Kammy: Good heavens sire, are you sure you're feeling up to questions today?

Bowser: Yea, yea, 'mfine.

Kammy: His Highness has been feeling a little tired today.

Bowser: No I haven't. I'm fine, just shut up about it.

Kammy: *whispers* His Routyness was up all night playing video games.

Bowser: I WAS NOT!!

Kammy: Oh you're so child-like, sire. *grins*

Bowser: Stop makin' me sound so lame! I was TRYIN' to beat Roy in Guitar Hero and I can't help it if the kid practiced more than me. I got a lot on my plate!

Kammy: Of course Your Rockn'Rollness.

Bowser: Bahh. Shut up and read the questions!

Kammy: Which is it sire, shall I shut up, or shall I read?

Bowser: You know what I mean!!

Kammy:

"I know you want to answer everything so... here are 5 more. Starting with...

1. How many times did you use your fire breath on Mario & friends?

2. What is your favorite Bowser Minigame in Mario Party 7?

3. What is your final attack with Dark Bowser so he can be defeated in Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story?

4. Which Mario Party game did you like the least?

And finally: What is your favorite event in Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games & why did you like it?

Go on Bowser... answer away!"

-dragon19kyoshi

Bowser: What am I, your dog? I'll answer whenever I feel like it!

Kammy: Well you did sort of promise you'd answer every question…

Bowser: ….Fine. I don't know the EXACT number of times I've fried Spaghetti-Head. Prolly thousands. And Tunnel of Lava is my favorite. And what is this, a quiz? How the heck am I supposed to know my "final" attack?! I was so mad I started punching the guy and he exploded! And I don't like any of the Mario Parties, which is why I try to wreck them as much as I can. Seriously, any party labeled after Mustachio-brains can't be a fun one. And my favorite event? Hmm……I like the hammer throw. I get to show off all my crazy awesome muscles and throwing skills. Heh heh.

Kammy: And most impressive you are, sire.

"Dear BowziE,

HAHA, its funny how tragic your life, always being thrawted by plumers, I could not help but ask you a question or two,

Have you ever gone to jail, you know theres a little crime out the called rape!

and if you did go the jail, did you drop the soap"

signed
Kane

Bowser: BOWZIE? I'm not a GIRL you know!!

Kammy: Heh heh, I think it's rather cute, sire.

Bowser: CUTE? Are you waiting for a punch in the gut, haggy?

Kammy: Erm….n-no, Your Not-Cuteness.

Bowser: And the tragedies of my life aren't funny!! And no I've never gone to jail!! I don't…I'm not….who do you people think I am?! A convict?!

Kammy: One could only surmise, sire…

Bowser: This is weird. Read the next question Kammy, before I hurl or somethin'.

Kammy: Yes, Your Nauseas-ness!

"Why exctly are you doing this question thing? Did you lose a bet? Or did Kammy just convince you to do it?

-LOTW

Bowser: I'm wonderin' the same thing myself actually…

Kammy: His Highness didn't lose any bets. He just wants to answer the unknown.

Bowser: Eh?! No I don't. I don't even remember saying I wanted to do this at all.

Kammy: O-of course you did, sire. *looks around nervously* This was your idea.

Bowser: Doesn't sound like an idea I'd come up with…

Kammy: Er, moving on!!

"Hello, your lordship.

1. Have you and your children ever sat down together and had a conversation that didn't end (or start) with punishments or hate being spewed?

2. What is the song you hate the most?

3. CAN you believe its not butter?

Bye."

-Warets

Bowser: Hey, my kids might bicker, and I might bicker WITH my kids, but nobody hates each other. I mean, realistically when you're livin' with 8 people all different ages with all different interests, it can get pretty ugly sometimes. It happens.

Kammy: Certainly. You'd have to be crazy NOT to let it bother you at one point.

Bowser: Er…I guess. And songs? I don't really listen to much music…

Kammy: You really don't get out much, do you Your Highness?

Bowser: I don't have the time! All I hear is that racket my kids put on in their rooms. I know one of 'em listens to that robot sounding stuff.

Kammy: Techno, sire.

