THE LILLIAN INTERVIEWS
Chapter Six: Sei's Story: Penchant for Name Calling and Denials
Some three weeks before the Lillian interviews….
"Perhaps, I should have been a playwright like Duriru-chan is, right now."
"Well, with a penchant for name calling, Onee-sama, I bet you can get far."
She laughed at Shimako. The woman had a strange sense of dry humor in her. She is like a boomerang one throws heartily only to hit you right back doubly hard. The gift of dry wit and even perhaps light sarcasm may be something doctors tend to secretly develop to keep them from being too in love with their bedside manners.
"Comedy!" Sei amused herself and the once-upon-a time en bouton. She had always liked Shimako's golden curls. It had a kind of youthful Grace Kelly touch.
"Comedy. Tragedy. Are they not two sides of the same thing?"
"You've made me wonder, Shimako. You seem to be the type of person who would cry in a funny play and laugh in a tragic ending." Sei thought that Shimako was odd that way. "I could write a whole fictional character revolving around you."
They were sipping tea in what Yoshino has frequently called 'the village shodo room.' It really was just Shimako's little pantry in her Indonesian doctors' quarters.
"Onee-sama?" Sei could sense that the lovely woman across her was wanting to find a polite opening. It was an easy thing to detect because the young doctor took to a certain mannerism. Shimako would pause for effect.
"Yes, Shimako?"
"Do not get me wrong. I do like it when you are around. It gives me a feeling of the old days. It's just that…"
"You think I am not here because of you?" Sei said this in a manner that was half-joking with the other half equally endearing. Shimako cheeks lightly burned at her Onee-sama's statement. From time to time, Sei still had that kind of effect on Shimako. It was heartwarming. For both of them.
"I know that you are here because you want to see me, Onee-sama…" Sei was amused at this. Shimako was looking down on her hands like they were both in the Rose Mansion again. "But you are also here because of you."
"Ah, Shimako. Why do you worry for me?"
"I am not worried Onee-sama. Only curious." The younger woman paused again.
Then Shimako said something as if overtaken by a new kind of bravery. "Do you not see sometimes that there are people who carry worry for you far more than you worry about yourself? Like Youko-sama…"
Sei was surprised at Shimako's words. "Why? Do you not think I worry too?" The blonde said this with a pained expression. Not that it was because of Shimako. It was a kind of emptiness she felt and what seems like hopeless longing for Youko.
"Yes, Onee-sama. I know you worry too. But everytime you do, you run away. When Youko-sama worries, she lets you run away."
Before leaving for Indonesia, Sei had thought that Youko had given up on her. Because the trade lawyer did not argue when Sei said she as leaving for a few weeks. Youko did not give any hint of protest when Sei said they might both need the space. There were no empathic declarations like 'your honor, I object' or anything even remotely similar. Youko just looked at her leave. Perhaps this time because there were too many hellos and too many goodbyes, Sei was thinking Youko had made her choice. The choice was not Sei.
Sei wondered at Shimako's words again. When Youko-sama worries, she lets you run away. Sei remembered the time when Youko followed Shiori to the train station. Youko could have followed Sei. But she followed Shiori and confronted the other girl with questions. It must have been hard for her during that time. To choose between comforting Sei versus running after Shiori. Perhaps that was a kind of selflessness Youko, forever meddler and towerblock for the many, had. Like something a born leader would do. Youko always did the right thing. Will always continue to do the right thing. She allowed me to run away. Maybe it was the right thing to give up on her too.
***
Minako was chatting with Sei online.
editor-in-hiding: this is quite a first for me.
satoun_a_bike25: what's a first for you, my dear editor? you don't seem like the type who still gets to experience a lot of firsts! haha!
editor-in-hiding: quit it, satou-san. I am not as reckless or as adventuresome as most.
satoun_a_bike25: touché!
editor-in-hiding: you have never submitted manuscripts separately before. What's going on between you and youko-san?
satoun_a_bike25: we're travelling separately.
editor-in-hiding: what do you mean travelling separately?
satoun_a_bike25: you know when one rides a bus, the other rides a plane. when one rides a bike, probably the other one uses a glider.
editor-in-hiding: i know what travelling separately means, Satou-san!
satoun_a_bike25: you asked! plus I thought you were losing your editorial skills back there. thought I could help. :p
editor-in-hiding: yah. you're like a knight in shining armor!
satoun_a_bike25: aha, my editor has given me compliments! Compliments, compliments everyone!
editor-in-hiding: quit it, sei-san. you sound more like an annoying court jester now.
satoun_a_bike25: humbug. I shall trample you with my sword!
editor-in-hiding: your blunt sword. my editorial pen is mightier!
satoun_a_bike25: come to think of it, if you were mami-san, your pen might even kill! :p
editor-in-hiding: seriously sei-san. should I worry? about you and youko-san submitting separate manuscripts?
satoun_a_bike25: tell you what? If complications arise, have mami-san chase after us? The thought is scary.
