Izzy did not sleep well that night. It seemed like all time had stood still when she saw Felix again. There was a time she thought that she would never see him again or anyone one else she loved for that matter. It was always an easy rhythm to be by Felix's side again and try to go back. She knew however that the war had changed them both and they would never be the innocent children of the island again. She listened to the quiet of PEI. All she could hear was the sound of Cecily's steady breathing. Soon, she drifted off into a dreamless world. Dreams were not a pleasant experience anymore. The mind seemed to remember too many things she wished to forget.
The next morning, Izzy could feel the sunlight on her face. She opened her eyes to an empty bedroom. Cecily's bed was made as if she weren't there at all during the night. Izzy rose and crossed the room to look out the window. King Farm had always been a refuge of her youth. A place where she could feel protected and included. She could not spend the whole morning in the past, so she found her Navy with white day dress.
She entered an almost completely empty kitchen. Janet was putting away a few dishes and turned to greet Izzy with a smile but a worried face. "Oh, Izzy. I am so glad you are awake."
"Where is Cecily, why didn't she wake me?" Izzy asked.
"Well, there has been . . . Cecily was called into the telegraph office early this morning. It seems that Dora O'Riley nee Keith is ill. Mrs. Lynde is tending to her and Cecily went in to replace her at the office. Alec and Daniel are over at the Miller's Farm, something about a horse foaling in the middle of winter for goodness sake. Felicity is still not well and Hetty shouldn't be doing any lifting. Olivia has taken it into her head that she needs to leave this morning to return to England, so I am off to get her and the children packed and sent. I wish you could have seen her before they left. She always adored you Izzy."
"She will always have a special place in my heart for making my first dress and seeing me as a lady." Izzy said with a small smile.
"I hate to ask this of you," Janet said as she nervously touched her fingers to her hair.
"Anything Mrs. King, you know that." Izzy said this with full honesty.
"Well, Felix is still upstairs sleeping. Could you please just stay here and be here when he gets up. I was supposed to take him to see Dr. Snow at 1:00, but I will have to call and cancel that."
"I am a nurse Mrs. King and am fully capable of transporting Felix to Dr. Snow's office."
"Oh, thank-you Izzy. We have always been able to count on you; the cutter is in the barn. With just the two of you will only need to hook up Lady. Breakfast is on the stove and I will put water on for tea before I leave."
"I am also perfectly able to make myself tea. Please go before you change your mind. We will be fine." Izzy said it, although she didn't know how true the statement was as it applied to her and Felix. Having people around seemed to offer a buffer, but God would provide something. She could see through Janet's façade of a smile. There was a mother's worry going on in her mind. Izzy couldn't tell if Janet's anxiousness was about leaving her just returned from combat son behind or about the fact that she left him in Izzy's hands alone.
"Oh, I should go." She hugged Izzy and headed for the door.
"Do not worry and be careful." Izzy heard the back door shut and turned her attention to making a fresh pot of tea. She then sat down and poured herself a fresh cup. The King kitchen smelled of gingerbread and vanilla. It brought back memories of being in this kitchen countless times before enjoying the fruits of the King's culinary labors. Even Felix had fixed her a perfect dinner here after the bachelor auction. She lifted the cup to her lips only to drop it at the sound of a loud, petrified scream. It was familiar and unrecognizable at the same time. The cup broke, but she flew up the stairs and toward Felix's room. When she opened the door she could see him thrashing about in his bed. "Elbert, we are going home. Get, up we are going home! Help!" The terror in his voice frightened Izzy and she put her arms around his shoulders, carefully trying to steady him.
"Felix, wake-up. Felix, you are home now. Wake-up now." Izzy had a hard time controlling him, but she knew that his injuries would be worsened if he didn't stop moving around like an animal in too small of a cage.
Suddenly, his eyes opened and he looked at her. She thought he was going to speak, but he pushed her away and turned his eyes from her. "Get out."
"Felix, it is me, Izzy. You were having a nightmare." Izzy tried to say it loudly, but it still came out in a small whisper.
He whispered his answer. "I know who you are and I want you out."
"Well, that is too bad Mr. King, because I am not going anywhere. I need to check to make sure you haven't injured yourself further." She began to inspect his arm and he pulled it away.
"Don't you understand? I don't want you to see me like this. I thought they were over." He was embarrassed by his display of terror.
