Witchy Worry, Part 6

"Okay, sweetie. You're home now," The sugary blonde placed Salem on the porch and stroked his head before her fingers made a detour behind his ears and under his chin.

"There is a serious shortage of this in my life," Salem thought. He purred and pushed his head into her hands before continuing the gesture around her calves.

"You're so affectionate," she giggled. "I'm going to tell Hilda to give you a big treat when she gets home." She checked her watch. "I need to get back. Promise me you'll be all right?"

Salem blinked at her and responded with an extra syrupy meow.

"Such a pretty kitty. You stay away from those naughty crows." Salem wondered how difficult it would be to switch his familiar services over to her as he watched her walk back to her car. He kept up his demeanor until the car left his view. "If I could shed this cat suit, I'd have you planning more than a turn with the can opener, baby."

A pretty girl was a nice distraction, but not the solution he needed. Salem wished for anything other than going back into the house just then. All he had to show for his effort were stray blades of grass in his coat, chlorine stink and frayed nerves. He put off going inside by trying to think of something else he could do.

"Hi Salem! How's Brina?"

"Chloe!"

Chloe stepped up the sidewalk with a covered soup crock and a small bouquet of green balloons. "I asked my mother to make her famous chicken gumbo. It's guaranteed to kick any sickness to the curb."

Salem eyed the balloons. "Are those for her, too?"

"Uh-huh! They're left over from Gem's birthday decorations. My mom asked me to bring along something green. I figured she wouldn't want asparagus."

Salem nearly cried from relief. "Honey, you have no idea how much I could kiss you right now!"

Chloe shrank away from jubilant Salem. "Uh, I'll take a rain check. No offense, but you're kind of smelly."

"That. Yeah. I ran into some unpleasantness earlier. I was just getting ready to take a bath, but Sabrina has it first."

"She's in the tub? Oh. I guess I should go then." Chloe turned to leave.

"You could leave the soup. I mean, you came all this way. I'll make sure she tries it and I know she'll love the balloons."

Chloe and Salem visited on the porch a few moments longer so that she could leave Sabrina's homework. Once she was gone, Salem victoriously strode into the kitchen with balloons for an extremely bloated Sabrina.

"Wow. When you sit around the kitchen, you really sit around the kitchen!"

"Stale, Salem. Very stale."

"I know. That joke predates Garfield. So, how're you holding up… the house?" Salem winked.

"Ha-ha. Please. This isn't as fun as it looks. Just get me down."

"As you wish." Salem released the balloons to Sabrina. "You can thank Chloe for those. I actually failed my mission."

"Oh? What happened?"

"Let's see… Gem Stone. Ruby. Squirrels. Crows. Dogs. Flying over town. Aerial attacks. Rough landing. A pretty girl. I wish I could say it was something out of a Disney/Bond crossover."

"Sounds like an interesting time. No details?"

"I'm not really in the mood. Maybe after some breakfast. Definitely after I get cleaned up."

"Coming right up. How do the balloons work?"

"Basically, it's gas in, gas out."

"That sounds unpleasant."

"It won't be one of your comelier moments."

Salem hopped on the counter and the kitchen table to open windows. "You don't have to worry about any judgment from me. I'm taking cover." He then placed a colander over his head and stepped into the hall. "Gimme ten seconds."

Sabrina looked at the balloons with dread. The worst cough syrup in the world would've been easier to face.

"All set! Let 'er rip!"

"Ugh." Sabrina untied the neck of a balloon and took a deep breath of helium. Nothing happened.

"What's the holdup? Etiquette?"

"It's not working," Sabrina squeaked then grabbed her mouth in surprise. "Am I missing something?"

"Keep trying!"

Sabrina sighed and took another hit from the balloon. Strange stirrings tickled under her skin; culminating in her abdomen. Her stomach swelled to the point it crowded the counters and reached the floor. She squirmed and twisted uncomfortably. "Unngnnh!"

"There's no embarrassment if no one's around! Just let it go!"

Sabrina had no choice in the matter. The gas found its own way to her most convenient exits and burst through both at once. A gas burner left burning on the stove ignited the methane component. In a violent fiery blast the gas left her and lit all the downstairs windows in a bright scorching flash.

No longer held aloft, Sabrina slumped on the kitchen floor amid the crumpled and singed remains of the tablecloth.

"Yikes," Salem poked his head in from the hallway. "If brimstone and Brussels sprouts made a baby, you just had it."

"Oooh," Sabrina leaned against the oven and coughed. She tried to catch her breath.

"You okay?"

"That was not fun."

"I got that vibe." Salem helped bundle more of the tablecloth around her. "Whaddya' say we reschedule breakfast? You need to lie down."

"The Witch World is in desperate need of cures which aren't worse than the illness."

"Therein lies the innovator's curse. The Witch Community places heavy value on tradition. That's why we're still using thousand-year-old treatments. Even if new ideas are better, they're a hard sell."

Sabrina picked herself up from the floor and dusted the soot from her coverings. She turned off the burner and followed Salem into the den before flopping heavily onto the sofa. Feeling helpless and sorry, Salem arranged himself on the back of the sofa and watched her ribs move with her breathing.

"If you're hungry, there is a crock of chicken chowder on the porch."

"Maybe in a little while. I'm wiped."

Salem watched her rest for a few more moments before instinct took over. He was more maternal than he cared to admit.

Softly, he extended a paw and kneaded gently along the top of her spine. Her muscles were tight and sore from being immobile and uncomfortable for so long. One paw turned to two. Soon, massaging Sabrina involved the whole cat.

