Disclaimer: Wow. That's pathetic. I really have to tell you? … nope, not gonna say it. You already know, and if you don't… (awkward silence).

A/N: Another chapter, just like I promised! And I finished all the episodes of The Mentalist today, so now I'll just be doing reruns and working on fanfiction ideas… heh, weird that I already have an idea for one. It'll be good, trust me… I hope…

Ally: Not important, Anevay, get on with the chapter. Be a good little writer, now. Go on!

Anevay: Yeah, yeah, thanks for that Ms. Enforcer.

Ally: Just doing my job.

Anevay: sorry this one is a bit short...

Grieving

Mana should have stopped them from going. She should have threatened to kill herself if they went – to leave Atem, to never forgive them… but no, that wasn't who she was. She was supposed to support her friends, even if she regretted it, this time. Even if it had gotten them… killed. Never to return.

It still hurt to think it. It seemed as though not long after she had been told her fiance was never returning, she had been told that her near-brother wasn't either. They couldn't find him. For heaven's sake, they couldn't even find Atem's body! They were sure he was dead—that was helpful—but they had lost his body. Lost it, of all things! She was beyond furious and hurt. Beyond any form of comfort. Everything hurt.

In short, she was a mess.

Every one had tried to console her: her mother, father, Atem's parents, Mahad's, her friends, and… suitors.

Yes, suitors.

As if she needed that! Just looking at them made her sick. Didn't they get that she had just lost her fiance, betrothed, and best friend all in one, and then her other best friend and brother? What was wrong with them?

Of course, she could answer that question with a thousand and one words, but she held her tongue. Instead, she ran. She ran as far away, and as fast, as she could. She had to get her mind off of home, off of anything that reminded her of two of the most important people in her life. Gone like the wind takes away the dandelion seeds. Gone like the rays of the sun at nightfall.

She just wanted to be alone. Unfortunately, Mana being Mana—young, pretty, grieving and available—that didn't seem possible.

"Leave me alone!" she screamed, the tears streaming in her eyes and down her face so she couldn't see. "Just go away, all of you! I don't want to see anyone! Leave me alone! Please!" the last statement was delivered in an explosion of sobs and chokes, full of venom and sadness.

Mana shoved the door to the inn closed behind her, shaking. She left a full room of men and reproachful women behind her, staring in silence. Emotions raged inside her like she had never felt before—rage, hatred, nausea, grief; none of them were good emotions. It felt as if she would explode, or maybe her heart had disintegrated to be replaced by a burning hot sack of molten lava: it hurt, it was hot, it made everything so clear and it burned everything it touched; it burned the surface of all it came close to, including her skin.

Or, maybe, there were a thousand needles puncturing every possible important organ inside her body.

An enormous rock—no, boulder—weighing down on her back, threatening to crush her in to a thousand pieces.

And then there was the simple explanation: she was alone. Grieving. Angry at the world, at herself, and at anyone she came in contact with. She was a bomb ready to go off at the slightest disturbance, and that bomb had finally cracked and exploded. Somehow, that felt good.

Disregarding her dress, she swung into the saddle of a horse and wheeled him around rather roughly. At a kick, the horse sped off, out of her home, away from the people. No one tried to stop her. If they had, they would have regretted it.

Mana didn't know how long she rode, or where she was going, but it seemed like the landscape slid by as if it were on a projector. She was watching it from a distance, as if they were simply pictures where she had been instead of where she currently was—experiencing it. Instead, she watched it go by like every day seemed to go by. Sliding. Slipping. They were slippery things, days. She didn't seem to have a grasp on them. They simply slid past her, wet as rain and intangible as smoke.

Why couldn't she get a grip on reality? Was she traumatized? Lost? Alone, afraid… all of the above? It was probably the later. There were so many words she could use, and yet none came.

When she stopped riding, it took her a long painful moment to realize where she was. It was the river where Atem had proposed, the river where she, Atem and Mahad had played as children. Why had she come here? What was she thinking? Now a whole new world of pain had invited itself in.

Mana closed her eyes, biting her lip. She took a breath and held it, praying that somehow she could go back in time to the days when they had been here. With her.