"Well, I have been back a lot longer than you and mine aren't over. I suspect it will take you time and space to truly heal from the trauma. Don't be conceited enough to think you are the only one. My physical wounds were small, but I suffered just as much as the men at the front and I wasn't allowed a gun to protect myself." It did not come out the way she had hoped, but she couldn't take it back now. She released his arm and sat in a chair near the bed. It was time for her to turn her head in silence.
Felix reached to touch her arm. "I am sorry, Izzy, I never thought. I didn't know. I just didn't think it would
happen once I came home." Weakly, he leaned toward her and placed his forehead on her shoulder. "I am sorry."
Izzy didn't turn, but answered quietly. "I know, I know. We are all sorry and will be for years to come. This war didn't affect just you and me. It affected our parents, siblings and probably will someday affect our children."
Suddenly, a blush swept across Izzy's face and she pulled away from Felix's touch. "I really shouldn't be lecturing you Felix, please let me check your arm at least." She didn't make eye contact with him and the room was thick with uncomfortable air.
Felix nodded his head in agreement. Izzy had to look at him to see his response. She immediately went to inspect his arm. "How is the pain?"
"It doesn't hurt any more than before." Once she was close enough to touch he grabbed her by the arm. "It will be fine, Iz. The doctors would not have released me if it were that bad."
"You forget that you are talking to nurse who has seen patients released when the injuries were far from 'fine' as you say. That reminds me. You have an appointment with Doctor Snow. Now would be a good time for you to get dressed and eat."
"Izzy, I never scheduled an appointment with Dr. Snow."
"It is common procedure when the local doctor hears of a returning, injured soldier. He will check up and send a report back to the armed services office. Have you been fully released from service yet?"
"I, I um, I don't know Izzy. They sent me home, but with all the pain medication I have been on I have a hard time recalling the information they gave me in the hospital. I just wanted to come home." Felix gave her a pleading look and hoped she could guess that she was the main reason he had to get back home.
Izzy tried to give him a nonchalant smile, but failed miserably. She put her hand over his. He was still holding onto her shoulder. "Felix, we need to have you fully examined. Dr. Snow may have more information on your status and be able to give you medications or recommendation to improve your injuries." She carefully moved his hand from her shoulder to rest between both of her palms. "Felix, it isn't right for me to be here in your room alone with you. It isn't proper. Can you dress yourself and meet me in the kitchen?"
Felix was suddenly aware that he was dressed only in a night shirt and that Izzy was probably right. Truthfully he didn't care what was right and proper, but he would not deny her request. "Yes, of course, I will be right down."
It took longer than he thought it would to appear in the kitchen and he was unable to get his sling back on properly. "Well, I am at least dressed. Do you think you could adjust this for me?" He gave her a smile that said that he wanted rather than needed the help.
"Of course, I have done this a few times. You will have to sit down. I cannot possibly reach up that far."
Felix moved toward the chair and descended slowly. Izzy quickly moved and adjusted the sling. "How is the pain now?"
"It is a little worse than yesterday." Felix said this with honesty and searched her eyes to see if she responded to the touch between them as much as he had. He was not disappointed by the momentary reaction he saw in her eyes. She covered for it quickly.
"You will work through the pain. Feeling pain is better than feeling nothing."
"I have learned that." He grabbed her hand and pulled her down in the chair next to him. "Have you?"
Izzy tensed. "I feel many things Felix, but that doesn't mean I have to act on them. Growing up makes decision making harder. You are responsible for others as well as yourself. "
"That is a very pretty away to avoid telling me how you feel." Felix challenged her more than he had intended.
"I feel that you need to eat and we need to leave in order to get to Dr. Snow's on time. It is after 11:00." Izzy rose to gather up the food that Janet left for them both.
"You win for now Izzy, but at some point before you return home, we need to talk about us." The inflection in his voice was impossible to miss. There was optimism behind his pain.
"Felix, can we agree to spend the next hour discussing anything else and I promise I will be able to fulfill your request before I return to Halifax." Izzy smiled and Felix relaxed. They spent the next hour talking about their childhood adventures and left the war behind them.
Izzy successfully hitched up Lady and transported Felix safely to Dr. Snow's office. The atmosphere between them had relaxed and they enjoyed the ride together.