***
Sometime November, twelve years and a half years ago at the Rose Mansion….
Before Sei decided to visit Youko in Cambridge, she initially thought it was more out of sheer curiosity than need. She was amused at the thought that maybe Yumi was right about her being a Cheshire cat. But would curiosity kill her too? During that time, she was just wanting to have fun. It never really occurred to her that she was actually chasing up on someone. She did not even care to admit herself when Sachiko and her had a conversation about a letter Youko sent.
"So how is your Onee-sama from across the miles, Sachiko?"
"When she wrote to me, she seemed happy. Excited even." Sachiko was getting this lightly perplexed look. It was as if she was trying to figure out a puzzle but without success. Yumi who was sitting beside the Ogasawara princess was equally wondering.
"Onee-sama, is it not common for Youko-sama to be, hmm, excited?" Yumi anyone could see was painting a picture with her face. It was always a joy for Sei to look at the future Rosa Chinensis.
"Oh Yumi-chan. Unlike you who is so excitable, Youko is really, how do I say this, intense. But excited? Wow, that can be something!" Sei offered to Yumi without wanting to look at Sachiko who momentarily was giving her dagger looks. Sachiko was protective of Youko that way. ( Even more so was Sachiko protective of Yumi. When Sei arrived at the Rose Mansion, she noticed that Sachiko nudged Yumi to sit beside her instead of the blonde. Sei had wanted to hug Yumi just to tease Sachiko but the raven-haired girl was fast! She took sweet Yumi-chan away.)
Yumi was again blushing. Sachiko smiled at her souer and patted the girl beside her gently on the head. Only to trail her hands on Yumi's ribboned hair. This was not lost to Sei who was looking at the red roses. They must have come to be really be close after the whole thing about Sachiko's grandmother.
"Perhaps, Sei-sama. You should write to Onee-sama. Your curiosity might be filled." Sachiko said this in her usual cool tone. Hers had a lingering tone of dare and a subtle hint of sarcasm that was not without elegance. Sachiko, it seems, is a master of this. But she learned it from another grand master. Youko.
"I wrote to Youko, actually. She has not written back. I wonder what's in Cambridge that is making her pre-occupied?"
Youko was the first recipient of a Cambridge admission after Lillian took a scholastic affiliation and partnership with the prestigious university. The partnership was part of Cambridge's global reach and Lillian's initiative to bring a more progressive world-class education to its students. Lillian adopts an AS level grading equivalent to the needed requirements for most elite universities worldwide.
When Youko, Eriko and Sei were encouraged to apply by Maki-sensei and Takeheshi-sensei as well, it was a surprise to her that Youko, once accepted, would push through with it. Eriko who also got accepted settled for University of Tokyo. Eriko just could not leave Japan as of yet. Sei, although accepted, had requested for a deferred entry on her applications. When she was informed that she passed, Sei took it light heartedly and was glad for the one year late entry plan.
"It seems she has met someone, Sei-sama."
Sei could hear Yumi's gasp. Sachiko was playing a game with her, it seems. What was the current Rosa Chinensis trying to do?
"Then, I'm glad for her. She has a whole new world to meddle."
Sei wanted to make it sound that she was relieved of Youko. But Sachiko somehow had an instinct that the blonde was bluffing her way through it all again. The raven-haired girl strongly remembered how the former Rosa Gigantea was noticeably silent after they said goodbyes to her Onee-sama at the airport one and a half months ago. Youko was bound for East England to study international trade law.
Sachiko and Rei were flying off to an Open Days invitation in Cambridge for two weeks in mid-December. They were also scheduled for admission interviews. Both of them, Sachiko offered saying, were just going through the motions of the application to please their respective parents and teachers. In truth, Sachiko had been vocal about staying put in Lillian. Shimako was offered an invitation because of her very promising grade levels. But Shimako had likewise been hesitant.
When Sei went back to her house that day after meeting with Sachiko and Yumi, she knew that she was lost about something.
