WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Ehh… Tyson's being a bit odd… And, erm…
A/N: I'm soooooo sorry for not updating this last Monday!! I know I've never officially said that this story will be updated every single Monday, but it just seemed to turn out that way. I try not to put a date on when stories will be updated, but sometimes I do say "oh, I'll update this again on…" and then I don't meet that date, which pisses me off as well as you, the readers. Anyhoo, yeah, I was super busy last week, and had planned to update on Friday, but that failed, too… Yeah. So I'm doing lots of updates today to make up for it :) Enjoy!
Chronicles Of Max
Chapter 6: I Shall Google All The Frog Porn I Want!
Monday 31st March '08 Continued
Biology
10.16 in the am
I left Mariam in the safety of Room 101's bathroom. I even gave her air freshener, which she accepted with raised eyebrows. I may have insulted her. Well, we don't want the entire room to reek, do we?
Today in Blodge… We are staring at a frog. It's still in it's container at the moment, because when Tala tried to take it out, it jumped at his face, and he nearly squashed it with his fist, which obviously angered Kai, the animal-loving freak. It's not a seahorse, but it's the closest thing he's seen to a seahorse and therefore loves it.
Or, he would love it, if any of us could take it out of the container thing without it leaping out our faces. I don't know why we couldn't study a dead frog. A live frog is so much harder to look at.
A minute later
Tyson's opened the container, and the frog is now leaping around the room. Why is it always us?! Everyone else's frogs are nice and calm, and they're studying the slimy green things without problems. But when it comes to us, we ALWAYS have issues!
5 minutes later
The teacher helped us catch the bloody frog, and it's now being held on the desk by Tyson.
"Does it have a penis? I want to see…" Tyson said, trying to turn the frog over.
"You sick bastard," Kai said.
"What? Surely it has a penis? It's natural to want to see other penises! The amount of times I've seen yours!"
"That's because I've been drunk and horny!"
"Still, I want to see it's penis!"
Why, why, WHY does every single conversation we have go into 'Rude' mode?!
10 minutes
Tyson just asked loudly to the teacher if frogs have penises. The poor teacher turned bright red and chose to ignore the question.
"I'm going to have to Google it…" Tyson muttered.
"You are not Googling a frog's penis, you beasty perv," Kai snapped.
"I have a laptop and I shall Google all the frog porn I want!"
"YOU DISGUSTING TWAT!"
"Mr. Hiwatari, can you please keep your voice down…" the teacher asked nervously.
Kai nodded but continued to glare at Tyson. I wonder what's got his goat today.
5 minutes later
"Tala…"
Oh God… Kai's got that tone in his voice that clearly says he wants something. Please don't let it be sex…
"Yes, my little chicken dipper?"
"Can I have a pet seahorse?"
"Where the fuck would you keep a seahorse?" Tala said, staring at his boyfriend.
"In the bath."
Tala continued to stare, so Kai stared back, and Tyson and I stared at them both. Well, actually, Tyson was staring at the frog.
"You are not having a seahorse," Tala said finally.
"Aww, but-" Kai started, pouting.
"Kaisy, how many times have we had this conversation, really?" Tala interrupted sternly.
"Loads," Kai mumbled, still pouting.
"Exactly. You will still not be allowed a seahorse, no matter how many times you ask."
Kai didn't reply, but sat there with his head hung, and his pout still clearly visible. Tyson was poking the frog in unmentionable places. He'd just better hope that Kai doesn't look up-
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO THAT FROG?!" Kai exploded.
He apparently looked up…
"I'M JUST SEEING IF IT HAS A PENIS!"
"STOP TOUCHING IT!"
I'm… Just going to rest my head on the table and wait for it all to be over.
3.30 in the pm
We've retreated back to Room 101, and luckily it doesn't smell in here. Tyson and Kai have finally stopped arguing. But only just.
"Mariam?" I called out.
Maybe she was still in the bathroom? Oh wait, no. There's a lump in my bed. It's moving… It's emerging… It's Mariam!!
"You OK?" I asked, giving her a cuddle.
"Getting there," she smiled. "I haven't had to shit for a while now, so that's good."
Tyson and Kai stared at her (Tala's buggered off into town).
"Too much information," Tyson said, and collapsed on his bed, rubbing his bump.
"Brooklyn still not around?" Mariam asked.
"Nope… I saw him briefly at lunch, but he just scowled at me," Tyson sighed.
"Miguel's been staring at you a lot today, y'know," I commented.
"Yeah, probably because he heard that there's a chance he might be the squiggle's Father," Kai piped up.
The squiggle?
"What the Hell do you mean by 'the squiggle', Kai?" Tyson frowned.
"Baby," Kai replied, shrugging his shoulders. "They tend to look like little squiggles when they're inside, y'know."
We just stared at him, and chose to ignore everything he said.
"Were classes good today?" Mariam asked me.
"When are classes ever good?" I replied.
"Good point."
"Tyson did get over-enthusiastic about a frog's penis in Biology, though."
"… I won't ask."
"I wouldn't."
"Yeah, Tyson… Just remember, I'll be watching your every internet move," Kai piped up again, scowling at El Pregnanto.
Tyson scowled back and gave him the finger. Kai looked as though he was about to eat Tyson, when there was a knock at the door. How I miss that horn… We all looked at each other, and then I tutted and rolled my peepers. Clearly, I was going to have to answer the bloody door.
A minute later
Tala is there.
Tala is holding a box.
Tala has dumped a load of cat things outside his and Kai's door.
There is mewing coming from inside the box Tala is holding.
No one inside Room 101 seems to have noticed that me and Tala have been stood here for the past minute staring at each other.
Nor have they noticed the cat noises.
30 seconds later
"Max, can you please let me in?" Tala asked finally.
"TALLLLLLLLL!" Kai yelled from inside the room, and shoved me out of the way.
Tala came inside the room, with Kai badgering him about the box, what's in the box, is it a magic box, and so on and so forth.
I guess I'LL shut the door, then…
5 minutes later
Me, Mariam and Tyson are still waiting to see what's in the bloody box. Though, I know it's a cat. I mean, Tala's not going to have gotten a load of cat stuff, and then bought Kai a seahorse, is he?
Is he?!
A minute later
Tala's still lecturing Kai about how it's an animal, and that it needs love, too, and that he's got to take care of it. Jesus Christ, Tala. Kai is 17 years old. I think he knows how to look after a cat…
A minute later
Tala has finished his lecture, and Kai's launched himself at the box. He's pulled out the CUTEST little grey kitten.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" Kai asked excitedly.
"A boy," Tala replied, smiling.
"I shall name him Bam," Kai said, cuddling the little kitten.
"Hey Kai… I can tell if it's a boy or girl for you," Tyson smirked.
"FUCK YOU, TYSON, YOU PERVERTED, FROG-FONDLING WEIRDO!"
A/N: And Bam makes an entrance!! I do actually have a grey cat myself… But she's female, and called Smudge XD BUT, I do have a grey rabbit, who is called Bam!
I'm sure you all know by now that I have a rabbit. If you don't, then you've clearly not been reading any of my author notes XD
My rabbit, Bam, is named after Bam Margera. Because Bam Margera is hot. A bit beardy, but hot. Bam the rabbit, though, is not hot. He's naughty. REALLY naughty.
Anyhoo, review? :)