Saturday couldn't have come fast enough for the Doctor. As soon as his alarm went off, he immediately got into the shower and started thinking about seeing Clara. He needed to win her trust again and prove to her that he wasn't the man she thought he was, but he had no idea how he was going to do that. He also needed to remind himself that this wasn't a date and that Clara had made it very clear she didn't want that from him. However, he really hoped he could change her mind and that maybe in time she would be able to give him a little more. He got dressed and made his way to the coffee shop, arriving a little earlier than they had planned so he grabbed each of them a coffee and some scones and decided to wait for her outside on the bench in front of the café. He didn't have to wait long when he saw her crossing the street. She looked as lovely as she always did and he couldn't help but think of how much of an idiot he was for destroying what they had.
"Hey," she said as she approached him.
"Hi," he answered as he stood and handed her a coffee.
"What's this?"
"Coffee."
She smiled at him, "Obviously, but why are you not inside?"
"It's a nice day and I thought that maybe we could walk to Telegraph Hill."
"That sounds nice," she answered as they started walking, "I haven't been there since I started living here."
"But you've been before?"
"Yeah, when I was a kid. My parents and Gran used to take me there to play. There was this giant slide that they would have to drag me away from at the end of the day."
The Doctor chuckled at the image of a tiny stubborn Clara. "Well maybe we can find the slide and you can see if it's still as much fun as you remember."
"I imagine it won't seem so big to me now."
"No probably not." He smiled.
The two continued their walk to the park, chatting mostly about the unseasonably nice weather they had been having and sometimes just walking in silence. The Doctor was glad that he was carrying his coffee and the bag of scones because otherwise he would have been very tempted to slip his hand into hers, which he knew would have made her run in the opposite direction. He felt like whatever they were building towards he needed to tread lightly for fear of scaring Clara away.
They arrived at the park and found a bench at the top of the hill that overlooked the city. They sat and the Doctor offered her a scone, which she happily took.
"I wasn't sure what you might like, so opted for plain and blueberry," he said.
"Thanks," she said as she took the offered baked good. "Blueberry is actually my favourite, so good choice."
"Noted," he answered as he bit into the plain one.
"This is a really amazing view," Clara remarked. "I had no idea you would be able to see the London Eye from here."
"Me either. You ever been on it?" The Doctor asked.
"Nah, always seemed kind of touristy. What about you?"
"Once, when I was here for a conference. I don't think you're missing much."
"Did you come to London much when you lived in Glasgow?" Clara asked, curious of just how well he knew the city.
"Not often. Sometimes there might be a band I wanted to see that wasn't coming up to Scotland, so I'd come down."
"So you don't know London very well?"
"No, just the area around here and where I used to live."
"You should take one of those bus tours." Clara recommended. "I've often thought about doing one just to see if I can learn something new about the city I grew up in."
"That's not a bad idea. We should do that." Doctor said, not really thinking about the fact that he just included her in the plan. "I bet the city has changed a bit since you've been gone on your travels."
"Perhaps," she answered.
The Doctor wasn't sure if she was saying perhaps to the city changing or perhaps to going on a bus tour. For now he decided to just drop the subject and move on to something else.
"How was work this week?" He asked.
"Good." She answered unsure if she should bring up James or not.
"You spoke very highly of your boss when we met last week, you still shadowing her?" He asked, curious to find out more about her work and just how much contact she might have with his brother.
"Well actually she's given me my own campaign to work on," she answered hesitantly.
"That's great!" He answered, enthusiastically. "What's the campaign?"
She paused for a moment before she replied, "It's your brother's company."
The Doctor couldn't help the bit of rage he started to feel at hearing her mention his twin, but he knew he couldn't show it to her.
"Oh," he simply answered.
Clara tried to gauge his reaction and wasn't sure what was going through his head, so she thought maybe she'd tell him more about it.
"I actually spent the day with him on Monday touring his factory."
"Alone?" His rage was growing.
"Well he had a driver and there were people around, but for the most part, yes alone." Clara answered wondering why it would matter if other people were with them or not. "Why?"
The Doctor took a couple of calming breaths. He didn't want to talk about his past, but at the same time he felt like he needed to warn Clara about James. When she had mentioned him last week, he thought that she would be with other people from her company and not working directly with him. He also didn't want to start an argument with her and he knew that would likely happen if he said what he really wanted to say, which was for her to stay away from him.
"Just be careful around him."
Why on Earth would she need to be careful around someone as sweet and nice as James? What happened to these two for the Doctor to think she was in danger with his brother?
"Why?" She asked.
Of course she wouldn't leave it at that. "You just don't know him the way I do." The Doctor replied.
"No offence, but you don't know him either. It's been over thirty years, Doctor; people change."
She was right in that he didn't know his brother now, but what he did know of him was enough for him to not ever want to speak to him again. He was more than certain that James hadn't changed and was more than likely the same person he was when he left Scotland.
"Not James."
"What did he do?" Clara asked, unable to hold back her questioning.
"I don't want to talk about it." The Doctor said as he stood and walked over to a bin to toss his garbage into it. "Just try not to fall for whatever image he wants you to believe he is. Trust me, whoever you think he is, he's not."
Clara stood up and walked over to him. "Aren't you the least bit curious to see him?"
"I don't need to see him Clara. He looks exactly like me."
