A/N: Hey! Sorry I haven't been writing, and that my last one wasn't part of this series. I'm hella sick! My throat is perpetually closing and I'm on steroids for it and it's still not helping and they think it's my thyroid and I'm just... I'll be ok lol.

I'm not really aware of where I am most of the time, and I completely forgot what I even wrote in I Love You, Naruto Uzumaki, so if that tells you anything about my condition, then I hope you understand.

Don't feel worried about me, I have things like this all the time - I'll be ok. I just hope y'all forgive me for not posting as much as I'd like, whether it's due to school, work, or illness, I'm always hoping to write more.

Hope you enjoy this (very, very, pathetically tiny) work!

Naruto and Sasuke are a… quirky couple. How they settle their arguments is beyond their spectators. The students, as well as their colleagues, are so… worried, for their sanity. They're opposite sides to the same coin – how could they possibly make it work?

Well, it goes a little something like this.

The last bell of the day resounds throughout the halls, much to the students' delight. Naruto and Sasuke immediately make eye contact, questioning, waiting, daring.

Naruto takes off first, Sasuke shortly behind.

Naruto tries his best to squeeze through the large throng of students, but to no avail – there are just too many! He quickly surveys his surroundings in search of Sasuke, unable to locate him. His eyebrow twitches. He couldn't be gone already, could he?

Naruto is in the middle of revamping his efforts when he hears a commotion ahead of him.

"MOVE, I'M GAY!" Sasuke exclaims, shoving students off to the side as he makes his way through the hall.

"YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT, SASUKE! THAT'S NOT OKAY!" Naruto yells after him.

"SAYS THE LOSER!" Sasuke turns to blow a raspberry at him. Naruto's brows furrow.

"I'm not a LOSER!"

"Yes, you are!" Sasuke banters.

"No, I'm not!" Naruto lunges towards Sasuke and successfully snatches his tie.

"Oh, choke me harder daddy!" Sasuke says dramatically.

The sentence has its intended effect; Naruto quickly loosens his grip on the tie as Sasuke made a mad dash down the hall.

Naruto stands still, blinking, before he shakes his head and glares at where Sasuke went.

"HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Naruto calls after him.

"ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR!" Sasuke calls back.

Naruto rushes through the hall and takes an alternate path, one with a longer distance but less traffic. He reaches the main hall in record time, Sasuke hot on his tail. Sasuke narrows his eyes, there's no way in hell Uzumaki's winning tonight.

Sasuke quickens his pace as he jumps toward and launches himself off the wall to the left of Naruto and knocks him down. Naruto falls hard, looking up at Sasuke.

"That's cheap." Naruto spits out.

"Well, it's a good thing I'm a cheap kinda guy," Sasuke saunters to the front entrance. He leans against the doorframe, drawling out a "lacking a cheap kinda taste."

Naruto groans loudly.

"Can't we just have ramen?" He whines.

"No, I win, fair and square."

"I'm pretty sure a lot of those moves were illegal." Naruto points out.

"No, we never set any rules. First one to the front entrance chooses dinner. That's what we agreed on." Sasuke crosses his arms and examines his nails.

"Sasuke, please," Naruto says, "ramen."

"No."

Sasuke exits the building. Naruto falls limp on the ground, students gathering around.

"I'm dead. You're all vultures. Tell him that – maybe he'll believe me."

It is kind of pathetic to see Mr. Uzumaki on the ground like this, but it is also hella funny.

Sasuke rushes out of his class when the last bell rang. He shoves past students in an attempt to get to the door before…

…wait, where is Naruto?

Never mind! Focus, Sasuke!

Sasuke slides along the floor as he rounds the last bend. He looks up and locks eyes with Naruto… standing at the front door…

Sasuke slips and falls in his confusion. He looks up at Naruto.

"How did you get there?" He asks.

"I walked."

"How?" Sasuke asks.

"I put one foot in front of the other." At Sasuke's exasperated groan, Naruto caves. "I walked around the school."

Sasuke pauses.

"…around? As in outside?"

"Yes, as in outside."

"You – you can't do that!" Sasuke exclaims. He gets up and storms up to Naruto.

"Yes, I can."

"What in the hell makes you think that's okay?" Sasuke's voice raises in pitch.

"All's fair in love and war." Naruto says smugly.

"You aren't allowed to cheat!"

"Oh, so you're admitting you were cheating, then." Naruto crosses his arms.

"No, I wasn't! It's just that the rules bend to my will, not yours."

"Haha." Naruto laughs victoriously.

"Please, Naruto, can we go somewhere I like?" Sasuke begs.

"No. The first person to the front entrance gets to choose dinner," Naruto leans in, "and you're outta luck, babe."

"No ramen, Naruto – please, I beg of you!"

Naruto looks up at Sasuke from his bowl of ramen.

"Hey, Sas," he slurps up a noodle, "that was totally hot the other day, I never told you."

"What was hot?" Sasuke pushes the noodles in is bowl slightly.

"When I finally heard you call me daddy. You should do that more often."

"Ew, no, that's gross!"

"That's why we're together in the first place!"

"I was a slip of the tongue!"

"How do you slip from Uzumaki to Daddy?"

"Shut up!"