Then she called Kei to again borrow her notes.
"Satou-san, the rent on the notes is high." Kei sounded a bit irritated but not overly so. They were fast becoming friends and Kei was pretty much forgiving of the blonde's antics.
"Then, Kei-san - why don't we go some far away place during the winter break? My treat." Sei had always managed to calm Kei down by appealing to their common joy. Travel is a form of escapism.
"Where to?"
"Say, Cambridge?" Sei despite knowing how much the other girl liked her, could not share this one precious secret. That Sei was missing Youko.
***
October. Twelve and a half years ago.
The night before Youko had to leave for Cambridge….
Sei picked up the guitar and started to sing a classic Beatles song. Blackbird. Rei tapping on a percussion block joined the older white rose in singing along.
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
After the light hearted song, Youko went up to Sei to kiss her in the cheek.
"Don't miss me too much, Sei."
***
Author's Notes:
Gokigenyou.
When one travels often and even unexpectedly, the only thing that stops is you at the moment of shock. Unplanned travelling gets to me in a sequence of mild anger, silent rebellion, overwhelming defeat, forced acceptance and lastly sad helplessness. But the world goes on spinning and moving along. It took me a while to post because beside from being engrossed about work, the whole concept of time makes one crazy. Everyone else is sleeping in your home hemisphere and you are , in another hemisphere , still awake. The sun only shines on certain parts of the world at a time. Perhaps this is what the Yamayuri experience in their travels. Fictional so it may seem. But in Maria-sama's planet, they are real.
I would like to answer a few questions posted by reviewers.
The age of Yamanobe's daughter. When Eriko visited Sei in the MSGM novel, Variety Gift, the former yellow rose did mention that Yamanobe made a request for Eriko to meet his daughter who at that time was in kindergarten. Give and take twelve years after Eriko's graduation, that would make Yamanobe-sensei's daughter at 17, if she was aged 5 at kindergarten.
Shimako's fast career rise in the medical profession. Shamazing pointed this out to me and I thank her for the observation. Without getting ahead of the story and without providing spoilers, let's just say Shimako's climb to a lucrative medical post is perhaps similar to that of Doogie Howser MD. I need not say more.
Reference Notes:
Duriru. A loan English word in Japanese for drill.
Shodo. Tea Ceremony.
Youko confronting Shiori at the train station. In Forest of Thorns, the Konno Oyuki tells us that Youko followed Shiori who stood up Sei on the train sation crushing Sei's plans of going away with Shiori. The young Rosa Chinensis en bouton extracted an explanation by making Shiori write a letter to Sei.
Cambridge academic year. The University of Cambridge starts the first academic term of the year in October (Michaelmas term). In Japan, schools normally start in April. This is essential in understanding time alignments between the novels and this fanfiction work. That's why it had been possible for Youko to attend the Summer Sports Festival, be present during the spring funeral of Sachiko's grandmother, watch Rei's kendo tournament with Sei and Eriko. All of which happened before she even started schooling in England. Further details will come to light as the story progresses.
Deferred Entry. The University of Cambridge allows and sometimes for certain colleges encourages deferred entries or late entries after a maximum of one year after getting an acceptance letter in the system. This is normally specified on application forms and discussed with an admissions tutor.
The Lillian-Cambridge partnership. Although it is true that Cambridge have international affiliates all over the world, most especially for practicum engagements, common sense would dictate that the Lillian affiliation is fictional.
Open Days. The University of Cambridge provides open house invitations, mostly on booking basis. Although they normally do this after the summer (July), in the context of this fanfiction work we had to align Open Days with Admission Interview or exams day in Cambridge, which usually runs from December to January.
Kei and the notebook rentals. In Variety Gift, Eriko upon visiting Sei in Lillian Girls Academy observed how Sei would borrow notes from Kei with Katou-san exclaiming that the "rental on the notes is high." Sei was seen by Eriko paying Kei through travel tickets. Eriko assumed that Sei was travelling with Kei at times.
Blackbird. A classic Beatles song. In the original song, a guitar is being played to accompany lead singer Paul Macartney. A percussion tapping is also heard. Another version is performed by Sarah McLachlan and included in the soundtrack of the film, I am Sam. I encourage you to listen to both songs and imagine how Sei and Rei could have sung it for Youko.
Thank you once again for all of you who have encouraged me to continue writing. Whether you travel much or not, whether near or far, allow me to wish you all safe and meaningful journeys.
Gokigenyou.