"That's not what I meant. He's your brother, your twin for crying out loud." She was beginning to get frustrated with him. "I would have given my right arm to have a sibling and here you are with one, but you don't want anything to do with him."
"Clara, you just don't understand."
"Then help me to understand."
He looked at her and could see that she was desperate to know what happened, but he had never told anyone and he wasn't sure if he could tell her. He wanted to. He knew it would help her to trust him again, but it was a secret that he had lived with for most of his life and he had worked hard at burying it. He couldn't let it surface again and most of all if she knew the truth, she would likely think very differently of him. He had just gotten her back into his life and he didn't want to ruin it a second time.
"I can't."
This man was infuriating. How was she supposed to trust him again if he wouldn't open up to her?
"John," she used his name hoping that he would understand how serious she was, "I want to trust you again, but I can't if you don't let me in."
"Please, Clara, can you just drop it for now? I want to be open with you, but I have been closed off most of my life. I can't just flip a switch and have everything come pouring out."
She could see the torment he was going through and decided that for now she would stop pushing him.
"Okay, sorry," she apologised.
"Thank you," he sighed, relieved that it looked like she was going to stop, at least for now. "I really do want to tell you Clara, but I need to work up to it."
"Okay." She decided they needed to change the subject and get back to the pleasant morning they were having. "Want to walk around for a bit?"
"That would be nice."
The two walked around the park, looking at the various flowers and plants they came across and Clara would occasionally snap some pictures with her mobile. The Doctor asked her if she liked taking photos and she told him she did. It was an interest that he had as well, so they talked about the different cameras they owned and what kind of photos they liked to take. Clara was quickly realising that there was a lot she didn't know about this man, a man she thought she knew very well. However, if she really thought about her time with him, all she knew was that he had travelled, loved music and shared similar views on politics. Most of their time together had been spent talking about her course when he was her teacher, or flirting and shagging. It was nice to finally be learning more about him and the things that he was interested in, despite him not wanting to open up about his past.
"Why don't we go on a photo expedition next Saturday?" Clara suggested.
"Really?" The Doctor said, surprised and excited that she wanted to see him again.
"Yeah, I haven't gone out exploring in quite some time. It would also be a good way for you to see another part of the city."
"What did you have in mind?" He asked.
"Why don't we go to Regent's Park?"
"I'd like that." He answered.
"Great," Clara replied, but then her mobile rang before she could finish her sentence. She looked at it and saw that it was James. What could he possibly want on a Saturday?
"Do you need to answer that?" he asked.
"I should. Can you excuse me a minute?" She walked off giving herself some distance.
"Hello," she said.
"Hi," James said, "I hope I'm not bothering you?"
"No, not at all," she answered as she looked at the Doctor who was taking some pictures of a nearby statue with his mobile. "What can I do for you?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to meet me for ice cream this afternoon."
"I'm sorry, what?" She said confused. Was he asking her on a date?
"Sorry, I just realised how that sounded. What I meant was that I haven't had you try my ice cream yet and I was wondering if you wanted to sample some new flavours I'm testing out today."
"Oh, well I have actually tried your ice cream, but I would be interested in doing a taste test." Spending some time with James aside from work might be a good way to see if she could get to know him better and find out if he'd admit to having a brother.
"Great. I'll send a car to bring you to my office, if that's okay?"
"Sure. What time?"
"3, okay?"
"Yeah, sounds good." She said her good bye and then joined the Doctor again.
"Everything okay?" He asked.
"Yeah, it's fine," she didn't want to tell him who it was. "Just my dad."
They continued their walk and their discussion about photography, until Clara realised that she needed to get home to give herself time to get ready before James' car picked her up. They exited the park and started walking in the direction of Clara's flat, but once they got to a street a couple of blocks away from her place, the Doctor stopped.
"This is me," he said as he pointed to a building behind him. He was nervous to let Clara see just how close his place was to hers because he didn't want her to think that was the reason he chose it.
"You weren't kidding when you said you were close."
"Aye, sorry."
"Why are you apologising?" She asked, confused.
"I don't want you to feel that I'm invading your space. I had a realtor show me some places closer to the university, but when he showed me this, I just loved it. It was close enough for me to walk, but far enough away to not have that many students around. I had no idea that it was just down the street from yours until after I moved in." He explained.
"It's okay, Doctor. I didn't think you chose this place because of me."
It was the truth, he had no idea how close it was to Clara's until after, but what he didn't tell her was that he chose it because the flat reminded him of her. He couldn't pin point exactly what it was about it, but as soon as he walked in, he had thought of her. Maybe it was because it was a similar building to Clara's, and the layout, although different, felt similar.
"So next Saturday then," he said changing the subject.
"Yes," she answered and debated as to if she should tell him to meet her at her flat or somewhere else. "Why don't we meet at Brockley station at nine?"
"Okay," he wanted more than anything to give her a hug goodbye, but knew it was way too soon for that. Instead he moved towards his door. "See you then."
"I'll bring the coffee and scones this time." She yelled back to him as she started walking away.
"Deal," he yelled back.
Clara continued home and couldn't help the small grin that appeared on her face. She enjoyed her time with the Doctor. However, she could tell that there was still this sadness about him and she wasn't sure if it was because of her, or the fact that she was bringing up things about his past that he wanted to forget. Just what those things were, she couldn't guess, but perhaps after today she might be able to get more insight into James and what could have happened.