Opening her eyes, nothing had changed. The water gurgled by quietly, as if letting her grieve. The tree-tops overhead shaded her in protection, hiding her from the world for a time.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and sat at the base of the huge tree she and Atem had eaten dinner under—the tree that she had climbed when they were younger, only to have the two boys chase her from it by following her up, up, up, until she had to jump in to the water to avoid them. They had followed, and the chase continued.

Her knees went to her chest, hugging them close so that she curled up in a ball. Making oneself smaller seemed to be a natural reaction—like one could really hide themselves by seeming tinier than they were. It was comforting anyway.

She set her chin on her knees, blinking. Just sat there, staring out over the land and remembering her friends. It helped. Instead of thinking of them gone, she thought of them when they were at their best: with her, playful and easy.

Nostalgia was always the result of loss. Always. Why wouldn't it be?

"I miss you, Atem," she whispered. The salt-water tears, large as raindrops, fell down in trails and her chin quivered. "I miss you, Mahad. Why won't you come home? What went wrong?"

And that was the question, wasn't it? What had gone wrong? Both of them had promised they would return. They kept their promises, no questions asked.

So why had this one gone wrong?

She sighed and closed her eyes. She didn't even realize she had fallen asleep until it got cold. She awoke to a chilly breeze, and was hit with another realization that it was dark. The only light was that of the stars, moon and the occasional firefly. The horse had fallen asleep on its feet not far away. Quickly, she shook off the drowsiness and hauled herself to her feet to wake the horse. He was reluctant to move, but Mana was persistent, and they were trotting towards home in no time.

She was in no hurry to arrive. Returning late in to the night was of no concern to her. What did it matter? She shrugged. It didn't.

Now that she'd had some time to herself, she found that all she felt was numbness. Undoubtedly, the waves of grief and tears would continue, but for now she felt nothing. That was better, she supposed. The pain she had felt earlier was unbearable.

Mana rubbed her throat. She was thirty, her throat dry from crying and sitting and riding without water for hours. She was hungry too, but that was unimportant. The thirst was unimportant, too, she realized, and decided that nothing was important. Atem and Mahad were gone. Nothing was important right now. Maybe nothing ever would be. What did she care?

Don't think like that, she thought in horror, suddenly jabbed painfully at her carelessness. They wouldn't want you to think like that! You've got to be strong, for you and for them! Don't give up now, baby, or…

Or what? She blinked. Or what? What would happen if she gave up and didn't do anything for a while? What was the harm in that?

No, of course… it would hurt her family and her friends. They were already in pain at the loss, and with Mana in pain, that hurt them too. That would have to be the reason she was still standing and fighting: for them. Her family. Atem's family. Mahad's family. Her friends, their friends, everyone. It wouldn't do her any good to mope about in grief for the rest of her life. She had to make a living for herself.

But she would never find love like that again. That she was sure of.

Oh, Atem… she thought, swallowing a sob. Why did you leave me?

Anevay: I know, a pointless/depressing/filler Mana chapter, but I liked writing it because… well, it's sad, and I like writing sad stuff… what's wrong with that?

Ally: Many things, my friend, many things.

Anevay: Oh, shut it. What do you know? You know what, don't answer that. T&R!

Reviewers: SerenePanic, Cometflight525, Chistarpax, RedRosePetal, & muviri!

Anevay: I'll just answer most of you as a whole. Thanks for all the compliments, despite my not-so-well-written chapter! You guys are great! Cometflight525, you should check out The Mentalist! It's awesome! Chistarpax and RedRosePetal, thanks for pointing out my mistakes! ^O^ thanks much guys! Glad you enjoyed it anyway X)

Ally: So, you know what I'm going to ask, and it may seem redundant, but yes, I'll ask anyway. After all, it's so simple. All you have to do is click that button down there… yes, that one… and type a few words about what you think. So simple it's almost ridiculous. So, REVIEW! XD

-Ally and Anevay

(Ally: Ha!)

(Anevay: Hey!)

-Anevay and Ally

(Ally: darn.)