Sorry for the long wait! I've been super busy. Please let me know what you think xoxo
Quil and I talked all throughout lunch. We sat there for almost two hours. The waiter continued to make eyes at me, and flirt very blatantly. Quil was growing really agitated, so I suggested that we headed back to La Push.
The blonde waiter came to give us our check, and winked at me. I rolled my eyes again.
"Something wrong?" Quil asked.
"He's such a player. I can tell just by the way that he acts that he gets a lot of girls," I rolled my eyes again.
He chuckled, "And that bothers you because..?"
"Because, guys like that think I'm going to fall into their arms. And that's not how it works with me. I don't fall into anyone's arms. I don't chase anyone."
He smirked, "Then what's it like with you?"
"If a guy wants to play a game, then I'll give him a game to play. But I like sweet boys. Shy ones. I've had way too much experience with tool bags." He looked sad when I said the last part. I cleared my throat and laid down thirty bucks. "You ready?"
He picked my money up off the table, laid down his own, and grabbed my hand before I could argue that I wanted to pay. He slipped my money back into my own hand and led the way to his truck. I huffed. He grinned at me. He had the most gorgeous smile. White teeth that stood out brilliantly against his tanned skin. "You didn't really think I was going to let you pay, did you?" He asked as he opened the passenger door for me and gave me a hand in.
"Well I sorta hoped," I replied as he got in his seat.
The ride back to La Push was almost exactly the same as the time we spent at the diner. We talked about anything and everything.
"You've broken a lot of hearts, haven't you?" He asked, with a somber smile. It would be hard to explain the expression he had on his face. It wasn't a sad smile, but it wasn't a happy one either. It was almost as if he were reminiscing.
I shrugged. "You could say that, I guess. But I think I've had my heart broken more." He raised his eyebrows as if telling me to continue. "Any guy that I dated, I dated for the same reason that I smoked, or drank, or did drugs. Or went to insane parties. I wanted someone to make me feel whole. I didn't want to feel empty and alone anymore. I could be in a sea of people and still feel like a lonely little guppy." I sighed. "So whenever I realized that it wasn't going to work out, I would be devastated. Because with any new guy that I began a relationship with, came a little piece of hope that he would be my saving grace. He would be the one that would make me just, happy. He would be the one that would stitch me up, and love, and cherish, and take care of me. Whenever it didn't happen, a little piece of hope in me died." I was now staring out the window, my eyes following the metal railing whooshing beside us. "I came here in hopes that I would feel better. That I could get on a straight and narrow path. That I could just be happy with myself, and not feel like I needed any substance, or any person to feel joy in life." I smiled a little sadly. "Dale Carnegie once said 'It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.' I didn't like the life I was living. I wasn't proud of it. So I'm changing it."