"What are you doing?"

"The ancient art of neko ashiatsu."

"Hunnh?"

"Cat massage."

"You're weird."

"You're a little strange yourself, half witch."

He could tell she grinned, even lying face down. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Aren't I allowed to show concern?"

"You dismiss anything that doesn't involve you, that's all."

"Cut me some slack. I was scared."

"You? Of what?"

"Losing you."

"What?" Sabrina nearly dumped him on the floor when she turned over to look at him. "Losing as in dying? You said this was nothing."

Salem's feelings flashed through his golden eyes, leaving his gaze deep and soulful. "Brina, Witch Pox is common among witches, but half witches don't always come through it. Things go wrong. That gas could've killed you. The fever could've killed you. I don't know what those robbers would've done, but I'm sure it can't be nice." Salem paused and took a deep breath. "If I goof up," He shook his head. "If anything happens to you, I'd be assigned to someone else. Who knows where I'd go? I like it here, frankly. This dilapidated old shack suits me. The Spellman house isn't just a safehouse. It's a home and you're family."

Sabrina made a noise of disbelief. "Really."

"I'm not joking. Sometimes you're annoying, dramatic and needy, but you're very dear and precious to me. As far as I'm concerned, you're nearly my daughter. I can't imagine life without you in my hair. You'll never hear these words again, but I love you. There is absolutely no way I'm going to stand by and watch you leave this world if I can do anything to stop it."

"I had no idea."

"I know my behavior doesn't always convey that."

"True. You're not the noblest cat."

"Are any of us? The only noble cats I know of are the two lions sitting in front of the New York Public Library. Even Fortitude skips out on his alimony payments."

Sabrina laughed and Salem joined in with a chuckle as she folded her arms around him. He decided a hug wouldn't kill him and stifled his customary response to cuddling.

...

"What in the world is going on in this house?!"

Salem and Sabrina blinked before realizing they fell asleep on the sofa. Claws dug into Sabrina's chest in step with Salem's adrenaline. Uncle Quigley stood in front of the sofa with crossed arms and an angry glare.

"I stepped out to deal with an emergency at the lab and THIS is what I come home to? A trashed house and a young girl playing hooky for a toga party?"

"Quig, that's not at all what happened."

"Please enlighten me."

"Uncle Quigley, I stayed home sick and…"

"And the first I heard of it is a phone call from school. Go on."

"I'm sorry Uncle Quigley. We didn't know where you went. Salem tried to take care of me."

"This qualifies as care?"

"We had witch raiders," Salem cut in. "And…"

"Raiders! Well! I like that better than the ceiling gnome story."

"It's true! They even posed as Tim the Witch Smeller!"

"Did either of you think to call the police?"

"What we they going to do, Quig? They're WITCH raiders. That means magic required."

"No, it means you'll pick any excuse to use magic and do it completely without regard for anyone. You'd think you'd learn something by now."

"Please don't blame Salem, Uncle Quigley. He did his best to take care of me."

"I'm very disappointed! On top of failing to tell me you're sick, you had a lot of people worried about you! I thought you were kidnapped! You could've been hurt! I called the house, the police and the hospital looking for you!"

"Really? I never heard the phone ring."

"I found the kitchen phone off the hook."

Just as Sabrina and Salem looked at each other, a loud crack issued from the linen closet. Hilda and Zelda stepped in giggling jovially until they saw the house wrecked. "Let me guess. Ceiling gnomes?"

"No," Quigley's tone turned mocking. "Salem has a whole new story!"

"Oh for the love of..." Salem rubbed his eyes in frustration. "You know what? I'm not even going to bother. You've already made up your minds." Salem leapt from the sofa and took a few steps toward leaving the room. As he did so, Hilda burst with a familiar sneeze. A moth circled her head. Before anyone could bless her, she sneezed again. One moth became three.

"Uh-oh."

"Don't tell me!"

"Hill, you're all spotty," Zelda caught sight of her skin just as she reached for her sister's face. "And so am I!"

"It's a Witch Pox epidemic," Salem sighed. "A cat's work is never done."

"Excuse me? I'll tend to the girls. You're not getting out of this!"

"Now Quig, I know you're into the whole Florence Nightingale thing, but you know nothing about Witch Pox. You're better leaving this to the experienced."

"Is that so?" Quigley fished a slip of parchment from his pocket and unrolled it. "Is that why we have a Netherworld bill for twelve golden truffles, forty-eight foxtails, and a pickled ham?"

"What?! He's with Netherworld Permanente! I stayed in network! Oh, I am going to the Troll Board, now!"

"Your first stop is the utility closet. Until this mess is straightened up, you're both grounded… And there's no dinner until the kitchen is clean!" Quigley left the room and switched his attention to Hilda and Zelda's needs.

"Great. This is what the cat gets for doing the right thing. Thanks karma!"

"I know what you did."

Sabrina's voice gave him a start. Salem forgot she was still on the couch behind him. Her fingers fizzled for a few failed attempts, but she finally conjured a bowl of shrimp and flaked salmon.

"Aaaaaah," Salem nearly cried. "That's all I wanted!"

"I just want you to know, I'm grateful." Sabrina handed the bowl to him. The joy struck cat made several noises of appreciation as he stuffed his mouth full of food. Sabrina giggled. "Don't forget to breathe." Sabrina patted him lightly before zapping her tablecloth to sweats to start cleaning.

...

End.