan's mind, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Blair. He had to see what was going to happen next. And what did happen, he could never have predicted. Cyndi Lauper showed up. Blair exchanged a few sentences with her, and then she grabbed her coat and was gone.
So, Dan waited. He loitered by the snacks, his eyes casting up at the door every four seconds to see if Blair had returned yet.
"Oh, my God. Dan Humphrey is here."
Dan didn't recognize the voice, but the tone of disgust and condescension was far too familiar. He turned and there was Penelope with Hazel at her side.
"You were not invited, I was in charge of the guest list!" Penelope stepped towards him and strangely enough Dan could see that it wasn't hatred spurning her on, but fear. She was obviously terrified about what Blair was going to do to her.
"Last minute invite." Dan shrugged as he crunched on a bit of carrot, strangely enjoying the bizarre torture he was inflicting in front of them.
"It was you!" Penelope quickly turned on Hazel. "Are you so desperate to get a boyfriend that you actually invited Humdrum-Humphrey to Blair's elegant birthday party?"
"Ladies," Nate swooped in majestically at just the right time, "is everything alright?"
He suavely placed a hand on each of their arms, making them melt instantly. Dan was sure that Nate hated them just as much as he did, so he really didn't know how he could put on a nice smile for the two of them.
"Oh, Nate," Penelope suddenly became a bit breathless, "I didn't know you were invited."
"I don't believe that I was originally, but Dan and I helped Blair get ready today, so she asked us to come." He explained politely.
"Blair invited you?" Penelope asked.
"Both of you?" Hazel added.
"That's right." Nate stated, still maintaining his smooth persona. But Dan could see that Nate was only doing this for him.
At that moment, Dan saw Blair reappear with Cyrus at her side, and excused himself. Nate followed his gaze and couldn't stop the grinning as he looked back at Dan.
Dan ignored him and kept his focus on Blair as she appeared to send Cyrus ahead to talk to Eleanor in the kitchen, then stepped towards her once she was alone.
"You did a good thing." He said, startling her as he spoke.
"I must say, I don't know what you're talking about." Blair replied innocuously as she smoothed a hand over her hair.
"Right. I'll admit that I didn't see a lot…but I saw enough to know that you did a good thing."
"My mother is dating a man shorter than me. How is that a good thing?"
"Look how happy you made her." Dan replied, gesturing towards the kitchen. She peered round the doorway to see her mother and Cyrus kissing.
"That's disgusting." She said when she turned back to Dan, but he saw her smile when she looked to the ground.
"So…seeing as I wasn't really invited to your party until four hours ago, I didn't get you a gift-"
"It's probably a good thing that I'm spared your taste in gifts." Blair interjected, raising her hand towards him dismissively.
"Well, I suppose me giving up my afternoon to help you with your party could count as a gift." Dan said, unfazed by her insult.
"Please, Humphrey. You didn't do anything. I know Nate's flower arrangements when I see them." Blair smirked. "I am the one who taught him, after all."
"Hey, I gave…my time. And that's like…priceless." Dan stuttered.
"With an imagination like that, it's no wonder you're a writer." Blair laughed and Dan laughed along with her, until he remembered the deal he had made earlier that day.
"Blair!" Eleanor's voice beckoned from the kitchen.
"Well, I have some explaining to do." Blair huffed. "Thank you, Humphrey."
"No, problem. Happy Birthday, Blair." Dan smiled as she walked dejectedly to her mother.
His eyes fell to her legs again. They looked smooth. He then asked himself what the hell he was doing and wished that he could blame this one on Nate too.
He and Nate left shortly after. It was obvious that Nate was dying to ask him some questions, but thankfully he didn't that night. But Dan knew it would only be a matter of time until Nate would push him for more information. He wondered if this meant he'd have to make it look like he was actively pursuing Blair when Nate was around.
When Dan got home, he collapsed on Jenny's bed and could have fallen asleep right there with all his clothes on if it wasn't for Nate's arrival.
"Sorry man, I thought you might want your laptop before I go to bed." He explained as he passed the laptop into Dan's hand.
"Oh yeah, thanks man." Dan replied. Every night that Nate had stayed there so far, Dan had always forgotten to go get his laptop every night before Nate had gone to bed, and had trudged in to get it so he could do some writing before he fell asleep.
He looked at the laptop in his hands and realized that he hadn't thought about writing the Blair story for most of the night. Everything he had done that night had just been him doing what he wanted, not for some ulterior motive. As he realized this, he simultaneously came to the conclusion that he had to stop writing the story on Blair.