Bowser: Yea, and Wendy listens to that pop and hip hop crap...and those…boy band things. All the girls go crazy for those.

Kammy: They are quite "delicious" as Wendy puts it, sire.

Bowser: Uh…Ludwig listens to that classical stuff. Then there's Larry….I don't know what the heck he listens to. Somebody has that noisy grunge garbage on all the time.

Kammy: Certainly gets to be very noisy, sire.

Bowser: You know, I dunno. I guess. I don't like that stuff with the hard bass. I got enough of a headache as it is. I don't need to hear BOOM BOOM BOOM every 5 seconds, shakin' the hell outta my castle.

Kammy: Oh my, poor sire.

Bowser: And CAN I believe it's not butter? No. I can't. Next question.

Kammy: Right!

"I have more questions for you!

1) Why are there two seperate Bowsers? (One's alive and the other's Dry Bowser) And if it's magic then where the hell did you get the bones?

2) In New Super Mario Bros. Wii you got your ** handed to you by Green Stache and two toads. How does that make you feel?

3) How you do feel about being in the bottom teir In Super Smash Bros Brawl? (In case you don't know, a teir is a rank system and you are at the bottom.)

4) Think you're a better villain than Ganondorf? You know the guy in Super Smash Bros Brawl who shot you with a Dark Gun and turned you into a trophy.

5) How do you feel about The Shroom Guy? Give me an honest answer!"

-The Shroom Guy

Bowser: Back for more, eh, Shroomie? Well the other me, the creepy bony me, was made outta magic in the lava. Kammy ordered the magikoopa to lace it, so instead of bringing me back to life, I'd just be a skeleton. In other words, the bones were mine. Kammy eventually had to uh…mix up somethin' to bring me back to life, since I didn't want to be a skeleton forever. But then I thought maybe it'd be a good idea to have a bony me runnin' around. So afterwards we just took apart some Dry Bones and used their bones to animate another me.

Kammy:It's kind of terrifying though. We keep the "creepy sire" in the dungeon.

Bowser: Yea, he's kind of creepy. But good to have. And Green Stache wouldn't be able to do anything if Mario wasn't always holding his hand. So that's what I feel. And being at the bottom ain't a bad thing. Means I'm the heaviest. THE HEAVIEST OUTTA ALL THEM LIGHT WEIGHTS, BWA HA HA!!

Kammy: I don't think His Highness understands the ranking system…

Bowser: And Gammondork? Seriously, this is the second time someone's brought him up, who is he again?

Kammy: Oh sire, did you hit your head again?

Bowser: No! I just don't remember anyone who ain't worth my time! *rubs at head and grumbles* But I did hit it this morning getting out of bed….

Kammy: Your lack of sleep combined with your daily concussions cannot be good for His Senile-ness.

Bowser: NOT SENILE!! And how do I FEEL about Shroom Guy? I don't. He asks weird questions.

Kammy:

"then how come dedede kicked your ** during subspace emissary,
and second are you a turtle or an armadillo?"

-taxidriver28

Bowser: He didn't.

Kammy: Sire is in denial.

Bowser: No I'm not. My leg hurt that day. I think I pulled it.

Kammy: You seemed in perfect condition to me-

Bowser: ENDOFSUBJECT!! And I'm neither! I'm a koopa! Thus why my name is Bowser Koopa. And my title. King of Koopas. Are we seeing some kind of pattern here, kid?

Kammy: Technically you're a sub-species of koopa. Dragonkoopa.

Bowser: Stop getting technical! Read something else, haggy!

Kammy: Aye-aye sire!

"I've got some questions for you, Your Highness!

1) In adventure tour of Mario and Sonic At The Olympic Winter Games, how do you feel about teaming up with Sonic's arch rival, Dr. Eggman?

2) Who's the second-in-command of your troop: Army Hammer Bro. (from Super Princess Peach), Kammy Koopa or Kamek?

3) If Mario and Luigi didn't existed, what would you do if you succeeded in taking over the Mushroom Kingdom?

4) I know this is a bit random but can you sing? A song called "Rule The World" by a British band called Take That seems to suit you well. Maybe you should sing this to Peach some day and try to swoon her.

