NOTE: For those who don't know, "DDR" is Dance Dance Revolution. Newport Harbor is a Laguna Beach-type show, only much stupider, on MTV. All the names mentioned by Kelly are characters from that show.

SCENE 5

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM. DAY.

ANGELA, PAM, KELLY, PHYLLIS, and MEREDITH are seated around the table.

ANGELA
Why do we even have to be here? We're not having a party.

KELLY
Because Michael said that we had to make the office cool, and which other committee is going to do that?

ANGELA
In that case, Kelly, I'm appointing you the head of the newly formed Office Cool-Making Committee, which will be composed of you, Pam, Meredith, and Phyllis. Congruently, I will be resigning from the Office Cool-Making Committee.

She abruptly leaves the room. KELLY puts on the biggest smile we've ever seen.

TALKING HEAD – KELLY

KELLY
This is awesome! I have so many ideas! First, we're going to put an aroma bar in the break room, and then we're going to put a giant big-screen TV over the reception desk so we can watch Newport Harbor, and then we're going to put a DDR machine over where Toby sits, and then —

TALKING HEAD – ANGELA

ANGELA
After bolting out of the conference room and informing everybody of her plans, Kelly was immediately fired from her post as head of the Office Cool-Making Committee, and Michael took her place. Unfortunately, she maintains her position in customer service.

TALKING HEAD – KELLY

KELLY is in tears.

KELLY
Michael is a jerk! He's even worse than Chase, even though Michael never did anything like flirting with Allie and Taylor at the same time, or hooking up with Chrissy behind Clay's back, or being the enemy of a hottie like Grant, but —

END TALKING HEAD

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM. DAY.

PAM
It just isn't a good idea, Michael.

MICHAEL
Oh, come on! It'll be awesome! It's just like the stuff we used to do in high school!

PHYLLIS
But we never did that in high school.

MICHAEL
Oh, how would you know, Phyl-lis? You weren't part of the cool crowd.

PHYLLIS glares at him.

MEREDITH
But, Michael, this kind of thing could get everyone here into a lot of trouble.

MICHAEL
Well, you know what? Trouble should be our new middle name. Dunder Trouble Mifflin. It'll be perfect.

PHYLLIS
Michael, you don't understand. Laurie wouldn't be interested in this.

MICHAEL
Oh, I bet she acts all sweet and innocent around you, but once we get her here, she'll let loose and prove you wrong. She'll be asking, "Hey, why don't we do this? It'll be fun!" That's exactly what she'll ask! You hear me, Phyllis? You'll be wrong! Now get moving!

He storms out of the conference room and slams the door.

MEREDITH
So . . . should we do it?

A hesitation before all three of the women shudder.

TALKING HEAD – PHYLLIS

PHYLLIS
Um . . . I'd rather not say.

TALKING HEAD – PAM

PAM
It's not important.

TALKING HEAD – MEREDITH

MEREDITH
The less you know, the happier you'll be.

TALKING HEAD – MICHAEL

MICHAEL
It really wasn't that . . . oh, forget it.

END TALKING HEAD