5) And lastly, I've noticed that Mario keeps on fighting for Peach, no matter what, and when it comes to saving her and what world or area he's in, for him quitting's not an option. So maybe, try not to give in whenever you're fighting against Mario, have you ever tried faking your death or pretending to give up?

That is all. Can you please answer them?"
~Flower

Bowser: Well since you asked all nicely and stuff. And I don't really feel anything from Egghead. He's not really very diabolical. And he smells funny.

Kammy: Like hard boiled eggs….

Bowser: He smells like fart.

Kammy: Methane gases, sire. Goodness.

Bowser: Whatever. He smells like a nasty fart. And my second-in-command? Depends on what you're talkin' 'bout. Second-in-command of my throne is Kamek, if anything happens to me. If you mean my armies, Army Hammer Bro only commands the hammer bros. division. I got a lot of different troop divisions, mind you. And what would I do if I took over the Mushroom Kingdom? Uhm. I'd be extremely happy. And then I'd totally throw all of the toads into a pit of lava.

Kammy: Aw, don't be so cruel Your Wretchedness.

Bowser: Fine. I'll give 'em a chance to scramble first and THEN I'll hunt 'em down and throw them into the lava. BWA HA HA!!

Kammy: Oh sire, so nasty and vile as usual. *grins*

Bowser: And it's not the question of can I sing, but should I? I've tried to sing to Peachy before. I ain't the best. Ludwig tested me once. I think I'm tone deaf. Oh well. It's the thought that counts, right haggy?

Kammy: You could prepare the princess next time by bringing her a set of earplugs, sire.

Bowser: Shut up! I think it's endearing. And yea, Sauce-Face would even go to space and back. In fact, he HAS. He's relentless. All I ask is for Peach to give me a chance, and every single time I think we're gettin' somewhere, Noodles-for-brains comes up and ruins EVERYTHING. I don't ever pretend to give up. I gotta fight for my woman.

Kammy: So valiant, sire.

Bowser: He cheats. 'Least I'm an honest fighter.

Kammy: Erm….yea. Of course. Sire.

Bowser: What? I am!!

Kammy: This next question…oh my.

Bowser: Don't try to change the subject, haggy!

Kammy: Perhaps you'd better hear this one, sire.

"So, when are you planning to kidnap the princess again and take over the mushroom Kingdom? I'm booked until Friday, so I won't be available to defeat you before then :) "

-Mario

Bowser: WHAAAAT?! MARIO?! You didn't tell me HE was gonna write in!! That little mustachioed punk!!

Kammy: I didn't know he had a computer, sire.

Bowser: ….Well if he's booked until Friday we oughta attack the castle tomorrow.

Kammy: Sire! You're booked too! Doing this questionnaire!

Bowser: Aww…but…I…

Kammy: Oh please don't pout Your Vileness.

Bowser: I WASN'T!! I just thought I'd take advantage of the stupid Mushroom-Chomper-Face!

Kammy: Mushroom…Chomper…Face, sire?

Bowser: …..*grumbles and crosses arms*

Kammy: Sire, you can kidnap the princess anytime. You promised to do this. You have other affairs besides kidnapping and wreaking havoc on the Mushroom Kingdom!

Bowser: *sighs* I GUESS. But kidnapping and wreaking havoc is a lot more fun…

Kammy: Cheer up, sire! *pats his leg* It'll be loads of fun next week! Shall we tell your fans the good news?

Bowser: What news? Oh. Right. Uh. My kids are really curious about this…thing I'm doing. And a few of 'em wanted to come on and try their hand at answering stuff. And I guess just hang out and see what I'm doin'. BUT I AIN'T BRINGIN' 'EM ALL ON AT ONCE!! I SERIOUSLY don't want a headache that early in the day.

Kammy: So which koopaling will you pick first, sire?

Bowser: I don't know. Jr. will cry if I don't pick him first, prolly…

Kammy: I'd hate to see him cry, sire.

Bowser: So do I. It's annoying as hell.

Kammy: Well fans, you've heard it for yourselves, prepare yourself for a special guest! Bowser's 8th son, Junior will be joining us next time, so maybe you'd like to prepare a few questions for the lil' guy too, eh?